Old Age, Descending from Life’s Peaks
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist, Counselor, and Certified Life Coach.
Eventually, we all must face the reality that, however well we were doing in life, we can’t do as much, or do it for as long, or as well, as we used to. Some of these changes come on gradually, but some of them are sudden and dramatic. I’ll share with you through the course of this series of blog posts some of my experiences with climbing down the backside of life’s mountain of accomplishments.
The fact that I was getting old and things were becoming more difficult for me to do has come on gradually. I think people with severe physical limitations recognize their challenges earlier than those people who have emotional and cognitive changes as a result of aging.
I had not expected to start having these experiences quite yet. I had put off retiring until I reached the age of 70, trying to maximize my retirement since I had started putting away money at a rather late point in my career. Working as a counselor, sitting here talking with people all day, experience and learning count for a lot. I hope I will be able to do it for a while longer, but the state of California convinced me that I need to be careful in monitoring my abilities.
I received a notice in the mail that I would need to go in to the Department of Motor Vehicles office and take both my eye and my written exam in person. Once you reach 70 in the state of California, there is no more automatic renewal and no more doing it remotely. I suppose that with technology that could change again, but the point is that past 70, there would be extra scrutiny on my ability to drive.
I have been driving since the middle of the 1960s and have had a relatively good driving record. In fact, I consider myself a more careful driver than most, and at least average or better in skill level. But it would appear that the state is suspicious of my abilities for no reason other than the number of trips I’ve made around the sun.
This presumption that past 70, someone miraculously becomes an incompetent driver is either a serious case of age discrimination or an indication that that’s the point in the lifespan of a human when we can reasonably expect to have declining abilities. On a recent trip to Texas to visit a somewhat distant relative, I took a look at their driver’s handbook and discovered that they wait until 85 years of age before they require any office license tests. Presumably, either the eyesight or the cognition of people living in Texas is superior to that of people living in California.
In all fairness, I can say my studying to take my California driver’s exam was not wasted effort. It appears that there have been a lot of new driving laws passed since I first got my license in the 1960s. Back then, we didn’t have to study blue zones, entering bike zones before making a right turn, rules for roundabouts, signs on the back of slow-moving vehicles, and most importantly, laws about possession of an open container of marijuana in a passenger vehicle.
While there was a humorous element to this experience, it drove home the principle that, at some point in the future, it may not be safe for me to continue driving. That opened the door to my considering for myself and for other people my age the inevitable process of losing the ability to do things that we had worked so hard should be able to do. Professionals have to ask themselves, will there come a time when they can’t safely and competently practice their profession?
As humans age, we gradually lose certain abilities. Not all of these losses are necessarily either awful or crucial. We do need to make sure that things people have to recognize as their age advances will be declines in at least some areas of functioning.
It is worth noting that just as there are many paths to climb life’s mountain and reach your peak potential, there are just as many ways in which the declines of old age will manifest themselves.
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Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?
Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.
Recently, I began working with a telehealth company called Grow Therapy. If you’d like to make an appointment to work with me, contact them; they can handle the required paperwork and show you my available appointments. The link for making an appointment to talk with me is: David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC.
Life coaching clients must be working toward a specific problem-solving goal. Coaching is not appropriate if you have a diagnosable mental health problem. Also, life coaching is not covered by insurance. If you think life coaching for creativity or other life goals might be right for you, contact me directly.
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