By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
How many ways are you standing in the path of becoming successful?
Some people rack up a lot of successes in life, other people find that mostly they fail. Successful people always have a few failures. But if you find that mostly your life has been a string of failures with few successes you may want to look at what is causing that. There are some habits, which some people have, that we sometimes call self-sabotaging. Some people are able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. If you find that the dominant theme in your life is failure, you may be engaging in some of these success preventing behaviors.
You blame others for your failures.
The road to success involves taking a lot of personal responsibility. If you find that when you fail you are always blaming someone else, your lack of looking at your own part in these failures may be creating a repeating pattern.
You spend a lot of time doing things you don’t care about.
To be successful you have to put in the work. Doing the practice that is required to develop skills takes time. If you find that you are spending a lot of time to doing things that aren’t important and you don’t really care about, you are wasting valuable practice time on things that don’t add to your success.
You let your fears keep you from trying.
It’s possible to try and fail. But you will fail at 100% of the things that you don’t try to do. You will never have any big successes if you let your fears keep you from trying things in the first place.
You make a big deal out of your failures.
The more time you spend focusing on the things you fail at, the less time it leaves you for planning and executing possible successes. Don’t stay focused on the things that didn’t succeed. Devote your energy, your time and your thinking on planning for the projects of the future.
You spend a lot of time regretting the past.
People whose life theme is failure spend a lot of time rehashing the past. To increase your success percentages, focus your time on planning for the future and work on your projects in the present.
You constantly worry about future.
It’s important to consider the future, to plan for it and to plan for all eventualities. But there’s nothing you can do today but today’s work. Worry doesn’t keep you safe. Working, planning and preparing for the future increases your chances of success.
You can see the negative in everything.
The pessimist sees the negative everywhere they look. Pessimists don’t create grand successes. If you spend all your time focused on the negative, you have no time to create a positive.
You try to please everyone all the time.
Trying to please everyone all the time is playing to the lowest common denominator. You can’t please everyone. Innovative ideas require taking chances. If you are creative few people will have thought of your idea before you. Successful people get off the beaten track and do new novel things.
You believe goals are waste of time.
If you believe that goals are a waste of time you are not going anywhere. Successful people have goals to direct their path. The goals keep you from spending most of your time wandering aimlessly. If you don’t know where you’re going you won’t recognize it when you get there. Is your failure to plan a planning for failure?
You have forgotten how to have fun.
If the life you live is a life of drudgery, nothing will make you feel successful. Life has its ups and its downs. Make sure that you enjoy the journey or you will arrive at the destination worn out from the road.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Two David Joel Miller Books are available now!
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Casino Robbery is a novel about a man with PTSD who must cope with his symptoms to solve a mystery and create a new life.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller
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For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse, and Co-occurring disorders see my Facebook author’s page, davidjoelmillerwriter. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com.