Agitation

Agitation

Agitation
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Inspiration.      Post by David Joel Miller.

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will.”

― Frederick Douglass, Frederick Douglass: Selected Speeches and Writings

“Jane Eyre

“I desired more…than was within my reach. Who blames me? Many call me discontented. I couldn’t help it: the restlessness is in my nature; it agitated me to pain sometimes.”

― Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

I wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine’s Day.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Climbing Life’s Mountain

Climbing Life’s Mountain
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist, Counselor, and Certified Life Coach.

The process of living life is a lot like climbing a metaphoric mountain. I hope you’ll bear with me as I describe my experience climbing my own life mountain and what I’ve learned as I begin to consider the process of climbing back down the other side. We spend many years trying to reach goals farther up the mountain.

From where I live and look out my window, there’s a range of mountains off in the distance. I’m not a professional mountain climber by any means. I’ve driven over to the mountains several times and gotten far enough up to see some of the sights, but I’ve never hiked up into the rough country near the top, and I know virtually nothing about what lies in the steep valley behind this range of mountains.

The same has been true with my life mountain. I started off life at the base of a very small hill, not really knowing what to expect. That first hill we must climb is developmental, learning to walk and talk. Some of us have great climbing coaches; others were mainly left on their own. Some people were born into a family of people who had gotten injured on their climb up their life mountain and who took their pain out on their children.

As we begin to climb, the very first gentle slope of elementary school, we discovered that there was not one and only one path to take in life. From year to year, we get different teachers who teach us different ways to approach this task of becoming the best we can be. Sometimes those adults who guide us are more encouraging than others. Some of the adults are negative and punitive.

Being repeatedly told that you’re not good enough, criticized for your failures, can lead to a condition called learned helplessness. As a professional therapist, I’ve worked with a number of clients who are struggling to overcome all that negative self-talk they were raised with.

Eventually, you should climb up the mountains in your life; you’re likely to meet other climbers. Some of them become friends, and some become romantic interests. If you’re a typical life mountain climber, you probably stopped by the caves at the local hillside and spent some time with your romantic partner. Eventually, young, inexperienced mountain climbers on life’s mountain become parents and have to pause their efforts to achieve the climb they had started until their own children are launched into life.

Eventually, most climbers run out of energy or run out of life and realize that they have climbed as high as they’re going to climb. No matter how much you accomplish in life, no matter how far you climb the mountain, there’s always another range of mountains that looks higher, farther off in the distance. That’s why it seems that successful people are never satisfied with their success. They must always keep climbing higher.

There are a lot of different trails to take you climbing on the mountain. Some trails keep you walking for a long time, but you end up right back where you started. Some trails are steep and slippery. You may, with enough exertion, move to a much higher vantage point on the mountain of life.

All the while you’re climbing while you are trying to get somewhere in life, you’re not likely to see much of what’s on the other side of the mountains. Every goal of accomplishment has its letdown.

The longer you live, the more you realize there’s no turning around and going back the way you came. You will never get younger. Self-care, diet, exercise, and good mental health may keep you energetic longer. Strenuous workouts might even give you strength and energy you didn’t know you had. But eventually, the process of living life will wear on you.

If you’re observant, at every phase along this life journey, you will discover that you can’t turn around. The trails all either go up, becoming increasingly more challenging, or they turn off to the side and detour you around to the back of the mountains.

What we eventually learn about the back of the mountain is that it is an equally challenging process of decline. Some people become ill and die suddenly. They fall off the Cliff or are caught in a landslide.

The next part of our journey will occur when we ask ourselves just how far up the mountain do we want to climb and at what cost. And then what will we do as we begin to lose those things, physical, financial, and emotional, that we acquired? In the next blog post, I want to begin the discussion of how the process of aging may rob us of the things we acquired in our journey to whatever pinnacle on the mountain we reached.

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Recently, I began working with a telehealth company called Grow Therapy. If you’d like to make an appointment to work with me, contact them, and they can do the required paperwork and show you my available appointments. The link for making an appointment to talk with me is: David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC 

Life coaching clients must be working toward a specific problem-solving goal. Coaching is not appropriate if you have a diagnosable mental health problem. Also, life coaching is not covered by insurance. If you think life coaching for creativity or other life goals might be right for you, contact me directly.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Available

Available

Available
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Inspiration.      Post by David Joel Miller.

“If you love someone but rarely make yourself available to him or her, that is not true love.”

― Thich Nhat Hanh, Living Buddha, Living Christ

“You’re overthinking it.’ ‘I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.”

― Matt Haig, The Midnight Library

“Life is available only in the present moment.”

― Thich Nhat Hanh, Taming the Tiger Within: Meditations on Transforming Difficult Emotions

I wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Every lesson needs a story

Stories
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Every lesson needs a story.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist, Counselor, and Certified Life Coach.

One of my core character strengths is the love of learning. I’ve spent the better part of 70-plus years going to school, either as a student or a teacher, and some semesters I’ve done both: take classes and teach them.

It’s fine to learn general principles, but I have been told, and I have found it true, that the deepest form of learning comes from capturing the truth of something in a story.

When working with students, interns, and, often, clients, I have found that they resonate more with the stories I tell than with cold, hard facts. Often, as I’m thinking about a problem, an image comes to mind. Throughout this series of blog posts, I want to share some of those stories with you.

One explanation of this phenomenon comes from anthropology, along with some conjecture about human origins. Long before humans had written language, we sat around the fireplace at night, or our ancestors held up in a cave, and the wise old men and women told stories.

Hearing that you shouldn’t do something because it was dangerous and that the way to escape that danger was to do something else is hard to remember. But when you hear the story of how a young boy named Harry Potter or the girl Katniss Everdeen overcame their difficulties, you’re likely to remember it.

All the great religious books, from the original five books of the Bible through to the end of Jesus’ teachings and the Book of Revelation, tell stories. So do the sacred scriptures of the Muslims and the Hindus. I find that in my counseling work, things often make more sense to me, and to the clients, if I can capture their essence in a story. So, forgive me if this series of blog posts is heavily populated by stories.

Of course, I can’t tell the stories of real clients as that would violate their confidentiality or anonymity. But I can tell you stories that are about composite or fictional characters, and sometimes I tell stories about purely imaginary people.

Over the next weeks, I want to tell you some of my favorite life stories. I hope you’ll let me know if you recognize these stories and especially if you’ve lived them.

The first story I want to tell you is called “Climbing Life Mountain.” At first glance, it’s a relatively simple, straightforward story. But as we begin to develop the characters and the plot, I think you will see how this simple metaphor explains a lot about what happens to one person and not another, and how some people are able to overcome the worst of adversity, while others struggle even in the best of situations.

This metaphor is significant because most of what happens on the backside of the mountain, the descent of the old people from the peaks they had reached, has long been hidden from the view of the large mass of people climbing the front of the mountains. I believe that how one ends life matters just as much as how one begins it.

Note also that some of the most difficult challenges and also the most enjoyable had long been hidden from view in the caves scattered around the mountain. Getting together with a partner, engaging in sexual activities, and the birth of children have largely been hidden from the rest of the tribe.

I hope that you will check in next week when we begin our journey up the metaphorical mountain of life and try to understand how the things that happened in childhood and adolescence supposedly turn us all into adults, then gradually get shed in our journey down the other side of the mountain.

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Recently, I began working with a telehealth company called Grow Therapy. If you’d like to make an appointment to work with me, contact them, and they can do the required paperwork and show you my available appointments. The link for making an appointment to talk with me is: David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC 

Life coaching clients must be working toward a specific problem-solving goal. Coaching is not appropriate if you have a diagnosable mental health problem. Also, life coaching is not covered by insurance. If you think life coaching for creativity or other life goals might be right for you, contact me directly.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Attentive

Attentive

Attentive
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Inspiration.      Post by David Joel Miller.

“Make improvements, not excuses. Seek respect, not attention.”

― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Because you can’t argue with all the fools in the world. It’s easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they’re not paying attention.”

― Christopher Paolini

“The more clearly we can focus our attention on the wonders and realities of the universe about us, the less taste we shall have for destruction.”

― Rachel Carson

I wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Recently, I began working with a telehealth company called Grow Therapy. If you’d like to make an appointment to work with me, contact them, and they can do the required paperwork and show you my available appointments. The link for making an appointment to talk with me is: David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC 

Life coaching clients must be working toward a specific problem-solving goal. Coaching is not appropriate if you have a diagnosable mental health problem. Also, life coaching is not covered by insurance. If you think life coaching for creativity or other life goals might be right for you, contact me directly.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Recommended Mental Health Books

Books

Recommended Mental Health Books
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Recommended Mental Health Books

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist, Counselor, and Certified Life Coach.

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using this link. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Transitions.

Transitions. Making Sense of Life Changes. 2nd edition. William Bridges.

Kindle edition https://amzn.to/4qFNu95                   Paperback https://amzn.to/4sXBSj5

Grief and loss.

Widow to Widow. Genevieve Davis Ginsburg.

Kindle edition.            https://amzn.to/4t6G5RV                  Paperback. https://amzn.to/4biZfxs

Happiness and Positive Thinking.

What You Can Change and What Can’t. The Complete Guide to Successful Self-Improvement.

Martin E. P. Seligman, PhD.

Kindle edition.                                                                        Paperback. https://amzn.to/45rJuAC

Authentic happiness. Martin Seligman.

Kindle edition.            https://amzn.to/4qMvVnY                 Paperback. https://amzn.to/4pUxI9f

Flourish. Martin Seligman.

Kindle edition.            https://amzn.to/4q2uiB3                    Paperback. https://amzn.to/3YUyLLj

Learned optimism. Martin Seligman.

Kindle edition.              https://amzn.to/3O3eErS                  Paperback. https://amzn.to/4qFdcdI

Habits.

The Power of Habit. Charles Duhigg.

Kindle edition.            https://amzn.to/4rd9I1R                     Paperback. https://amzn.to/3LTs7Sz

Thinking Fast and Slow. Daniel Kahneman.

Kindle edition.            https://amzn.to/49PVnl6                    Paperback. https://amzn.to/4sUWvwF

Relationships.

The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work. John Gottman.

Kindle edition.            https://amzn.to/49X6uc8                   Paperback. https://amzn.to/4bN3MZ6

Parenting and Child Development.

Raising Good Humans. Doctor Thomas Lickona.

Kindle edition.            https://amzn.to/4ac6FRT                   Paperback. https://amzn.to/49H3X6Y

Recovery and Substance Abuse.

Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition: The official “Big Book” from Alcoholics Anonymous

Kindle edition.            https://amzn.to/4thfMIT

Hardcover            https://amzn.to/3NFMHGu

Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Kindle edition.            https://amzn.to/4qNAezq                  Paperback.            https://amzn.to/4pRMYDz

Success and becoming more Optimistic.

Mindset. Changing the way you think to fulfill your potential. Doctor Carol S Dweck.

Kindle edition.            https://amzn.to/4acIrHc                     Paperback. https://amzn.to/45Ycb8k

The books above are ones that I find myself recommending on a regular basis. I will probably add to this list as time goes on, so if you have any questions, please send them my way.

As a reminder, Amazon’s terms of service required me to tell you that:

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using this link. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Recently, I began working with a telehealth company called Grow Therapy. If you’d like to make an appointment to work with me, contact them, and they can do the required paperwork and show you my available appointments. The link for making an appointment to talk with me is: David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC 

Life coaching clients must be working toward a specific problem-solving goal. Coaching is not appropriate if you have a diagnosable mental health problem. Also, life coaching is not covered by insurance. If you think life coaching for creativity or other life goals might be right for you, contact me directly.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Alertness

Alertness

Alertness
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Inspiration.      Post by David Joel Miller.

“One just needs a little alertness to see and find out: Life is really a great cosmic laughter.”

― Osho

“I steeled myself to focus only on the present yet remain alert to what might come next.”

― Nicholas Sparks, Dear John

“Opportunity does not waste time with those who are unprepared.”

― Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability

I wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Martin Luther King Jr. Day

MLJ Day 2015

Today, we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Aggrandize

Aggrandize

Aggrandize
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Inspiration.      Post by David Joel Miller.

“When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.”

― Barbara Bloom

“I know it’s a bit self-aggrandizing.”

“Hey, you’re stealing my eulogy,” Isaac said. “My first bit is about how you were a self-aggrandizing bastard.”

― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

“It’s lucky no one else knows what our most secret thoughts are. We’d all be seen for the cunning, self-aggrandizing fools we are.”

― Michael Connelly, The Poet

“Paranoia, he said, was fundamentally egocentric, and every conspiracy theory served in some way to aggrandize the believer.

But he was also fond of saying, at other times, that even paranoid schizophrenics have enemies.”

― William Gibson, Pattern Recognition

I wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel