12 ways to become totally undesirable.


By David Joel Miller.

Are you making yourself undesirable?

Ugly Bird

Ugly Bird (Sorry Mr Bird)
Photo courtesy of Flickr (YuvalH)

Being desirable is about more than looks. Outward looks fade with time but what is inside can make you undesirable at any age

Fancy clothes and expensive make up, nails and a new hair style can hide some faults but don’t rely on them to hide inner unpleasantness. Men a new suit and tie will not cover up your rudeness and lack of consideration.

Why waste time on your outside when what you are doing is creating a really ugly person inside. Here are twelve ways people can create a person even they would not want to be around.

1. Make sure everyone knows how awful things are – spread the doom and gloom.

Make sure that everywhere you go you let people know just how bad things really are. Especially let them know that they are incompetent and helpless to alter their fate.

2. Belittle others accomplishments – whatever they do tell them you can do it better.

Someone gets straight A’s, let them know that the school they attend has really been slipping academically, why you heard that anyone can get A’s there.

If they run a marathon let them know that you have a younger cousin that is taking after you and now is an Olympic hopeful.

Whatever they do let them know that you can do it better and in fact you know just scads of people who are far superior to them on a daily basis.

3. Fight with everyone every chance you get.

Make sure that any mistake no matter how small does not go uncorrected. Point out the slightest flaw in everyone around you. If anyone says anything, think of ways that you can instantly argue with everything they said. Let those at work know how much smarter you are and how you are surrounded by stupid, ignorant people.

4. Make sure you are always the center of attention – remind everyone who will listen that it is all about you.

Take every opportunity in the conversation to turn the conversation towards you. Tell them what you do, who you know and how very grateful people are to you for all you do.

Avoid babies and animals because the might upstage you and it is all about you now and ever after.

5. Boss everyone around – if they don’t play by your rules take your ball and go home.

Let people know that you think they are incompetent. Tell them how to do every little thing. Make sure that you take charge of every situation and run every show. No one can be trusted to get things right but you. Make sure to remind them all how hard it is on you to have to take over everything but that you will do it rather than having things done wrong.

6. Focus only on your outside.

Do not waste time on learning and education when you can get a haircut, manicure or the latest designer clothing.

When you look good then you should not need to know anything.

7. Remind everyone how stupid they are and how smart you are.

Point out every mistake and every omission in what others say. Bring up past errors for as long as possible. Keep mental notes of every fault those around you has and remind them of how you saw what they did.

Slip reminders of how stupid they are into every conversation. “I can’t believe you didn’t know that” “did you take a stupid pill today or what?”

8. Think only of yourself.

Being constantly self-centered is a good way to develop your inner ugly.

9. Lie, cheat and steal every chance you get.

Lying is wrong when others do it but you are special. The rule should not apply to anyone as special as you. It is not really stealing because you need what others have and if they knew how special you were they would want you to have their stuff anyway.

10 Tell them the truth even if it will hurt someone’s feelings – politeness is for the week.

If they can’t take the truth they you should not feel sorry for them. You should be as blunt as possible after all you are “only telling the truth,” which is an excuse for all manner of rudeness.

11. Expect others to always do for you but set limits on what you do for them – they owe you the loan of money, rides and favors but you are just too important to always be doing for others.

Make sure everyone knows that they are expected to pick you up, take you places and get you there on time. Do not worry if you keep them waiting, they should understand how important it is that they be available to help you.

Remind them that you are just so important and so stressed out from having to be you that you could not take time out from your busy schedule to wait on the “little people.”

12. Point out what is wrong with everyone and everything.

Find fault with everything incessantly. If you told them how wrong they were yesterday remind them again today. Announce with certain authority how very wrong and awful the government, the school, your job and everyone else is.

Let no chance to run someone or something down escape.

Do all 12 of these procedures and you can look good on the outside while developing a really ugly inside.

Do you know or have you met people like this? If we get honest most of us will see that we all do some of these things occasionally. But if you are driving friends away on a regular basis you might want to take another look and see if you are doing any or all of these inner-ugly-making principles.

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For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended books.

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