By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
What exactly does “Spiritual but not religious” mean?
A very large number of people here in America are describing themselves as “Spiritual, not religious.” There is a growing disconnect between religion and people’s day-to-day life.
As a result of this disconnect we are gaining some things, I hope, such as a wider appreciation of our differences, but we are also losing some things.
In secular programs, those run by government agencies, we try to accommodate people of all faiths and those with no faith. Sometimes this is a challenge. We have to ask people what their religious or spiritual belief is without implying that they need to have one or that the belief they have is not acceptable to the agency.
An example of accommodating faiths and other spiritual beliefs
There are a whole lot of people who are vegetarians, do not eat meat variety vegetarians, not because of religious or health reasons but because they view the killing animals for human food as morally wrong.
Our society seems to be doing a better job of accommodating this particular moral belief. More events are offering vegetarian meals.
It gets harder when we take into account that some faiths do not eat pork, some decline beef and some require particular diets as in kosher.
Beyond dietary restrictions, it gets progressively more difficult to accommodate other spiritual beliefs within our increasingly multicultural society.
During intake processes, we are supposed to ask about the client’s race or ethnicity. An increasing number of clients are finding it difficult to answer that question. Some people are reporting 5 or more different ethnicities in their background.
When talking with clients I try to make it a practice to ask about their spiritual or religious beliefs.
Say the client reports that they are African-American. This tells me nothing about their spiritual beliefs. We need to try to stay open to all manner of possibilities.
More and more people are finding it impossible to answer questions about their faith. We have to tread lightly here. I do not want to imply that they need to have a faith or that any particular faith is preferred, but I do not want to completely disregard their spiritual practices in designing their treatment.
Those few who do answer are resorting to one of two responses. I am a Christian or Spiritual But Not Religious. Most who say Christian do not self-identify with any particular denomination. They are not Catholic; they are not Protestant and so on. Some few report attending Non-denominational churches.
Most who self-describe as Christians are reporting, at least in my experience that they do not attend any particular church.
A very large number are reporting as Spiritual but not religious.
So why does all this matter? From a practical standpoint those who self-identify as believing something do better in treatment than those who have no faith. This benefit includes those who self-identify as Atheists if they also report some particular higher law or principle, say right and wrong, that helps them guide their life and is reassuring in times of stress.
One of the gains from this spirituality moment has been sets of values that people take with them day by day in all areas of their lives. I am suspicious of any faith that requires you to be a believer for a couple of hours each week, while in a particular building, but you are free to spend the rest of the week on raping, pillaging, and burning.
One of the things we are losing as a result of this increased emphasis on spirituality and the disconnect from religion is the loss of meaningful shared rituals.
Rituals give meaning to things that would otherwise be everyday actions.
Rituals are not solely the providence of the religious world. Court proceedings, with that robe, the bailiff, and the ritualized language, make the whole process seem more meaningful and as a result, are intended to increase respect for the law and the workings of the court. The ritual gives the process meaning. Occasionally the system debases the meaning when they do not follow the principles of justice these rituals imply.
Graduation ceremonies are a ritual we can all share to make the transition to another life stage. Marriages used to be a way to make the transition from being two separate dating people; to one committed couple. We still have the ritual despite the loss of meaning that a wedding has after having the parties have several children.
Funerals are also a ritual we all share that helps us negotiate the loss of a person who had some meaning in our life.
In places where there is one dominant faith, rituals are shared by virtue of people’s participation in that faith. With the decline of active participation in a particular religion and an increase in self-identified Spiritual But Not Religious, what has been missing are the rituals that used to accompany life events.
Creating new rituals.
People in recovery have resorted to creating new rituals that may help them to share the emotions and resolve the changes in status without invoking a particular religion.
Addicts may write a “Goodbye Letter” to their drug of choice. There are traditions of sponsorship that may replace the “rite” of confession in certain religions. People celebrate the anniversary of their embarking on the road of recovery.
One remaining challenge has been how to create meaningful shared rituals that do not impinge on people’s particular religious faith and allow full participation in the ritual.
Whatever your spiritual or religious tradition, here is wishing you the best possible life.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
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More and more whenever I see the question of ethnicity on a form I’m filling out, I simply want to put the answer, “Human” because I worry that differentiating ourselves into different groups of people may be contributing to the lack of connection some might feel with others of another group. For me, religion is also like that. I’m spiritual rather than religious because I *want* that connection, not the separation.