Technology
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I feel like a fifth grader again.
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.
Rapidly changing technology makes me feel like an overwhelmed fifth grader.
Last week, I sat at my keyboard and experienced an overwhelming desire to break down and cry. I haven’t felt this overwhelmed and helpless since my elementary school days. Being a senior citizen, I have a lot of life experiences, and being a professional counselor, I have a lot of tools at my disposal. Still, sometimes the frustration gets so bad the only conceivable response is to act as immaturely as possible. Let me tell you about my growing frustration with the tech gods.
Recently, I’ve been struggling more than usual to keep up with rapidly evolving technology. Ever since the start of the Covid epidemic, when we moved to remote technology, I have been struggling to catch up. The upward curve of technological change turned into a vertical wall and is now an overhanging cliff.
I thought I was doing reasonably well. I moved the lecture materials between blackboard, canvas, and canvas companion with the adept skill of a fire juggler. I’ve learned to turn my lecture material into PowerPoints and my PowerPoints into videos. I have even established a YouTube channel so those videos are available continuously around the clock.
Despite some struggles, I’ve managed to keep my primary mental health blog going and occasionally add some posts to my writer’s blog. And through all this, I have written and published seven books. I thought I was doing reasonably well. Then, the avalanche of tech changes collapsed on top of me.
Let me tell you a parable about an overwhelmed ten-year-old.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far, away from sunny California, in a rural area where people ignored troublesome laws, there lived a sheltered, naïve ten-year-old boy. His family’s largest claim to fame was the mass quantities of ethyl alcohol, which they frequently consumed. One particular older male habitually consumed alcohol to the state of extreme incapacitation.
On this particular night, it was imperative that the man who could no longer walk on two legs and was having difficulty crawling on all fours somehow reached home before he froze to death in the snow. Hence, the patriarch of this story decided to have his ten-year-old son drive him back across the open fields to the farmhouse. What follows is my vague remembrance of the conversation between the father and son.
“Son, you gots to drive me home,” The old man said.
“But Dad, I don’t know how to drive,” the boy said.
“It for to is easy, I teaches you how. Here, tase these keys.”
“Now what?”
“Get in car and drive.”
“I can’t get in. The door is locked,” the boy said.
“Unlock the door.”
“How do I do that?”
“Stick the keys in the lock.”
“I put the key in the lock, but the door still won’t open.”
“Did you turn the key?”
“I have to turn the key?”
“Yes, yous got to turn the key.”
“I turned the key around, but the other end won’t fit.”
“Here, Leslie, me dooes it.”
At this point, the conversation is terminated when the patriarch falls face down in the snow, and their connection is terminated. If we were to wait several hours for the older gentleman to regain consciousness, we could listen in on the continuing conversation as the young man struggles to figure out how to put the key into the ignition, put the car into gear, and then drive across the open field without ending up in the ditch. I hope you can see how totally frustrating this might be to the young boy.
Fast forward sixty-five years later.
Four emails arrived in one day, all indicating that the protocols for logging into email accounts have been changed. Each of the four companies the boy, now an elderly adult, works for has decided to change their login, password, and security system. Each has changed in a different direction using different outside vendors.
“Tech support. How can I help you?” The tech bot says.
“I’m having trouble logging into my account.” The man says.
“Did you download the login app? You need to download the login app.” Click.
What download app? The old man asks. Only to be greeted by silence and, finally, the hum of the dial tone.
Wait a minute, wait a minute. If I am hearing a dial tone this is not a cell phone. Click. Again.
Minutes later the man connects with tech support.
“Did you download the login app?” Tech support says.
“What’s an app?” The old man replies. Click.
Clearly, this conversation is going nowhere.
A five-year-old gets to cry.
What does a seventy-five-year-old man get to do?
The old man calls tech service again after struggling for several hours to download the Bloody app.
“I can’t get into my login app. What do I do?”
“What kind of authenticator are you using?”
“What’s an authenticator?” The old man asks. Click.
Imagine that this scenario repeats itself four times with four different vendors.
I don’t have to imagine this. That sort of scenario seems to be happening to me on a regular basis.
I think I could catch up if they would just stop changing things.
How about you? Are you having trouble keeping up with technology?
Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?
Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.
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