By David Joel Miller
What tools would help you reach your goal?
Ask someone what they need to reach their perfect, happy life goal and there is a good chance they will talk about one of those rare events like winning the lottery or marrying a movie star. In real life reaching goals are less a matter of luck and more the result of using the right tools and applying the necessary effort.
What are tools that can move you in the direction of accomplishing your life goals?
1. Have the right friends.
Sometimes described as having an effective support system, positive friends can make a lot of difference. Your success is not something friends can do for you, but having the wrong friends can sure get in the way of any life achievement goal.
Hang out with winners and you begin to emulate their behaviors. The result is that you start acting like a success and the behaviors you practice result in reaching more of your life goals.
Avoid people who you have to “live down to.” If your successes challenge your friendships, those are not real friends. They are acquaintances. Real friends want the best for you.
2. Read a book.
There are lots of self-help and personal success books. Some better than others. No one book is the right fit for everyone. Read widely and be on the lookout for the things you need to learn.
Very successful people often take ideas from one field and apply them to another. Learn all you can, it will make you a well-rounded person.
Especially read books that will make you a better person. Work on healing from your painful past experiences and growing as a person.
3. Work with a coach.
A coach or a mentor is someone who can see the things in you that you may not be able to see. Practice the things you do well. Work on improving the things you do poorly. Doing the same thing over and over, when it is not working is unlikely to get you where you want to go.
A good coach or mentor can help you decide what to practice and improve and what to change.
4. Take a class.
We are never too old or too knowledgeable to take a class or attend a training. Learning is a lifelong adventure. Learn not just for the necessities on your job but look for the ways you can expand your competencies in new areas.
Classes and trainings are great places to meet new people and make new friends.
5. Reexamine what is not working.
Do not give up just before the successes happens. If more practice or learning new skills will get you there then keep up the work.
Sometimes it pays to take a second look with a dose of reality. If you are attempting something that can’t work, that depends more on luck and less on effort, eventually, you may need to give it up.
Do not look at the things in your life that do not meet expectations as failures. Look for the lesson you needed to learn. One setback does not equal a failed life. The winners find the things they need to change and then move forward.
6. See a Counselor or Therapist.
Seeing a Therapist does not mean that there is something wrong with you. Everyone has rough patches along the road of life. A good counselor can help you see which things you are going through are a normal part of the life span and which are the times you need to work on yourself.
Smart people know when to ask for help and how to make use of that help to sharpen their goals and their efforts.
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Add these tools and others to your life skills toolbox and see where they might take you.For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings, and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended books.