Tag Archives: aging

Life is choked with transitions.

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Hallway of transitions
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Life is choked with transitions.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist, Counselor, and Certified Life Coach.

Over the last few years, my practice as a therapist and counselor has shifted. Some of that is because of COVID and learning to work remotely online, doing telehealth. I’ve found that my practice has shifted from working mainly with young people starting out in life to serving an ever-increasing number of older people.

I hesitate to call these people elderly since most of them are younger than me, but I’m sure that I am the exception that proves the rule. I feel fortunate that, despite being 77 years old, I can still work and be productive.

Two things stand out in my online practice, which are different from what I saw when I worked for the county or in an office in private practice. I am seeing far fewer children or couples, and many more single adults and older adults. While the specific mental health diagnoses vary a great deal, what I see most often is people struggling with life’s transitions.

When the challenges life throws at you are overwhelming, you’re very likely to develop high anxiety, severe depression, a substance use disorder, or some kind of dysfunctional behavior.

For better or worse, I have personally gone through a pretty large number of life transitions. I tell my clients that I have learned a lot more about life’s problems, particularly aging, than I ever wanted to know. I’ve spent a lot of time studying the challenge of transitioning from one thing to another, both by reading the research and by living the experience.

I mentioned these things not because I want anyone to feel sorry for me, but because I’ve developed a special sensitivity to the role that transitions play in all our lives.

There are certainly developmental transitions, and some people experience difficulty navigating those. Progressing through school involves its share of developmental challenges. Graduating, whether it’s from high school or college, and then entering the workforce can be a major transition for many people. In my role as a clinical counselor, I have studied career counseling and the challenges of finding the right job. That task deserves an entire series of posts.

Getting into and out of relationships involves a great many painful as well as joyous transitions. I believe that the increasing lifespan has led to more people ending one relationship and starting another than at any other time in human history. I intend to talk about the changing nature of human relationships in an upcoming post.

At some point, most of us will go through conflicts with our spouses, and some people will experience breakups or divorces. If you live long enough, you may experience the death of a spouse. An increasing number of family members are struggling with a loved one who is in Hospice and dying, or living in a long-term care facility. There’s also the transition of the person who loses individual functioning. Dementia has become more common and causes a great deal of suffering both for the person with dementia and for those who encounter the dementia sufferer.

For something to be considered a mental illness, it has to affect a person in four basic areas. If your problem interferes with social functioning, your ability to have relationships with family and friends, including your romantic partner, then it’s a reason for your problems to be considered a mental illness. Any problem which is severe enough to interfere with occupational functioning is also diagnosable. By occupation, we don’t just mean paid employment. We also would include school or the duties of parenting if that were a full-time activity.

The third criterion for diagnosing someone with a mental illness is that it causes them subjective distress. If something is so upsetting to you that you just can’t stand it, and the pain of this event or condition is unbearable, then we call that a mental illness. And lastly but not least, if what you’re dealing with interferes with your ability to function in some other area that is important to you, even if it is a hobby or a recreational activity, it may qualify as a mental health diagnosis.

From that brief description of reasons why something might be diagnosed, I think we can all see that transitions or changes in any one of those areas can be overwhelming.

Eventually, I will probably get around to discussing most, if not all, of these issues. But being very action-oriented, I thought I’d start with a brief description of what I understand to be the main ways in which people cope with and sometimes overcome the challenges of life’s transitions.

The next stop in our journey of understanding the nature of life transitions and how to overcome them will be a brief review of the two major theories about how to navigate life transitions.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Recently, I began working with a telehealth company called Grow Therapy. If you’d like to make an appointment to work with me, contact them, and they can do the required paperwork and show you my available appointments. The link for making an appointment to talk with me is: David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC 

Life coaching clients must be working toward a specific problem-solving goal. Coaching is not appropriate if you have a diagnosable mental health problem. Also, life coaching is not covered by insurance. If you think life coaching for creativity or other life goals might be right for you, contact me directly.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Wrapping up 2025 and my life

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Changing your life

Time for a life change?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Wrapping up 2025 and my life.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist, Counselor, and Certified Life Coach.

There is less than a week to go in 2025, and I’m already thinking about all those things I wanted to do this year that didn’t get done. I’m also very mindful of all the things I hadn’t planned on that I did, or that happened to me.

Since I was born before 1950, I’m painfully aware that the century of my birthday disappeared long before I was ready to leave it and that my time on earth may well be running out. That started me thinking about the meaning of life and all the things that I have learned while making this journey.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m in no rush to exit this earth. I have told my romantic partner that I have definite plans for my 100th birthday and that she is an essential part of those plans.

There are two contrary forces setting the course of our lives as we age. We have that process of constantly learning new things and having new experiences. At the same time, aging results in some very necessary losses.

Having passed my 75th birthday and rapidly approaching my 80th, I am acutely aware that some things will become more difficult and some things may well become impossible. I’m not especially resigned to that process.

I have told my clients over the last year, and those few friends who will listen, that I have been learning far more about the process of getting old than I ever wanted to know. Entering is just the most recent change in a long string of life changes I’ve experienced. Because people are living longer and the percentage of older people in the population has been growing, there’s more notice being paid to these issues. Still, the principles involved in undergoing change are remarkably similar regardless of what change you are experiencing.

Within that process of aging, each person undergoes certain transitions. Of course, the process of undergoing transitions is not limited to the old or the almost old. The events that happened during COVID. Since roughly 2020, the process of transitional change has accelerated.

In my work as a therapist and counselor, many of my clients are undergoing life transitions. I wanted to get a head start on the blog posts for the year 2026 with this introductory post. During the coming year, as time permits and as my own life transitions allow, I want to talk some more about transitions, navigating those transitions, and, as always, how to have the best life possible.

Life essentially is one transition after another. Each person undergoes transitions as they move from one age group to another. Some people move from house to house or even from family to family. It’s common to move from school to school. And in this process, we undergo a series of new relationships.

Life will also bring economic transitions. There are major life milestones like graduation from school, job and career changes, and achieving certain privileges, such as a driver’s license. Somewhere in the later years, a time we rarely want to think about until it’s forced upon us, sooner or later, most of us will lose abilities and those privileges we worked so hard to achieve.

I thought I would recap for you what I’ve learned about navigating life’s transitions, from my own experiences, the experiences of my clients, and the books and research I have read. Forgive me if this doesn’t progress smoothly and if I take some detours into areas of knowledge I think might be useful to others undergoing one of life’s transitions. Along the way, I would like to share some of the lessons I’ve learned, in the hope that they might be helpful to someone else who is moving along life’s journey.

If any of these topics are relevant to you or to someone in your life, I hope you’ll read these blog posts and share your comments.

Best wishes to everyone in the year 2026 and beyond.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Recently, I began working with a telehealth company called Grow Therapy. If you’d like to make an appointment to work with me, contact them, and they can do the required paperwork and show you my available appointments. The link for making an appointment to talk with me is: David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC. 

Life coaching clients must be working toward a specific problem-solving goal. Coaching is not appropriate if you have a diagnosable mental health problem. Also, life coaching is not covered by insurance. If you think life coaching for creativity or other life goals might be right for you, contact me directly.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller.

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel.

The perspective of age

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The perspective of age
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

The perspective of age.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

Things look different as you drive farther down life’s road.

When I’ve gone on long trips, I’ve noticed that the mountains off in the distance don’t seem that far away, but after driving for several hours, those mountains don’t appear to be getting any closer. It’s not until you get to the foothills and start climbing up and down, and up again, that you begin to experience going over those mountains for real. The journey of life is a lot like that trip. As you age, things will look differently.

Your perspective will change as you live life.

I remember being young and anxious to grow up. Getting some of the pleasures of adulthood seemed very attractive. I remember how important it was to me to get first, my learner’s permit and then my driver’s license. Now that I’m past 70, I must retake the driving test in person. I know the numbers are different in other states, but the principle is the same. Eventually, when you get old, you start to lose some things you have become accustomed to.

Moving from one grade to another seemed like such a huge accomplishment. Leaving elementary school for middle school was a giant step. Leaving middle school for high school opened up new horizons. Then came college and graduate school.

When I was young, there was so much to do.

When I finally graduated from high school, the road suddenly took a sharp turn. I hadn’t seen all of the obstacles that would loom ahead of me in life while I rode along on the educational train. Suddenly, I face the challenge of finding a job or going to college. I have embraced lifelong learning, having gone to school for more than 70 years, both as a student and as faculty. Some semesters, I’ve been both taking a class and teaching one. I do a little bit of life coaching in addition to my counseling and therapy work, and I find coaching a lot like teaching a class only to one student at a time.

Only one of my four grandparents had graduated from high school. I don’t believe I had known anyone other than my teachers who had been to college. My conversations about going to college consisted of about fifteen minutes with a high school counselor who wanted to know what college I planned to attend.

With no real plan other than a love of learning, I enrolled at the community college more to avoid giving up going to school than because I understood what college would involve or how having a degree might affect the rest of my life.

Along the road of life, the scenery changed.

First, I got married. Then I went looking for a job. The next thing I knew, I was a father working to support my wife and child. Along that road, there were twists and turns. I got old enough to drink alcohol. Being twenty-one meant I was an adult.

Eventually, I discovered that being an adult meant watching my child grow up, get married, and see my grandchild be born. I also discovered that being an adult meant realizing my drinking was causing me problems and required me to break up with my long-term friend, Ethel, ethyl alcohol.

Growing old is not synonymous with growing up.

Growing old largely depends on the number of trips you make around the sun. Each year, the Earth makes one long rotation around that sun. I think that after a certain number of trips, you start to get dizzy, and it feels like each succeeding trip is moving more rapidly.

Looking back on my life, I realize the tremendous number of things I have had to learn and an even larger number of things I could have learned but haven’t mastered yet. The growing old part is relatively easy. The growing up part, that is hard. Despite being past retirement age, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

The body becomes high mileage as you age.

I like to think of my body as a vintage car. All the parts are still there, and they work most of the time, but they don’t always work as well as they used to, and sometimes, more than one part is giving me problems at the same time.

The longer you live, the more wear and tear there is on your body. I feel undeservedly lucky that despite my poor care of my body, I am in as good a shape as I am at this age. Eventually, the body begins to accumulate problems. Some people must face more medical challenges than others. Things that were only minor inconveniences can turn into major health challenges.

One thing you see from the perspective of age is that more and more of your life is behind you, and less is ahead. The biggest regrets for most people when they grow old are the things they always wanted to do but never found the time for. Try to live your life so that you have a minimum of regrets when you get to the end.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay counseling and therapy clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Recently, I began working with a telehealth company called Grow Therapy. If you’d like to make an appointment to work with me, contact them, and they can do the required paperwork and show you my available appointments. The link for making an appointment to talk with me is David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC. 

Life coaching clients must be working toward a specific problem-solving goal. Coaching is not appropriate if you have a diagnosable mental health problem. Also, life coaching is not covered by insurance. If you think coaching for creativity or other life goals might be right for you, contact me directly.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller.

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Are you an indoor mountain climber?

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Are you an indoor mountain climber?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Are you an indoor mountain climber?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

I think of myself as an indoor mountain climber.

As a child, I was sick a lot and was always skinny. I was not particularly good at sports, but that didn’t keep me from seeking out challenges. I don’t especially like cold and snow or heat and dehydration either, for that matter. Skinning my knuckles, breaking bones, or falling long distances to the rocks below has never particularly appealed to me.

When I first began applying the mountain climber metaphor to my life, I was thinking mainly of intellectual and creative challenges. More recently, I have begun to see how the idea of starting from nothing, achieving some level of success in a particular field, and eventually watching my abilities decline as I aged might be an apt metaphor for the entire process of living life.

My interest in intellectual challenges began in elementary school.

I think one of the great turning points in my life was the time my class went on a field trip to the school library. All the other students seemed to know just how to select a book. I had come from a home with virtually no books. What few books we had in our household were religious volumes, not especially suited for a child.

As the other students checked their books out, my teacher watched me with looks somewhere between annoyance and downright anger. Finally, in desperation, the teacher walked over, pulled a book off the shelf, and handed it to me. That book, part of the Laura Ingalls Wilder Little House on the Prairie series, got me started on nonstop reading.

In the early grades, I devoured largely fiction.

Throughout most of my elementary and middle school years, books were my primary friend. I recall several years when I read one book a day on average. Those books were largely escape fiction, and they fueled many of the constant daydreams I explored when I was supposed to be listening to the teacher in class.

In high school, teachers sparked my curiosity about nonfiction topics.

Gradually, I began to read about more and more subjects. Whether I started with the love of learning or it developed in me as a result of reading so many varied books, I can’t be sure. But what I am sure of is that while I struggled with the required subjects in high school, I developed a strong interest in pursuing whatever eclectic subject most interested me.

My college career resembles a hike across an unexplored continent.

I have said many times, and I’m only half joking, that I have been going to school for over 70 years. College extended from the time I was 18 until the present day when I am 76. Throughout most of that time, I have been taking classes, teaching classes, or often doing both at the very same time.

Along the way, my majors have changed repeatedly.

I have, in no particular order, studied natural history, art, business, economics, psychology, both normal and abnormal and a host of other topics too long to list here. But what I mainly discovered was that among my top character strengths were, love of learning, curiosity, and creativity. I am happiest when I am learning something new and sharing it with others, something that gives my life meaning and purpose.

Sixty-plus years later, my interest returned to fiction when I started to write my own novels. For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

Sitting safely at my desk, I seek out challenges.

Now, in my seventy-sixth year on this planet, I continue to think of myself as an indoor mountain climber. The mountain climber metaphor applies to a lot of people. Some people invest in stocks, and others invest in vintage cars. Your meaning and purpose in life may lie in discovering a new bacteria, proposing a new theory of economics, or learning to rebuild an engine. Most any pursuit can be worthy if it interests you and doesn’t harm others. That not harming others, therein lies the rub.

The process of aging looks a lot like the process of climbing a mountain.

Recently, I realized that mountain climbing as a metaphor not only fits the pursuit of new knowledge and skills but it also fits many of the things that have happened to me, and that seem to happen to almost everyone as we grow older. I can’t say that I’m an expert on geriatrics. I’ve purposely avoided learning more about that topic than I had to. But recent events, both personally and professionally, have forced me to learn a lot more about some of the things that might happen mentally and physically as I and others accumulate more trips around the sun.

When time permits, I want to tell you about how my life of pursuing various goals has affected my way of looking at the process of aging.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Recently, I began working with a telehealth company called Grow Therapy. If you’d like to make an appointment to work with me, contact them, and they can do the required paperwork and show you my available appointments. The link for making an appointment to talk with me is: David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC 

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

I feel like a fifth grader again

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Technology
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

I feel like a fifth grader again.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

Rapidly changing technology makes me feel like an overwhelmed fifth grader.

Last week, I sat at my keyboard and experienced an overwhelming desire to break down and cry. I haven’t felt this overwhelmed and helpless since my elementary school days. Being a senior citizen, I have a lot of life experiences, and being a professional counselor, I have a lot of tools at my disposal. Still, sometimes the frustration gets so bad the only conceivable response is to act as immaturely as possible. Let me tell you about my growing frustration with the tech gods.

Recently, I’ve been struggling more than usual to keep up with rapidly evolving technology. Ever since the start of the Covid epidemic, when we moved to remote technology, I have been struggling to catch up. The upward curve of technological change turned into a vertical wall and is now an overhanging cliff.

I thought I was doing reasonably well. I moved the lecture materials between blackboard, canvas, and canvas companion with the adept skill of a fire juggler. I’ve learned to turn my lecture material into PowerPoints and my PowerPoints into videos. I have even established a YouTube channel so those videos are available continuously around the clock.

Despite some struggles, I’ve managed to keep my primary mental health blog going and occasionally add some posts to my writer’s blog. And through all this, I have written and published seven books. I thought I was doing reasonably well. Then, the avalanche of tech changes collapsed on top of me.

Let me tell you a parable about an overwhelmed ten-year-old.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far, away from sunny California, in a rural area where people ignored troublesome laws, there lived a sheltered, naïve ten-year-old boy. His family’s largest claim to fame was the mass quantities of ethyl alcohol, which they frequently consumed. One particular older male habitually consumed alcohol to the state of extreme incapacitation.

On this particular night, it was imperative that the man who could no longer walk on two legs and was having difficulty crawling on all fours somehow reached home before he froze to death in the snow. Hence, the patriarch of this story decided to have his ten-year-old son drive him back across the open fields to the farmhouse. What follows is my vague remembrance of the conversation between the father and son.

“Son, you gots to drive me home,” The old man said.

“But Dad, I don’t know how to drive,” the boy said.

“It for to is easy, I teaches you how. Here, tase these keys.”

“Now what?”

“Get in car and drive.”

“I can’t get in. The door is locked,” the boy said.

“Unlock the door.”

“How do I do that?”

“Stick the keys in the lock.”

“I put the key in the lock, but the door still won’t open.”

“Did you turn the key?”

“I have to turn the key?”

“Yes, yous got to turn the key.”

“I turned the key around, but the other end won’t fit.”

“Here, Leslie, me dooes it.”

At this point, the conversation is terminated when the patriarch falls face down in the snow, and their connection is terminated. If we were to wait several hours for the older gentleman to regain consciousness, we could listen in on the continuing conversation as the young man struggles to figure out how to put the key into the ignition, put the car into gear, and then drive across the open field without ending up in the ditch. I hope you can see how totally frustrating this might be to the young boy.

Fast forward sixty-five years later.

Four emails arrived in one day, all indicating that the protocols for logging into email accounts have been changed. Each of the four companies the boy, now an elderly adult, works for has decided to change their login, password, and security system. Each has changed in a different direction using different outside vendors.

“Tech support. How can I help you?” The tech bot says.

“I’m having trouble logging into my account.” The man says.

“Did you download the login app? You need to download the login app.” Click.

What download app? The old man asks. Only to be greeted by silence and, finally, the hum of the dial tone.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. If I am hearing a dial tone this is not a cell phone. Click. Again.

Minutes later the man connects with tech support.

“Did you download the login app?” Tech support says.

“What’s an app?” The old man replies. Click.

Clearly, this conversation is going nowhere.

A five-year-old gets to cry.

What does a seventy-five-year-old man get to do?

The old man calls tech service again after struggling for several hours to download the Bloody app.

“I can’t get into my login app. What do I do?”

“What kind of authenticator are you using?”

“What’s an authenticator?” The old man asks. Click.

Imagine that this scenario repeats itself four times with four different vendors.

I don’t have to imagine this. That sort of scenario seems to be happening to me on a regular basis.

I think I could catch up if they would just stop changing things.

How about you? Are you having trouble keeping up with technology?

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Avoiding the Grim Reaper.

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Avoiding the Grim Reaper
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Avoiding the Grim Reaper.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

The Grim Reaper’s handiwork is everywhere.

Being one of those older people, I become increasingly conscious of the Grim Reaper and his handiwork. For those unfamiliar with this persona, the Grim Reaper is that long-standing picture of the ways of death stocks humankind just waiting for his opportunity to take one of us.

There was a time in history when the Grim Reaper frequently passed through the human village. I read that in the early eighteen hundreds in the American Midwest, as many as 30% of the people in a town might die every spring. We had a variety of names for the Grim Reaper’s tools. Sometimes, we would call it cholera, yellow fever, scarlet fever, or tuberculosis.

When I was a young person, the Grim Reaper frequently used the disease named polio, which left his victims unable to breathe until they finally died. I remember being among one of the very early groups to receive the polio vaccine, and gradually, this disease, like so many others, disappeared from the front pages of the news.

Gradually, the specter of the Grim Reaper’s nightly visit faded. Rather than a fear of diseases, we have come to fear wars, guns, gun violence, and those various diseases that were uncommon simply because humans had the good sense to die before reaching old age. In some parts of the world, this taker of life still uses wars and famine to reap his harvest.

Covid and other new evolving diseases have ripped the mask off the Grim Reaper.

Covid was definitely a shock to those of us who thought that modern medicine had largely tamed the area of infectious diseases, leaving the Grim Reaper to work only through the disorders of the elderly. Eventually, I expected that cancer, dementia, or some other disease of aging would get me. But if you were like me, you were totally unprepared for the onslaught of Covid and other new infectious diseases.

My strategies for keeping ahead of the Grim Reaper.

For most of my life, I simply ignored the Grim Reaper and lived my life as if Death would have difficulty finding me. I did take some simple precautions. I will describe here my choices and I am not trying to make a political statement about what I think others should do. Personally, I always wear my seatbelt when in the car. I get my vaccines. And when my doctor prescribed some medication for me, I attempt to take it as prescribed.

Beyond those simple precautions, as I have accumulated additional birthdays, I have begun to pay more attention to things I can do to maintain my physical health. Some of those supposed remedies have proven to be either allusive or ineffective.

One thing I have tried to do is to keep moving as much as possible. I think being active certainly keeps me out of the reach of the Grim Reaper for longer than sitting on the couch waiting for his visit. I recently underwent surgery for a problem I had neglected a great many years, and this forced me to take a further look at other things I might do to improve my health.

Walking appears to be mandatory for humans.

After my surgery, my doctor suggested that I should be walking at least 8000 steps a day. I believe that’s a reduction from the previous prescription of 10,000 steps per day. Initially, I thought this would be impossible, but I started with the modest goal of walking 4000 steps per day, which proved quite doable. Over time, I’ve increased that goal and am now routinely walking 4 miles per day, and on a good day, I may walk six or 7 miles.

Walking every day won’t keep me out of the Grim Reaper’s grip forever, but I’m going to make him work to catch up with me.

There is another significant benefit of walking.

I have read repeatedly, and I’ve told many clients my conclusion that walking outdoors, particularly where there are trees and greenery, improves your mental health. Walking outdoors for 15 to 20 minutes a day, five days or more per week, is just as effective at treating depression as taking some antidepressant medications.

Please, however, if you are currently on an antidepressant, don’t stop taking it and turn to walking. Antidepressant discontinuation syndrome, problems you will experience if you suddenly stop taking your medication, is a very real thing. Talk to your doctor before you stop any medication. However, I believe that in addition to medication, changes in behavior, such as walking and changes in thinking, which come from therapy, all work together to reduce depression and may also benefit many other mental health problems.

My attempt to lose weight was delusional.

Somewhere I had gotten the idea that I should lose weight. In fact, three doctors in a row had suggested that I needed to control my weight. Not that it was seriously out of control, but over the years, my weight gradually crept up from being a skinny person first to normal and then to being overweight. My past efforts to lose weight were ineffective, probably because I thought about it while sitting in my desk chair eating a package of cookies.

I somehow mistakenly thought that all this extra walking I had begun to do would miraculously result in weight loss. It didn’t. What it may well have done is convert some of the fat I had into muscles.

On a recent visit to the doctor, I told him I had tried losing weight but to no avail. His answer was that he no longer thought I should attempt to lose weight. I read now that older people, presumably those beyond retirement age, may actually be somewhat healthier if they are slightly above the BMI suggestions for normal weight.

It turns out that all people fall; some of them fall a lot, and a few extra pounds can be some padding. This is certainly no excuse if your blood sugar is out of control, but barring type II diabetes, I think a few extra pounds are not a problem for someone my age. Don’t take my word for this; however, make sure you consult with your personal physician.

Eating a healthy diet has proved to be more elusive.

I’m definitely not a nutritionist and hesitate to give you any advice in this area. I have learned, however, that becoming overly concerned about your diet in your past retirement life may be a mistake. Nutrition is a whole lot more complicated than switching to only eating vegetables. Balance in nutrition is just as important as it is in many other parts of our lives. Some of those foods we think of as unhealthy” when eaten in small amounts, may be beneficial for maintaining a balanced diet. My suggestion is not to go on a crash diet, trying to eat healthy and end up with nutritional deficiencies. Talk to your doctor or a nutritionist before you eliminate food from your diet that you have been eating for a long time.

So those are some of my thoughts and experiences now that I’ve reached a point in life where I am focusing more on trying to stay healthy and keep my life in balance. Comments are welcome. Hope you will continue to read this blog.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

My Scary Encounter with the Department of Motor Vehicles

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My Scary Encounter with the Department of Motor Vehicles
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

My Scary Encounter with the Department of Motor Vehicles

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

The longer I live the more challenging life has become.

Recently, I was forced to confront the fact that I have gotten somewhat older. I have been putting off calling myself a senior citizen. Even though it’s not politically correct, I continue to refer to myself as an “old person.” For some reason, I’m resisting the term senior citizen. Maybe it’s because I’m so old that I’m stuck in my ways. In the interest of full disclosure here, I will turn seventy-six in the early days of 2024. I think seventy-six qualifies as an old guy.

Has the earth begun to move more rapidly?

Everything about life seems to be moving at an accelerating pace. I realize that one possibility might be that I am moving more slowly. But I’m doing my best to keep up. I think I do pretty well for an old guy, considering I am still working somewhere near full-time. I do write a blog, and I do have a YouTube channel. I did need to use the services of some technical consultants. One of my interns showed me how to answer a text message. And a preschooler has been teaching me how to stream videos. Even with the help of some younger people, it’s still getting harder to keep up.

Why did the rules keep changing?

One of the major challenges of adding more trips around the sun to your total is that the rules of life keep changing. Recently, I received a letter from the nice folks at the California Department of Motor Vehicles, informing me that since I was past seventy, I would need to take a written test at the DMV to renew my license. No more mail or online renewals for me. This struck terror in my heart.

What does an old academic do when faced with a challenge?

Of course, the first thing I did was go online and locate a copy of the current driving rules. I was flabbergasted to find out that they had significantly changed the driver’s handbook since I passed my first written test in 1964. Warning here: beware of online guides to passing your driver’s test. Even though I typed “California driver’s exam” into the search bar, I discovered some of the answers they taught me do not apply to California.

What new rules did I need to learn about?

It seems quite a bit of new content has been added to the driver’s handbook since I first learned to drive. I’ll only give you a short summary here.

Bicycle lanes.

I don’t remember anything about bicycle lanes in the driver’s handbooks from the nineteen sixties. If it was there, it wasn’t important. I was learning how to drive, after all. I had been riding a bicycle for ten or twelve years by this point. What was new and surprising were all the rules about when a motor vehicle could enter a bike lane. Bikes have lanes?

Some other things they snuck in just to confuse me.

Most of these changes in the rules came on, so gradually, I simply learned how to cope with them by watching what other people were doing and driving each day. But when it came to passing a written test on these changes in the law, I discovered I really needed to study.

For example, what are the rules applying to roundabouts? What are those blue signs and those blue zones? Of course, I knew about blue zones from having had a family member with a disabled parking permit, but the blue signs, they were a mystery.

I also discovered that there is a new sign appearing on the back of slow-moving vehicles. Apparently, we need to be told that horse-drawn carriages move more slowly than motor vehicles. I didn’t think I needed to be told that with that special sign since I remembered that they were on the roads first, and those of us driving vehicles came later.

Are all the stoners being discriminated against?

As I have aged, I’ve given up a lot of things. Among them are alcohol, drugs, and staying up past midnight. But do you realize that now the use of marijuana is included in the driver’s handbook? Just like open containers of alcohol, possession of an open container of marijuana is not permitted in a motor vehicle. Who knew?

Staying relevant can be quite a challenge as you age.

I felt pretty good that I could use the terminal to take my written driving test. Some people who were ten years younger than me needed to use the written test. And I did pass on my first try. One poor young man, probably barely past seventy, who was ahead of me in line, had just failed his written test for the third time.

I shouldn’t feel too cocky, however. I had just come to the DMV from picking up my new glasses. I now have one pair of glasses for looking at computer screens and a second set specifically for driving.

I have to feel sorry for the clerks at DMV. As hard as it must be for some of us senior citizens to be told our days of driving are coming to an end, it must be very hard for the employees to have to tell someone they can’t renew their license. All the people I talked with that day who worked at DMV were very kind and courteous. But the experience does serve as a reminder to me that the day may be coming when I will not be able to do some of the things, I used to be able to do.

Compared to DMV, my encounters with the technology people over the last few weeks suggest that some of the ghouls, fiends, and sadists who were unemployed after Halloween had moved into the technology sector. But that is a topic for another post.

In the meantime, try to have the best life possible, whatever that may mean to you.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Retired

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Retirement
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com   

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.”

― Betty White

“Whether we’re a preschooler or a young teen, a graduating college senior or a retired person, we human beings all want to know that we’re acceptable, that our being alive somehow makes a difference in the lives of others.”

― Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

 “For it is in your power to retire into yourself whenever you choose.”

― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

As we are about to retire the year 2021, I thought now was a good time for this post. I personally have no intention of retiring, so long as I have more life left in me. As we move into the new year, I hope you will continue to read some of the things I write and find them useful.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Growing Old

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Growing old picture of books

Growing Old – photo courtesy of Pixabay

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

As the year comes to an end, I thought this was an excellent time to look at this topic.

“We are always the same age inside.”

― Gertrude Stein

“The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.”

― H.L. Mencken

“Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”

― Betty Friedan

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.

Inspiration

Aging.

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Aging.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Aging

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”

― C.S. Lewis

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”

― Mark Twain

“When I was your age, television was called books.”

― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.

Inspiration