11 signs you crossed the addiction line. Is it partying, drinking and using or addiction?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.


No Drugs.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

How do you know when your drug or alcohol use has become a problem?

Some people report that they can drink a few drinks now and then and they have no problem. There are those rare individuals who are able to try a drug a few times and then put it away with no apparent bad result. But many people discover that what started out as all fun has progressed to becoming a problem. Here are 11 signs that your partying has moved from being fun to being a problem, maybe even an addiction.

1. You are trying to control your use.

One of the first signs of an addiction gone wild are the efforts to control use. Normal people, people without a problem, do not try to control their use. They do not need to control anything because they can take it or leave it. If you find that when you drink or use you end up doing more than you planned on doing if you start needing to control your usage, then you are on your way to a problem.

2. You arrange your life around chances to drink or use.

People with an abuse problem begin to arrange their life around getting and having their drug of choice. They pick restaurants based on the bar, not the food. They avoid social settings where there will be no drugs or alcohol or they will not be able to drink and use.

They also begin giving up friends who do not use or drink.

3. It takes more of the drug or alcohol to get the same high.

This is called tolerance. If you need to drink more alcohol to feel the same effects, you are developing tolerance. If the same amount of a drug produces less and less of an effect on you, then your body has begun to develop tolerance. You are headed for problems. Those who can “hold their liquor” are not safe from alcoholism. They are already on the way to becoming an alcoholic.

4. You have symptoms of sickness when you suddenly stop getting your drug of choice.

This is called withdrawal or sometimes abstinence syndrome. Hangovers when you drink. Other physical symptoms, headaches constipation, diarrhea, changes in sleep, or appetite directly tied to your use are indicators of problems. So is needing more of the thing you did in the morning to recover. Taking some of the hair of the dog that bit you means you have been both bitten and infected with the addiction germ.

5. You get angry when people try to talk to you about your drug or alcohol use.

People who drink or use in responsible ways do not have people talking to them about their use. If your use has reached a point where people need to talk to you about it, then you have gone past the point of casual use and are headed for problems.

6. You have begun to accumulate negative consequences as a result of your use.

If you get in fights, verbal or physical, with people, are getting DUI’s or lose your job as a result of drinking or drug use then it has become a problem. If your relationships are suffering or you are fighting with your partner about your drug or alcohol use then the drug has entered the relationship and you are now in a threesome with that drug. This is not likely to turn out well. Both Sherry (alcohol) and Crystal (Methamphetamine) are jealous lovers and they do not want you to see your current partner.

7. You feel guilty about things you have done while under the influence.

Most times you can drink too much or do a little drugs and the next day you can think I wish I hadn’t done that and everything is fine. But it is not always like that.

Some people find the first time they drink they end up blackout drunk, the may drive drunk and kill someone, do something violent or even commit rape while under the influence. The little things are easier to hide than the big ones. No one knows when they will cross that line.

One warning sign is if more than once you wake up the next day having done things you wish you hadn’t and things that you need to pay for, make right, or worse yet things you can’t take back or fix.

If you feel guilty for things you do when under the influence of drugs or alcohol then you are headed towards addiction. You may already be there.

8. Most of your life involves getting the drug, using, and getting over the effects.

This is a classic sign of addiction. The addict finds that most of the day is spent thinking about their drug of choice, getting it, doing it, and then getting over the effects.

9. Drinking or using interferes with the roles you need to fill in life.

It affects your job, your relationship, and your parenting skills. When you stop seeing your friend or family, when you let your kids or spouse down all because of the things that drugs or alcohol are now requiring of you, it has passed from being fun to being a problem.

10. When you wake up one morning and this is no longer fun.

When you wonder how you ever got started. When you wish you had never taken that first drink or hit, you have reached the point where you don’t need to ask if this is a problem, you already know.

11. When what used to be your solution has become your problem.

If you move from thinking that a little alcohol or weed would mellow you out and make you happier or help you have more fun, and then after a long time using you need this substance to help you wake up, this is a problem. When you decide that this drug is your problem you have crossed the line by then it has become too late. You are now way past the point of return and have arrived at addiction.

Remember not all addictions are physical, getting sick kinds. The psychological addictions are often harder to kick than the physical ones.

If you are seeing some or all of these eleven signs in your life, then consider if it is time for you to give it up. There is help out there but you need to reach out for the help. Some professionals, counselors, and therapists, have been trained to help. There are substance abuse programs in almost every place. If those options do not work for you there are plenty of twelve-step groups and a few other peer self-help groups, all full of people who would like to help you as a part of their recovery.

If your fun has turned into your problem please consider asking for help.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

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12 thoughts on “11 signs you crossed the addiction line. Is it partying, drinking and using or addiction?

  1. Mr. Miller, when you begin a discussion of addiction by noting that –

    “SOME people report that they can drink a few drinks now and then and they have no problem.” and “There are those RARE individuals who are able to try a drug a few times and then put it away with no apparent bad result.”

    – you lose virtually all credibility. Addiction is a serious problem, but it is the exception, not the norm. Addiction rates – for virtually any substance – are less than 10%, meaning that those “rare individuals” are actually the vast majority of users.

    One of the biggest problems with drug education in this country is a lack of credibility. And a big part of that is that folks who make their living in “prevention” or drug treatment continuously overstate the the numerical risks of addiction. In fact, recent scholarship shows that absent other factors – pre-existing mental health issues, depression, unstable life circumstances – the risk of addiction is even lower than the absolute numbers would indicate.

    Perhaps the people that you see in your practice, or the people who treatment professionals commonly come into contact with, are not a representative sample of substance users. Extrapolating from that population is not likely to lead to a balanced view of the risks of substance use for most people.


    • Clearly we disagree on this. I think our disagreement turns on two issues. How you define “addiction” or being an “Addict” and whether you look at things cross sectional or longitudinally. Long term use of substances, prescribed medications as well as illicit drugs results in tolerance and withdrawal the hallmarks of addiction. Among those using drugs recreationally at any one point in time the number of people who have a severe physical dependency is small but as they age most people who use drugs develop negative life consequences as a result of that usage. People either grow old and stop using or they develop life and health threatening problems. It would be comforting to think that addiction or dependency won’t happen to me but eventually you need increasing amounts to get the same high or the drugs stop being pleasurable. Lots of people drink and are not alcoholics but VA estimates half their beds are filled with those who have physical health problems as a result of alcohol related health problems. Saying most people who uses drugs do not become addicts understates the dangers to my way of thinking. Thanks for your comment and of course you are entitled to your opinion. Best wishes.


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  9. Thanks for addressing this topic, David — this is an interesting one and I think something that a lot of people struggle to identify, especially given that drinking is so socially acceptable…


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