What happens when you get stressed out?

Stressed out

Stressed Out.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

What happens when you get stressed out?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist, Counselor, and Certified Life Coach.

Experiencing stress is universal.

It’s not just humans that experience stress. The experience of stress seems to affect all animals, and in highly similar ways. How you handle those feelings of stress and the long-term results can vary from individual to individual. Life transitions can be especially stressful.

In populations of animals that are under stress, illness, and mortality rates go up. The same thing happens to humans. What varies from person to person can be which of the common reactions to stress are most prominent, and what are the subsequent results. Let’s begin with a list of the common reactions and see how many of these might be familiar to you.

The difference between stress and anxiety.

Stress is that automatic response to danger. Anxiety is the fear we get that something bad is about to happen. Stress can produce anxiety, and anxiety could be stressful, but the ways in which you manage these two emotions are different. In later sections, I’ll talk about ways of coping with both stress and anxiety and how to differentiate the two.

The 4F’s of stress response.

Common immediate physiological responses to stress are sometimes described as the 4F’s. We seem to share these immediate responses with all other vertebrates. Even little lizards will respond in these ways when frightened or stressed.

Robert Sapolsky, in his book Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, describes the response of a zebra to suddenly seeing a lion coming their way. I’ll borrow a little of that description here just to give you an idea.

Do you freeze up when under stress?

Anything that startles you or stresses you may cause you to freeze up. It’s an immediate and initial response. Police officers must be overtrained so that when they pull their gun, they can make an instant decision. Freezing up in those kinds of crisis situations could result in an officer’s death.

When you’re stressed out, do you end up speechless? Is your first response confusion? Don’t think you’re alone. Stress is like an automatic circuit breaker, temporarily shutting down your nervous system, giving you time to think about the situation and decide what you want to do.

What would the zebra do? They would freeze up, hoping that the lion would think they were a rock and walk on by. But that freeze only lasts for a few seconds, and then, without even thinking, the second of the 4F’s kicks in.

Does stress make you flee?

The nervous system of our poor zebra, now under stress, begins to secrete large amounts of stress hormones. The blood flow to the zebra’s brain is now redirected to the four legs. Zebra is ready to run away at top speed.

Additionally, the hormones cause the zebra’s bowel and bladder to open up, dropping all that undigested grass and urine on the ground and lightening the load.

Under stress, do you become confused or have difficulty thinking? Do you sometimes feel you have an upset stomach and need to go to the bathroom? You’re feeling the same symptoms of stress that the zebra would feel, and so do all other vertebrae.

Under stress, do you fight?

Now our zebra is up against the rocks, and the lion is still coming. The zebra’s instinctive response is to kick as hard as possible at the lion’s head. That zebra might well be thinking, “lion, if you’re going to try to eat me, I’m going to hurt you really bad.”  The zebra now kicks at the lion’s head, and if he is lucky enough to hit the lion in the eye, the lion may run away in pain.

We humans, when under stress, often feel an overwhelming urge to strike back at the person or thing that is stressing us. Sometimes we do that physically, and other times we may do it symbolically by saying nasty things or acting out in other ways.

Do you look for friends or romantic partners when under stress?

The last of the 4F’s has been described by several authors and goes by several names. It is sometimes described as flirt, friend, or fornicate. Under stress, most vertebrae will seek out others of their own kind either for sexual activity, to pass on their genes before they die, or for friendship and affiliation to comfort themselves.

Learning to recognize the symptoms of stress can help you cope.

Becoming aware that you are under stress and recognizing some of the common responses to stress can help reduce the impact on your body and your mind. Over the long term, continuing stress can be damaging both to your body and to your mental health.

Think about the ways in which you can learn to better cope with chronic stress and the things you might be able to do to change the situation.

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Recently, I began working with a telehealth company called Grow Therapy. If you’d like to make an appointment to work with me, contact them, and they can do the required paperwork and show you my available appointments. The link for making an appointment to talk with me is: David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC 

Life coaching clients must be working toward a specific problem-solving goal. Coaching is not appropriate if you have a diagnosable mental health problem. Also, life coaching is not covered by insurance. If you think life coaching for creativity or other life goals might be right for you, contact me directly.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Friendship.

Sunday Inspiration.          Post by David Joel Miller.

Friendship.

Friendship.

Friendship.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend.”

― Robert Louis Stevenson

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”

― Elbert Hubbard

“Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?”

― Abraham Lincoln

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Friendship

Sunday Inspiration    Post By David Joel Miller.

Friend.

Friendship

Friendship
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”

― Elbert Hubbard

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Sunday seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you please share them.

What is this thing we call friendship? Being and having friends

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Friendship.

Friendship.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Hard to define, easy to know when you have it, this thing called friendship.

Reflecting today on this thing we call friendship that means so many different things to each of us. Today on this day we call a “day off” I had the chance to read some of the posts by other bloggers. A recurrent theme was about friendships, what they mean, and how we know if we are a good friend or if we have one.

No relationship is so important, so needed and so misunderstood as friendship. When we have friends we may wonder if they are worth the effort, but when we are without them even briefly we wish they were here.

Friends are not here on earth like a prepaid credit card to use when we need them. There are those people who treat or mistreat others in the name of friendship by constantly asking from them and then being unwilling to reciprocate.

Friendship is of course not ever fully reciprocal. The more you struggle in life the more you need friends. What is reciprocal is the caring about each other, not the doing for each other.

Anyone who seeks out a friend for what they can do for you is being short-sighted and probably abusive. The things friends do give us are intangibles that can’t be measured in money or acts. A friend cares about you when you can’t care about yourself. They love you, sometimes because of, not in spite of, your flaws.

True friends do not keep ledgers. Friendship is not a trade. They do not do 3 things for you because you did 3 things for them. Friendship is about caring sometimes even when you can’t do anything for that friend except care.

Friendships usually start around shared experiences and time spent together. We go to school together and we become friends. We work together and we become friends. We may have church friends, club friends, or blogger friends.

Real friendship grows beyond those shared activities. Many of us have been blessed to have friends with whom we keep up relationships long after the time to share an activity has ended. People in their senior years tell me about friends they have had since kindergarten. Somehow these friendships survive years of separation punctuated only by an occasional greeting card or email.

Some couples describe their mates as their best friends. The best romantic relationships often include two people who were friends first. Some couples even fall out of love but not out of friendship.

There is nothing lonelier than a person without friends. Family, you are stuck with but friends you chose and they chose you.

Life is a journey. We move along in time as well as space. Along that route, we meet friends. Some friends are with us for only part of the journey and others, their path crosses ours repeatedly throughout our lifetime.

To have friends it has been said, we must first be a friend. Being that friend takes effort. It means investing in that relationship.

If you have friends you know how very important and necessary they are. If you have few or no friends you most likely already know what is missing. What you may not know is how to go about making those friends.

Approach each new person as a potential new friend until they prove otherwise. Treasure those friends you have and nurture those friendships. Keep those friendships safe in the warmth of your heart.

Put your hand out in welcome and see who responds.

To have many friends you must befriend many.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

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For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel