Which kind of sensitive are you?

By David Joel Miller.

Are you too sensitive or not sensitive enough?


How sensitive are you?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

There are at least two kinds of sensitive. One is generally considered good and the other is thought of as bad. Some people are just way too sensitive.  You know the kind of person I mean.  Other people are extremely insensitive. Have you ever thought about the two kinds of sensitive and why you need more of one and less of the other?

Some people are just too sensitive.

Have you met people like this?  With people who are way too sensitive, any little thing you might say they take as an insult. They are always experiencing slights and they are often looking for ways to get even for these slights, real or imaginary.  You have to be careful what you say around people who are so very sensitive.

I think of these people as being like someone who has been in a car crash, covered in blood and broken glass. The wounds need cleaning but even when you try to be helpful, in the most caring manner, they scream in pain.  You reach the point where you are just afraid to interact with them because of their extreme sensitivity

People who are extremely emotionally sensitive are like that, hard to be around. You are always on edge when near them. Say the wrong thing and you set them off. They are constantly touchy. You wish they were just not so sensitive. Their life is the center of the emotional hurricanes eye. Every day brings more drama and if you are not well grounded you can get swept away in their drama.

In fact, if they want to stay connected to you what they really need to be is – well just be more sensitive, sensitive in a good way.

Some people are just naturally very sensitive.

These sort of folks just always seem to know exactly the right thing to say. They intuitively know how you are feeling and are supportive in every way.  Everyone needs a few people like this in their life.

Don’t you just wish your friend or partner could be more in tune with your feelings, if only they could be more sensitive?  Especially more sensitive to you and how you’re feeling each day.

What is the difference between the two forms of sensitivity?

If In the first variety, the too sensitive form, the person’s sensitivity is focused inward. They see everything as if it pertains to them. “Why did you say that to hurt me” is their mantra.  That other people have feelings and matter is beyond their understanding.

In the second form, the intuitive and sensitive, the sensitivity is turned outward. They are looking to see how what they are doing is affecting others. This kind of extra sensitive person is empathetic and attuned to others.

Which kind of sensitive are you?

Are you focused inwardly, expecting others to always say and do the right thing to make you happy? Or do you stay focused on others,  looking for ways you can be of service and helpful to them?  The topic of sensitivity justifies some thought.  Consider how you might work on becoming more sensitive to the needs of others and less sensitive to everything they say and do that might affect you

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For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books


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