Category Archives: AI – artificial intelligence

Relationships, Past, Present, And Future

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Couple

Relationship.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Relationships, Past, Present, And Future.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist, Counselor, and Certified Life Coach.

How can you tell when you’re in a relationship?

When most people describe their relationships, they’re talking about romantic, sexual relationships. I had a client come back for a follow-up session and tell me they did not need relationship counseling because they were not in a relationship and did not plan to get into another one either.

Then they spent the rest of the hour describing their conflicts with their parents, who were separated, several exes, their boss, their coworkers, and we ended with a quick summary of all the problems they were having in parenting their children, some of whom were still minors and some who were adults.

It’s important to realize we have lots of relationships with lots of people, even when we’re not in the primary sexual love relationship. No matter what you do, you’d never completely get that ex out of your mind, even when you get them out of your bedroom. Those fights you had with them, the things they liked and didn’t like, continue to rattle around in your head pretty much forever.

How you go about getting into relationships and getting out of them continues to affect you long after they’re gone. The problems you had with your parents may have affected your relationship with your romantic partner, and cumulatively, all these problems may be affecting your relationships at work and in your social life.

What makes it a relationship?

As I started to work on this series of posts, I decided to do something a little different. I consulted with two esteemed sources of knowledge, Professor Google and Advanced Researcher ChatGPT. The question I asked was relatively straightforward, but it got very different answers.

The question I posed TO AI was

“Please define a relationship and explain how someone gets into and out of relationships.”

Professor Google clearly answered, presuming that a relationship had to do with romantic and or sexual activity. He emphasized the connection or bond between two or more people, their interactions, their shared experiences, and especially underlined the need for an emotional attachment and then investment in each other over time.

Having started in that direction a lot of the rest of Professor Google’s answer involved how a couple becomes attracted to each other, initiates a romance or courtship, and how they, over time, develop a couple’s identity. Professor Google emphasized their need to merge their social circles and to develop interdependence.

Research assistant ChatGPT, however, approached the question from a more sociological perspective. He emphasized the need for an ongoing connection of two or more people and described relationships as being divided into at least five separate types.

Clearly, Mr. ChatGPT included as type 1 romantic relationships, but he went on to include familial, professional, and casual relationships.

Mr. ChatGPT emphasized as key elements of a relationship, there needed to be interactions that involve communication and shared experiences. He also emphasized the need for mutual recognition, that they both acknowledge that they were in a relationship and have some connections.

Using this broader multi-type blueprint for relationships results in including a lot of non-romantic and non-sexual relationships.

Mr. ChatGPT emphasized that they must have shared expectations about roles, boundaries, and behaviors which are continuing over time and are not brief.

Using this definition of a relationship minimizes the role of attraction in creating a relationship, it emphasizes shared goals and objectives.

I believe that while Mr. Google’s model allows for love at first sight and arranged marriages to be considered relationships, Mr. ChatGPT’s definition requires a more thoughtful and sequenced approach. In fact, Mr. ChatGPT states, “entering is a process, not a single step.” To meet these criteria, couples need to fully develop their connection before it meets the definition of a relationship.

Using Mr. ChatGPT’s definition requires that the parties involved, not necessarily a couple, possibly an entire group of people, need to have a continuing reason to keep the relationship going. This definition allows for a very simple soft ending when one person decides to leave the relationship. It even allows a large number of people to end their mutual relationship.

Tying this back to our discussion of transitions in life, we can see that getting into and out of a great many relationships outside the primary romantic or sexual relationship can be stressful events.

In future blog posts, I’ll talk about how starting and ending all sorts of relationships can involve difficult transitions.

If something I’ve said here rings a bell with you or interests you in any way, please leave a comment and feel free to ask me any questions. My best wishes to everyone, regardless of the direction your life is going right now. We can’t always pick the direction of life’s journey, but we can’t pick our approach to those changes.

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Recently, I began working with a telehealth company called Grow Therapy. If you’d like to make an appointment to work with me, contact them, and they can do the required paperwork and show you my available appointments. The link for making an appointment to talk with me is: David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC 

Life coaching clients must be working toward a specific problem-solving goal. Coaching is not appropriate if you have a diagnosable mental health problem. Also, life coaching is not covered by insurance. If you think life coaching for creativity or other life goals might be right for you, contact me directly.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Is making lists a good thing? AI weighs in.

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Making Lists
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Is making lists a good thing? AI weighs in.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

I make a lot of lists. I think it’s one of the things that helps me stay organized and productive, but not all of my family agrees with me. I suggested to a particular family member that they should start making lists. Their immediate response was that they were not retarded or senile, and they definitely did not have autism. This got me to wondering about reasons why something could be both good and bad. Especially when that divided opinion involves making lists.

I had initially planned to write a blog post titled “Why you need to write things down.” But that seemed problematic if, in fact, my penchant for list-making was indicative of some sort of mental pathology. I had one girlfriend, a very long, long time ago, who accused me of being autistic or at least on the autism spectrum, but I wrote that appraisal off to her diagnosed mental illnesses. Our conflicted short-term relationship was the start of my going back to school to complete a Master’s degree in counseling and marriage and family therapy.

A brief search for articles on the values and dangers of making lists did not return any conclusive evidence, so I thought I would turn to an ultimate authority. Two efforts to seek a final ultimate opinion resulted in two contradictory lists of reasons. I will need your help deciding which of these authorities is correct.

The authorities I consulted were AI programs. I may have skewed the results somewhat since I had to rewrite the prompt to get 2 different opinions. I asked AI if making lists was a sign of an intelligent, productive person, and I also asked AI if making lists was a sign of mental retardation, autism, or some other mental pathology. Below, you will find the two lists created by AI because of my two different prompts. Please let me know your thoughts about the original question and the two varying AI opinions.

Exhibit 1

Making lists is a sign of high intelligence.

Please create a list of at least twelve reasons why making lists is a sign of high intelligence and a well-organized person.

Certainly! Creating lists can be indicative of high intelligence and organizational skills for several reasons. Here’s a list of twelve reasons:

  1. Cognitive Organization: Making lists requires categorizing and organizing thoughts, showcasing the ability to structure information mentally.
  2. Prioritization Skills: Lists often involve ranking items in order of importance, demonstrating the ability to prioritize tasks or goals effectively.
  3. Memory Enhancement: Writing things down helps in encoding information, aiding memory recall and reducing the cognitive load.
  4. Time Management: Lists assist in planning and scheduling, reflecting an awareness of time constraints and the importance of efficient time management.
  5. Goal Setting: Creating lists often involves setting specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals, a key aspect of intelligent goal-setting.
  6. Task Completion Tracking: Lists provide a visual representation of progress, allowing individuals to track completed tasks and gain a sense of accomplishment.
  7. Clarity of Thought: Organizing thoughts into a list format can enhance clarity and understanding, facilitating more effective communication.
  8. Decision-Making Aid: Lists can serve as decision-making tools, helping individuals weigh options and make informed choices based on clear criteria.
  9. Stress Reduction: Having a list can alleviate stress by breaking down complex tasks into manageable steps, making daunting projects seem more achievable.
  10. Adaptability: Lists can be easily modified and updated, reflecting adaptability and flexibility in responding to changing circumstances.
  11. Effective Communication: The ability to convey information concisely and systematically through lists indicates strong communication skills, a hallmark of intelligence.
  12. Self-Awareness: Creating lists requires self-reflection and an understanding of personal priorities, showcasing a high level of self-awareness and introspection.

In summary, making lists involves a combination of cognitive skills, organizational abilities, and effective communication, all of which are associated with high intelligence and a well-organized mindset.

Exhibit 2

Making lists is a sign of dementia.

Can making lists be a symptom of dementia or low IQ? Please create a list of reasons why this might be the case.

While making lists is generally associated with positive cognitive traits, in certain situations, it might not be indicative of high intelligence. Here’s a list of reasons why making lists could potentially be a symptom of dementia or low IQ:

  1. Difficulty in Sequential Thinking: Individuals with cognitive impairments, such as dementia, may struggle with organizing thoughts sequentially, leading to a reliance on lists as a compensatory strategy.
  2. Memory Impairment: Memory loss is a common symptom of dementia, and individuals may use lists as external memory aids to compensate for their cognitive challenges.
  3. Lack of Cognitive Flexibility: People with lower cognitive abilities might find it challenging to adapt their thinking and strategies, resulting in a rigid dependence on lists as a coping mechanism.
  4. Inability to Prioritize: Difficulty in discerning priorities and setting goals could lead to a constant need for external cues, like lists, to guide actions.
  5. Executive Functioning Deficits: Executive functions, which include skills like planning, organizing, and initiating tasks, can be compromised in individuals with lower cognitive abilities, necessitating the use of lists.
  6. Limited Problem-Solving Skills: Those with lower IQ may struggle with problem-solving and decision-making, relying on lists to guide them through tasks instead of independently navigating challenges.
  7. Reduced Ability to Synthesize Information: Lower cognitive abilities may hinder the capacity to synthesize information, leading to a reliance on lists as a way to break down complex concepts into simpler components.
  8. Difficulty with Abstract Thinking: Creating mental frameworks and abstract thinking might be challenging for individuals with lower cognitive abilities, making lists a more concrete and accessible method of organization.
  9. Impaired Verbal Communication: Difficulties in expressing thoughts verbally might lead to a preference for written lists as a means of clearer communication.
  10. Limited Working Memory: People with lower cognitive abilities may have a reduced working memory capacity, making it harder to hold and manipulate information mentally, hence relying on external aids like lists.
  11. Attention Deficits: Dementia and certain cognitive conditions may lead to attention deficits, making it challenging to focus on tasks without external prompts like lists.
  12. Decreased Initiative: Lower motivation and initiative, common in some cases of cognitive decline, may result in a dependence on lists for guidance rather than independent decision-making.

It’s important to note that while these points suggest potential reasons, they are not definitive indicators. Making lists alone is not diagnostic of dementia or low IQ; a comprehensive assessment by healthcare professionals is necessary for an accurate evaluation of cognitive functioning.

Which of the AI experts is correct?

Look at those 2 explanations and feel free to leave a comment weighing in on the question: “List making, is it good or bad?”

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel