By David Joel Miller MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Are there different types of Borderline Personality Disorder?
Are there types of Borderline Personality Disorder?
Photos courtesy of Pixabay.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) differ so much there might be more than one type of BPD or that we may be placing several different mental illnesses together under one label. Gunderson in his book Borderline Personality Disorder describes three levels of functioning in people with BPD. Hotchkiss appears to enlarge this idea into three types of borderlines.
Diagnostic criteria for mental health disorders are largely normal characteristics that have grown so large that they begin to interfere with everyday life. Everyone has sadness sometimes and we all are or should be anxious occasionally. That same concept of degree rather than nature is applicable to BPD.
Masterson wrote about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and described this as coming in low, medium, and high levels. I think the use of that same sort of yardstick for measuring BPD might be useful.
Low Borderline characteristics or traits.
People with low BPD or beginning Borderline traits have or are able to sustain a primary relationship. This relationship may be rocky but the low borderline trait individual is able to have satisfying interactions with a partner. They will perceive this partner as supportive.
What brings a low symptom Borderline into treatment will be feelings of emptiness, loneliness, or depression despite having a supportive partner. They may also suffer from chronic boredom or masochism. They want both a close relationship and fear that relationship because needing someone exposes you to becoming dependent on them.
As a result of the presence of that supportive person in their life, a mild BPD individual may go undiagnosed. They may lack the intense anger and have fewer and milder mood swings than those that appear in more severe cases. Their self-destructive behaviors will be fewer and less frequent and may be ascribed to life experiences like layoffs or fights with their S. O. rather than being recognized as BPD traits.
What tips the clinician off to the BPD traits is not the current relationship but a history of previous unstable relationships and a pattern of over-rapid entry into and speedy exit from relationships, as well as a history of being the victim of abuse or neglect.
Medium BPD.
As the symptoms of BPD become more severe you may experience more anger, more worries about losing your partner, and more frantic efforts to keep your partner in the relationship. People with medium BPD are described as having difficulty seeing things from other’s points of view and devaluing others. They may manipulate as a way to get their needs met. They have the belief that asking will not get them what they need and that they need to force others to stay with them.
This level of borderline functioning is full of break-ups and make-ups, drama from current and previous relationships, and recurrent self-harm or suicide attempts to force the partner to stay. Someone with medium intensity BPD may plan suicide with the thought that this will punish the other for not loving them enough.
High Borderline Personality Symptoms.
When BPD reaches this level the person with Borderline Personality Disorder is unable to maintain a relationship with a significant other. They are without a functioning support system and become increasingly lonely and angry. They may develop distorted thinking, delusions, and eventually hallucinations. They may have episodes of panic involving various anxiety-provoking possibilities.
At this level of BPD symptoms, the most likely coping mechanisms are efforts to distract the self by using drugs and alcohol, abusing food, and acting out behaviors. Fights, promiscuity, self-mutilation, or suicide attempts will be common.
Are relationships a cause or the result of the level of BPD?
There is some question as to whether having a significant relationship reduces the level of borderline traits or if people low in traits can maintain better relationships than those who are high in BPD traits.
One thing that seems clear is that if you have a supportive other in your life, especially in your primary relationship, you are more likely to be able to cope with your mental illness. Learning life skills can improve your functioning and increase the likelihood of finding a supportive partner. Healthy people attract healthy partners.
Are you doing all you can to create good relationships with others and to become the kind of person who can have happy supportive relationships?
Other posts on Borderline Personality Disorder are:
What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
What causes Borderline Personality Disorder?
Levels or types of Borderline Personality Disorder
Treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
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Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
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Doesn’t borderline mean your crazy? Like the character Glenn Close playes in Fatal Attraction? Because I am not like that!
I don’t attach myself to someone like that and then turn on them like she did .
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Thanks for your question. I think you’re jumping to a wrong conclusion. Things are not all black or white. Sometimes there gray and sometimes they are blue. Because you’re physically ill does not mean you’re going to die soon. When it comes to mental illness there are not two kinds of people, normal and crazy. The example you cite is an extreme example. But there are a great many people with much milder forms of all the mental illnesses.Milder cases of borderline are often referred to as borderline traits. People with these characteristics make friends quickly, fall in love at first sight and so on. Because they are quick to like others there also likely to be disappointed. People with borderline traits often feel let down or betray and may become angry about it. How severe the reaction is can depend on the person and the severity of their disorder. I hope you get the point here that you can have a mental illness and not be “crazy.”
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Do you think that the behavior of a mild borderline is actually manipulating or is it just a figure of speech?
Also, what do you think is the best pharmaceutical treatment?
My girlfriend has OCD and BPD and takes 2mg Zoloft but when we have a serious fight or breakup she has selfinjured herself or have major crisis which in many cases didn’t even remember afterwards.Not seriously like a suicide attempt but more like a cry for help or “a way to reduce the pain” as she has said. What do you think would be the best treatment to keep away from these events? Would it be something different from Zoloft or something additional?
Thanks in advace.
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I can’t tell you which medication might be best, that’s a question for a psychiatrist or medical Dr. I think of manipulation as one way of getting your needs met. Hopefully your partner will learn other ways.Your girlfriend would really benefit from therapy in addition to the medication. Thanks for commenting.
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This is not me I’m talking about but its my character on a story I’m writing. What if she has tried to kill herself, gets fights, has anger issues, has self harmed before, and has been abused as a kid. She has suffered with depression since she was 12 but her anger issues calmed down once she was 26 years old. What mental illness would that be if she also has anxiety and ADD
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Hi, Halle. Thanks for contacting me.
You have asked an excellent question. I don’t believe I have ever written about the challenges of including a character with a mental illness in a fictional story. This topic deserves a fair size blog post, possibly even a longer article. Let me share some personal experiences with you; then I’ll try to answer your question.
It is hard to do a good job of including a character in the story with a diagnosable mental illness, particularly so if that character is your protagonist. It is very easy to fall into stereotyping traps. Because of my own writing projects, I have looked for authors who do a good job of portraying characters with a mental illness. If you have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them, and if you’re looking for a beta reader for your manuscript, I would be interested in taking a look.
During NaNoWriMo, I completed a novel about a man with PTSD. This novel, currently with the working title “Casino Robbery” is in its fourth draft, has been to an editor, and is now in the hands of beta readers. I hope to publish it later this year followed by several other novels about protagonists with various mental illnesses or emotional problem. Here is a little bit about my book “Casino Robbery.”
The robbers wanted more than money; they planned to kill Arthur’s fiancé and her boss.
Arthur Mitchell was trying to start his life over with a fiancé and a new job. That all ends when the casino robbers shoot Arthur, kill his fiancée and her boss. Arthur would like to forget that horrible day, but the traumatic nightmares and constant reminders won’t let him, and someone is still out to get him. When he tries to start over by running a rural thrift store, someone knocks him unconscious, vandalize the store, and finally tries to kill him. His only chance to find peace is to figure out what the killers want from him and why.
Now for the part about your story.
Watch your time period. Diagnoses are about current symptoms not what happened in the past. If you had the flu last year, you are not a “fluer.” Avoid giving your character a whole laundry list of illnesses. Pick one and show how it is affecting them during your story. Some anger, sadness or anxiety is normal. You need to show how this character has excesses one or more of these in the present. The only one were sure about right now is that you tell me she has ADD. ADD by the way no longer exists the newer term would be ADHD predominantly inattentive. Even here we don’t know if she’s taking medication and if so are her symptoms controlled by those meds.
Your best options are probably:
1. Major depressive disorder – if you tell us she is currently having symptoms of depression that interfere with her ability to work, have good relationships, or the depression bothers her.
2. If you use borderline personality disorder will need to give her a very chaotic life. A history of self-harm, as in Nonsuicidal self-injury suggests borderline personality disorder, but only if she is continuing to self-harm.
3. If you use anxiety, you will need to develop this. Does everything scare her? Generalized anxiety disorder. Is she afraid of elevators – specific phobia? Did she end up in the hospital because of panic attacks? Panic disorder.
4. It is quite possible despite all these past problems; this character is in sustained recovery and may be seeing a therapist or attending a support group in order to avoid a recurrence of her symptoms.
Hope that helps.
David Joel Miller.
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What about quite bpd? I doubt I might be suffering from that. I also have fear of intimacy(more like uncomfortable with intimacy). But my dad used to have high temper with in the end made him suicide. I’m unclear about my symptoms, some times they seem to bother me a lot later I feel it’s normal.
But looking at my father and a very intense relationship I had earlier I feel I may be suffering from quite BPD.
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I have not heard the term “quiet borderline” before. I suspect this is very similar to what I call mild borderline personality disorder. Some people would call it “borderline traits” if it was not severe enough to interfere with your functioning. If it is bothering you, affecting your ability to work, or your relationships you might want to seek help
Thanks for contacting me. I’ve had the blog set to auto pilot, publishing prescheduled posts while I’m away, so it’s taken me a while to get back responding to some comments and questions.
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Having a supportive partner doesn’t help.
Actually makes it worse. Nothing helps.
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So many people have recovered from severe mental illnesses. We see it every day. I hope you do not give up hope. If you are out of hope let your therapist hope for you until you are ready to hope. Having some sort of support system is beneficial. That support does not always come in the form of a romantic partner. It may be a professional or a pet. I hope you find someone that can make your journey less difficult.
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Having a supportive partner or person does not help.
Nothing helps.
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So many people have recovered from severe mental illnesses. We see it every day. I hope you do not give up hope. If you are out of hope let your therapist hope for you until you are ready to hope. Having some sort of support system is beneficial. That support does not always come in the form of a romantic partner. It may be a professional or a pet. I hope you find someone that can make your journey less difficult.
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This is the first time I’ve seen it written down, but my MHN told me ages ago that BPD is like a continuum, some at the lighter end, some at the worse end but most around the middle.
I struggled to identify myself with the DSM V criteria, a little more so with ICD 10, but never really found myself fitting enough criteria at the level required to be BPD
I’ve been married 24 years, hold down a full time responsible job and I’m about to start a PhD, the only thing I really do is the emotional swing, and drive very fast…. but the history, the back ground as a child/teenager fit and I was diagnosed on the back of a C PTSD diagnosis.
I think it’s hard when you read a lot of information about BPD in the workplace as it always makes us seem difficult to work/deal with and there’s an inbuilt assumption that we’ll screw up. I haven’t yet, I doubt I will I’m in a very responsible position and have lots of junior employees to supervise or line manage, but I happen to have BPD. I wish there was some work into how people successfully live with BPD rather than how to manage us. Maybe having a mild/medium/severe differentiation will help us. I’d also like to see information purely geared at successful workers who sometimes need a boost or a workers guide to working with BPD, rather than a managers guide to managing BPD.
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Thanks for this comment. My thinking is that many people who have had BPD learn skills to mange their symptoms and work or have relationships just like anyone else. There may well be people around you who would have no idea about your diagnosis unless you chose to tell them. Mangers should learn to mange all employees as if they all had some struggle going on outside of work. The truth is most people with or without a diagnosis have some life struggles to deal with. Best wishes.
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Hello! If I am reading between the lines here, I sense that you are nervous about your BPD rearing it’s head during your doctoral studies. You are smart to think ahead. I am in my last semester of my doctoral work and I (honestly) nearly had a complete breakdown. HOWEVER, I also had significant hormonal issues to contend with at the same time. I reached out to my mental health provider and because I am also a provider, said, “Hey, I can’t afford to admit myself right now. We need to intervene ASAP.” We got things under control quickly and things are now in order. I also do not have a supportive family. So, it sounds like you may have a few things going for you that I did not. Do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it. It’s okay to cry and break down. Even “normal” people break down during their doctoral programs, practically every day BTW. Know that. You can’t ‘control A LOT of things in your doctoral program. My motto was “Plan B”. Learn that early. Roll with the punches, it will make life a lot easier! And whatever you do, try and buddy up with someone very, very early in the program. Someone who shares your views, someone who you can rely on throughout the entirety of your program. These programs are designed to weed people continually. Having a “buddy” will make you accountable to someone and help you get through the program. Best wishes! God bless. 🙂
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Thanks for your comments.
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Hi,
Thanks for this, Well done on your last semester and I hope it goes well and congratulations in front for becoming Dr.
I’m a year into it and love it (so far) I’ve had a promotion at work and started letting people in and know what I have, the overwhelming response so far from my MH colleagues is are you sure, you are not someone I would have thought had BPD, I’m doing okay.
I’ve just gone through 48 weeks of Cognitive analytical therapy which has been phenomenal and has given me a lot of insight, which has made some of the wild things easier to handle but also given me a lot of peace.
I was smart, right at the beginning of my PhD I met with the disability support team and we realised that I wouldn’t have mental health support all the way through my PhD so applied for funding, I have a study mental health worker who I can see for 46 hours a year. I tend to go for an hour a fortnight unless there is a deadline looming and then I have an hour a week.
Today I don’t fit the criteria for BPD but my therapist tells me it is a lifelong diagnosis it’s just sometimes I’ll hit it and sometimes I won’t, but I’ll never not be it.
I’m okay with that and I think that if I stay like this for ever I’ll be okay
Good luck, come back and let me know how you get one, that means I will know 3 people who have completed their PhD while living with BPD.
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Hello,
I know this question is silly but I am currently in a relationship with a man who has BPD. I am only just learning about the condition as weve only been together 4 months and have been researching obsessively because I love him and I refused to believe that a relationship can never work with someone of this condition. That seems hopeless and I’ve actually read articles suggesting that the only thing to really do is leave them. It seems to me that everyone deserves love. My question is this. Through all the idealization that someone with BPD can have for you, all of the ” unrealistically intense love” does that mean someone with BPD cannot feel “real” love? Am I basically waiting for the day he flips his switch off and nothing ever meant a thing? I’ve read countless articles on how to cope, how to deal with, how to handle it. But is what someone with BPD feels for someone basically an illusion? I am willing to tough it out for him. I love him dearly. I can learn to change my thought process, alter my communication skills and even grow thicker skin. But not if in the end, most cases end up with them leaving and not if this isn’t real in his eyes and he doesn’t even know it. I don’t know if that makes sense. He seems to have moments of intense emotion and lack of overall understanding of facts sometimes during these episodes but the thing about him is it passes usually within an hour or two. I feel like he might be lower to medium even though these fights come on every week and have driven me into almost insanity. But I love him. Is it real? In reading article after article I am starting unintentionally to view him as a condition rather than a person which I know is dangerous but I feel in finding out about his condition, and through all the things Ive read, that I’ve stepped into the twilight zone and I’m questioning what is real and what isn’t. I have depression and severe anxiety as well, I’ve read that it can be almost self destructive to stay in a relationship with someone who has BPD if you already deal with your own issues. I don’t know, I just love him.
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Thanks for writing. Not a silly question. Yes I believe that people with any and all diagnosis can love others. One feature of BPD is the way their emotions can change so quickly. One minute they are saying they love you and can’t live without you and the next they say they hate you. Both may well be true in that moment. They may be back to loving you before long also. The difficult part is the strain this will put on you. It is possible that your partner does not feel good about himself and this makes it hard for him to feel real love for you or anyone else. Since I do not know either of you this is only a guess. Both of you would benefit from talking with a counselor individually and then if you are able to get mentally healthier individually you could do some relationship counseling. He needs to work on himself. You cannot by yourself do enough to make him well.
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I’m curious if there are any studies to look at BPD as the root condition
from which all other behavior disorders spring. Let me suggest OCD,
PTSD, depression and Bipolar, eating disorders, sleep disorders are
all based in BPD. The only way this could exist, in my opinion is if
BPD is 100 percent genetic.
As someone who has lived or survived BPD over 50 years. Watch other family
Members deal with depression, OCD. I see it as just different flavors of BPD.
I believe, I can trace the behavior back to my grandfather on one side.
It help explain why my grandmother was relieved when he passed.
I appreciate the forum you have provided from BPD discussions.
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The things we professionals diagnose are groups of symptoms that appear to occur together. Symptoms or syndromes don’t match up well with causes. We see depression as having some common characteristics but lots of possible causes. We could postulate that all mental illnesses have a few common causes, heredity, environments and what you learn from life experiences. There are likely some common experiences in all the disorders you mention. Why one person gets a group of symptoms we call borderline and another develops OCD remains a mystery. I think it is a lot more complicated than just heredity or environment. Some of the newer research on gene expression suggests that an experience can also affect your DNA and be passed on. In the case you cite Grandfather provided some genetics but he also influenced all the family members environment and learning. Thanks for the comment.
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Masterson also wrote about BPD as having a low, mid, and high-level division of functioning. Arguably, these separations are arbitrary and artificial – in reality, these designations must flow into one another as sort of a continuum or spectrum. People at different times and with different resources can move between one level of functioning and another.
In my opinion, it’s also questionable whether BPD can be reliably or validly separated from other conditions, like “Schizoid” PD; the reliability (i.e. ability of treaters to agree on who has what condition) of this and many other disorders in the DSM is much lower than psychiatrists would like people to know.
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Absolutely, trying to categorize human behavior into discreet diagnoses is problematic. Low medium and high traits for anything are judgment calls. As I remember, Matterson’s remarks he felt some of the things we call personality disorders were normal human behaviors. Some amount to Narcissism is good, too much is bad. We tell some clients they need more self-esteem and then when they develop it people tell them they are narcissistic. It takes a lot of high self-opinion to run for office or to do many other things in the public eye. In my experience some clinicians give out personality diagnosis a lot and others almost never use them. Even Anxiety and Depression have so much overlap that they thought about creating a combined category. It is quite possible one of these days the term Borderline will get dropped and some other term substituted. Lots of literature is talking about emotional dysregulation or similar terms. Whatever label we put on these symptoms, people come to therapy wanting help and I continue to believe that they can have a happy life and recovery if they find what they need to create their own wellness plan. Thanks for reading and for the comment. David
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I currently have a BPD Traits label but would identify with Medium BPd as well. It’s interesting that a lot of mental health professionals don’t look at BPD (and probably others) as having potential subtypes. Especially when it comes to accessing services, I have been turned down because I have a Traits label but I still share the same experiences as those with the full BPD label. I guess because I have more good days then bad. But the bad are bad. I’m also aware that adding subtypes can just make it easier for more over-diagnosing to occur which isn’t helpful.
Good post 🙂
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Thanks for the comment. Many clinicians avoid the personality disorders because they feel
“labeling” the client can harm them and personality disorders may not get treatment in many places, hence the “traits” description. If you are having really bad days, whatever is different on these days may meet criteria and get diagnosed. So you might be able to get treatment for depression or anxiety even if the underlying cause (BPD) is not covered. Hope you find some help. With newer, effective treatments for BPD (as in DBT) my feeling is it should be covered.
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DBT should be covered, I agree with you. In some places I could access DBT is covered but the wait list is horrible (over 1 year). I have found success with
The Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Workbook.
Thank you for your comment!
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Thanks for sharing that book and for your comment. Glad to hear you found something helpful.
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Reblogged this on Marci, Mental Health, & More and commented:
I think I am more at a low level now, after years of therapy and learning DBT skills. I have been at medium and high before, and was diagnosed at that time.
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Thanks for the reblog.
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I feel like I am between low and medium. I can sustain a relationship (I have a 2 year curse) by the time we hit 1-1.5 years it starts getting rocky and the break up and getting back together begins. Most people would not think I have it. I am hypersensitive but hide it well. I lie to myself. I tell others I am not. I tell people I dont care what others think but really I do a lot. I feel like I dont have abuse issues. I describe myself as a non addictive person but when it comes to the person I love I am obsessed with them. Before being diagnosed I was googling stuff like can you love your partner too much. I was devastated. In my journals I wrote all I ever wanted was to be loved. I feel like more research needs to be done. I am not the fatal attraction type. I have my head on my shoulders but I am neurotic. (hypochondriac). Until being diagnosed I was always trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I knew something was wrong. I am pretty sure I am high functioning mainly because I have this disorder because my mom has it and has been untreated. So being gentically predisposed to it and growing up with a mother who couldn’t control herself raised me in a way where I was never properly taught how to cope with emotions correctly. Also I felt like she had favorites and my parents may have divorced when I was 2 but my step dad has been in my life since I was 4/5. I call him dad. I didnt start to see my real dad until I was 7/8. Either way I never tied these things together. I was a good student and out of fear of being sent away to my dads I was always a good person not a trouble maker. However, I was grounded everyday for arguing with my mother. I put some holes in walls when I was younger too. I was just so angry. I dont really get rage anymore. Maybe 1-2 times a year when I knock stuff of the top of the dresser but I normally internalize the anger and shake/tremble rolling on thr ground because I literally lost control of myself. I care too much of what other people think that I am able to keep a lot of my problems under wraps. I just feel like there are levels for sure because I am not the crazy bitch type. Im the sensitive happy type but I lose myself behind it all.
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Thanks fro sharing your experience. As your comment points out there can be degrees of all these problems and they can come and go in episodes. Also adding to life’s difficulties are the things that we all need to cope with in life and some people learn these life lessons different ways and at different times. Stay happy and best wishes. David
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Thanks for the mention
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My childhood was a mess. My mother, I believe, has narcissistic personality disorder. She reminded me frequently throughout childhood that there will always be someone better than me. She could cruel in many ways. She told not-so-nice things about me to her friends and to mine as well. She would create drama and competition between people. Then, when confronted, would lie about it. Holidays became a horrible, dreadful time. It has only been in recent years that I have started to enjoy them again.
My father had a traumatic childhood adding to the mix of dysfunction. Because I understood why he behaved the way he did I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Like my mother, he plays the martyr, while victimizing others. I felt from a very young age that my birth ruined his life.
It came to me that I was dealing with a bowl of spaghetti that was intertwined that it was a gooey mess. No matter what I did, whatever went wrong was all my fault. So, I removed myself from the situation. I am estranged from both as I realize that they are toxic to my life, and I can’t fix them. My life is happier without dealing with their criticisms, devaluing and crazy-making. All I can do is pray for them. My strangeness has been in the fact that I am slow to commit in a relationship because I want to scope it out first. I have maintained relationships, but have learned not to get too attached. A psychiatrist told me about thirteen years ago that I am “normal”. Ha! At this time, I was taking anti-depressants and sleep aids. The farther I am away from “blood” the healthier my attitude and physical being. Because it is not “conventional” many do not understand. I have learned to accept that.
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Thanks for sharing that. Given what you have been through it is reasonable that you would need to cut some people out of your life. Someday you may be healthy enough to reestablish a relationship, but not till you are ready. I think we always wish that things were different, but once you are injured you will always be careful around that kind of danger in the future.
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LOL! You must be my sister from another mother…or father. At any rate, you pegged both my parents to a tee and me as well! Even though I have sought therapy for nearly 40 years because my mother always told me there “was something wrong with me,” my therapist seems to thinks otherwise. Funny how my mother has never been in therapy. Why would she, when everyone else is the problem? Yes, understanding one’s triggers and being kind and gentle to yourself is so very important. Especially because you know we lack a validating environment as children. It’s like trying to learn calculus without first understanding addition. Safety and validation are the bedrocks to trust.
Thank you for allowing me to share. 🙂
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Glad you read nd commented.
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It’s interesting that you’ve picked the ability to hold down a relationship as a key factor in diagnosing a level of BPD. It’s not one of the factors I consider at all within my own diagnosis and “recovery”. I was in a relationship and married for nearly 13 years, although the marriage broke-down due to my eventual hospitalisation and suicidality. I don’t doubt the relationship was unhealthy from the start because of my heavy dependence on him and his “walking on eggshells” (unbeknownst to me) in order to keep my happy and stable. Now I’m in a new relationship which is much healthier as I have a diagnosis and am fully aware of my symptoms, triggers etc. However, just because I’m in a happy relationship, doesn’t mean my BPD is under control or low level. Other factors play in my illness and having one part of my life in order doesn’t mean the rest falls into place and stays there. I can be as happy as I like with my partner, but when I still have money worries, or I’m still stressed because I can’t see my kids as much as I’d like, or any of a myriad of “minor” things going on in my life, my BPD flares up just as badly as ever. I may cope slightly better because of my partner, but only very slightly. My brain is still coming out with its wonky logic and exaggerated emotional reactions. My S.O is helpless to prevent that from happening, as am I. And, as I learnt in the past, I can have what appears to be a wonderful relationship with two beautiful children, and still want to kill myself. I firmly believe more emphasis needs to be placed on the genetic side of BPD and the phsyiology of the condition, rather than the ability or not to hold down a relationship.
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Thanks for that great comment. When therapists talk about relationships we have something different in mind than what most people are thinking of. In the future I will try to make that clearer. Beyond romantic relationships there are or can be problems in relationships with parents, playmates, school teachers and then later in life problems with employers, co-workers children and neighbors. “Relationship issues” or lots of problems with other people is a symptom that is often easy to see, like a person running a fever, it gets noticed first. I do not think a bad romantic relationship necessarily makes someone bipolar. Genetics, life experiences and a host of other things are risk factors. We still do not know why one person with risk factors gets the disorder and another person from the same family does not. Again thanks for the comment and best wishes on having the life you want.
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Reblogged this on MAKE BPD STIGMA-FREE! and commented:
What do you think of this article? Do you agree with the different levels or types of BPD? If so, what type or level are you? I think I was previously a medium-level and am now mostly-low level.
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Thanks for reading and for Re-blogging. The idea of levels or types of BPD is a theory. I will be interested to see how people who have this issue relate to this idea. We need to do more to reduce or eliminate all forms of stigma about mental illnesses. I continue to believe people get and recover from mental illnesses just like any other illness. Best wishes.
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What do I do if I suspect that I have borderline personality disorder? I found that I have about 7 symptoms .
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First don’t be too focused on some or all the symptoms. Most symptoms are things all humans experience from time to time. The question is how sever the symptoms are. I recommend you seek help from a professional especial one trained in or familiar with DBT. Standard treatment consists of a small amount of time on the current symptoms and problems and a lot of time focused on getting to know yourself and learning the life skills you need to overcome problems effectively. meditation and mindfulness can also be helpful. A good part of life is learning to accept the things we cant change rather than upsetting ourselves over things not being the way we think they should be. Working with a counselor you should be able to get this under control and have a happy life.
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Some of the symptoms I experience are not normal or (at least I think so). The symptoms don’t interfer much with my life, but I’m afraid it will later.So, if I went to see a professional do I tell him/her about my suspects?
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First you need to develop a relationship and feel comfortable talking to the counselor but beyond that yes if it is a concern to you by all means tell them and see what they think.
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I read a thing about Princess Diana some years ago that implied she might have had a borderline personality disorder. She did have an enduring pattern of friendships that she just broke off. Apparently there was practically no-one in her life that she “wasn’t talking to” at some point or other.
Then a psychiatrist was interviewed who claimed borderline personality disorder would have interfered with her Princessing skills ie that she wouldn’t have been able to go around ribbon-cutting, making 2-minute speeches and faking smiles while handshaking. Having known 2 people with BPD I’d disagree.
By the way what do you think of this idea (Hagop Asiskal’s (sorry if I spelt his name wrong)) that BPD is a subclinical type of bipolar disorder? (And if that is so, what about cyclothymic disorder I thought that was subclinical bipolar too?) I know someone really well who has borderline personality, yes she has mood swings and no they’re nothing at all like bipolar ones.
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Thanks for the comment. You ask some very good questions. That got me thinking and inspired a whole nother post titled Lady Diana, Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder. Hope that post answers your questions. I appreciate hearing from readers so please – feel free to leave more comments and/or ask more questions.
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