Overcoming your fears.


By David Joel Miller.

Ways to keep fear from controlling you.

Anxiety and Fear

Anxiety and Fear
Jimee, Jackie, Tom & Asha

Don’t let your fears hold you back. Fear is a hard friend to have. It tells you to play it safe and not try or you might fail. Fear and its cousin’s, anxiety and worry, can rob you of the meaningful life you were meant to have.

If fear has been your all too frequent companion and is keeping you from creating the happy life you would like to have here are some tips for quieting those troublesome fears. Tell yourself these fear busting principles and see what other possibilities open up in your life.

Most of the things you are afraid of will never happen.

Many of the everyday fears you commonly have are very unlikely to happen. People who spend a lot of time entertaining fear and anxiety, continually expand the list of things that they worry about. Most of those things have a low probability of ever happening. For a maximally happy, productive life spend your time on the things that you have control over not the uncontrollable events that are unlikely to happen.

The things that happen in my house are far more important to my well-being than the things happening half a world away. Yes, care about others and do what you can to make the world a better place, but know your worry will not accomplish great things.

Shift your focus from what awful things might happen that you can worry about to the things you have control over, and if you are like me you will find that most of life is outside your control.

Many fears are irrational. Because it scares you does not mean it is dangerous.

Remember the cat that was scared of its own shadow? Many scary things in life turn out to be far less awful than we think they will be. Just because something scares you does not mean it is dangerous.

Motion dissolves the paralysis of fear.

Walk towards that hissing monster of fear and what you will find is your courage. Courage will tell you that fears shrink as you take action. It is common to be afraid of things that are different. Don’t let fear tell you that something is scary only because you have never tried it.

It may be hard, but you can get through it.

Courage is not lack of fear it is doing the scary stuff anyway. Great things can happen when you do something worthwhile despite the fear. If you say you can’t do something you are creating it being so. Continue to tell yourself you can get through it and you will. Once you have tackled a scary situation and overcome, it becomes less daunting from then on.

The fears you beat make you stronger.

Unconfronted fears grow and take over your life. Confront your fear and conquer it and it will not return to haunt you. Each thing you try and endure will make you a stronger more purposeful person. Strength comes from successfully overcoming life’s obstacles and learning in the process.

Many of the things you avoid you can do just fine.

Often times people let their fear of things they have never done keep them from trying something new. Many of the things you are afraid of trying for fear of failing will, in fact, turn out just fine. You do not need to be perfect at things to enjoy new experiences.

You may have hidden talents and unknown strengths just waiting to be discovered. Try something new and see if you can’t surprise yourself by discovering a new ability.

The best way to beat fear is to do more stuff.

The wider your experiences the more life skills you will develop. Seeing how others do things gives you options for your own life. Be a keen observer of the novel. Try more things and you will discover that you have many underdeveloped talents. You will never find your greatness if you never attempt new things.

It is absolutely OK to fail some of the time.

Failure in many people’s minds is as simple as aiming for a target and missing it. Better to have made the effort and had the experience than to let fear keep you out of the game altogether.

Recognize your successes. Enjoy the applause and accept the compliments.

Many people hold onto the things that they are less than perfect at but ignore their successes. Learn to recognize and build on the things you do well. Accept the compliments, give yourself a round of applause for things well done and build on those accomplishments.

Fear is a robber who takes the life you should have had.

Live your life. You are the only one who can. In a few short years, we are all gone and no one will remember the things you didn’t do. Your bloopers can get you on a T. V. show but the things you didn’t do? No one will notice them.

Do not let your fears and anxiety keep you from taking the chances on which a joyful life is constructed. How have you overcome a fear? How will you get the upper hand on those anxieties of yours?

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For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books

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