By David Joel Miller.
Why would a counselor stop seeing you?
Sometimes the counselor will tell the client they need to stop seeing them because the client is not getting better. Why would they do that?
There is one major reason and a few smaller ones why this might happen. Honestly most of the time this does not happen. We, counselors, want to think we can help people and sometimes we go on seeing them past the point at which we should have noticed that the client is just not getting any better. But if your therapist does say they need to stop seeing you here are some possible reasons why.
Ethics tell us not to see people we can’t help.
It is considered unethical to keep seeing a client once you realize that you are not able to help them. Once the counselor realizes this, they first look at what they are doing, is there something else I could do to be helpful? Then they consider referring the client to someone else who might be able to do something differently.
Just a lack of progress on the clients part does not mean the counselor is not being helpful. Sometimes the issues the client has may require help just to keep them stable. If the therapy sessions keep the client from getting worse and ending up in the hospital that may be a reason to continue therapy even if the client is not seeing their problems get smaller.
What would be unethical would be to keep seeing the client, taking their money or the insurance company’s money if the sessions were not helping the client.
A new problem emerges that needs special care.
Sometimes we start off seeing the client for one problem, say depression and during the process, the client starts talking about some other problem. Say the client now tells the counselor that they have a severe eating disorder then have never mentioned before.
Treating eating disorders is often considered a specialty. Not all counselors have the extra training needed to be able to help you with that. So they might need to refer you to an eating disorder specialist.
This should happen more often with clients who have a substance abuse issue. Unfortunate some therapists are uncomfortable talking about substance use issues. They keep on working on the depression and ignore the substance use problem. The result is that the client fails to get better.
Sometimes the client wears the counselor out.
Some clients get stuck in an issue. They are angry or hurt because of something that happened in their past. What they might like to do is erase the event so it never happened. That or punish the person who harmed them.
The therapist wants to help them move on and get working on creating a new happy life. If the client is not ready to move on it can get tiring to listen to them. If the counselor runs out of steam in the listening department they should make the referral.
I do recommend to interns that if they start feeling this way they need to talk to the client about this. It is possible we professionals get impatient and try to end treatment just about the time the client is ready to make some changes.
Don’t ever stop just before the miracles happen.
If the counselor becomes impaired they shouldn’t see clients.
If the counselor gets sick, or they have a sick family member, then they can’t give helping you their full attention. Counselors who are going through a divorce or a custody battle may find they can’t give a client who reminds them of their ex their full attention.
Other professional impairments can include excessive or problematic use of substances, drug and alcohol abuse can be problems for counselors too.
You think you are not getting better but the counselor sees improvement.
Clients can start getting dependent on their therapist. Sometimes they look forward to the weekly session so much they can’t see how they can give it up. They feel they are not all better yet.
Counselors and insurance companies are not expecting you to be all better at the end of treatment. What is expected is that the symptoms will be reduced till they no longer interfere with your ability to work, have friends or family relationships.
If you symptoms seem stable, the counselor may decide that they can’t justify billing your insurance anymore and that means they need to terminate therapy with you or you will have to pay yourself.
Even in this circumstance counselors may need to revert back to point 1. When does the counselor’s seeing you become more for them, to make a profit, than for you?
Those are some of the reasons a counselor may say they have to stop seeing you, they may be others in particular cases. Hope that helps explain the process.
- What is a therapist? What do therapists do? (counselorssoapbox.com)
- Could you use some help? (counselorssoapbox.com)
- When your mind magnifies your problems (counselorssoapbox.com)
- Are you a functional Alcoholic? Do you know someone with an Alcohol Use Disorder? (counselorssoapbox.com)
- How you can beat test anxiety (counselorssoapbox.com)
- The voices in your head – depression, anxiety, and fear – they lie (counselorssoapbox.com)
- I got lost again – inside my house (counselorssoapbox.com)
- Therapists have therapists – Who do pastors and priests see? (counselorssoapbox.com)
- Do emotional problems, depression and anxiety, time travel? (counselorssoapbox.com)
- More on how to be happy (counselorssoapbox.com)
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Two David Joel Miller Books are available now!
You can recover. Your cruising along the road of life and then wham, something knocks you in the ditch. If you have gone through a divorce, break up, or lost a job your life may have gotten off track. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Casino Robbery is a novel that explores the world of a man with PTSD who must cope with his symptoms to solve a mystery and create a new life.
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For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page or my Facebook author’s page, David Joel Miller. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com.