Giving in to peer pressure

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.


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Why do we tell kids to resist peer pressure?

People who are really good at resisting peer pressure end up in places like jail, prison, and mental hospitals. They become rapists, murderers, and people no one wants to be around. So why do we keep talking about teaching kids to resist peer pressure?

Humans are social animals. We look around and see what other people are doing and we copy them. That’s what we are supposed to do. That’s how society and cultures hold together. We hope kids will get a job and work and raise a family just like everyone else. That is what peers are doing. So why do we keep telling them to resist peer pressure?

We should be telling kids to give in to peers, that’s what we all know they will do sooner or later.

There is an oft-repeated saying – “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” It is truer than we realize. Rather than spending our time, or should I say wasting it, on teaching kids to resist peer pressure, we should be encouraging them to pick good peers. Hang out with the winners and you become a winner – spend all your time with the losers and you – well you get the idea.

If you hang out in a barbershop you will get a haircut. If you hang out in a crack house you will smoke crack and if you spend time in a bar you will drink. So why are we surprised when kids hand out with “stoners” and get stoned? And why at that point do we go on a crash course in trying to teach them to resist peer pressure?

Waiting till your teen is a stoner to talk about peers is like heading out across Death Valley, on foot, without water, and then complaining about your thrust. You just now thought of that?

So what should a parent do? Start young. Know your children’s friends. Spend time with them and with their parents when possible. Encourage your child to do positive things. Think you’re too busy for that? Well, you probably won’t be too busy for their court date or worse.

Anything a parent can do to encourage their kid to be involved in something positive is like an immunization against problems later on.

This isn’t just true for our children. It is something we should be practicing ourselves.

What are your thoughts on peers, peer pressure, and the impact it has had on you and yours?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

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1 thought on “Giving in to peer pressure

  1. Pingback: Does your family know right from wrong? Moral Reasoning | counselorssoapbox

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