By David Joel Miller
Top ten life mistakes to avoid.
When you are rushing through life there are things that look important and things that look like you can put them off. Eventually you need to stop and take another look at your life. Avoid these life mistakes if you can. If you have already made some of these change and do better. There is no time like the present to improve your life in these areas.
1. Do not live your life for someone else.
A well lived life is lived by doing the things that you want to do. There is nothing wrong with a life of service, service to God or to your fellow-man. Just make sure you are doing this because it brings you joy.
Do not waste time being and doing what a parent, friend or partner wanted from life unless that is truly what you wanted also. Live in a way that leaves few or no regrets.
2. Don’t put your dreams on hold till someday.
Someday never comes. It is always today. Live each day the best you can. Do not delude yourself that someday you will do this or that. Enjoy the trip from here to there. If you live your life off in someday you will miss out on today.
Keep working towards realizing your dreams. Small steps taken one after another keep you moving in the right direction.
3. Never rush into relationships.
Do not think that you need to settle for someone who will accept your love. Look for someone you can love who will love you back over the long haul. Do not settle for Mr. or Miss Good enough.
Take your time getting to know people. Invest your time in positive relationships. Some people will be friends for the moment and some will be friends though the ups and downs of life.
4. Do not rushing out of relationships.
Do not believe that the problems in a relationship are faults that always are caused by the other person. Change partners and you change problems. Every friend comes with defects of character. Think carefully about which of the problems in the relationship are because of things about the other person you can’t accept. Which of your relationship problems are about you?
Hang in there and work on your ability to create a good relationship until you become totally convinced that there is no way to make this relationship work.
5. Stop thinking that things equal happiness.
Twenty years from now your children will remember the things you did together more than the things you paid for. Buying more things fills up your trashcan not your happiness.
More things does not equal more happiness. Take a miserable person and give them a lot of things and as soon as the novelty of the new things wears off you will have a miserable person with a lot of used miserable things.
6. Avoid using drugs and alcohol to change the way you feel.
Medications can heal. Medication can help you to live a healthy life if you take them for the right reasons and precisely as prescribed by a good doctor. Street drugs change the way you feel in another way. You take them and you temporarily feel better or more likely you feel less.
Eventually the drugs stop working. You need more and more to feel just normal and the happy feeling you were chasing moves farther and farther away.
If you become dependent on using a drug to feel happy that feeling will require more and more drugs. We call this illusion – addiction.
7. Not saving enough is a mistake.
It is easy to say that you do not have enough income to save. The more you make the more your expenses. In the beginning you are too poor not to save. Save a nickel or a dime and eventually those coins will be dollars.
Especially save so that the wolf will stay away from the door. Most people spend when they have it and then go without when they are broke. Having a few dollars set aside will reduce a lot of emergencies to manageable problems.
8. Not spending enough time with your family and friends.
The currency of friendships is time and shared interests. Do things and spend time with those you want to keep close in life.
9. Not investing in yourself.
Don’t believe that you can’t afford the time or money for education. Learning the hard way is more expensive. A person with an education earns more over their lifetime than someone who did not invest in self-development.
Not all education comes in classrooms. Read things that will help you improve your game. Talk with people who know how to do the things you aspire to do. Allays be curious and make lifetime learning part of your life.
10. Not developing more friendships.
Friendships and family are the support systems that help you get through rough times. Do not make the mistake of believing you can do everything alone. Growing friendships requires that you plant a lot of seeds, invest time in nurturing them and weed out the ones that are holding you back.
Make cultivating your friendship garden a priority.
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For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books
Try to avoid those top ten life mistakes.