Tag Archives: reaching goals

2021 Midyear Review.

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2021 Midyear Review
photo courtesy of Pixabay

2021 Midyear Review.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

A quick glance at my calendar tells me that the year 2021 is about half over.

Last week was the summer solstice, where we officially moved into the summer season.

This week we moved from June to July, marking the beginning of the second half of our 12-month year.

Seems like a good time to take stock of my progress working on my “things I want to do this year” list.

Relationships.

High on my list of priorities for 2021 has been improving my relationships with family and friends. Covid has certainly got in the way of maintaining relationships. But on balance, I feel pleased with my progress in staying in contact with people who are important to me despite the difficulties.

Creative endeavors.

The year 2021 was one I dedicate to try to improve the quality of my creative work. I have spent some time taking classes on how to teach online, and I have studied ways to improve my writing and my video production. Unfortunately, all that time spent studying has not yet translated into actually producing more creative work. That should probably be the focus of the second half of the year 2021.

Becoming more proficient in using online platforms.

Technology has been a challenge, especially for an old guy like me. Since Covid began and particularly during the early part of 2021, I have taken classes in teaching online, and I have created to complete asynchronous online courses in the field of substance use disorders. I want to finish my certification for online teaching before the end of 2021.

I’ve gotten very used to using Zoom and occasionally some other videoconferencing platforms. I now have a dedicated Zoom room for doing online clinical supervision and seeing some private practice clients.

Improving my skills at creating videos.

I made some progress in learning to make simple videos. My YouTube video Channel recently reached an all-time high in viewers. Most of the videos are related to alcoholism, substance abuse, and counseling for substance use disorders. In addition, I began adding videos about mental health and having a happy life. I hope to expand those before the end of 2021.

Blog posts.

Time has been premium to work on the counselorssoapbox blog. With 1800 posts completed, it’s been getting harder to come up with topics and the time to create new blog posts. So although I haven’t completely abandoned blogging is had to take a back seat to my other longer-form writing.

Writing and publishing new books.

I currently have three novels and one nonfiction self-help book I’m working on. I and doing more research than I had on past books. I’m also taking classes and reading books on how to become a better author. I’ll let you know when the books get completed and published.

Trying to keep my life in balance.

Of all the things I wanted to do for 2021, this goal has proved the most elusive. There are just so many things I want to do every day that keeping things in balance is a constant challenge. While I can’t say that everything in my life is in balance, shifting from a list of things that I “have to do” to lists of “things I want to do” has helped me reduce the pressure to get more done each day and has increased the time that I can simply relax and enjoy the things I choose to do.

Now don’t get the wrong impression here. I’m still teaching two classes per semester, conducting group supervision, and seeing clients in private practice. I enjoy working, so I continue to do it. But I’m trying to increase the time I spend each week doing creative projects and learning new things.

For the rest of this year, I’ll try to keep you updated on what I’m learning and what I’m creating.

There are probably many more things I should reflect on for this midyear review, but I wanted to get this retrospective review completed before we reached the end of 2021.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

When should you give up?

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By David Joel Miller.

Quitting

Quitting.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Should you give up or keep going?

You read a lot of advice that tells you to never give up. But I think we’ve all seen people who continue doing something which never had a chance of success. I notice a lot of people starting businesses full of hope, and over time they pour everything they had into that business only to lose everything. We also see people who gave up just before success could have happened. How do you decide when to persevere and when to give up?

People don’t like to quit but sometimes quitting is the smart thing to do.

I recently came across a Seth Godin book titled “The Dip” that talked about precisely this dilemma. There are several reasons you might have to choose between continuing and giving up.

In the beginning, you don’t know what’s ahead.

Many people get themselves into something, a job, a career, or a relationship, without knowing what’s ahead. That can be the result of not researching your planned course of action or not spending the time to get to know the person you’re getting involved with. A change of path can also happen because situations in the world have changed.

Many things sound a lot easier and more enjoyable than they actually are. Being a rock star musician is a common fantasy. But unless you really love playing your instrument and performing in front of people, trying to make it to the top can be a painful path. Being a rock star looks attractive, but the thousands of hours of practice and the long stretches of playing one-night stands in small clubs deters a lot of would-be rock stars.

Quit when the things you must do, don’t match your values.

It is imperative that you be clear about your values. Sometimes you start on something only to discover that what you’ll have to do will not be consistent with your values. In that situation, many people compromise their values. Sometimes it pays to re-examine your beliefs. But if what you will have to do does not match your core values it’s time to give up the pursuit of that goal and headed in a different direction.

When your approach stops working you should change tactics.

No matter how well thought out plan was, if it doesn’t work it’s not the right plan. Many people invest so much pursuing something they want that they find it impossible to give up the pursuit of that goal even when they know what they’re doing won’t work. Working longer and harder won’t help if you are using the wrong approach.

It’s time to change when you are putting more in than you’re getting back.

We never seem to have all the information we need before starting on a project. If you find that the cost of reaching your goal will be more than you have or more than that goal is worth, it is time to change your plan. Many people succumb to the sunken cost fallacy. They tell themselves I put so much into this that I must keep going. What you put into it in the past is irrelevant. Past efforts and past expenditures are gone. What’s important is how much more will you have to put in and will the result be worth the additional investment.

Abandon a course when it’s not taking you where you want to go.

Sometimes life’s maps turn out to be inaccurate or missing details. If you set off in one direction and discovered that the effort you’re putting in is not taking you where you want to go, don’t keep wandering in the wrong direction. People can spend their whole lives saying that they’re working to make money so that someday they’ll be able to do what they want. Unfortunately, far too often people run out of life before they make the change and headed in the direction they wanted to go. For many things, the journey will take you a long time, don’t wait too long to begin heading in the right direction.

Are there things in your life you need to re-examine? What goals should you abandon and what will you need to dedicate yourself to?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Obstacles to reaching your dreams.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Barriers to dreams

Obstacles to reaching your dreams.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Don’t let these things get in the way of reaching your dreams.

You have dreams. You have goals. Time passes by, but you don’t seem to be getting any closer to reaching your objective. If the harder you work, the farther away your dreams appear to be, take another look at the way you’re going about the pursuit of your goals. You may be the one placing obstacles in your way. There are some common ways that you may be preventing progress towards your desired outcome.

You don’t believe in yourself.

If you don’t believe in yourself who will? Spending lots of time in self-doubt distract you from progress towards goals. Believe in yourself. Picture your goal already accomplished. Don’t send your brain mixed signals. Get very clear on what your goal is and stay focused on your vision.

Lack of knowledge.

Not having the needed knowledge or skills will get in the way of reaching your objective. Plan your course of action. Do an inventory of the skills you will need to reach your objective. If there is knowledge or skills you don’t have, decide which knowledge you will need to acquire. You won’t need to have every possible skill. Decide which knowledge you will need to acquire for yourself and which skills you can hire. Don’t try to do everything yourself. Then acquire the skills you will need to chart your course.

Ignoring the advice of your coach or mentor.

Choose your advisers carefully. Pay attention to the advice you get. The smartest and most successful people pick good coaches, and they listen to that coach’s advice. A good mentor is someone who has traveled part of the path you will need to travel. Pick coaches who will tell you the truth. Avoid yes men or overly agreeable women. Hearing others repeat what you said does not add value to your conversations.

Ignoring the details.

In the pursuit of your dream, you need a broad picture of where you’re going. Make sure to fill in the little details you will need along the way. Your plan must not leave out steps you will need to take. Great structures can collapse when you leave out part of the foundation.

Mistreating others.

In your pursuit of that dream, treat others kindly. The people you mistreat may try to prevent you from reaching your goal. Along your journey, it will help to have allies. When others see you mistreating people along your path, they will not want to assist you.

Taking care of your physical health.

Being physically healthy will aid you in the pursuit of your dream. Poor health will become an extra burden. Failure to take care of yourself will not speed your journey. Time spent neglecting self-care becomes an obstacle on your path. Physical health can deteriorate a little at a time. The longer you neglect your physical health, the larger an obstacle your poor health can become.

Poor mental or emotional health.

Mental health issues, depression, anxiety, anger, are needless obstacles to reaching your dreams. There’s no virtue in needless suffering. You will spend your whole life with you. Become the happiest, best-adjusted person you can be. Poor mental and emotional health is a major obstacle to reaching your life dreams. The sooner you clear these obstacles out of your path, the easier your journey will become.

Not Enjoying the present.

Make sure to enjoy the process of moving towards your goals. There will be times when you must work hard and do unpleasant things. If the process of pursuing your dream requires doing a lot of things you dislike, your failure to enjoy the process will become a major obstacle in the pathway to your goal. Failing to enjoy the process is an unnecessary obstacle.

Not getting help when you need it.

Don’t be afraid to help others or to accept help from them when you need it. Getting the help, you need, will remove obstacles. By not seeking help or accepting it, you are creating additional barriers to achieving success.

Failing to plan.

Not planning is the equivalent of trying to build a building without a blueprint. A plan does not need to interfere with creativity. Creative types need to plan for an environment that is conducive to creating, and they need to plan for the materials they will need to execute that creative product. The lack of a plan will leave you wandering in life.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Ways you are preventing success.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Roadblock to goal

Roadblock to Success.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

How many ways are you standing in the path of becoming successful?

Some people rack up a lot of successes in life, other people find that mostly they fail.  Successful people always have a few failures.  But if you find that mostly your life has been a string of failures with few successes you may want to look at what is causing that.  There are some habits, which some people have, that we sometimes call self-sabotaging.  Some people are able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.  If you find that the dominant theme in your life is failure, you may be engaging in some of these success preventing behaviors.

You blame others for your failures.

The road to success involves taking a lot of personal responsibility.  If you find that when you fail you are always blaming someone else, your lack of looking at your own part in these failures may be creating a repeating pattern.

You spend a lot of time doing things you don’t care about.

To be successful you have to put in the work.  Doing the practice that is required to develop skills takes time.  If you find that you are spending a lot of time doing things that aren’t important and you don’t really care about, you are wasting valuable practice time on things that don’t add to your success.

You let your fears keep you from trying.

It’s possible to try and fail.  But you will fail at 100% of the things that you don’t try to do.  You will never have any big successes if you let your fears keep you from trying things in the first place.

You make a big deal out of your failures.

The more time you spend focusing on the things you fail at, the less time it leaves you for planning and executing possible successes.  Don’t stay focused on the things that didn’t succeed.  Devote your energy, your time, and your thinking on planning for the projects of the future.

You spend a lot of time regretting the past.

People whose life theme is failure spend a lot of time rehashing the past.  To increase your success percentages, focus your time on planning for the future, and work on your projects in the present.

You constantly worry about the future.

It’s important to consider the future, to plan for it, and to plan for all eventualities.  But there’s nothing you can do today but today’s work.  Worry doesn’t keep you safe.  Working, planning, and preparing for the future increases your chances of success.

You can see the negative in everything.

The pessimist sees the negative everywhere they look.  Pessimists don’t create grand successes.  If you spend all your time focused on the negative, you have no time to create a positive.

You try to please everyone all the time.

Trying to please everyone all the time is playing to the lowest common denominator.  You can’t please everyone.  Innovative ideas require taking chances.  If you are creative few people will have thought of your idea before you.  Successful people get off the beaten track and do new novel things.

You believe goals are waste of time.

If you believe that goals are a waste of time you are not going anywhere.  Successful people have goals to direct their path.  The goals keep you from spending most of your time wandering aimlessly.  If you don’t know where you’re going you won’t recognize it when you get there.  Is your failure to plan a planning for failure?

You have forgotten how to have fun.

If the life you live is a life of drudgery, nothing will make you feel successful.  Life has its ups and its downs.  Make sure that you enjoy the journey or you will arrive at the destination worn out from the road.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Get more done.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Garden in a boat.

Get More Done.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Ways to be more productive.

Would you like to get more done?

Do you feel like you are having difficulty being productive?

Here are some simple tips to improve your productivity and help you get more done each and every day. Try introducing some of these ideas, one by one, and see if your productivity doesn’t increase.

Maintain a healthy blood sugar – energy level.

Your brain burns a lot of calories.  By some estimates up to 25% of all the calories, you will use every day are burned into your brain. Not having enough fuel onboard reduces your ability to do work. Lack of blood sugar results in fuzzy-headed thinking.

Kids who skip breakfast do more poorly in school.  Adults who don’t eat something early will find that they will suffer.  Start your day off with a healthy breakfast.  Being productive requires energy for both your brain and your body.

Get enough sleep.

Most people become chronically sleep-deprived.  You may be able to get by on reduced sleep for a single night, or even a couple of nights.  But if you continue to work with less than enough sleep, your productivity will decline.  Chronically cutting your sleep short is not a way to improve your productivity.

Eat healthily.

Getting things done requires maintaining your body.  It is not enough to simply take in calories.  Those calories need to include nutrients necessary to maintain health.  Many people’s diets are high in sugar, fat, and low nutrient ingredients.

Get exercise. Move around.

Make sure you get plenty of exercise.  Take frequent breaks.  Get up and move around.  Staying in one position too long can wear you out.  Today more and more people work at desk jobs, working with papers, computers, and ideas.  The result of this inactivity is a body that can’t support the brain that is doing so much of your work.

Eliminate what distracts you.

Distractions are the chief enemy of productivity.  Try to eliminate the distractions in your environment.  Close unneeded Internet windows.  If possible, use music or white noise to eliminate the distraction of conversations or other noises in your environment.  Cut down on the need to attend to things other than your main task at hand.

Practice focusing.

Focusing, paying attention, is a skill that needs to be practiced.  Young children rarely have good attention skills.  The way those attention paying skills develop is by practice.  Work on improving your ability to pay attention.  Notice when your mind is wandering and quickly bring it back to the thing you need to attend to.

Pursue your passions. What interests you?

The majority of all learning is emotional, not intellectual.  You learn things that interest you.  Pursue your passions.  Think about the things that interest you and incorporate those into your work. Think about learning a new skill, something that might excite you.

Take breaks. Chunk work.

Productivity declines the longer you stay on a given task.  Break time-consuming projects up into smaller chunks.  Take short breaks between each chunk. Early in the day, you’re likely to be able to do longer periods of work on a particular project.  As the day progresses you may need to take more frequent breaks or switch to other tasks.

Recharge your batteries. What fills you up mentally?

Productive people invest some time in recharging their batteries. Use your time off, your breaks, and lunch to do good self-care. Read something for fun, listen to your favorite music, make time to talk to friends and coworkers.

For the big projects, plan, prioritize, and break up.

Some projects can be overwhelming.  Starting off not knowing where you’re going can result in poor productivity.  For large projects start by developing a plan.  What will need to be done first, second, and so on?  Break large elements down into smaller pieces.  It helps to estimate how much time each part will take.  Pay attention to things you need to complete before you can start the next phase.

Have a clear picture of the desired outcome.

A lot of effort can be wasted when you are not sure what you are trying to accomplish.  Write out some goals for the project you are working on.  It helps to run these goals by your boss or your customer.  You have not accomplished much if you created something that doesn’t meet another’s needs.  You will work a lot more efficiently if you have a clear definition of what you are trying to accomplish.

Get the help you need.

Rather than trying to do everything yourself, identify those things where you could use others expert help.  Few people are skilled at everything.  It is a lot more efficient to get help from people who have expertise in areas where you are less skilled.

Try these tips for improved productivity.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel