Should I tell my therapist about Porn? Morning Question #21


By David Joel Miller.

Talk to the counselor about porn?

Why? I would think they already know about it. The better question is – are you or your partner having a problem with porn? If this is something that is causing you problems then yes, by all means tell the counselor about it.

Another reason to disclose the use of porn is if you and your partner are having relationship problems. Even if one partner does not think the porn is a problem the other partner may. Viewing sexually explicit materials can create a false sense of reality. Internet porn is about pixels not people. So if one partner in a relationship looks at porn and there are problems, sexual or otherwise, between the two of you, that porn watching activity is very relevant to individual and couples counseling.

Don’t be afraid or ashamed to talk about anything relevant to your problem. If you are having relationship issues of any kind then what you see portrayed as relationships in any media is relevant. If your therapist is unable to talk with you about this or is excessively moralistic or judgmental, then you just might have the wrong therapist for you.  See also Counseling as a novel relationship and posts about What the counselor can and can’t tell. The post about threesomes was written about bringing an addiction into your relationship but it is very relevant about porn or internet addictions also.

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For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books

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