What is Genuineness?


By David Joel Miller.

Being genuine means being honestly who you are.

To be genuine means to be truthful and to be the real thing.  Genuine people are exactly what they represent themselves to be.  Genuine people are never fake.  What you see is what you get.  Genuine people are never copies or imitations of others.

Being genuine makes your life better.

Genuine people

What is Genuine these days?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Being genuine can be hard. You have to put yourself out there and risk being disliked. What you may discover is that the opposite of genuine is being fake. People who are fake get found out. If you try too hard to please others, you may end up not even pleasing yourself.  This been a lot written recently about living an authentic life.  An authentic life begins first with getting honest with yourself and becoming a genuine person.

While being genuine can be scary sometimes and you need to be cautious just how much and what parts of yourself you show to whom, people who develop genuineness as a part of their character end up likening themselves a whole lot more. Below are some simple advantages to becoming more genuine.

You don’t have to pretend to be something you’re not.

Genuine people stop having to pretend.  If you have ever felt you had to pretend to be something you’re not in order to have people like you, what happened was you probably lost a lot of yourself in the process.

The most important person you have to stop pretending to is yourself.  If in your life you only get honest with one person, that one person needs to be you.  Once you’ve developed that self-honesty it becomes much easier to be honest with others.

People who don’t like you the way you are don’t really like you.  Hang out with people like that and what you find is that people who like the fake you are fake friends.  Real friends know the real you can still like you.

You get to say what you mean and people accept it.

Genuine people say what they mean and mean what they say.  Start acting genuine and people either accept you the way you are or they quickly exit your life.  You shouldn’t have to hide your thoughts and feelings from others to win their approval.

Being genuine doesn’t mean that you have to blurt out every criticism that comes to mind.  When you’re genuine your friends don’t have to wonder if what you’re telling them is the truth.  Genuine people are very valued for their honesty.

You get to live your life not someone else’s.

Genuine people get to live their own authentic lives.  Trying to pretend you’re something you know you are not results in your living a life someone else wants not the life you want.  Genuine people get to live their lives their way.  When you live a genuine life you do not have to have regrets.

You don’t have to avoid responsibility.

Genuine people take responsibility for what they do.  They understand that it’s OK to try things and fail.  Since they are really being themselves, they can also admit when they are less than perfect.  Being genuine means it’s OK to make mistakes and be less than perfect.

People who are afraid to be genuine, the fake person kind, spend a great deal of time hiding their mistakes.  When you live in a genuine way, it is easier to live up to your responsibilities.

It is easier to accept compliments.

Phony people have trouble accepting compliments.  Genuine people have no difficulty in accepting compliments when they have done something well.  Genuine, authentic people are able to accept praise for things done well because they are also able to give themselves that credit.

You can recognize and compliment others. No need for jealousy.

Since genuine people accept themselves exactly as they are, they can give others the space to be themselves.  There’s no need for a genuine person to be jealous. Complementing someone else doesn’t diminish you when you feel good about yourself. Genuine people find it easy to recognize when others have done something well and are able to complement them on it.

You become more secure.

People who live a genuine, authentic life get to lose the insecurities.  The more genuine you are the more secure you can be because you accept yourself just the way you are.  Genuineness breeds security.  Since you are not trying to be fake, you don’t have to hide parts of yourself and you don’t worry about being found out.

You are not threatened by others successes.

People who are genuinely themselves are not in a competition with others to be something they are not.  And they can be fully themselves and still allow others to be who they are.  Genuine people can feel honestly good about other people’s successes.  Genuine people get to enjoy watching their friends and colleagues achieve great things.

You can admit when you are wrong.

Genuine people can admit when they are wrong.  There is no need to cover up or hide any of their imperfections.

You don’t worry about being a fraud. Your words and actions match.

Dishonest people are always afraid of being found out, they believe they are frauds.  When you live a genuine life you don’t have to worry about being found out.  Genuine people allow their words to match their actions and their actions to match their words.

You don’t need stuff to feel good about yourself.

Genuine people feel good about themselves and don’t need to accumulate a lot of stuff in order to validate themselves.  If you’re living the life you genuinely want, there’s no need to keep up with these Joneses.  Genuine people buy things because they want them not because they need to pretend.

How genuine a life are you living?

Now might be a great time to take another look at your life and see if your living the kind of life you really want.  Can you see how being genuine can have advantages for your mental health?  Work on being genuine and honest with yourself and see if you don’t feel a whole lot better about who you are.

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For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books

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