By David Joel Miller
Have a Happy Holiday – And be really safe out there.
Full moon.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Happy Holliday
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Monthly Archives: October 2013
Halloween Hates Women
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Witch.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Halloween has become decidedly misogynistic.
Halloween is just not what it used to be. I suppose people start saying things like this when they get old, and I resemble that, nothing is the way it once was. But Halloween has changed in some disturbing ways. Modern Halloween does not seem to think much of women or girls for that matter.
When I was younger Halloween was mostly a holiday for children. Today it has become the second-largest holiday. It was the warm-up for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, those required to cope with winter holidays we needed to cheer ourselves up and to affirm our connection to the rest of our culture.
Halloween is being marketed as an adult holiday. Halloween has grown older but clearly, it has not grown up.
Men are getting to choose between increasing numbers of characters to impersonate. Women are getting stereotyped in one of two roles.
A woman must choose between being a young erotic sex object and being an old ugly hag.
The portrayal of the witch, so often a standard feature of Halloween costumes, as deformed, green skin, with warts and all, implies that women who are not sex objects are despicable.
When I was a child most little boys wanted to be pirates, cowboys, or hobos. Little girls mostly wanted to be princesses. A lot of the costumes were homemade and the goal was to play dress up and pretend to be something you would never be.
Today the costumes are store-bought and the goal seems to be to dress rehearse the things you wish you were doing. Mostly these are things that you would do if you could do but can’t because you might get arrested or lose your job over them.
In the transformation of this holiday, the roles of men and women have changed.
This is not about the macabre or the horror stories. We have always had times when as a people we tried to poke fun at death and the fears of the unknown, the dance macabre, the day of the dead, those sorts of things. Today rather than skeletons people want to dress up as mass murders.
That works for the guys but have you seen the costumes being offered to the women and the little girls?
It does not hurt to sometimes dress up and play roles. We do that a lot with Renaissance Faires, Pirate fairs, and Sci-fi conventions.
I just have to wonder after all the progress on equality between the sexes, how we can continue to encourage women to fit into the dichotomy that either you are a sex object or you are worthless and despicable mold.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
The Blue Jay Mind – Do you have Mind Chatter
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Blue Jay.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Do you have a Blue Jay Mind? Is your mind on overload?
Does your mind feel like it is full? Is your brain always rushing somewhere? Do you sometimes feel like your mind is having a traffic jam?
Have you ever sat outside, a park or the lake, when a flock of Blue Jays or other loud birds had a constant chattering conversation? Does your own mind sound like that sometimes? In meditation, they refer to this as a monkey mind. But we North Americans we don’t see monkeys except in the zoo.
Flocks of loud obnoxious birds; that we see a lot of.
Some days my mind sounds like that squabbling in the tree outside my window.
You know you are not fully crazy; these are not voices in your head. These things that overwhelm you are your own thoughts, but that does not make it any easier to keep that mind of yours under control.
An unquiet mind is an unruly companion.
Some days my brain is just plain full. Is yours? I tell people around me not to tell me one more thing that I need to remember. I say, only half-joking, that if I learn one more thing I will need to forget something I used to know and I am afraid that trying to remember what they are telling me may mean I will forget how to get home tonight.
Do you reach the point of cognitive overload and find that you are working harder and harder to remember less and less? You may be getting old; you may be losing some abilities. If so see your doctor.
There is a simpler explanation.
We only have so many cognitive resources at our command. My computer has just so much storage space and so does my mind.
What we all need to do is reserve some space in our heads for the things that really matter. Learn to simplify our minds and reduce our worries. Less stuff rattling around in our brains results in more calmness, more serenity.
The difficult part of this is to get your mind slowed down and cleared out when you need to. We all can become so accustomed to thinking, thinking, always thinking that for many people it is difficult to shut that mind off when the times come to give your mind a rest.
Some people find mindfulness and meditation training to be helpful to get that mind quiet. Other people need counseling or even medication.
If your mind is constantly racing, if your head is full of noise and most of it is your own thoughts seek help. Just listening to your own thoughts day after day can wear you out.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
That’s not what’s wrong with you!
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Problem-solving.
Are you sure you really know what your problem is?
There has been a disturbing trend lately in the psychotherapy business. To hear some of my colleagues talk, clients do not have a clue what is wrong with them. Worse than that, if the client did know, they are convinced the client would lie to them.
I have to question these premises. First, some fictional examples may help.
A male client goes to see their therapist. The man says he and his wife are quarreling and he is afraid their marriage will end in divorce. The therapist does a full assessment and informs the client that his problem is not his relationship. His problem is he did not have a good attachment to his mother. He needs to work through all his childhood issues of wanting more from his mother than she gave him.
The client, not conscious of psychological principles, continues to insist that he and his mother got along just fine. The client says that it is possible that all men have mother issues they need to work out before they can properly relate to a woman. What does he know about psychological principles?
So the man undergoes a long examination of his childhood and his relationship with his mother. At the end, he sees how he was not really as close to his mother as he thought.
In the meantime, his wife leaves him and files for divorce. As much as it pains this man to lose the relationship with a woman he really loves and he is also sad about losing contact with his children because the wife has moved them to another state where she lives with her parents.
Still, the man now understands how his underdeveloped relationship with his mother has resulted in his attachment issues with women and he now understands why he will never be able to make a woman happy.
Sound far-fetched? I see things like this more often than you might guess.
Second example. A woman comes to see her therapist because she has been out of work for many months. She is discouraged and getting depressed because of her employment situation and her economic troubles. I am thinking either treatment for depression or help with career counseling, but the treating therapist tells me that would be wrong.
The problem here is that this client grew up in a home with an alcoholic parent. This has left all sorts of scars on the client and the client undergoes treatment for her anger towards that alcoholic parent. The client insists that she got over that stuff a long time ago but the therapist informs this client that she is sicker than she thinks and that she will never be happy again until she gets these childhood issues treated.
The client talks with this therapist for a number of sessions, still unconvinced that she has all that big a problem with her childhood. Eventually, the therapist tells the client that this client needs to stop lying about her hatred towards her father.
Clearly, anyone who grew up with an alcoholic parent has been scarred for life and will probably never be able to work again
By the way, these are fictional composite examples so do not go thinking you know the people I am talking about. You would be wrong.
Counter-transference.
The problems these vignettes illustrate are a phenomenon known as counter-transference. The counselor who has had issues in their childhood, or has others in their life with these issues, is insistent that the client must have the issues that the counselor sees and if the client disagrees then the counselor believes the client is lying.
It can also come from a theoretical orientation that asserts that all adult problems are the result of childhood events.
A more productive approach is for the treating professional to consider that some people who had mother problems or an alcoholic parent may be having problems today because of that past, but most people really have the problem they say they have.
I try, in my practice, to always accept that the problem is what the client says the problem is. This can save a lot of time by working on that issue first and then get back to the other stuff if that still needs doing.
I also find that it saves a lot of my time and the client’s time to avoid arguing with the client. If they tell me things I take it that they believe what they are telling me. They may be mistaken but most people really do believe what they are saying.
Certainly, there are times that clients might stretch the truth. Especially if they have something to gain, like child custody or disability. In those cases, where my results will go to another person or agency I ask a lot more questions. But if the purpose of the therapy is to help the client resolve issues or cope with life problems I find it is worth the effort to start from a place of believing the client.
Most of the time the problem that needs treating is the thing the client says brought them to my office in the first place. If your provider is insistent on treating you for their issue instead of yours consider getting a second opinion.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Tranquility
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Tranquility:
free of any disturbance or commotion, free from or showing no signs of anxiety or agitation.
“A lonely day is God’s way of saying that he wants to spend some quality time with you.”
― Criss Jami
“We are not going to change the whole world, but we can change ourselves and feel free as birds. We can be serene even in the midst of calamities and, by our serenity, make others more tranquil. Serenity is contagious. If we smile at someone, he or she will smile back. And a smile costs nothing. We should plague everyone with joy. If we are to die in a minute, why not die happily, laughing? (136-137)”
― Swami Satchidananda, The Yoga Sutras
“Our life depends on the kind of thoughts we nurture. If our thoughts are peaceful, calm, meek, and kind, then that is what our life is like. If our attention is turned to the circumstances in which we live, we are drawn into a whirlpool of thoughts and can have neither peace nor tranquility.”
― Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica, Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives: The Life and Teachings of Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica
“The very secret of life for me, I believed, was to maintain in the midst of rushing events an inner tranquility.”
― Margaret Bourke-White, Portrait of Myself
Quotes from GoodReads
For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse and Co-occurring disorders see the about the author page. For information about my other writing work beyond this blog check out my Google+ page or the Facebook author’s page, up under David Joel Miller. Posts to the “books, trainings, and classes” category will tell you about those activities. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at http://www.counselorfresno.com/recommended-books/
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Is A.A. a religious group?
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Alcoholics Anonymous big book.
A.A. describes itself in its literature as a spiritual program, not a religious one.
Members of A.A. are free to practice or not practice any religion they chose. Among the members of A.A., you will find Christians of most all the denominations. You will also find Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Pagans, and both agnostics and atheists.
How it possible to be a member of a spiritual group and not believe in a specific deity?
The A.A. literature says “God as you understand him.” No particular understanding is prescribed. Clearly, some members are more emphatic about their particular faith and its role in their recovery than others.
“Him” here is in the English language tradition of not having gender-neutral pronouns. Using “They or Them” for God did not work also. So I think that there should be no objection if your understanding of God or your higher power were a she, them, or it.
What does matter is that this “higher power” has some ability to help you live your life on a more spiritual basis.
One member, who described themselves as an atheist reported that they understood their higher power as god, as opposed to GOD. Their higher power was a formula for making better more spiritual decisions.
g = Good
O = orderly
d = direction
Some members in early recovery find that simply checking out decisions with their sponsor or the group can improve the quality of those decisions and help them stay sober. For the time being the group can function as a “higher power.”
There is one other description of this process of making progress in A.A. that might help explain why the program does not insist on any particular religious belief.
If you are on the path to recovery, keep looking, you just might find a higher power.
The posts I write about A.A. are from my perspective as a therapist and clinical counselor and do not necessarily reflect the views of A.A. World Services. For more on A.A. and their program of recovery check out the “A.A. Big Book” titled Alcoholics Anonymous at the links below or contact A.A. World Services at their website.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
The classic text on Alcoholism, recovery this is the book that started off the whole 12 step phenomenon.
Alcoholics Anonymous from The Anonymous Press
One of the kindle editions – At 99 cents this is such a bargain. This edition needed a separate listing. No kindle reader? No Problem, if you have a computer you can download a free Kindle reader.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Alcohol prevents healing.
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Alcoholic beverages.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Is a little alcohol medicinal?
We have long known that chronic alcoholics had a whole lot more health problems than non-alcoholics. Heavy drinkers get hurt a lot. They fall down and break things. We blamed it on their being drunk and uncoordinated.
Now, there is word, that drinking may also inhibit the ability of the body to repair cells. This inhibition seems to be at the molecular and cellular level.
This reduced ability to heal is not simply the result of problem drinkers having a poorer diet and other unsatisfactory health practices, although those are large issues also. It would appear that alcohol fundamentally impairs the ability of the body to repair cells that are damaged.
To test this theory out, that too much alcohol may inhibit healing, a study was done in mice. By raising the alcohol level to .20 over twice the legal DUI level researchers were able to see the effects of acute alcohol levels on healing rather than only looking at the long-term effects of excessive drinking.
These “binge drinking” mice, who had broken bones, were unable to heal at the same rate as their un-inebriated fellow mice.
Drinkers that break bones may have a reduced ability to heal, may heal more slowly and there are more complications during the recuperation process.
Those binge-drinking mice appear to have explained the problem. The presence of alcohol in the bloodstream and therefore in every cell in the body reduces the ability for bones to heal when damaged. We now suspect that binge drinking can result in poor healing in many other areas.
Drinking alcohol may be an old home remedy for pain, suffering, and sleeplessness but new research tells us it is a hindrance not a help for those applications.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
A stone can take away worry?
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Polished stones.
Picture courtesy of pixabay.
Can a worry stone help?
One of the oldest of human traits is the interest we have in picking up little bits of our environment. From the days in the caves, humans have been attracted to bits of nature, shiny stones, seashells and the like.
Many people carry small bits of stones in their pocket as good luck pieces, talismans, amulets or a relief from anxiety or worry.
In this modern era, we tend to dismiss these little bits of nature as irrelevant, unscientific or no more than a part of the placebo effect.
The truth is that those who own and carry these objects, many of them, swear that they are helpful in managing their anxiety. I am reluctant to dismiss anything that works, knowing that much of what we humans believe works because we chose to believe it.
There are plenty of legends about how a particular stone may be helpful in managing an emotion. Some of those stones continue to this day as part of our symbolic heritage. It is intriguing how many “rational, scientific” people have some small item tucked away in a pocket that they rub when uncomfortable.
Diamonds are given for engagements rings. Their unusual hardness and rarity were thought to bring good luck to the relationship. Their expense was thought to encourage the man to hold on to this bride rather than lose such an expensive object.
Amethysts were thought to help prevent drunkenness. Those who carry one and reach for it when they feel the urge to drink report that as long as you keep rubbing the stone you won’t pick up the drink.
Some people take great comfort in small objects that remind them of their faith or religious devotion. Many a person has rubbed the plating off a cross or worn out a set of prayer beads. The cross or the beads, of course, are not usually thought of as the source of the help, but they are a way of reminding yourself of your spiritual connection.
There are books full of the lore of minerals and stones. Each particular variety is seen as a symbol of an emotion and a way of centering oneself.
There are commercially prepared “worry stones,” complete with a hollowed out portion ready to fit the finger with which you rub.
Many other people opt for carrying a small shiny polished stone available from many rock and mineral shops or gift stores.
Other people collect some stone or shell from the places they travel. (Be careful not to take things that are protected on reservations or national parks.)
Do you have some small object, stone or jewelry piece that you rub in times of stress and does it help you discharge that emotion?
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
What is an addiction?
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Addiction.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay
How many addictions are there?
More and more things seem to be getting labeled as addictions. This mushrooming of addictions has resulted in a lot of skepticism about whether all these items are real addictions or just excuses by people who do too much of one thing or another.
The mental health professions don’t typically use the word addiction. We use other terms to help explain why what is commonly called an addiction may look so different in different people.
Let’s explore this problem by starting with the best known of all addictions, drug addiction, and then see what other things might qualify as addictions.
Drug addiction.
Most drugs, legal and illegal, result in two specific reactions in the body, tolerance, and withdrawal. Tolerance means that over time your body builds up a resistance to the drug so that it takes more and more of the same drug to get the same effect.
Physically addicting drugs all result in tolerance in the body.
Withdrawal is the phenomenon of symptoms that occur when the level of the drug in the bloodstream begins to drop. As many an alcoholic knows if you can keep the level of alcohol in the bloodstream up, you can hold off the hangover for a while. Eventually, you fall asleep or more precisely pass out, and then the blood alcohol level drops.
The drop in the level of drug in the bloodstream, not the absolute level is what is causing the withdrawal symptoms, sometimes also referred to as “abstinence syndrome.”
When someone has been abusing drugs, including alcohol, we take them to a detox. They go through a lot of symptoms, some very unpleasant, as the drugs leave their system. So after 3 days or so, defiantly in a week, almost all drugs (except marijuana) are out of the system.
The carvings problem.
No drug (alcohol) in the system, the hangover, or other withdrawal symptoms go away. In the case of heroin, the shakes, diarrhea, vomiting, goosebumps, and all the other classic symptoms of opiate withdrawal end, and the person, now with no detectable drugs in their system are discharged to go home.
The majority of all people who go through detox, somewhere over 90%, will relapse or use again in a month or so after the detox.
If the drugs are all out of their system why are they still exhibiting addictive behaviors?
The problem with addiction is not the chemical dependency in the body, as awful as that can be. The real problem of addiction is that it is a problem of the mind.
We might call this manifestation of addiction a psychological dependency on the drug to differentiate it from a physical addiction. Even when no drugs are in the body the cravings remain in the brain.
Behavioral Addictions.
So can people really be addicted to things like shopping, sex, or compulsive spending?
My belief is that these kinds of activities can also be addicting but are not automatically addiction.
Each activity produces thoughts, those thoughts move through the brain chemically. Change your thinking and your brain chemistry changes. Some experiences, falling in love, having sex, can produce chemical changes in the brain that can be like an addiction.
One key criterion for addiction is the loss of control, if you lose control of an activity you are approaching addiction land.
Continued use of a substance or continued repetition of a behavior despite negative consequences, loss of control over a behavior fits this pattern.
Hypothetical example.
A client says she is “addicted to poodles.” She has poodle skirts, poodle statues, and pictures all over her house. Her husband gripes about all these poodle things but they are still together after 25 years. She says she is “addicted to poodles.” I think she has an unusually large interest, even an obsession with poodles, but so far it does not sound like an addiction.
Let’s say she also has 25 live poodles in the one-room apartment and that she has spent all of their money on poodle stuff this month leaving them with no money for rent and food. Now has her poodle addiction crossed the line?
So while excessive involvement in many things might possibly reach the level of being an addiction the more strongly rewarding things like drugs, alcohol, sex or risk-taking (gambling) produce such high levels of chemicals in the brain that many people might become “Addicted” to these behaviors. Most people are not likely to develop an addiction to poodles. The internet on the other hand –
Let’s leave that for now.
So in many ways, I see addiction, to drugs or other things, as a special case of OCD. The person can’t stop thinking about the object of their addiction and with chemicals or behaviors like gambling once they start they lose control over the substance or the activity.
Most recently we are recognizing that it is possible to have a problem with a chemical or behavior way short of developing an addiction. We might call this a “Use Disorder” or with behaviors we might think of it as an impulse control problem.
However you see this, loss of control over a chemical or an activity can cause someone a lot of life problems and needs treatment.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
What is secondary trauma?
Trauma.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Can you be traumatized by something that did not happen to you?
Secondary trauma.
Secondary trauma is the traumatic result of watching someone else be injured or their life threatened. It is just as real as if the incident happened to you and can last long after the incident is over.
One place where we saw a lot of secondary trauma, this might also go by the name of vicarious trauma, were the incidents of September 11th. Children who watched the planes fly into the towers over and over on Television became frightened even though the events were thousands of miles away. They believed, because of the repeated showings, that thousands of planes were hitting thousands of buildings and that any moment the planes might hit buildings in their neighborhood.
This points out that events do not need to happen to you to be traumatic. Watching a close family member be injured or killed can be as traumatic as if it happened to you. One reason there seems to be more Post-traumatic Stress Disorder among military veterans is the number of horrific incidents they witness during a tour of duty.
Watching others you are close to being killed or injured has a traumatic effect on you even if you are far enough away to escape injury.
Humans are endowed with very vivid imaginations. This raises the question can people be traumatized by fictional things, things that never happened?
As we grow older our ability to distinguish reality from fiction should improve. Young children are not always able to tell the difference. Plenty of children develop fears, night terrors or long-term phobias because adults watch horror or other graphic entertainment. They allow the kids to watch along with them since the adults are not overly frightened they expect the child to be able to understand the difference.
Unfortunately many young children these days are not able to tell the real from the imaginary especially in video format where great effort has been expended to make the horror as realistic as possible.
So whether the trauma was real or imagined, whether it happened to you or someone you know and care about, those traumas can and do traumatize people. We call this trauma, secondary traumatization because the victim of the physical attack may not be the person who suffers the most or the longest.
If you have been traumatized by watching someone else be harmed, there is help available. If your child develops fears or phobias after watching a video, talk with them about reality and fiction. If the problems continue, get professional help.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
counselorssoapbox 