Category Archives: Life Coaching

The Differences between Coaching, Mental Health Counseling, and Therapy

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Counseling and therapy

Therapy, Counseling, or Coaching?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

The Differences between Coaching, Mental Health Counseling, and Therapy.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

There are some significant differences between coaching, counseling, and therapy.

Therapists, along with clinical psychologists and social workers, all need to be licensed and can diagnose mental illnesses. As a result, they can bill insurance when someone has a diagnosable mental or emotional illness. Mental health counselors, or clinical counselors, as they are called in California, fall into this category. There are other types of counselors who may or may not be licensed but who do not diagnose or treat mental illness.

Coaches can have virtually any training or function. There’s a world of difference between coaching an athletic team, coaching a business executive to be more productive, or coaching someone through the process of discovering life’s meaning and purpose. While there are programs for training and credentialing some types of coaches, anyone who wants to describe themselves as a life or self-improvement coach can do so.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am licensed in California as a Marriage and Family Therapist and as a Professional Clinical Counselor. I’ve also completed a training to become a certified life coach.

Most mental illnesses are defined by their symptoms.

The process of diagnosing most mental illnesses involves counting up the number of mental, emotional, or behavioral symptoms the client experiences. There are a few exceptions, but generally, there is no requirement to discover the cause of the illness. Depression, for example, can be endogenous within the person and have no specific cause, or it can be reactive depression in which some particular life circumstance or problem has affected the client excessively.

For a group of symptoms to be defined as a mental illness, it must impair occupational functioning, social functioning, cause subjective distress, or impair another important area of functioning. Deciding if something is an impairment may be the judgment of the treating professional, or it may be because the client defines it as an impairment.

Problems of living aren’t always mental illnesses.

Towards the back of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Of Mental Disorders (DSM-5–TR) or a list of problems that may be affecting someone’s mental health but which are not specifically considered a mental illness. These can include such things as low income, failed school examinations, other housing problem, phase of life problem, problem related to living alone, parent-child relational problems, partner relational problems, and so on. Some people struggle with these problems without developing the symptoms of a serious mental illness, while other people may become severely depressed, anxious, or develop some other mental illness.

Some problems are treated by both therapists and coaches.

Many of these problems of living may be covered by a company’s employee assistance program. People with these issues are referred to licensed practitioners. Marriage and family therapists frequently work with couples or families. There are also frequent “couples relationship boot camps” or marriage encounter seminars conducted by coaches or even volunteers.

Therapists and coaches both use interventions.

Therapists, in their training, develop a theoretical orientation which tells them what they think caused the problem and, therefore, how they should go about correcting it. The corrective part involves using interventions.

A therapist might work on self-esteem issues to help the client with severe major depressive disorder. The coach might work on those very same self-esteem issues to help someone become more assertive at work or better able to conduct work-related trainings or seminars.

Two people might both have low-paid jobs and wish they had better career prospects. One might become seriously depressed and unable to get out of bed to go to work because of their working conditions. As a result, they have developed major depressive disorder.

The other might seek help from a coach to develop a career search strategy to take them to a better-paying job. There is a specialty among mental health counselors called “career counseling,” but many life coaches also spend time focused on developing a plan to help the client to land their ideal job.

The difference is not the intervention but the problem being addressed.

Treatment of mental illness doesn’t mean you will have a happy, productive life.

Mental health professionals often treat a client until the symptoms of depression or anxiety a reduced to the point that they no longer interfere with the client’s jobs, friendships, or keep the client from doing other things they would like to do. Once those symptoms are reduced and the client no longer meets the criteria for the illness, the treating therapist or mental health counselor can no longer bill medical insurance for treatment. There can be some benefits to continuing to work with the client even after symptoms disappear in order to build sufficient skills to prevent a relapse into depression or anxiety. Keeping a client out of the psychiatric hospital can be a legitimate goal of treatment even if the client no longer has enough symptoms to meet the full criterion for a particular mental illness.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Common Challenges Remote Workers Face

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Remote Worker
Source: Unsplash.com | By: Yasmina H. | Rights: Free to use under the Unsplash License

Over 4.3 million people in the U.S. work remotely. While many thrive in the new work-from-home space, some still struggle with the various psychological challenges that present themselves in remote work. These challenges not only inhibit the productivity of workers but also play a key role in the mental and physical well-being of employees. 

Below are some of the most common challenges remote workers face and strategies to help overcome them. 

Overworking Yourself

In 2021, unplugging was the most common challenge faced by remote workers and continues to be the number one challenge in 2022 as well. It can be easy to forget to take a break or overwork yourself when working from home. However, not taking breaks or forgetting to unplug when the work day is over can lead to feelings of fatigue, stress, and burnout. 

Remember, it’s okay to take breaks and allow yourself to reset once in a while. Productive breaks are important during the work day both at home and in the office. It allows you to concentrate better, maintain your energy, stay motivated, and keep you mentally refreshed.

If you struggle with taking breaks, try out the Pomodoro Technique. The method advocates working in chunks and taking often, but brief, breaks throughout the day. This time management strategy can be a great way to encourage breaks, increase focus, and allow you to optimize your productivity without feeling overwhelmed. 

Along with breaks, it’s important to set a hard start and end time or goal each day; so you know when to stop working. When working remotely, it can be easy to stay on the clock even throughout the night. When your work day is over, shut down your computer and silence your work notifications. This will allow you to truly unplug and enjoy your personal time. 

Separating Personal and Professional Life

When you work where you live, it can be hard to separate your personal and professional life. This can increase feelings of anxiety, stress, and frustration. As a remote worker, it’s important to maintain a barrier between work and personal life. 

A great way to separate the two is by having your own dedicated workspace. Create an office separate from where you sleep. It’s important to avoid doing work in your bedroom to help practice sleep therapy, maintain your room’s relaxing nature, and have a physical barrier between your personal and professional life.

To maintain that division, try renting a coworking space or working in a coffee shop. However, if you want to avoid paying fees or having to purchase coffee daily, create your own office space right at home. If you own a home, consider using a home equity loan to construct an optimal covid safe office. This will give you the divide you need while also increasing the value of your home. Constructing an office space is especially advantageous if you have others in your household who work from home, you have kids that need parental supervision, or if you have conditions that don’t allow you to leave your home. Having this space will allow you to create that needed divide, while still being able to enjoy the advantages of working at home. Regardless of what you chose, having a physical separation will clearly define your work and personal life, allowing both to coexist without interfering with each other.

Feeling Isolated

Another major psychological challenge remote workers face is feelings of isolation. It can be easy to forget to leave your house when working remotely. Additionally, not having the typical social interactions from a traditional workplace can make working from home a lonely experience.

To help avoid feelings of loneliness, make an effort to leave your house. Take the time to go for a walk or do an activity outside of your workspace to get your daily dose of sunlight. If possible, take one day a week to work outside your home. This could be as easy as working from your porch or backyard. If you have friends or coworkers in your city, consider meeting up at a coffee shop, public university, or library to do work together. Leaving your home office will help you to feel less isolated, and working with others will help mitigate feelings of loneliness. 

Making Meaningful Connections

Making friends is tough when you enter the workplace, especially when you never got the chance to meet with your coworkers in person. Because of this, it can be difficult for remote workers to feel like they belong and are connected to the company.

In a traditional workspace, conversation happens naturally, but with remote work, it takes a little more effort. Take the extra step to meet your fellow remote workers in a virtual one-on-one to get to know them better and help foster that meaningful connection. Whether it be a casual hello, a shoutout for good work, or starting a conversation, don’t be afraid to speak up in the communication channels you have set up. If allowed, start same-interest group chats, like a music group chat or a movies chat. This will connect you with like-minded people and stimulate fun and more personal conversations.

Along with reaching out to fellow employees, there are also little things that you can do to help create a deeper connection. When possible, have your camera turned on. Seeing a face rather than a still image will create a more personal connection with your teammates. Likewise, participate in video and chat discussions to establish your presence. This will make people more comfortable reaching out to you and allow you to open up to others more. 

Staying Motivated

There are many distractions at home that can make you lose focus and motivation. When working from home, regardless of your position, you become more of your own manager. Since there isn’t anyone watching over your shoulder or coworkers present to keep you motivated, you have to find ways to self-motivate. For some, this may be easy, but for others finding motivation is a difficult task. 

Having a dedicated workspace away from the noise is always a great start. But what’s perhaps more important is having a morning routine. Just like how a nighttime routine gets you ready for bed, a morning routine can give you an energized start to the day and allow you to stay motivated to accomplish your goals. Start your day with food and an energizing beverage. Create daily goals and a schedule to keep you guided while working from home. Rather than working in silence, play music, or, if it’s not too distracting, a podcast. If allowed, put away your phone or have it on do not disturb during the work day. All of this will mitigate common work from home distractions and keep you focused on the task at hand. 

Another way to help you stay motivated is by having virtual study halls with teammates. If you’re the type of person to be motivated by others, hosting virtual study halls is a great way to work alongside your coworkers remotely. As mentioned earlier, remember to take breaks when needed. Try going on a walk to get some fresh air and a clear mind. Energizing breaks like these can be the perfect reset and give you more balance during your work day. 

Reasons to see a counselor before the breakdown.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Counseling questions

Counseling questions.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Reasons to seek out a counselor before the breakdown.

Some people describe the onset of a mental health challenge as a “breakdown.” Breakdown implies that your problem came on suddenly. Most of the time problems develop slowly over time. You get yourself in trouble, not because of a sudden breakdown, but because you pretended you did not have a problem way too long.

You don’t have to wait for your car to break down for you to get it serviced. And you don’t need to wait for your life to fall off the rails before you get a check-up on your emotional life. High-performing athletes have coaches. Top executives often see life coaches, and many writers have writing coaches. While you can see your life, a therapist sees many people and can be helpful in identifying what you may be going through and how other people have solved that problem

Often people who noticed that they are feeling differently, forgetting more things, go to see a medical doctor. Sometimes that forgetfulness is a medical issue, but often it’s just that you have a lot on your mind. Lack of energy might signal an oncoming medical issue, but it can also be a symptom of depression or other emotional disorders. It’s always a good idea to get your physical health checked out first, but if the doctor doesn’t find anything significant, consider seeing a counselor or therapist to see how your emotions might be affecting your physical health.

What kinds of challenges might benefit from seeking counseling or coaching even when you do not think you have any mental illness?

You feel confused a lot.

Confusion is a good reason to look for help. Assuming you have ruled out medical issues like dementia and fatigue, you may be in a situation where you just do not know what you want to do or what the choices are.

People who are under a lot of stress, find that a large part of their mind is occupied trying to cope with that stress. Stress can be good, or it can be bad. If you find that your life is in transition, seeing a counselor can help you get some of that confusion clarified and make sense of what you’re going through.

Choice – You need to choose between A and B.

Most choices are not clear-cut.  If you pick A, it comes with good and bad parts.  The same for alternative B.  Often both choices involved things you would like to have and things you’d like to avoid.  While a counselor can’t tell you which choice to make, they can help you to sort out the good and bad parts of the two alternatives.  Sometimes it helps to have an outside objective party to talk things over with.

Most of us start off by talking to family and friends. Sometimes they can be very helpful. Everyone needs a support system. Unfortunately, family and friends aren’t always objective. If you’re considering taking a job, this may mean, you’ll leave co-workers who have become friends. They may want you to stay, but this may not be the best thing for your career. Decisions about going to school or back to school, often affect others in our lives. They will have their opinions about what they want you to do, but what you may need is help in sorting out what is best for you

Change can be very difficult.

Now, may be a time when your life needs to change. Change happens whether we want it to or not. Sometimes it’s a good thing; sometimes it’s a bad thing, but many times it just is. Everybody experiences times when their life changes.

You grew up, and it became time to leave home and start your life. You look for a job, or a career. Sometimes you need help finding a job, deciding on a career. Once you have that job, it’s easy to get stuck there. There may come a time when you decide you need to make a change.

Some people make the transition from young adult to parent easily. Other people struggle. There will be challenges and changes as your children grow. Some of these challenges can be made easier by seeing a counselor.

Many people find that the biggest changes in life come in the time’s past children. The children grow up and start their own lives. You may be somewhat involved in their lives and the lives of your grandchildren, but eventually, you should let that go to allow your children to become parents. The change to an empty nest is hard for some people. The change from your working years to retirement can also be difficult.

You may be facing a challenge.

When you are faced with a challenge and do not know if you have the abilities needed to reach your goals it may be helpful to talk with the professional. Sometimes what you need is to identify your strengths and your weaknesses especially in the emotional realm.

Counselors can help you learn the skills you need to face this challenge. Often counselors can see your potential even when you have your doubts.

If you’re struggling with your emotions or your life, now might be the time to enlist the services of a counselor or therapist.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

13 Life beliefs that destroy self-confidence.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Self-confidence

Self-Confidence
Believe in yourself.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Are your beliefs about life undermining your self-confidence?

The beliefs you have about things have a powerful impact on what you feel and what happens.  Believe you can’t do some things and the odds are you won’t be able to do them. Most people have a few unhelpful beliefs about life. Those beliefs create the feelings you have when you encounter an obstacle in life. Feelings result in doing or not doing things. The wrong beliefs can destroy your self-confidence and turn a possible success into a dire failure. How many of these self-confidence destroying beliefs are you holding onto?

1. You need to be better than others to be OK.

The belief that others are allowed to make mistakes but you will need to be perfect to be acceptable results in low self-esteem, reduced confidence in your abilities, and ultimately undermines your efforts to do things that could create a better life.

Do you always compare up? Come in second in the Olympics and you could easily compare yourself to the person who is first. That you had to beat hundreds, thousands, of other competitors to reach this level in the first place is something you lose sight of.

2. You need to obsess about what others think and do.

Other people’s opinions, particularly about you, are none of your business. Staying focused on others takes the focus off what you are doing. Concentrate on being the best person you can be. Take your game to the next level and you will find that where others are, does not matter.

3. You need attention to feel good about yourself?

Attention, like popularity, is fleeting. You have it one moment and the next it is gone. People who feel good about themselves work for their own approval not the applause of others. Like what you do and then the applause is a bonus, not the whole salary you will reserve for what you do.

4. Doing things for others means they are taking advantage of you.

If you feel taken advantage of stop doing that. Do good because it feels good to help others. If you do for others expecting their gratitude and thanks you will always end up feeling cheated. Do good because it makes you feel good to do it and no one can’t take that reward away from you.

5. Your accomplishments don’t matter.

Discounting your accomplishments tosses your self-confidence away. When you do something well do you tell yourself and others that it was no big deal? Do you think to yourself you should have done more, done it better and faster? Discounting your own accomplishments always leaves you short on the self-confidence end.

It is OK to accept compliments. Dismissing them devalues the person who has paid you that compliment. Accept compliments graciously and give yourself acknowledgment for things well done. The person you most need to have notice when you have done something well is you.

6. Everyone is your enemy. Do you think people are against you?

The belief that everyone is out to get you is guaranteed to destroy your self-confidence. What you are probably missing is that you are really not that important to others. They are mostly thinking about themselves. The only time’s people are jealous of you or out to get you is when you are way out front doing everything better than they are, or when you step on their toes in the process.  If you do well there will be people who criticize you. If no one says anything bad about you then you probably haven’t done much.

7. Everything you do is deadly serious.

Do you take yourself too seriously? Taking yourself too seriously magnifies your errors and minimizes your successes. Learn to enjoy life. Remember no one gets out of this alive so you can be miserable or you can enjoy the journey. The choice is up to you.

8. You can’t admit you made a mistake.

Accept that you are less than perfect. Trying to pretend that you never make a mistake takes its toll. If you say that you are lying. If you believe you never make a mistake you are lying to yourself. Get honest and accept that you, like everyone else, will miss a few things.

9. You need to control everything to be safe.

Are you trying to control the uncontrollable? Those who believe in God will tell you that you are trying to do God’s job. Some things are in your control and others are not. Not sure about that? Think if you tried harder you should be able to keep everything under control. Try making it rain exactly an inch a day. Did you get it right today? Ever try to teach a cat to bark or a dog to purr? How successful were you at that?

You will not be able to control your children, eventually, they escape. Your partner will resent you trying to control them and it will damage your relationship. Most things in life are out of your control. The only thing you really can control is your attitude as you set out each day to do what is in your control.

10. You shouldn’t have to praise people for just doing what they are supposed to do.

Does it pain you to praise others? If you find it hard to see the good in others, if you can’t praise them for what they have accomplished, then you will find praise for your efforts wanting.

Never tell a child they ever did anything right, point out all their mistakes and eventually, that child will learn to be helpless and will give up trying to please you. Has no one ever praised you? Did you give up somewhere along the way?

11. You expect others to let you down. You avoid working with others.

Expecting others to let you down and not offering them the opportunity creates what you fear. Yes, some people will let you down. They are not perfect. Neither are you. Even when you try your hardest you will let others down some of the time.

Humans are social animals. We need other people.  Let others be who they are and you will get the freedom to do likewise.

Yes, there are people you should avoid and dangerous places. Avoid them if you can and if you can’t exercise caution. But isolating does not result in self-confidence.

12. You don’t think you are any good.

If you don’t like you this is sure to undermine your self-confidence. Work on liking, loving you. Give yourself encouragement. Seek out the things you do well. Get to know yourself. If liking yourself is a challenge, work with a counselor, and try to search for your good points.

13. Without others, you will be lonely.

If when you are alone you feel lonely you have not yet made a friend of yourself. Some people are more introverted. Others are more extroverted. Healthy people, introverts or extroverts, need some time alone and some time with others. Get your life in balance. Learn to enjoy your time alone and your time with others.

The cure for low self-confidence?

Work on these unhelpful beliefs. Learn and practice new helpful beliefs. Do more things and better things and give yourself love and encouragement even if no one else does. Read books on wellness and recovery and positive psychology. Especial look at books based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapies. Work with a counselor, therapist, or life coach. You can change your beliefs, raise your self-confidence, and feel good about yourself.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Why do successful people have coaches?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

coach

Coaching.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

The more successful you are the more likely you will have a coach.

Have you ever noticed that the top contenders have the top coaches on their side? You don’t find very many Olympic athletes who will go it alone. Top business executives look for executive coaches to help them take their game to a higher level. So why are people whose lives are not working so resistant to getting help?

In my counseling practice, I hear repeatedly that, I don’t need to see a counselor, I am not crazy. People who have serious substance use disorders will tell me they do not need rehab, they can quit on their own.

Couples do not have the time and do not think they need to spend time on marriage counseling. Later on, they will spend ten times as much money and time on the divorce but till then they are all convinced they can do it alone. They do not see how counseling could help.

Why is it that a coach or in the emotional realm a counselor can so be helpful? Many of my clients are smart, and some are financially stable. What they can’t do is see their own situation accurately. How do counselors help people if you have already tried everything there is and your life is still not working? Here are some ways that counselors or life coaches can help even before your life comes apart.

You can’t see your own swing.

You may be making the same mistakes over and over. If you do not see the areas of your life that could be improved on you may not work on making those changes that could take your life to a whole other level of happiness until something breaks or crashes and burns.

Humans tend to do the same thing over and over. We develop habits because it saves time and keeps us from having to figure out how to get out of bed each morning. Many of these habits just are. Your parents did it that way. You did it that way once and have been doing it that way ever since.

You may not question those entrenched behaviors. You may not recognize ways you can improve what you have been doing. A professional can help you look for improvement opportunities.

You can’t see what is behind you no matter how you turn.

Sometimes we have things from our past that we think we are over but they keep cropping up. Finds may see this but they will be reluctant to tell you. If you hear bad news too soon, you may think that the other person is jealous. Bad news from a friend can damage the friendship. A counselor has an obligation to tell you.

Sometimes there are patterns in your life. When you tell your life story to someone else that person can see how when you get to a certain situation you give up or make a bad choice. You may be picking bad partners or you may be applying for the wrong kinds of jobs. Getting a second opinion can help you make decisions and plan your future course.

A counselor or coach can give you the straight scoop. You pay them for their ability to give you another point of view. You can take their opinion into consideration or not.

You don’t know what you don’t know.

Identifying those gaps in your life blueprint can help you develop the happy life skills you need. Your parents may have been great, perfect even. But if you are like most students in the school of life you did not get a hundred percent on any of life’s tests. Say you only got an 80%, a coach can point out the places you need to develop.

What if your parents were less than perfect? A whole lot of people came from dysfunctional homes. You may not have learned some life skills because your parents or other caregiver did not know these skills either. Identify the gaps in your life knowledge and work on those gaps.

It can feel uncomfortable to give yourself praise.

Just as we are often blind to our errors we can also fail to identify our strengths. You go farther in any endeavor if you can make the best use possible of your strengths. A good coach can often see that you have a talent for a function you have never considered. More than one famous athlete was switched from a position at which they were average to a new position by a coach who saw they had an unrecognized talent. Making that switch took their game and their life to a much higher level.

It helps to know what is ahead.

You are living this life. You probably have limited knowledge about what will happen in your life and when. Not that every life is predictably the same, but most of us have some common experiences.

I see people who graduate from high school and then go looking for work. The only thing they know about the world of work is the kind of part-time jobs a high school student could get and that is where they start their search.

As you move through life at different points that life will change. You start your career and your family. Your children grow up and your career goes where it goes. Then what? Is your career stuck? Do you know how to keep developing it? What will happen when the kids leave the house?

When you retire your life will change. What will happen when you retire? Some people have a great time. Others find that they don’t have the money to do those things they always wanted to do. They may not be healthy enough to do things in their retirement.

Counselors and coaches study a thing called lifespan development, what most people can expect to have happened, as they follow their life path. We also talk with a lot of people we hear their life stories, common themes emerge. We don’t tell you those other people’s secrets but a counselor can tell you the patterns of life we see.

Getting some Intel on things that may happen to you, what is normal and what is not, may help you have a better life.

Would seeing a counselor or life coach help you in navigating your life? No, you don’t have to be sick to go to see a counselor. You just need to be willing to spend the time that is needed to work on how you are going to live that life.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

How does a counselor help you create a happy life?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Counseling questions

Counseling questions.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

What would a life coach or counselor do to help you?

The traditional way of thinking about things was that you should just automatically be well and happy and that if you were not then you were sick or there was something wrong with you. If you were sick or mentally ill then you went to the doctor and they gave you some pills to make you better.

Over the last hundred years or so, new ways of looking at things have emerged. First, there was talk therapy, the talking cure that involved going to see a counselor, and talking through your issues. Still, this was mostly deficit-based. You were sick and the professional was supposed to know how to fix you. The sicker you were the more you needed to talk about and the longer you needed to talk.

Recently we have seen some new trends emerging. Healthy living can keep you physically healthy and thinking more helpful thoughts might prevent the occurrence of a mental illness or at least make it get better faster. There are things you can do to work on yourself and the counselor, sometimes now a “life coach”, can help you learn how to create that better less stressful life you want.

Yes, we know that there may be some difficulties that are genetic or the result of trauma or injury, but even for those conditions, there are ways you can reduce your stress and help to keep yourself mentally well.

This new emphasis on mental wellness and recovery has gone by several names. Strength-based counseling and positive psychology are two of the prominent ones. WRAP also belongs on that list.

If you were to go to a life coach or counselor that worked from a more strength-based approach how would they go about helping you?  Also, how might you go about preparing to help yourself.

1. Get clear on your values.

A beginning exercise would involve getting clear on your values. Is money important to you? Is family? Which is more important? Lots of people spend time in life pursuing goals only to find out that the things they had to do to get there were not consistent with their values.

There are several good exercises that can help you get clear on your values. You could also spend some time thinking about what is important to you. A good counselor would spend some time with you making sure you know the guiding principles of your life before sending you off on a quest for your happy life.

2. Counselors help you set goals.

Goals are about where you want to go. Values are about how you want to take the trip. Do you want to be wealthy? Why? Are you OK with cheating people to get there or is being honest more important to you than the money?

Now don’t go saying you do not want to be successful you are not all about money. There are lots of other goals that are more important to many people than money. Just if you are working hard to get a good education so you can get a good job so you can make a lot of money is that success if helping the less fortunate was your value?

You could use the money to help others or you might choose to work in a program that paid less but that helped the needy.

Do you want to be a great athlete? Or is a writer more your thing? Maybe being a great father or mother is your priority. No one goal is the “best” in and of itself. Just pick the one that speaks to you and check it against the value yardstick you created in step one.

Most people have several goals and find they need to prioritize them. It takes time to reach goals and you need to be sure you work on the big ones rather than leaving those to a someday that never comes. A good counselor or life coach can help you figure this out.

3. Counselors can help you create a plan to reach goals.

Say your goal was to have more friends. Maybe you are shy and meeting people is hard. The counselor could help you devise a plan to stretch your comfort zone and begin to expand your circle of friends.

4. Counselors can aid you in learning needed skills.

Shy people often lack social or people skills. Rather than saying that this is just the way you are, we used to blame that on your being introverted, your counselor might teach you some social skills and help you create opportunities to practice these skills.

5. A counselor can monitor your progress – hold you accountable.

Having to check in each week and let the counselor know how you did on the homework or practice assignments can motivate you to keep working on your skills. Nothing so keeps you accountable as having to pay that other person each week and knowing you will be largely wasting your money if you pay to go in and tell them you didn’t do the work.

If you find you can’t or don’t want to do the required practice, that is important information for your life change project. Talk this part through and see if it is fear or if the goals are wrong or you picked goals that do not match your values. Some people at this point come to the realization that those goals are not really their goals. They are what their parents wanted for them or what they think they should be working towards.

6. Counselors assist in revising the plan as needed.

When plans do not work or when you breeze through them and decide that goal was too easy, you need to revise your plan. A good counselor can help you keep updating your plans and taking your life game to the next level.

From all these points you can see that none of this is about any diagnosable mental illness. It is about creating a happy life. People with a happy life have way less depression or anxiety and stress, well they just eat that for breakfast.

While this happy life planning may not fit well with staying sick so you can get free therapy, still it can beat the heck out of a not-happy life. Consider investing in and working on a life plan that helps you build the happy, well life you are looking for.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

What is non-medical counseling?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Counseling and therapy

Counseling.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

You do not have a mental illness but counseling may still help.

Do you have problems getting along with a spouse?

Has it been difficult adjusting to a new job or a new town? Kids won’t mind or you are having financial and legal difficulties?

Do you have “anger issues?”

All these things and many more may be reasons to seek counseling, even though you do not have a diagnosable mental illness.

Getting help for these issues early may mean you can live a better life and not have your problems become a mental illness.

There is nothing noble about suffering for long time periods when help is available.

There are a whole slew of life problems that might need working on but they do not rise to the level we would recognize as a mental illness. These issues are listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of Mental Disorders (DSM-5 is a registered trademark of the APA) even though they are not mental disorders.

The idea behind including these issues is that they cause significant distress to clients. These issues bring people into the offices of doctors, therapists, counselors, and even judges, but they are not at this point in time considered a mental illness.

The result of these distinctions is that while you may want or need help in these areas you will need to look for other sources of help than the doctor and probably your issuance will not cover treatment for them.

EAP’s and Non-Medical Counseling.

Many employee assistance plans will offer you a few sessions with a counselor to work on these issues. They find it is cheaper and better to help employees overcome outside work issues than to let them go and then have to hire and train new employees. So if you have an EAP plan look for help there first.

You may have insurance coverage for some Non-medical counseling issues.

A few medical insurance plans or Behavioral insurance plans, to be more precise, also cover these issues. For some problems of living, you can get other help. Most of these problems have such severe impacts on people’s lives they need treating even if your insurance does not cover them. Private therapists and counselors can help here.

About Life Coaches.

Recently we have seen a proliferation of “life coaches” who also can help you work on life issues that need help but are not technically mental illnesses. Some of these coaches have training and can be very helpful, others have minimal training and will miss when you really need to see a trained professional. Until this gets sorted out and there is some kind of licensing for life coaches, I recommend you seek out a licensed person even if what you need is non-medical counseling or coaching. Most professional counselors are happy to work on life coaching issues also.

First some background and then the list of problems.

In the U. S. we have been used to using the DSM (Currently the DSM-5) for mental illnesses. In the rest of the world, they use the International Classification of Diseases. As of October 1, 2015, the U.S. is switching to use the numbering system the rest of the world uses. We also updated the names that we use to more closely align with the rest of the world. The result, the numbers, and names have changed for some things so you will see multiple names and numbers for those things and some things will get split while others got combined. Do not let the professional’s confusion confuse you.

V Codes and Z Codes.

I have sorted this list to make it easier to write about so the list does not exactly follow the DSM. Things called “V codes” are the old number and the “Z codes” are the new ones. Sometimes two problems had or have one number and others have or had no number.  This is not a full list, for that see the DSM-5. I just wanted you to see the flavor of things that might bring someone to counseling which is not technically a mental illness.

Relationship issues

Partner Relational V61.10 Z63.0

Parent-Child V61.12 Z62.820

Sibling Relational VV61.8 Z62.891

Abuse and neglect (victims) V61.12, V61.21, V62.83

Perpetrators of Abuse get a 995 point something number (now a T number)

Other relational problem V62.81

Bereavement V62.82 Z63.4

Discord with neighbor, lodger, or landlord Z59.2

Job – work problems

Occupational problem V62.2 Z56.9

Academic problems V62.3 Z55.9

Adult Antisocial Behavior (Career criminal) V71.01 Z72.811

Legal issues

Financial issues

Incarceration

Life changes

Acculturation V62.4 Z60.3

Phase of life problem V62.89 Z60.0

Situational adjustment – military deployment, moves from job changes

Religious or spiritual problem V62.89 Z65.8

Noncompliance with treatment V15.81 Z91.19 (NOW NON-ADHERENCE)

Housing issues

Homelessness Z59.0

Inadequate housing Z59.1

Problems living in a residential institution Z59.3

Living alone Z60.2

Other things that get treated but may be missing or hard to find in the DSM

Caregiver fatigue or burnout

Military sexual trauma

Military deployment Z56.82

Child care issues

Poverty-related issues

Lack of food and water Z59.4

Extreme poverty Z59.5

Not enough welfare Z59.7

Other unspecified housing or economic problem Z59.9

Physical health issues – the emotional part

Those problems that are poverty-related, school and child-related and involve interactions with the government, may have services available from public agencies. Other issues may justify you seeking private treatment.

Hope that somewhat clarifies all the things that counselors, social workers, and therapists may work with that are not specifically mental illnesses. If you or someone you know has any of these kinds of issues consider looking for help.  Seeking out help for these issues does not mean you are “crazy” or that you have a mental illness. Not using help when it is available, that is more like stubbornness.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Do you have anger issues?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Angry person

Anger.
Picture courtesy of Pixabay.

When should you seek counseling for your anger issues?

Anger and “anger issues” are one of the more common problems that result in people calling my office for a counseling appointment. Having anger building up inside you can harm you. All those excess stress hormones are really hard on your heart and other organs.

But anger, an excess of that stuff, can also damage relationships with family, friends, and those you work with. Untreated anger issues may result in the police being called and you going to jail. Excess anger also results in lost jobs and in divorces.

In extreme cases, too much anger will get you locked up and court-ordered to 26 weeks of anger management classes or 52 weeks of batterer’s treatment classes. Out of control anger can make a mess out of your life.

That must mean that anger is one of the more common and major mental illnesses, right? Wrong.

Despite all the problems an excess of anger can bring it is not recognized as a mental illness. Say what? Yes, you read that right. We think anger, rather than being any one specific mental or emotional illness is a “secondary” emotion. That is you are feeling one thing but you end up expressing this other feeling as anger. When hurt, emotionally or psychically hurt, many of us express this as anger.

Regardless of what is causing your anger or why you are angry, counseling can help you tame that anger beast.

There are several reasons you might need to go for some anger management counseling.

  1. You do not like the person you become when you are angry.

If your anger is bothering you then it is time to see a counselor. This is true of a whole lot of other unpleasant or negative emotions. You do not need to be mentally ill to seek out counseling. If you do things when angry, sad, or anxious you would not do otherwise, that is a bad sign. Just having to live with that anger all the time can make you miserable.

Some of you are thinking that you are in a situation where another person is always “making you angry.” Do not let that stop you from seeking help. You can learn ways to turn the volume down on your anger so you become less angry and angry less often or your counselor may help you with some life coaching to change the situation so that you are not going to get your anger triggered.

  1. Your anger is interfering with your relationships.

Any time an emotional, mental, or behavioral issue interferes with your relationships with family and friends that need attention. This may be an indication of a mental illness or it may just be stress. Either way, you need help for anything that is damaging your relationships.

Humans need other people. Having a good group of supportive people around you improves the quality of your life. Do not let anger drive your friends and family away and leave you unsupported.

  1. Anger is affecting your work or schooling.

If you miss work or get in trouble on the job because of anger or other emotional flare-ups, this means that your feelings are a problem that needs attention.  If you are not working but are in school then we consider going to school and doing your homework your job. Wish I could convince kids who tell me they don’t want to go to school, that school is their job and if they can’t do that one they may need to work on their being homeless skills.

  1. Your anger has interfered with other things you used to like to do.

If you used to play softball or go bowling but because of your anger and fights you got into you can’t go there any more than your anger has been and continues to be a problem. Letting anger or any other emotional issue cut you off from things that make you happy is a bad idea. Life should be more than working and suffering. Try restructuring your life to make it a life worth living.

That is the short list, you may think of other reasons you need to go see a counselor or life coach. Just remember you do not need to wait until your problems become serious mental illnesses before you seek help. Have you put up with anger for longer than you need to? Is it time for you to get some help, learn some skills, to get that anger creature out of your life?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

What is life coaching?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

coach

Coaching.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Life Coaching is an exciting and a scary world.

Life coaching is a new development in the counseling, therapy, helping-person field. There are good life coaches out there, who can be very helpful, but finding who you need to see is the challenge. Let’s hope this post will help explain those issues.

Coaching of all kinds has been around for a very long time. We are all mostly familiar with athletic coaches. Most have been players, grown up around the sport they coach or they have taken formal university classes in how to coach a particular sport. A good coach can prepare you for the Olympic trials or help you take your golf game up to a pro-level. You do not take a weekend seminar online and then coach an NFL team.

Other types of coaches have grown up to meet the needs of particular people for mentoring and development. Executive coaches help executives plan and develop careers. Recovery coaches are often people who have recovered from a particular issue, substance use disorders, or alcoholism. They can help take a recovering person through the journey from the land of addiction to recovery land.

One thing we have found in the recovery field is that being in personal recovery can help make you a better coach or substance abuse counselor, but that by itself is not enough. Those peer coaches need more training and they need supervision. To be a good coach you not only need to know how to do something, play a sport or recover from drug use, you also need to know how to pass that knowledge on to the person you are trying to help.

Why life coaches?

Many of the current life coaches have come from the fields of psychology, especially counseling psychology to be specific, or they are from the fields of mental health, marriage and family therapist, or professional counselors.

Most mental health therapy and counseling are deficit-based. You need to have a mental illness and then we can see you and bill your insurance. But what if you want to be a better person, develop your career, or just plan to more effectively reach your goals? Counseling, in the past, was not set up to help well people, it was set up to treat ill people.

One school of counseling, we call this a “theoretical orientation” is called “solution-focused therapy.” Rather than looking for what makes you sick, these therapists look for the things you do that work and then help you plan to do more of these behaviors.

Recently counselors and psychologists have been looking at things called “strength-based” counseling. What are you good at and how will we help you do more of that. This led to the field of positive psychology which looks at making life better rather than “pathologizing” people so that we only treat sick people.

Thinking in terms of teaching skills to have a better life is scary to those people who are used to thinking that systems of care should only treat the really – really – sick people. The result is that help in having the life you want and in staying well is not something most healthcare systems pay for. You want help in having a good life, they may think, you need to go looking for it yourself.

If you plan ahead then you can get sick, get professional help until your problem gets moderate or mild, and then you are back to being on your own.

Many people would rather plan and develop a good life and avoid being sick in the first place. So they seek out coaches that can help them plan a better life. You do not have to be sick to go for coaching.

Now the secret part of life coaching.

Most, maybe all of what coaches are doing has been done by counselors and some psychologists all along. The difference today is not what we do but who pays for what. The result is new fields of counseling psychology and counselors doing “life coaching.” Marriage and Family Therapists have known this for a long time. Come in when you have mild disagreements and we can help you improve communication. Wait till the divorce is in progress and all we can do is keep you from hurting each other while you negotiate the divorce stuff.

Some problems with “life coaches”

Try a web search on life coaching and you will see a vast array of web pages. All life coaches are far from equal. Many of the web pages for life coaching are adds, take this class; send in a check and you can become a life coach and make big money telling people how to live their life. The truth of life coaching is far from this.

Currently, there is no set curriculum or standards for life coaches, no license and while there are schools teaching life coaching most are private for-profit enterprises and their degrees are untested and unaccredited.

Some life coaches run ads that sound more like they are psychics or “spiritual healers.” Now if that is what you are looking for all well and good. The rub comes in when people go to these “life coaches” and turns out they have a serious mental illness that should have been treated.

My suggestion is that if you want “life coaching” because you want to improve your life and reduce stress, seek out a licensed mental health professional. I must here disclose my biases. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor. Also in supervising trainees and interns who are new to the field, some of what I do is coach them in how to be the best possible therapists and counselors. So, I do all three and that may make me extra skeptical of those who embark on the life coaching business without getting some serious education and training.

The life coaching conclusion.

If you hate your job and are so depressed you can’t go to work, get therapy for your depression. If you don’t know what kind of job you want, see a career counselor. Not sure how to develop and grow your career as you grow older you may need job or life coaching. Same thing for relationships. Can’t get along with your partner see a couple’s counselor. Scared and having trouble dating and finding a partner? You may want to work with a relationship counselor but on some dating coaching.

In future posts, I want to talk to you about strengths-based counseling and how you may find it worthwhile to look for someone who will help you have the best life possible.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Preventing mental illness.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Could you be mentally ill?

What Causes Mental Illness?

Is it possible to prevent mental illness?

There was a time when we, we as in society, thought there were two types of people, the normal ones, and then those others, the mentally ill.  Today we know it is a lot more complicated than that. There are things that can be done by professionals and by consumers that can make the impact of mental illness less difficult.

This tells us there are things that can be done early on before someone becomes sick, which can prevent the development of a mental illness or lessen the severity. People with a healthy physical lifestyle get physically ill less often. People who use certain wellness tools are less likely to be debilitated by a mental illness.

Prevention services can reduce the risk of developing an illness in both the physical and the mental health areas. It is easy to see the need for treating an illness once it develops but harder to get systems to offer treatment to prevent an illness. Some physical health systems offer preventative treatment. Unfortunately, the mental health systems are far behind the physical health systems in this area. If you want help for an emotional problem before it becomes a mental illness you probably need to seek help on your own.

Most of the things we now call a mental illness are the result of stress and trauma, injuries you accumulate in the process of living. Bad things happen to you. Maybe a lot of them and over time those events wear you down. At first, you become sad or discouraged, eventually, this sadness could deepen and reach the point of being an episode of Major Depressive Disorder.

People are exposed to trauma and stress, sometimes this develops into Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), for other people this reaction to the stress of life lingers on as excess anxiety or persistent sadness. Those conditions may be severe enough to get diagnosed and treated by a professional. Lots of people spend major chunks of their life struggling with things the professionals and the insurance companies call “subclinical” cases of emotional issues.

What about people born with a problem, say Schizophrenia, you are asking. Aren’t mental illnesses hereditary things? This continues to be a problematic issue in the mental health field. Two siblings, identical twins, have a family history of schizophrenia, say mom has the disorder. They should both get it to right? Not always. Sometimes one will develop the disease and the other will have much milder symptoms of emotional issues. Why does this happen?

There is a lot of ongoing research in this field. Someday we may have the final answer to this question. Boy if you were a drug company and could develop a med that would keep people from “catching” schizophrenia you could make a lot of money. But for now, what we think is involved is that there are risk factors and protective factors.

If you were one of those twins you would likely be looking to add some of those protective factors to your life.

If you were doing a stressful job, you might go looking for ways to reduce the stress before it became overwhelming and developed a mental or emotional disorder. People who have a life that is less than they would like, they also might be looking for ways to make that life more fulfilling.

Not everyone who has a lot of stress or sadness in their life goes on to develop a severe mental illness. You may be one of those people who can just take a lot of stress and disappointment. Still, the statistics tell us that about half of the U. S. population at some point in their life will develop symptoms that should be treated. Wouldn’t it make sense to take a few doses of a preventative?

Anger management is another area where prevention is better than treatment. You can get help for your anger issues now or wait for the court-ordered 52-week program.

If you are under stress, have disappointments, or just find that you are irritable and angry a lot, maybe you are using alcohol or drugs to cope, what might you do to keep this from escalating? Do you need to run to see a counselor? That might help, getting a professional opinion can get you started on the right track. But here is a list of possibilities.

  1. Learn self-help skills and stress reduction skills

You will find a number of posts here on counselorssoapbox on stress reduction, self-help, and so on. There a lot of other good resources out there.

  1. Develop a personal wellness plan.

WRAP, wellness, and recovery action planning is a good one. There are free materials out there and the books are relatively inexpensive. You do not need to wait to develop a mental illness to create a wellness plan.

  1. Read self-help books.

I especially recommend books based on Cognitive Behavioral therapy. They can create the optimum benefit and in less time than many other therapies. David Burns’s book Feeling Good jumps to mind. There is also a list of recommended books over on the website for my private practice counselorfresno.com

  1. Try some non-medical counseling or life coaching

Many employee assistance plans offer a limited number of sessions, (three, six, maybe twelve sessions), with a counselor or therapist to work on general life issues. This is commonly called non-medical counseling. Stay tuned for a longer post on this topic.

If your child won’t mind, you have excess anger, you are stressed at work, or just not sure about what you want to do with your life, these non-medical counseling sessions can be helpful in clarifying where you are at and what you want to do.

Life coaching is a new and evolving field. There are some warnings about this one. Clients tell me that they want coaching not therapy because they are not “crazy” I tell them I agree they are not “crazy” by which I mean they do not have a diagnosable mental illness. Still, they could use some counseling. For them, it is easier to think of this as coaching.

Most professional counselors and some therapists do this sort of work. Helping you plan the life you want. Seeing them for preventive counseling or coaching is a good idea. A number of people recently are advertising as “life coaches.”  There are no set standards or licenses for coaches in most places. Some are well-trained with degrees in coaching psychology others just took their GED and rented an office expecting to make a lot of money coaching people. If your life coach does not also have a mental health license you need to be extra careful. More on the whole life coaching thing in an upcoming post.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

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