What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

personality disorder

What is borderline personality disorder?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Bipolar or Borderline Personality Disorder?

People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) experience intense emotional pain and lots of loss in their life. They never feel the faint breeze or the warmth of the sun in the springtime. For the Borderline the world is a place of hurricanes and scorching heat. Life is one horrific storm. They experience terrible loss. BPD may result in interrupted education, ruined or unstable relationships, and frequent job loss.

BPD can look like Bipolar Disorder but while the Bipolar person may have months of depression and long periods of elevated mood or irritability the BPD person has all those mood changes in a single day.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is an often overlooked and misunderstood mental health issue that gets placed under the heading Personality Disorders. BPD is coded on Axis II and viewed as long-standing and difficult to treat. Personality disorders often co-occur with other mental health challenges such as depression and Bipolar disorder. Because of the notion that a personality disorder is difficult, if not impossible to treat, there is a reluctance to give clients this diagnosis.

Untreated BPD is viewed as a “pervasive” or inflexible pattern in life and includes four characteristics, unstable relationships, fuzzy self-image, impulsivity, and lots of negative emotions. The DSM lists 9 “criteria” or symptoms the client might have but only requires 5 of those nine symptoms to make the diagnosis. In practice, this means a lot of judgment calls.

Most people with Borderline Personality Disorder have some but not all of the “criteria” for the disorder. Gunderson suggests in his book that there are three distinct Levels of Borderline Personality Disorder based on the nature of your relationships with others.

Children experience some mood instability as a normal part of growing up. We expect some BPD characteristics that will go away as they mature. As a result, children are almost never given a personality disorder diagnosis. When the BPD picture seems to be developing, the child may be described as having “Borderline traits.”  Those with untreated BPD generally do not get better with age, the pain they experience grows.

BPD begins in early adulthood and those “characteristics” or “traits” need to occur in multiple situations. This disorder, when treated, generally fades as the person gets older. Women make up 75% of those who get BPD diagnosis and frequently had a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder prior to being diagnosed with BPD. This disorder is probably underdiagnosed in men because men act out, break laws, and get caught abusing substances more often than women. These other problems get diagnosed first and become the focus of treatment.

Treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder is effective in reducing symptoms. Ten years after treatment half of those diagnosed with BPD no longer have enough symptoms to receive the diagnosis though they may continue to have some Borderline “traits.”

There appear to be a number of Causes of Borderline Personality Disorder. Some of the symptoms of BPD are adaptive behaviors that may have worked to protect you and get your needs met when you were younger but as you grow up these behaviors no longer work.

Abandonment is a key issue for those with BPD. They need someone in their life and can’t stand being alone but fear being rejected and abandoned. They are constantly on the lookout for signs of potential abandonment. As a result, they may appear needy and drive people away. Their impulsive behavior creates exactly what they most fear.

Someone with BPD is very sensitive to their environment. When things do not go well in relationships they blame themselves and may “take it out” on themselves. Self-mutilating, cutting, burning, and suicide attempts are common.

Because of their terrible need for a supportive relationship BPD individuals tend to jump into very close intimate relationships without getting to know the other person. As a result, they over-trust people who should not be trusted and expect more from partners than another person can provide. Once disappointed they become furiously angry. They are often demanding in relationships and need lots of time with their partner. They may have violent emotional reactions when their partner attempts to leave for work, school, or errands.

Sudden changes in their opinions of others are common. When let down by those in their life they respond with lots of anger, sarcasm, and bitterness which only drives others farther away.

Many individuals with BPD report they don’t know who they are other than by adopting the values of those around them. They may have sudden changes or difficulty identifying values, goals, or career plans. They often self-sabotage. It is not uncommon for someone with BPD to quit school just before finals or leave a job just as they were about to get a raise or promotion.

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder is a horrific challenge for those with this condition and it challenges those who would like to be in a relationship with the person with a Borderline condition. While treatment is never easy it can be effective and result in creating a happy, fulfilled, and connected life.

Other posts on Borderline Personality Disorder include:

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

What causes Borderline Personality Disorder?

Levels or types of Borderline Personality Disorder

Treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Top 10 Men’s Issues

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Men drinking

Drugs and alcohol are top men’s issues.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

What are Men’s issues and how are they different from the other issues that bring clients to counseling?

Men have issues. We are not talking about back copies of the swimsuit issues either. Men traditionally have avoided coming to counseling for those issues even when they really could have used some help. Men try to tough it out and cope without asking for help. That reluctance to come to see a counselor is changing. The result of this trend has been an increase in counselors who specialize in “Men’s issues.”

Men will spend thousands on a career counselor or a life coach to help them with jobs or business success but when it comes to relationships, children, and their own happiness and well-being, they have been slow to accept the need for assistance.

When I started in this profession, I was surprised to see relatively few men in the classes with me. There were few men counselors and very few men in treatment. The few men who did come to see a counselor were referred to treatment by a judge, parole, or probation.

When I worked as a substance abuse counselor there were lots of men. They predominate in treatment and in the profession when it comes to substance abuse, domestic violence, drunk driving, and similar issues. When it comes to social work or the therapy room the men disappear on both sides of the desk. Among clients, this is beginning to change as men realize the need for more resources in managing life’s problems.

Men report to me that they have felt like their role in the family was that of a prepaid debit card. They go out and make money which is placed at the disposal of their family. If they fail to earn enough they are likely to be discarded like a maxed-out credit card. Beyond the simple maintenance of their most basic needs, food, sex, and a few expensive toys, men were conditioned to think that they should not have feelings or weaknesses.

For a man to ask for help implies accepting failure. Men kept going even when injured emotionally until they could not keep going. The homeless veterans of past wars, tortured by the symptoms of PTSD, are a testimony to the way in which men that showed a weakness can be discarded. To ask for help with an emotion was tantamount to accepting failure.

This situation is changing and for good reason. Men are learning that to acknowledge feelings is not a sign of failure. To seek consultation for struggles with life’s problems is not weakness but wisdom.

More men than ever before are assuming the role of primary custodians of their children. They are moving into the areas of childrearing that once were the exclusive territory of women. Methamphetamine and other drug addiction have accelerated this trend as more women leave their children and run the streets. Some men step up and become Mr. Mom and Dad.

Men come to counseling for information on being a good parent. They want to know how to raise happy children and they want to know how to experience this happiness after the loss of their illusion that all they needed to do to make things come out right was to earn more money.

The major “men’s issues” continue to be the traditional issues of men forced to treatment by someone else with some new issues brought on by the changes in the American family and society.

The top “men’s issues” in my practice are:

1. Career

2. Achieving success

3. Fatherhood

4. Single parenthood

5. Maintain relationships with children after divorce or separation

6.  Getting close and trusting others

7. Substance abuse

8. Anger management

9. Male sexual issues

10. Trauma

These Top Ten Men’s Issues have a lot in common with issues that bring women to therapy. The largest differences I see in the experiences are that women are a lot more attuned to the idea of working with and paying attention to their feelings. Women are schooled in expressing their feelings as a way to get relief from unpleasant experiences. Men tend to ignore feelings until overwhelm by them.

Men come to counseling looking to find solutions to their problems. What they may discover is that feelings are a valuable source of information that they will need to use to find the solution that is right for them and their relationships.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Is nicotine a stimulant or a depressant?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Full ashtray

Smoking cigarettes.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Is Tobacco an upper or a downer?

Half the articles I read tell me that Nicotine is a depressant. The other half, just as authoritatively, say it is a stimulant. It can’t be both, can it?

Smokers will tell you that when they get up in the morning they need a smoke to wake them up and get them going. Those very same smokers will tell you that at bedtime then need one last cigarette to calm them down and put them to sleep. How is this working?

Nicotine is one of a very small group of chemicals, probably the only one that is in common use, which works as both a stimulant and a depressant. Chemicals like this are called Biphasic.

Pure Nicotine is very, very poisonous.

As an insecticide, in its pure form, it will kill insects like crazy. But as a pure chemical, if it is sprayed on a field and gets on workers, those laborers will end up in the hospital and may die. So why doesn’t it kill smokers, quick like? If it killed you the first time you used it, there wouldn’t be many long-term smokers would there?

The nicotine from three packs of cigarettes, if consumed in pure form, would kill the average adult. A child could die from much less. Most of the nicotine in a cigarette is broken down by the burning and is taken in slowly, a small amount at a time. This result is a chronic low-level of the poisonous chemicals in the bloodstream rather than a single large fatal dose. A small child or pet eating a few cigarettes could reach a toxic, fatal level.

Most cases of nicotine poisoning and death are the result of being exposed to highly concentrated nicotine used as an insecticide. While nicotine was commonly used as an insecticide in the past, it has been replaced by newer more modern insecticides.

The one area in which nicotine is still permitted is in “organic” crops since nicotine is derived from a plant. Some countries have banned the use of nicotine as an insecticide and it appears likely that even the use for organic food will soon be eliminated.

Nicotine’s effects depend on the blood level.

In the early stages, the nicotine stimulates many responses in the body. The smoker, by taking in that first puff in the morning, believes they are energized.

As the day progresses the levels of nicotine in the bloodstream fluctuate. After each smoke, the level rises. The body, principally the liver, attempts to remove the toxin and the level is reduced. This up-down action creates the craving the smoker experiences.

The administration of any drug in many small doses, particularly by smoking, increases the addiction potential.

Late in the day, the smoker will have achieved a relatively high level of nicotine in the bloodstream. At high doses, the nicotine begins to depress systems in the body. Just before bedtime, the habitual smoker will smoke more in a shorter period of time in an effort to relax for sleep. The level of nicotine will slowly fall during the night as the liver detoxifies the drug.

Smokers instinctively respond to these low dose – high dose effects. A smoker who is trying to feel stimulated will take many short puffs. The smoker trying to sedate themselves will take fewer long puffs and raise the level in the bloodstream more rapidly.

It seems likely that many poisonous chemicals would affect the body in the same biphasic way. At low doses, the poison stimulates the body to defend itself and at high doses, the body shuts down under the effects of the poison. Nicotine, unlike many other poisons, is different in that it is able to produce these body and mind-altering effects which users find so pleasant while producing the diseases and death slowly over time rather than quickly.

Nicotine withdrawal.

Another reason for Nicotine’s calming effects is that repeated smoking counteracts the withdrawal or abstinence effect. As the level of nicotine in the smoker’s body drops they begin to experience withdrawal and become agitated. By replacing the nicotine in the bloodstream the smoker is delaying the withdrawal and reliving the agitation.

Tobacco keeps its users alive and dependent on it for their mood state changes for as long as it can.

Why do the effects of nicotine on the body matter to readers of a blog on mental health and substance abuse issues?

Because, by one report, the majority of cigarettes consumed in America are smoked by people with a diagnosed mental illness. Hope this post helps explain the way in which nicotine can both stimulate and depress the body.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel