Finding your Quest – what life challenge will define you?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.


Photo courtesy of

Have you found your life’s purpose?

It is my view that each and every person has a reason for being – beyond that night their parents spent together. Some of us find our purpose easily and the rest of our life leads in that direction. For others of us, we can’t see that purpose till late in life after we have accumulated a vast collection of experiences.

We are all the heroes of our own lives.

Every great epic story involves a hero and a quest. In the heroic drama, there is a customary sequence of events that sets up the required quest. Good fiction writers know this and give you plenty of quest elements to make their stories interesting. When I write fiction I try to incorporate those elements. In my counseling practice I find that clients have been on personal quests, searches for life’s meaning, that rival any I think up for a work of fiction.

The epic begins with the hero being asked to undertake some great and meaningful task. They are thinking of doing something to save mankind or prevent a great global disaster.  Interview a group of first-graders and ask them what they plan to be when they grow up and you will get a list of those professions that try to make a difference. Somewhere along the line, we decide not to embark on that quest.

In the hero story, the protagonist usually says no. I don’t want to devote my life to helping the homeless or some other noble undertaking. Here the hero goes off on his own and tries to have a lot of fun. Sound familiar. We may suspect we have some special purpose but no, we decide to live our lives for ourselves and let others worry about the homeless and world peace.

Now in the hero story, the main guy finds he can’t escape his destiny no matter how hard he tries. The war comes to his town, the shelling destroys his home and now he is one of those homeless refugees of war. He has to do something to end homelessness and war if only to save himself. Maybe in the process, he puts on a white helmet and tries to save a few children.

Notice that most people in the helping professions have had to overcome some issues, in themselves or their families, the quest to improve their world was thrust on them whether they wanted it or not.

Counselors in substance abuse facilities have historically been people in recovery from alcoholism or addiction. They have to save others to save themselves. I have also seen people who grew up without parents who were moved from caregiver to caregiver, who made it their life work to be super parents or to work with other parentless children.

So in this epic we call our lives we may get distracted, sometimes for years, but eventually, we need to face the task of finding a purpose for our lives. We embark on this quest or we waste away never knowing that our life could have had a purpose and a meaning.

We may stumble along in life, endure pain, and suffer a little. Hopefully, learn that the pain may be a requirement but the suffering is optional. Eventually, we find our life purpose. Right?

Wish it were that easy.

The way this heroic quest plot plays out in the movie theater or the novel is a lot easier to see than in our own lives.

In the novel version, once the hero sets off there are all kinds of obstacles put in his way. He may encounter dragons and demons and all sorts of stuff. He will be arrested and thrown in a dungeon and then have to find the magic key that sets him free.

A writer’s expression that fits with this scene is “when the hero reaches for the key, cut off his hand.” This sounds cruel I know, but in the giant epic, there is never a point where the hero knows things are getting better. Not till he gets to the end and looks back.

So what does this have to do with our personal recovery? Sometimes recovery is not pretty. This is a real-life and bad things can keep happening even when you are trying to do the right thing. The thing that will give your life real meaning, will make your quest worth undertaking, is to find that thing that says to you it needs doing no matter what it takes.

If you can find that quest, your life will have meaning no matter how hard the struggles.

Are you willing to undertake a great heroic quest to become the best person you can be?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

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3 thoughts on “Finding your Quest – what life challenge will define you?

  1. Pingback: Taking stock of yourself. Posts about self-discovery | counselorssoapbox

  2. Reblogged this on depressionexists and commented:
    I realize I’ve just re-blogged Davids last post…but this is worth reading as well. I think sometimes we get scared to go on that quest!
    But imagine how brave we would be to check it out! 🙂
    Night from Oz everyone!! Hugs Paula xx


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