By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Are you making your own drama?
Do you find yourself saying that there is way too much drama in your life? Feel like you live in a soap opera? There are ways you can turn the drama down even if you live in a drama-filled environment. There are also ways you may be the architect of your own drama.
Here are some ways you may be the creator of your own life soap opera.
You stick your nose in other people’s business.
Do you spend a lot of time telling others what they should and should not do? Any surprise that they are paying you back? If you want to avoid drama in your life, avoid interfering in other’s lives. You may think that your family member or friend is making wrong choices but if you get involved in the choices you also get involved in the drama.
Live your life and let them live theirs. People who keep poking around in others’ lives become a part of that other person’s drama. Want less drama in your life? Focus your attention on your life and let others live theirs.
Doing too much creates drama.
If you say you will do something do it! Making commitments and then backing out is a sure way to increase the drama in your life.
The things you committed to are the things others expect of you. Promise too much and do not deliver and you invite other people to be angry with you.
When you run from one thing to another you risk being perpetually late and not meeting your commitments. You also start to feel overwhelmed. All of this creates extra drama. Want a relaxed world? Reduce the things you do every day. Give yourself breaks between things.
Reducing the “must’s” and the “should’s” reduces drama.
Those rules you set for yourself become cruel taskmasters. Let go of all those “Musts” and “Should’s” and just relax and enjoy the ride. Some things, like right and wrong and moral values, are major big things and yes you should expect yourself to live up to those things. But if your list of things you have to do to be an OK person gets too long you are creating a drama-filled life.
Let the little things go.
Telling the truth reduces drama.
Some people lie to get away with things. Others lie because they do not want to disappoint people. The more you mislead others, regardless of the reasons, the more you invite their anger or hurt when they find you out. Tell the truth when possible and if it is not possible, try saying little or nothing.
Being dishonest with others is a huge drama maker.
You do not need to answer every social media post.
Lots of people post lots of trivial stuff online. Do not get sucked into answering every post you see. Ignore the comments that do not make your life better. Use social media to connect with friends and have fun but beware the trolls.
Some people say things just to start an argument. Some comments are hurtful. If you disagree you do not need to argue with every person out there. Read things carefully. Plenty of drama-filled exchanges begins when one person misunderstands what another is saying and then begins to argue with a statement that was never made.
You do not need to become a part of the thought police.
Let others be wrong some of the time.
You do not need to correct everyone’s errors. Allow others to be wrong some of the time. Pointing out other’s mistakes invites them to retaliate and point out your flaws. Finger-pointing can consume all your time and is a huge drama machine.
Feel better about yourself and finding other’s mistakes becomes less important. Humans make mistakes, some by accident and some intentionally. You will make errors in tour life, let others have the same privilege.
Stay out of the gossip to reduce the drama.
Sharing about other people is tempting. Spreading that gossip “Have you heard what SHE did?” sucks you into the gossip vortex. Once you start going round and round that circle the drama accelerates.
For less drama stop trying to change others.
Most efforts to change others is doomed to failure. The more you try to manipulate others and get them to live the way you want them to the more drama you create. For people you can’t agree with the best option may be to cut them out of your life. If you can’t do that, some family members may refuse to go away, you can reduce your contact with people who are not good for your mental health.
Trying to make others change to suit you invites them to push back. All that pushing and pulling is the stuff that drama is made of. Live your life and extend that same privilege to others.
Let sick people be sick. It is not about you.
Some people are just mean. Some are thoughtless or rude. Do not get into conflicts with people who are not capable of being any different than they are. It is not your job to change them and the more you insist that they be other than they are the more drama you create.
Do not upset yourself when other people are imperfect. You may need to set a boundary. You may even need to call the police. But do not get sucked into a long-term feud with people whose lifestyle or behavior does not suit you.
Are you ready to make the move from a drama-filled life to a happy life?
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
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