By David Joel Miller.
Success – You can’t get there from here; you need to go somewhere else first.
Do you have a picture of success in your mind? Have you thought about the things you will need to do to get there from where you are? But you can’t seem to make any progress?
Is there a fear blocking your path?
One major obstacle in the path to being successful for many of us is that boulder sized fear that is right in front of us. What will you need to do to get past that fear and reach the success you were meant to find?
We have talked in the past about making sure that what you say your goals are is in fact what you really want out of life. Nothing so clearly undermines success as heading towards the one goal we say we want while looking over our shoulder at the goal we wish we were working on. Secretly wishing we were going somewhere else impedes all forward progress.
Your goals also need to be consistent with your values. If what really matters to you is your family and friends, good relationships make you happy; trying to make a lot of money will take you away from your goals and reduce the time you have to spend on improving those relationships. Sure you need some money, but how much money is enough and how much time with a loved one is too much?
Fears in our path to success can come in all sizes and shapes.
One fear that keeps people from trying is the fear of success. What would it mean to you to be truly successful? If you are unsure, if you believe you don’t deserve success or you think others will look down on you and reject you if you stood out, then your brain will help you out here and sabotage your efforts to do something that it knows you don’t really want.
To reach success, however you define it; you need to believe that you deserve to succeed.
Fear can take up a place in your way to success wearing the disguise of doubt or self-distrust. If you don’t believe that you will be successful, others around you will find it difficult to believe in you. If you give off that vibe that you don’t really want to accomplish anything, those around you will spend their time helping people who want to go somewhere.
Some fears shrink when you approach them.
That old bogey man under the bed disappears when we shine a light under the bed. The same is true of many other fears. Avoiding unpleasant things makes them scarier. Some fears will shrink rapidly once you walk up to them and begin the task.
Some fears won’t budge and you have to find ways around them.
If the thing you fear is a real risk, you need to look for ways to reduce that risk. Insurance and savings are two ways people shrink risk. Getting the education and training you need to be successful in a field also reduce the risk of heading in that direction.
Think for a while about the role of your fears in keeping you from the success you want. Is it trying to protect you from failing? Is it warning you of a real risk that needs to be taken into account?
Concurring fear is an important step in your journey to that happy, successful life you deserve.
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For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books
- Fear, anxiety or phobia? (counselorssoapbox.com)
- How far is it to Contentment? (counselorssoapbox.com)
- Guilt and Shame (counselorssoapbox.com)
- The problem easy button (counselorssoapbox.com)
- Hope is contagious (counselorssoapbox.com)
- How to turn anxiety into paranoia (counselorssoapbox.com)