By David Joel Miller.
The stories you tell yourself come true.
We all tell ourselves stories. You may not think of them that way, you may have other names for them. You may think that what you are saying is just self-evident truths. You are shy, clumsy stupid and so on. You may say your family is cold or that you are all failures.
The things you tell yourself have a way of coming true. If you tell yourself often enough that you are stupid or that you can’t succeed you create that outcome.
Some people think of these stories as life scripts. If you tell yourself you are a loser, you will continue to lose to meet that requirement.
You tell yourself you are a certain kind of person and that means you will have a specific sort of life. You say you are unlucky and you avoid situations that involve risk. The result is that those great wins in life are always just out of reach.
Which kind of stories do you tell yourself?
If you tell yourself you can’t do something your brain will take that for an order and will prevent you from doing what you have forbidden yourself to do. Like that little engine if you tell yourself you can you will find it easier to get over the hill.
Many of you have pet stories you tell yourself. You tell yourself you are too stupid or too weak to do something and then you find you can’t do it which proves that you were right. The great surprise, for many of you, will come when you stop telling yourself that you are stupid and tell yourself that you can learn what you set out to do, and then that new story becomes true.
If you tell yourself that life is awful and that you can’t, then you won’t. If you can change that story and tell yourself that all things are possible, then more opportunities will open up.
Changing your life script story.
Some people have told themselves that they are addicts and so they need to use drugs. If you tell yourself that you are an alcoholic you will need to drink. But you can change that story. You can be an addict in recovery or an alcoholic in sobriety. You can tell yourself that you no longer need to do those things and if you tell yourself that you can live life without drugs or depression or anxiety, then that can become the new story, the new life script for you.
We all tell ourselves stories, who we are, what we can and can’t do. Make one mistake and you may tell yourself you are a failure. Forget something once and you may start telling yourself you are forgetful. The truth is that you do not forget everything and you can change that story.
The person who told you that story could easily be wrong.
Some of these life tales are stories that we were told as children. We hear that we are stupid and we repeat that story. If you heard these stories often enough you may have stopped recognizing that this is just a story, someone else’s story for your life.
If you have learned to tell those stories to yourself, you will find that you can change the endings. You can be and do so much more than you ever thought your could.
What is the new story, the new life script you are creating for the role you will play in your life?
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For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings, and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books
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