By David Joel Miller
Why is it so hard to ask for help?
When it comes to physical, tangible, things most of us are able to ask for help. But when it comes to the emotional and mental problems in our lives we find it difficult if not impossible to ask for help.
If you need to move, you ask your friends to show up and help you carry the furniture. You may even borrow someone’s truck to move you. It is not uncommon for people to borrow money when they can’t pay the rent. Why not ask for emotional help?
Is there some special reason we don’t like to ask for help for our emotional problems like depression or anxiety?
Why avoid help for relationships issues?
Lots of these panic – need to move this weekend, situations, are the result of relationship breakups. Frankly, most of those relationships had problems that could have been treated if one the people involved would ask for help. That is what marriage and family therapists do every day.
Why is it easier to justify borrowing $1,000 to move, but so very few people will spend $100.00 to work on salvaging that marriage in the first place?
Need help with an addiction?
The same is true of other life problems. Someone has a drinking problem. They resist going to treatment, can’t ask for help for that. But after the arrest or they lose their job they will ask to borrow money to pay the lawyer, bail bondsman and the fine.
Help, for the record, comes in all styles and colors. Friends can offer help for emotional problems if you let them. There are self-help groups and there are self-help books. Most of these work on yourself solutions are a lot cheaper than neglecting the problem and then paying the consequences.
Professional help is also often a good investment. CPA’s are known to refer management of family-owned companies for family counseling. It is a whole lot cheaper to work out the conflicts between family members than it is to liquidate the family company.
Self-help groups recognize the need to be willing to accept help. The third step in the twelve steps is, to my way of thinking, primarily about being willing to accept help. So is sponsorship.
Everyone has times in their life when they need help with emotional problems. The smart people are not too proud to ask.
What is Serenity? (counselorssoapbox.com)
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- 2013 Midpoint – Top 10 posts (counselorssoapbox.com)
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- What is a therapist? What do therapists do? (counselorssoapbox.com)
- Anger and Depression beat Contentment and Serenity (counselorssoapbox.com)
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Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Two David Joel Miller Books are available now!
You can recover. Your cruising along the road of life and then wham, something knocks you in the ditch. If you have gone through a divorce, break up, or lost a job your life may have gotten off track. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Casino Robbery is a novel that explores the world of a man with PTSD who must cope with his symptoms to solve a mystery and create a new life.
Other books are due out soon; please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller
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For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page or my Facebook author’s page, David Joel Miller. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com.