Stories
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Every lesson needs a story.
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist, Counselor, and Certified Life Coach.
One of my core character strengths is the love of learning. I’ve spent the better part of 70-plus years going to school, either as a student or a teacher, and some semesters I’ve done both: take classes and teach them.
It’s fine to learn general principles, but I have been told, and I have found it true, that the deepest form of learning comes from capturing the truth of something in a story.
When working with students, interns, and, often, clients, I have found that they resonate more with the stories I tell than with cold, hard facts. Often, as I’m thinking about a problem, an image comes to mind. Throughout this series of blog posts, I want to share some of those stories with you.
One explanation of this phenomenon comes from anthropology, along with some conjecture about human origins. Long before humans had written language, we sat around the fireplace at night, or our ancestors held up in a cave, and the wise old men and women told stories.
Hearing that you shouldn’t do something because it was dangerous and that the way to escape that danger was to do something else is hard to remember. But when you hear the story of how a young boy named Harry Potter or the girl Katniss Everdeen overcame their difficulties, you’re likely to remember it.
All the great religious books, from the original five books of the Bible through to the end of Jesus’ teachings and the Book of Revelation, tell stories. So do the sacred scriptures of the Muslims and the Hindus. I find that in my counseling work, things often make more sense to me, and to the clients, if I can capture their essence in a story. So, forgive me if this series of blog posts is heavily populated by stories.
Of course, I can’t tell the stories of real clients as that would violate their confidentiality or anonymity. But I can tell you stories that are about composite or fictional characters, and sometimes I tell stories about purely imaginary people.
Over the next weeks, I want to tell you some of my favorite life stories. I hope you’ll let me know if you recognize these stories and especially if you’ve lived them.
The first story I want to tell you is called “Climbing Life Mountain.” At first glance, it’s a relatively simple, straightforward story. But as we begin to develop the characters and the plot, I think you will see how this simple metaphor explains a lot about what happens to one person and not another, and how some people are able to overcome the worst of adversity, while others struggle even in the best of situations.
This metaphor is significant because most of what happens on the backside of the mountain, the descent of the old people from the peaks they had reached, has long been hidden from the view of the large mass of people climbing the front of the mountains. I believe that how one ends life matters just as much as how one begins it.
Note also that some of the most difficult challenges and also the most enjoyable had long been hidden from view in the caves scattered around the mountain. Getting together with a partner, engaging in sexual activities, and the birth of children have largely been hidden from the rest of the tribe.
I hope that you will check in next week when we begin our journey up the metaphorical mountain of life and try to understand how the things that happened in childhood and adolescence supposedly turn us all into adults, then gradually get shed in our journey down the other side of the mountain.
Recommended Mental Health Books
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Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?
Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.
Recently, I began working with a telehealth company called Grow Therapy. If you’d like to make an appointment to work with me, contact them, and they can do the required paperwork and show you my available appointments. The link for making an appointment to talk with me is: David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC
Life coaching clients must be working toward a specific problem-solving goal. Coaching is not appropriate if you have a diagnosable mental health problem. Also, life coaching is not covered by insurance. If you think life coaching for creativity or other life goals might be right for you, contact me directly.
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