By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
You shouldn’t do everything just because you can.
One place many of us get off track is to start thinking because something is possible, we should do it.
This problem is common in the two primary life problem areas, Romances and finances.
You meet someone and they seem to like you. You feel some attraction back. A relationship is possible. Many people end up in relationships for no more reason than that the other person is interested. We fall in love because we think the other person might like us. Just because this relationship is possible does not mean it would be healthy to get involved.
Not every potential mate should be your child’s parent.
Many a person’s baby’s father or mother became a part of their and their children’s lives for no better reason than that relationship was possible. We pick partners because we can have this relationship not because you should.
Pick your baby’s other parent carefully. You can break up with your partner but baby’s fathers and mothers are forever.
Don’t take jobs and spend money just because.
It is easy to sabotage your finances or your work life for similar reasons reason.
Lots of people drift into their work lives in the same way. You don’t know what you want to do. You know you need a job so when something comes along, you take that job. Maybe the job is low pay. Maybe the working conditions are terrible. So eventually we get fed up, maybe even quit.
Just because you can get a particular job does not mean you should take it.
Don’t misunderstand me. If you need money you need to work. So sometimes we have to take a job that is less than the perfect job dream we have in our head. But please do not stop there. Think in terms of the rest of your life. What kind of career do you want? Are you working towards that?
What about you’re spending? Do you buy things because you can?
Many people have trouble with compulsive, emotional spending. You see something and you want it. You have the money or maybe the room on your credit card. The pleasure of the immediate purchase exceeds the happiness you might have from having more money in the bank or fewer, smaller bills.
Some of us drift through life always in debt, owing on cards and loans, for no better reason than that we bought things because we could not because we should.
Do you drift through life doing things because you can or do you focus on the things that you should do or not do?
- When your mind magnifies your problems (counselorssoapbox.com)
- More on how to be happy (counselorssoapbox.com)
- Could you use some help? (counselorssoapbox.com)
- Mental Health Monsters – Depression and Anxiety (counselorssoapbox.com)
- The voices in your head – depression, anxiety, and fear – they lie (counselorssoapbox.com)
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Two David Joel Miller Books are available now!
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Casino Robbery is a novel about a man with PTSD who must cope with his symptoms to solve a mystery and create a new life.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller
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For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse, and Co-occurring disorders see my Facebook author’s page, davidjoelmillerwriter. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com.