By David Joel Miller.
Should you make showing up late a habit?
Are you tired of being on time while others are often late? Wouldn’t you just love to be the one who walks in at the last moment, makes a grand entrance, and commands everyone else’s attention? If you’re one of those people who has wasted countless hours being on time or worse yet are always arriving early, so you are not the one disrupting things by arriving late, wouldn’t you be better off developing a habit of always arriving late? Here are some simple tips to make sure you’re always the last to arrive.
Always leave later than you think you should.
Wait to start getting ready until the last-minute. Don’t include time for getting ready and travel in your plans. Leaving before the last moment is a total waste of time. Your time is absolutely more valuable than anyone else’s. If your appointment in is at three, there is clearly no point in starting to get ready before 3. Why should you have to wait if someone else is late? By always waiting to get ready until the last-minute, you can guarantee that you will not have to wait on anyone else. Your valuable time is better-spent binge-watching TV or posting on social media.
Allow less time to get there then you think it will take.
Punctual people estimate the drive will take 20 minutes, so they leave half an hour before the scheduled appointment. This process wastes valuable time you could use for your purposes. Make the most of every minute, leave 10 minutes before your meeting and drive as fast as possible to try to “make up for lost time.” Plan your schedule for ideal situations. It’s not your fault if you hit red lights or there’s traffic on the road.
Schedule more places to go each day than you can possibly reach.
If most of your appointments take an hour, schedule them 30 minutes apart. You know you can do eight things a day, so schedule 10 or 12. The places you don’t get to must not have been that important anyway. Better other people should wait for you that you should have to wait on anybody. If you don’t get to all the places you scheduled, it’s not your fault. You planned to do it, didn’t you?
Avoid creating schedules or writing anything down.
Creating schedules will just interfere with your spontaneity. Writing things down is restraining. If you make two appointments at the same time, don’t worry about it, show up to the appointment you feel like going to. Go to the other one some other time. You are important, right? As busy as you are, people will need to learn to make time for you when you get there.
Try to do everything in half the time others take.
Allow yourself half the required time for everything. Working at double or even triple speed will ensure that you have high productivity. So, what if you make a few additional mistakes? Accuracy is highly overrated. As busy and important as you are, people will simply have to accept that your way of doing things is the half-hearted fast way. People who don’t understand this need to learn to do it themselves.
Practice your excuses for being late.
Always have someone or something you can blame for your tardiness. It is not your fault. Blame whatever happens on the weather, your spouse, your kids or your dog. Complain loudly about how hard it was to find this place and how you never come to this part of town.
Do your best to make people who have been waiting on you feel sorry for you. Encourage them all to take part of the blame.
Use your late arrival to prove how important you are.
When you come in at the last-minute, preferably after the event has already started, push your way past everyone to get to the front. Try to find a seat in front of others. As much as possible, complain loudly about how tough your day has been. Hold your head and moan about how unlucky you are. Use this late arrival is an opportunity to get people to feel sorry for you and to gather up the attention you deserve.
If after reading all these recommendations for planning on being late you still insist on being punctual and on time you might want to read this post on punctuality.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Two David Joel Miller Books are available now!
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Casino Robbery is a novel about a man with PTSD who must cope with his symptoms to solve a mystery and create a new life.
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For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse, and Co-occurring disorders see my Facebook author’s page, davidjoelmillerwriter. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com.