Tag Archives: senior citizen

My Scary Encounter with the Department of Motor Vehicles

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My Scary Encounter with the Department of Motor Vehicles
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

My Scary Encounter with the Department of Motor Vehicles

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

The longer I live the more challenging life has become.

Recently, I was forced to confront the fact that I have gotten somewhat older. I have been putting off calling myself a senior citizen. Even though it’s not politically correct, I continue to refer to myself as an “old person.” For some reason, I’m resisting the term senior citizen. Maybe it’s because I’m so old that I’m stuck in my ways. In the interest of full disclosure here, I will turn seventy-six in the early days of 2024. I think seventy-six qualifies as an old guy.

Has the earth begun to move more rapidly?

Everything about life seems to be moving at an accelerating pace. I realize that one possibility might be that I am moving more slowly. But I’m doing my best to keep up. I think I do pretty well for an old guy, considering I am still working somewhere near full-time. I do write a blog, and I do have a YouTube channel. I did need to use the services of some technical consultants. One of my interns showed me how to answer a text message. And a preschooler has been teaching me how to stream videos. Even with the help of some younger people, it’s still getting harder to keep up.

Why did the rules keep changing?

One of the major challenges of adding more trips around the sun to your total is that the rules of life keep changing. Recently, I received a letter from the nice folks at the California Department of Motor Vehicles, informing me that since I was past seventy, I would need to take a written test at the DMV to renew my license. No more mail or online renewals for me. This struck terror in my heart.

What does an old academic do when faced with a challenge?

Of course, the first thing I did was go online and locate a copy of the current driving rules. I was flabbergasted to find out that they had significantly changed the driver’s handbook since I passed my first written test in 1964. Warning here: beware of online guides to passing your driver’s test. Even though I typed “California driver’s exam” into the search bar, I discovered some of the answers they taught me do not apply to California.

What new rules did I need to learn about?

It seems quite a bit of new content has been added to the driver’s handbook since I first learned to drive. I’ll only give you a short summary here.

Bicycle lanes.

I don’t remember anything about bicycle lanes in the driver’s handbooks from the nineteen sixties. If it was there, it wasn’t important. I was learning how to drive, after all. I had been riding a bicycle for ten or twelve years by this point. What was new and surprising were all the rules about when a motor vehicle could enter a bike lane. Bikes have lanes?

Some other things they snuck in just to confuse me.

Most of these changes in the rules came on, so gradually, I simply learned how to cope with them by watching what other people were doing and driving each day. But when it came to passing a written test on these changes in the law, I discovered I really needed to study.

For example, what are the rules applying to roundabouts? What are those blue signs and those blue zones? Of course, I knew about blue zones from having had a family member with a disabled parking permit, but the blue signs, they were a mystery.

I also discovered that there is a new sign appearing on the back of slow-moving vehicles. Apparently, we need to be told that horse-drawn carriages move more slowly than motor vehicles. I didn’t think I needed to be told that with that special sign since I remembered that they were on the roads first, and those of us driving vehicles came later.

Are all the stoners being discriminated against?

As I have aged, I’ve given up a lot of things. Among them are alcohol, drugs, and staying up past midnight. But do you realize that now the use of marijuana is included in the driver’s handbook? Just like open containers of alcohol, possession of an open container of marijuana is not permitted in a motor vehicle. Who knew?

Staying relevant can be quite a challenge as you age.

I felt pretty good that I could use the terminal to take my written driving test. Some people who were ten years younger than me needed to use the written test. And I did pass on my first try. One poor young man, probably barely past seventy, who was ahead of me in line, had just failed his written test for the third time.

I shouldn’t feel too cocky, however. I had just come to the DMV from picking up my new glasses. I now have one pair of glasses for looking at computer screens and a second set specifically for driving.

I have to feel sorry for the clerks at DMV. As hard as it must be for some of us senior citizens to be told our days of driving are coming to an end, it must be very hard for the employees to have to tell someone they can’t renew their license. All the people I talked with that day who worked at DMV were very kind and courteous. But the experience does serve as a reminder to me that the day may be coming when I will not be able to do some of the things, I used to be able to do.

Compared to DMV, my encounters with the technology people over the last few weeks suggest that some of the ghouls, fiends, and sadists who were unemployed after Halloween had moved into the technology sector. But that is a topic for another post.

In the meantime, try to have the best life possible, whatever that may mean to you.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

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For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

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For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Does abuse of seniors and the disabled get reported?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Older people

Elderly couple.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Reporting abuse of a senior citizen or a disabled person.

Most people are well aware that child abuse and neglect get reported, but reporting abuse of other vulnerable people gets forgotten. This is a legal and an ethical question. For legal advice please consult with a lawyer or your local statue. There are lots of ifs, and’s and exceptions here. I will keep this simple.

From a California LPCC and LMFT’s point of view here are some things to think about. Every two years when we renew our licenses we have to take a refresher course on Law and Ethics, so we stay up to date and don’t forget things we are required to do. Sometimes we need to check out the fine points of the law also.

There are two types of report categories, mandatory and permitted and then there are categories of victims of abuse, children, seniors, and the disabled.

Mandated Reports.

In most places, there are groups of people called “mandated reporters.” These are people who work with a vulnerable group of people, may learn about abuse or neglect, and are required by law and ethical codes to report abuse and neglect.

In California, mental health professionals (LMFT’s LPCC’s, LCSW’s, etc.) are mandated reporters. In short, if we know or should know about some abuse or neglect, we have no choice, we have to make the call and report this.

This does not mean that we go around the neighborhood looking over fences for a crime. Mental health professionals are not the police. We don’t report crimes and as a rule, are required to keep anything the client says confidential EXCEPT that abuse and neglect stuff.

But if while doing therapy, we are told about abuse or neglect we can’t let that go. We have to make this report.

There are some iffy areas here that can vary from place to place and are open to interpretations. Cruelty to animals and domestic violence are deplorable but most of the time this does not trigger mandatory reports. Some agencies would like to expand the number of things we have to report but if the list swells beyond what is absolutely needed it keeps people from coming to their therapist and telling them things that they need help with.

Because we have to make this report and others, we are supposed to inform our clients of the things that we must report. This along with fees and other stuff like that is called “informed consent.” You can’t very well consent if you have not been informed, can you?  Remember in most counseling settings, the abuse gets reported, like it or not and neither you nor the counselor has a choice in this.

Permitted reports.

Any member of the public can report abuse at any time. Permitted reports can be anonymous. The reporting person is supposed to be kept confidential but sometimes people do things they are not supposed to do like tell the person involved who reported them.

My understanding of this is – if I am a mandated reporter, I can’t make an anonymous report. Some of my colleagues have argued with me about this. But the first thing they ask me on the phone is “are you a mandated reporter?” Once I say yes I can’t very well try to make an anonymous report. Besides if I am required to do this I want a record that I did it. It took a lot of work to get these licenses and I want to keep them.

One difference between mandated and permitted reports may be that mandated reporters have lots of protection if they make a report, whether it turns out to be true or not. We don’t investigate people. We report it once and unless we learn more down the road we are done.

People who make Permitted reports get in a lot of trouble for making too many unsubstantiated reports. In divorce cases, there is this temptation to think your ex should never be allowed to see these kids again. He cheated on you, right? Cheating on a spouse is most likely not abuse of the child. If you make daily reports on your ex, pretty soon the authorities stop listening to you and they may even come after you for false reporting.

So the people who might get abused or neglected are Children, the elderly (seniors), and the disabled.

Child abuse and neglect are the most common by far.

Remember abuse is really bad stuff, not just stuff we don’t like such as strict parents. Lots of parents want their 17-year-old daughter’s 18-year-old boyfriend arrested for them having sex. That may be statutory rape, a crime, but it is not generally child sexual abuse. Counselors don’t report crimes they report abuse or neglect, which just happens to be a crime also.

If that 18-year-old boy is having sex with your eleven-year-old daughter that is pretty much child sexual abuse everywhere and that will get reported to the proper authorities in a heartbeat.

Abuse or neglect of Senior citizens and the disabled are also reported.

It is probably a mandated report if you are a mandated reporter. For sure it is here in California. These are classes of people who because of their age or disability cannot fully take care of and or protect themselves. Society steps in to take care of them.

Besides the types of abuse that apply to children, another type of abuse is common when it comes to the elderly and the disabled, financial abuse.

Now some seniors choose to have relatives live with them or give those relatives gifts. But if that other person does not care for the elderly person and bullies them or cheats them out of the money then it may be a crime. It may also be elder or disabled person abuse.

One warning here

Some people come to therapists and tell us tales of people being abused but they don’t want to get involved or make the report. All that second-hand information may not meet the criteria for a “mandated report.”  Calling a therapist to tell them about your suspicions will not help the person. The therapist can’t go out and investigate. If you think someone is being abused, you should be the one making the report.

Hope this helped to get you thinking about the problem of abuse and neglect in our society and the role of the mandated reporter and the possibility that abuse and neglect could include senior citizens and the disabled.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel