Counselorssoapbox.com reaches 1 million views.

By David Joel Miller.

How things have changed over the last few years.

When I first started writing the counselorssoapbox.com blog I had no idea where it might take me. In early 2011 I heard about blogs and had to ask one of my colleagues what a blog was. That first year just learning how to post and how to insert a picture in my posts was a major task. At that time, I was still trying to master making a call on my flip phone.

My goal in creating counselorssoapbox.com was to share the things I had learned and was learning about mental health, substance use disorders, co-occurring disorders, and having a happy life. In writing the blog, I rediscovered one of my purposes in life. One strength assessment said my primary strength was being an information excavator. I feel most fulfilled when I am learning new things and when I can share what I’ve learned with others.

Over the last 6+ years, the blog has grown from an occasional post to almost 1300 separate posts. Readership grew from one or two readers a day until recently approximately 1000 people per day have been coming to the counselorssoapbox.com site. This month the blog reached another milestone, over 1 million post views.

Thank you, so much, to everyone who reads or subscribes to this blog.

During these years I’ve worked on becoming a better writer. At first, my goal was to write acceptable blog posts and then to perfect those posts to the kind of information people might come back to read on a regular basis. Some of those early posts continue to be read years later.

Along the way, I’ve worked on writing longer nonfiction works. My first completed book is now available for sale in both a Kindle and a paperback edition.

During this journey of learning new things, learning to write effectively, and to share that information, I’ve concluded that some stories I need to tell are so personal and confidential, I can’t tell them without violating clients trust. Because of this, I’ve been working on ways to create fictional stories to illustrate these problems and their solutions.

My first novel, Casino Robbery, featuring a protagonist who is suffering from PTSD was written last year during NaNoWriMo and was one of the winners. When I wrote it, the narrative was a complete work of fiction. Unfortunately, some of the things I wrote about have since come to pass. Casino Robbery is due to be released before the end of 2017.

Below is the announcement for my first book Bumps on the Road of life. There’s also a link to my Amazon author page. New books will appear on my Amazon author page as they become available. I’ve decided that I should share some of my journey in learning how to express myself through writing with others. From time to time I will include some posts on counselorssoapbox.com about the things I’ve learned about writing and the areas I continue to struggle with.

If you have questions or comments about mental health, substance use disorder, having a happy life or about my journey of learning to become a more effective writer, please leave a comment or use the contact me form. I won’t pretend that I have all the answers in any of these areas. What it will promise you is that I will continue to seek the answers and to share with you what I find.

Bumps on the Road of life is now available in Kindle format for preorder. It will be released on 11/13/17. The paperback version is ready now.

Bumps on the Road of Life.

Your cruising along the road of life and then wham, something knocks you in the ditch.

Sometimes you get your life going again quickly. Over time you may stay off track and in

Bumps on the Road of Life.

Bumps on the Road of Life.
By David Joel Miller

the ditch for a considerable time. If you have gone through a divorce, break up or lost a job you may have found your life off track. Professionals call those problems caused by life-altering events “Adjustment Disorders.” Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of Adjustment Disorders, how they get people off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Bumps on the Road of life

Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

More to come as other books are completed.

Thanks to all my readers for all your support.

Want to sign up for my mailing list?

Get the latest updates on my books, due out later this year by signing up for my newsletter. Newsletter subscribers will also be notified about live training opportunities and free or discounted books. Sign up here – Newsletter. I promise not to share your email or to send you spam, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books

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Parenting yourself.

By David Joel Miller.

Learning the lessons, you didn’t get in childhood.

Lessons of childhood

Child learning.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Many adults discover that there are things they should have learned in childhood, that they missed out on. Whether your parents didn’t know, weren’t any good at parenting, or just weren’t as available as you would have like them to be, you may need to go back and fill in those missing lessons. Even people who say they came from wonderful homes may find there are some lessons they should have learned in childhood that they still need to learn.

Below are some of the lessons of parenting you may need to work on to develop yourself. Studying the lessons of parenting helps many people in recovery to fill in the gaps and become the mature person they want to be. Here are some of the things adults should do and not do with children, and that you need to continue to do or not do for yourself in adulthood.

Don’t yell at yourself.

Yelling at children is likely to increase their anxiety. High anxiety can be protective if you live in an uncertain world. Too much anxiety is harmful. Yelling at yourself undermines your self-confidence and destroys your self-esteem. The things you tell yourself come true. Don’t call yourself names, put yourself down, or yell at yourself about the mistakes you have made. Learn to talk to yourself in a supportive, comforting way.

There is little evidence that you can make someone try harder by yelling or criticize them. There is lots of evidence that continued negativity will make people give up trying.

Communicate with yourself.

It’s important to pay attention to your wants and needs. Listen to your feelings and your thoughts. Many people find it helpful to keep a diary or journal. Writing down your thoughts can help to clarify them. If you are afraid of things, pay attention to those fears.

There are no right or wrong ways to feel. Your feelings are a valuable source of information.

Don’t dismiss your thoughts as unimportant. Your opinion on things matters. Especially pay attention to physical sensations. Learning to eat when you’re hungry, drink water when you are thirsty, and sleep when you are tired are important parts of self-care.

Practice patience’s with yourself.

Don’t expect that you should be able to master a new skill the first time you try. Don’t push yourself to do things before you’re ready. Be patient with yourself. Don’t confuse patience with not trying. Encourage yourself. Nurture yourself.

Allow yourself to relax.

Machines that are run too fast, too long, breakdown. You’re not a machine. You will need to give yourself enough relaxation and rest time. You do not need to spend your whole life driving yourself to do more. Giving yourself time to recharge your batteries. Life is a journey, enjoy the trip. There is a reason humans are called human beings. Don’t define yourself as a human doing.

Acknowledge your achievements.

Good bosses know that you can motivate employees by recognizing their efforts. Appreciation can be more motivating than money. Unfortunately, many parents forget to praise their children. People who are told their contributions are valuable are motivated to work harder. People who never receive any praise or acknowledgment eventually give up trying. Learn to accept compliments. Each day watch for the things you have done well and reward yourself for your achievements.

Remember to love yourself.

It’s hard to love other people when you don’t love yourself. Practice each day some self-compassion. Love should be unconditional not something that’s earned or bought. If you grew up in a home where love and affection conditional, based on what you did, work on loving yourself unconditionally.

Remember it’s never too late to learn the lessons of childhood that you will need to be a happy adult.

New Book Bumps on the Road of Life is now available in Kindle format for preorder.

It will be released on 11/13/17. The paperback version should be ready shortly.

Bumps on the Road of Life.

Your cruising along the road of life and then wham, something knocks you in the ditch. Sometimes you get your life going again quickly. Other time you may stay off track and in the ditch for a considerable time. If you have gone through a divorce, break up or lost a job you may have found your life off track. Professionals call those problems caused by life-altering events “Adjustment Disorders.” Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of Adjustment Disorders, how they get people off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Bumps on the Road of life

Amazon Author Page  – David Joel Miller

More to come as other books are completed.

Thanks to all my readers for all your support.

Want to sign up for my mailing list?

Get the latest updates on my books, due out later this year by signing up for my newsletter. Newsletter subscribers will also be notified about live training opportunities and free or discounted books. Sign up here – Newsletter. I promise not to share your email or to send you spam, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books

Book – Bumps on the Road of Life is on Amazon now.

New Book Bumps on the Road of Life is now available in Kindle format for preorder. It will be released on 11/13/17. The paperback version should be ready shortly.

Bumps on the Road of Life.

Your cruising along the road of life and then wham, something knocks you in the ditch. Sometimes you get your life going again quickly. Other time you may stay off track and in the ditch for a considerable time. If you have gone through a divorce, break up or lost a job you may have found your life off track. Professionals call those problems caused by life-altering events “Adjustment Disorders.” Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of Adjustment Disorders, how they get people off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Bumps on the Road of life

Amazon Author Page  – David Joel Miller

More to come as other books are completed.

Thanks to all my readers for all your support.

Guilt.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Guilty

Guilt.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Guilt.

“Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.”

― Voltaire

“We gather our arms full of guilt as though it were precious stuff. It must be that we want it that way.”

― John Steinbeck

“To me, a wicked man who is also eloquent seems the most guilty of them all. He’ll cut your throat as bold as brass because he can dress up murder in handsome words.”

― Euripides, Medea

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Your thoughts are holding you back.

By David Joel Miller.

Negative self-statements.

Negative thoughts

Negative thoughts.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Saying negative things about yourself creates negative results.

People who routinely practice positive affirmations begin to feel better about themselves.

Running yourself down in your own head will destroy self-esteem and hold you back from being the person you could become.

How many of these negative self-statements have you been telling yourself?

I’m stupid.

A natural impulse when you make a mistake is to run yourself down with a categorical statement such as “I am stupid.” Even the smartest people make mistakes. Avoid such global condemnations. One error does not make you stupid. There is no evidence that calling yourself names is effective in improving your performance. In fact, calling yourself stupid is one way of avoiding trying again. Acknowledge your mistakes and consider them improvement opportunities. Tell yourself to work and study harder so that you don’t make the same mistakes over and over.

I’m too young or too old.

One way of avoiding facing challenges is to tell yourself that you have some inherent flaw which prevents you from accomplishing your goal. If you are alive, you’re not too old to live. You’re never too young to start working on yourself. Many people go back to school and retrain for a new career. Plenty of successful business people have started new ventures at a time when they were past the normal retirement age. Younger people may have an advantage at some things, but not others. The goal of life ought to be becoming the best you can be, not requiring yourself to be better than everyone else.

I have bad luck.

Luck changes by the day. Most “luck” is the result of hard work and persistence. When you use bad luck as an excuse to avoid trying, you create your own bad luck. The people with the best luck are the people who tried the most.

People don’t like me.

The belief that control of your life is out your hands and that your happiness depends on others takes you nowhere. What other people think of you should not determine your self-worth. Most of the time the people you think don’t like you are too busy with their own lives to pay you any attention. If there are people in your life who don’t like you, work on repairing those relationships or decide that those people don’t matter.

It’s too hard.

Worthwhile things are often hard. If you want to build up muscles, you must exercise. To accomplish things in your life, you need to take on challenges. If you go through life avoiding the hard things you will cheat yourself out of many accomplishments.

I will look foolish.

Where in the life manual does it say, you should never look foolish? What’s so bad about looking foolish? The persons whose opinion should most matter is yours. The only people who have never looked foolish are those who have done nothing with their lives, which sounds like a foolish way to live.

No one loves me.

Work on fixing this problem. Start by loving yourself. Re-examine your relationships. Get rid of negative, toxic people in your life where possible. Start small and work your way up. Getting a pet, a dog, or a cat can be a good first step in learning to love and accept being loved. Don’t expect too much from love. Love is not about perfection but about accepting the imperfections.

I’m too fat, skinny, tall, short, stupid, smart.

Believing that personal characteristics can prevent you from a successful life is just one more way of making excuses. Work on improving yourself where possible and the things you can’t change, learn to accept them. Rather than using characteristics as excuses for avoiding things, ask yourself what things you could be successful at and pursue those wholeheartedly.

I’ve been hurt too much.

Part of life is getting hurt. Don’t give up your future by looking back over your shoulder at the past. Put some effort into healing from the hurt. Learn from your life experiences; they have made you who you are. If you look back on your life, the you of today is probably quite different from the you of past years. Don’t let who you are or what you been through prevents you from becoming the who you should be.

I won’t be able to.

This statement is one of the worst of self-fulfilling prophecies. If you tell yourself you can’t, what you’re saying is, I don’t want to. Tell yourself you can, and you will accomplish a great many things that you and others might have thought impossible. You will never know what might’ve been possible if you talk yourself out of trying.

Stop preventing the life you should have by using negative self-statements.

New Book Bumps on the Road of Life is now available in Kindle format for preorder. It will be released on 11/13/17. The paperback version is ready now.

Bumps on the Road of Life.

Your cruising along the road of life and then wham, something knocks you in the ditch.

Sometimes you get your life going again quickly. Other times you may stay off track and

Bumps on the Road of Life.

Bumps on the Road of Life.
By David Joel Miller

in the ditch for a considerable time. If you have gone through a divorce, break up or lost a job you may have found your life off track. Professionals call those problems caused by life-altering events “Adjustment Disorders.” Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of Adjustment Disorders, how they get people off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Bumps on the Road of life

Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

More to come as other books are completed.

Thanks to all my readers for all your support.

Want to sign up for my mailing list?

Get the latest updates on my books, due out later this year by signing up for my newsletter. Newsletter subscribers will also be notified about live training opportunities and free or discounted books. Sign up here – Newsletter. I promise not to share your email or to send you spam, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books

Faithful.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Faithful dog

Faithful.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Faithful.

“Be faithful in small things because it is in them your strength lies.”

― Mother Teresa

“Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

“Faith consists in believing what reason cannot.”

― Voltaire, The Works: Voltaire

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

What is an E.A.P.?

By David Joel Miller.

E. A. P. stands for employee assistance program.

Man questioning

E.A.P. Sometimes you need a little help.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Many companies have a series of services available to their employees to help with outside of work issues. These out of work problems can affect an employee’s performance at work. Employees with legal problems, tax problems, or emotional and relational problems may have difficulty functioning effectively at work.

Companies may offer their employees the opportunity to consult with a professional about personal issues. The option to use an E.A.P. is often part of the employee’s benefits package. There are outside companies who contract with employers to provide E.A.P. services. The E.A.P. provider then contracts with lawyers, accountants, and counselors and therapists. Some medical insurance companies also offer E.A.P. programs.

E.A.P.’s and therapy.

One important E.A.P. service is counseling or therapy. Plans vary widely in how much counseling and what kinds of counseling are covered. These plans are not meant to replace medical insurance for long-term and serious mental illnesses. What the E.A.P plan does cover is a small number of sessions with a counselor or therapist to help people deal with the problems of life.

How E.A.P. counseling works.

An employee at a company with an E.A.P. plan decides they have a problem they need to talk about, but they may not want to talk to their supervisor about this issue. They call their companies E.A.P. provider. This company has been contracted in advance to provide services for all the companies employees. The E.A.P. company may provide the service themselves, but more commonly when it comes to emotional issues, they will refer that employee to a counselor who can provide the needed service.

Generally, the E.A.P. Company authorizes a set number of sessions of counseling. E.A.P. counseling is meant to be brief in nature. Depending on the employer’s plan, three, six, or even 12 free sessions of counseling are provided. The details of what the client talks about are not reported to the company they work for. Once the counselor sees the client, they bill the E.A.P. company for the session.

What kind of problems does E.A.P. counseling cover?

Relationship issues, with either partners, children, or parents are frequent topics of E.A.P. counseling. Other common E.A.P. counseling topics include drinking and substance use problems, educational issues, moves, deaths in the family and other grief and loss challenges.

What problems are generally not included in E.A.P. counseling?

E.A.P. counseling is designed to be brief and covers a limited number of sessions. It is sometimes described as “non-medical counseling.” Most plans exclude serious and persistent mental illness. If the client receives a mental health diagnosis, they will be referred to a therapist on the client’s medical insurance panel.

Does brief E.A.P. counseling work?

Counselors who work with E.A.P.’s do a lot of brief counseling interventions. These can be highly effective in helping people through an immediate crisis. In my private practice, I do a lot of brief E.A.P. type work. I find it very rewarding to be able to help people reduce their problems and improve the quality of their life.

If you work somewhere that has an E.A.P. plan and you have been struggling with an emotional challenge, consider using your E.A.P. to help you through the struggles you are facing.

New Book Bumps on the Road of Life is now available in Kindle format for preorder. It will be released on 11/13/17. The paperback version is ready now.

Bumps on the Road of Life.

Your cruising along the road of life and then wham, something knocks you in the ditch.

Sometimes you get your life going again quickly. Other times you may stay off track and

Bumps on the Road of Life.

Bumps on the Road of Life.
By David Joel Miller

in the ditch for a considerable time. If you have gone through a divorce, break up or lost a job you may have found your life off track. Professionals call those problems caused by life-altering events “Adjustment Disorders.” Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of Adjustment Disorders, how they get people off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Bumps on the Road of life

Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

More to come as other books are completed.

Thanks to all my readers for all your support.

Want to sign up for my mailing list?

Get the latest updates on my books, due out later this year by signing up for my newsletter. Newsletter subscribers will also be notified about live training opportunities and free or discounted books. Sign up here – Newsletter. I promise not to share your email or to send you spam, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings, and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books