What is non-medical counseling?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Counseling and therapy

Counseling.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

You do not have a mental illness but counseling may still help.

Do you have problems getting along with a spouse?

Has it been difficult adjusting to a new job or a new town? Kids won’t mind or you are having financial and legal difficulties?

Do you have “anger issues?”

All these things and many more may be reasons to seek counseling, even though you do not have a diagnosable mental illness.

Getting help for these issues early may mean you can live a better life and not have your problems become a mental illness.

There is nothing noble about suffering for long time periods when help is available.

There are a whole slew of life problems that might need working on but they do not rise to the level we would recognize as a mental illness. These issues are listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of Mental Disorders (DSM-5 is a registered trademark of the APAeven though they are not mental disorders.

The idea behind including these issues is that they cause significant distress to clients. These issues bring people into the offices of doctors, therapists, counselors, and even judges, but they are not at this point in time considered a mental illness.

The result of these distinctions is that while you may want or need help in these areas you will need to look for other sources of help than the doctor and probably your issuance will not cover treatment for them.

EAP’s and Non-Medical Counseling.

Many employee assistance plans will offer you a few sessions with a counselor to work on these issues. They find it is cheaper and better to help employees overcome outside work issues than to let them go and then have to hire and train new employees. So if you have an EAP plan look for help there first.

You may have insurance coverage for some Non-medical counseling issues.

A few medical insurance plans or Behavioral insurance plans, to be more precise, also cover these issues. For some problems of living, you can get other help. Most of these problems have such severe impacts on people’s lives they need treating even if your insurance does not cover them. Private therapists and counselors can help here.

About Life Coaches.

Recently we have seen a proliferation of “life coaches” who also can help you work on life issues that need help but are not technically mental illnesses. Some of these coaches have training and can be very helpful, others have minimal training and will miss when you really need to see a trained professional. Until this gets sorted out and there is some kind of licensing for life coaches, I recommend you seek out a licensed person even if what you need is non-medical counseling or coaching. Most professional counselors are happy to work on life coaching issues also.

First some background and then the list of problems.

In the U. S. we have been used to using the DSM (Currently the DSM-5) for mental illnesses. In the rest of the world, they use the International Classification of Diseases. As of October 1, 2015, the U.S. is switching to use the numbering system the rest of the world uses. We also updated the names that we use to more closely align with the rest of the world. The result, the numbers, and names have changed for some things so you will see multiple names and numbers for those things and some things will get split while others got combined. Do not let the professional’s confusion confuse you.

V Codes and Z Codes.

I have sorted this list to make it easier to write about so the list does not exactly follow the DSM. Things called “V codes” are the old number and the “Z codes” are the new ones. Sometimes two problems had or have one number and others have or had no number.  This is not a full list, for that see the DSM-5. I just wanted you to see the flavor of things that might bring someone to counseling which is not technically a mental illness.

Relationship issues

Partner Relational V61.10 Z63.0

Parent-Child V61.12 Z62.820

Sibling Relational VV61.8 Z62.891

Abuse and neglect (victims) V61.12, V61.21, V62.83

Perpetrators of Abuse get a 995 point something number (now a T number)

Other relational problem V62.81

Bereavement V62.82 Z63.4

Discord with neighbor, lodger, or landlord Z59.2

Job – work problems

Occupational problem V62.2 Z56.9

Academic problems V62.3 Z55.9

Adult Antisocial Behavior (Career criminal) V71.01 Z72.811

Legal issues

Financial issues

Incarceration

Life changes

Acculturation V62.4 Z60.3

Phase of life problem V62.89 Z60.0

Situational adjustment – military deployment, moves from job changes

Religious or spiritual problem V62.89 Z65.8

Noncompliance with treatment V15.81 Z91.19 (NOW NON-ADHERENCE)

Housing issues

Homelessness Z59.0

Inadequate housing Z59.1

Problems living in a residential institution Z59.3

Living alone Z60.2

Other things that get treated but may be missing or hard to find in the DSM

Caregiver fatigue or burnout

Military sexual trauma

Military deployment Z56.82

Child care issues

Poverty-related issues

Lack of food and water Z59.4

Extreme poverty Z59.5

Not enough welfare Z59.7

Other unspecified housing or economic problem Z59.9

Physical health issues – the emotional part

Those problems that are poverty-related, school and child-related and involve interactions with the government, may have services available from public agencies. Other issues may justify you seeking private treatment.

Hope that somewhat clarifies all the things that counselors, social workers, and therapists may work with that are not specifically mental illnesses. If you or someone you know has any of these kinds of issues consider looking for help.  Seeking out help for these issues does not mean you are “crazy” or that you have a mental illness. Not using help when it is available, that is more like stubbornness.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

What is life coaching?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

coach

Coaching.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Life Coaching is an exciting and a scary world.

Life coaching is a new development in the counseling, therapy, helping-person field. There are good life coaches out there, who can be very helpful, but finding who you need to see is the challenge. Let’s hope this post will help explain those issues.

Coaching of all kinds has been around for a very long time. We are all mostly familiar with athletic coaches. Most have been players, grown up around the sport they coach or they have taken formal university classes in how to coach a particular sport. A good coach can prepare you for the Olympic trials or help you take your golf game up to a pro-level. You do not take a weekend seminar online and then coach an NFL team.

Other types of coaches have grown up to meet the needs of particular people for mentoring and development. Executive coaches help executives plan and develop careers. Recovery coaches are often people who have recovered from a particular issue, substance use disorders, or alcoholism. They can help take a recovering person through the journey from the land of addiction to recovery land.

One thing we have found in the recovery field is that being in personal recovery can help make you a better coach or substance abuse counselor, but that by itself is not enough. Those peer coaches need more training and they need supervision. To be a good coach you not only need to know how to do something, play a sport or recover from drug use, you also need to know how to pass that knowledge on to the person you are trying to help.

Why life coaches?

Many of the current life coaches have come from the fields of psychology, especially counseling psychology to be specific, or they are from the fields of mental health, marriage and family therapist, or professional counselors.

Most mental health therapy and counseling are deficit-based. You need to have a mental illness and then we can see you and bill your insurance. But what if you want to be a better person, develop your career, or just plan to more effectively reach your goals? Counseling, in the past, was not set up to help well people, it was set up to treat ill people.

One school of counseling, we call this a “theoretical orientation” is called “solution-focused therapy.” Rather than looking for what makes you sick, these therapists look for the things you do that work and then help you plan to do more of these behaviors.

Recently counselors and psychologists have been looking at things called “strength-based” counseling. What are you good at and how will we help you do more of that. This led to the field of positive psychology which looks at making life better rather than “pathologizing” people so that we only treat sick people.

Thinking in terms of teaching skills to have a better life is scary to those people who are used to thinking that systems of care should only treat the really – really – sick people. The result is that help in having the life you want and in staying well is not something most healthcare systems pay for. You want help in having a good life, they may think, you need to go looking for it yourself.

If you plan ahead then you can get sick, get professional help until your problem gets moderate or mild, and then you are back to being on your own.

Many people would rather plan and develop a good life and avoid being sick in the first place. So they seek out coaches that can help them plan a better life. You do not have to be sick to go for coaching.

Now the secret part of life coaching.

Most, maybe all of what coaches are doing has been done by counselors and some psychologists all along. The difference today is not what we do but who pays for what. The result is new fields of counseling psychology and counselors doing “life coaching.” Marriage and Family Therapists have known this for a long time. Come in when you have mild disagreements and we can help you improve communication. Wait till the divorce is in progress and all we can do is keep you from hurting each other while you negotiate the divorce stuff.

Some problems with “life coaches”

Try a web search on life coaching and you will see a vast array of web pages. All life coaches are far from equal. Many of the web pages for life coaching are adds, take this class; send in a check and you can become a life coach and make big money telling people how to live their life. The truth of life coaching is far from this.

Currently, there is no set curriculum or standards for life coaches, no license and while there are schools teaching life coaching most are private for-profit enterprises and their degrees are untested and unaccredited.

Some life coaches run ads that sound more like they are psychics or “spiritual healers.” Now if that is what you are looking for all well and good. The rub comes in when people go to these “life coaches” and turns out they have a serious mental illness that should have been treated.

My suggestion is that if you want “life coaching” because you want to improve your life and reduce stress, seek out a licensed mental health professional. I must here disclose my biases. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor. Also in supervising trainees and interns who are new to the field, some of what I do is coach them in how to be the best possible therapists and counselors. So, I do all three and that may make me extra skeptical of those who embark on the life coaching business without getting some serious education and training.

The life coaching conclusion.

If you hate your job and are so depressed you can’t go to work, get therapy for your depression. If you don’t know what kind of job you want, see a career counselor. Not sure how to develop and grow your career as you grow older you may need job or life coaching. Same thing for relationships. Can’t get along with your partner see a couple’s counselor. Scared and having trouble dating and finding a partner? You may want to work with a relationship counselor but on some dating coaching.

In future posts, I want to talk to you about strengths-based counseling and how you may find it worthwhile to look for someone who will help you have the best life possible.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Psychology major may be bad for your Mental Health.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

The Psyche

What is psychology?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Majoring in Psychology won’t fix you.

There is a repeating pattern in my public therapy work. Adults past the teen years show up for counseling referred by a government agency because of their depression, anxiety, unemployment, and substance use disorder. One thing many of them have in common? Many of them have been Psychology majors. What they find out too late is that knowing all about Psychology won’t fix you.

Addiction treatment has known this knowledge does not equal recovery for a long time.

Addiction and alcoholism treatment sprang from self-help groups, A.A. and N.A. mostly. The early founders of those groups tried going to professionals, psychiatrists, and psychologists, but while they received some help there, being diagnosed with addiction or depression is a long way from getting treatment for your issue.

Knowing you are an alcoholic, even knowing why you drink, does not result in sobriety. Not without some work on changing things. The same thing happens with depression and anxiety. Most of the things you learn in Psychology class about states and traits and the big five personality factors may give you some insight into your personality but it doesn’t tell you what to do next.

Psychology may explain your problem as you are an introvert and have a high need for security. But you are still lonely, afraid to go out of your house, and depressed all the time. Maybe you are drinking to manage your anxiety and depression. You may get pills from your doctor, but before long you find you are using more pills than prescribed and drinking way too much and you still have those problems. Now what?

Psychology and Therapy got a divorce.

Psychology and Therapy separated a long time ago. Not everyone got the memo, but these two disciplines are divorced. On college campuses, they live in different buildings. Psychology had a brief affair with counseling also but they have been estranged for some time now.

Psychology is mostly about brains, nervous systems, and how the normal brain works. Many pure psychologists spend more time with rats and mice than people. They give questionnaires and do studies to find out how many people have a particular problem and whether there is anything that is helping them.

You have to study psychology for a very long time before they let you experiment on people and by then your own issues have eaten you alive.

Therapy and Counseling are about helping the individual find the answers they need on how to change their lives. This works even if you do not change your big five-factor personality. You can still be an introvert but if you learn to develop a support system and have better social skills your problem may stop making you miserable.

Clinical Psychology is a stepchild.

Before I get everyone in the helping, changing people field mad at me I should mention that there is a group of people called clinical psychologists who study both how the normal brain works and how to help them with mental and emotional problems. This takes at least 6 years of college and some original research to get a Ph.D. This lets you help others but it won’t fix you.

You shouldn’t believe everything you read in a psychology journal.

I read a lot of research. Psych professors do research. That old publish or perish thing. Some of this research is really good. Some of it is suspect. Many of the things you learn about in psychology class are the result of studies those professors have done. They often use a “convenience” sample of psychology students. If people with mental health issues take a lot of psychology classes, and it looks from what my clients tell me that is true a lot of the time, then those studies of “normal” people are done on not so normal people.

For example, I have been reading a lot of research for the series about sleep dreams and nightmares I was working on. One of those studies, done on psych students, included 85% of women. In a clinical setting, women are more likely to be diagnosed with a mental illness than men and psych students may have self-selected into this class because of their own issues. I am skeptical of this author’s conclusions.

Do not take out your own appendix.

You can study all about anatomy. Know all about appendicitis and still, you shouldn’t take out your own appendix. It is also not recommended you do the operation on a family member.

Same thing with treating yourself for mental and emotional problems. Many counseling programs make their students go through the experience of getting personal counseling. This has two advantages. First, you learn what it is like to be the client before you put someone else through the process. More importantly, this gives prospective therapists the chance to work on themselves before they start working with others.

If you are thinking about becoming a psychology major, or have been one, I would recommend you look at why. If it is because studying rat brains sounds cool, have at it. But if you are doing this because you or someone close to you have emotional or mental problems, think about getting counseling for your problems first and then see if you still want to do this.

There are a lot of psychology majors, counselors, social work majors, philosophy majors and so on who are among the unemployed, mentally ill, addicted populations. I suppose that happens to many other majors also. Just wanted to put out that special warning that learning all about psychology won’t fix you. Regardless of your major, in order to have a happy successful life, financially or emotionally, you need to be mentally healthy first.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Saying good bye to your therapist.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Therapist

Therapist.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

When is it time to end therapy?

How do you know when it is time to end therapy? Some people go for a few sessions and then they are done, while others, well they keep going for years. How would you know it is time to end the therapy sessions? And what should you be doing after the time with your counselor ends?

This parting of the ways can be hard for both of you. Therapists study in school a process called “termination.”  We know that ending a relationship, especially one as emotionally close as counseling, can be difficult. Sometimes this ending the counseling relationship needs to happen over several sessions. This is especially true if you have trust or abandonment issues.

Sometimes we counselors hate to see a client stop coming, not just for the money but because the counselor will miss them.

Of course, there are times you need to keep going to therapy even when you don’t feel like it. Working on issues can be painful at times and perseverance pays off. But other times it is best to end or take a break from therapy.

If you have been questioning whether you still need to go see the counselor every week please talk this over with them. They may have suggestions about other things you need to work on and you can make a decision about those things. Remember the final decision is yours. Here are some times you may need to stop going to therapy.

You have accomplished the counseling goals you set.

The thing that pushes many people into therapy is a crisis or acute problem in your life. You go, you work on your issue and then things start getting better. If you find yourself looking for things to talk about rather than having pressing needs to talk then you may be ready to end therapy.

Think carefully about the thing that brought you to the therapist’s office in the first place. Was this an unexpected problem, a job loss, or death in the family?  Or was this breakup or job loss a recurring pattern in your life that needs complete examination if you are to rid your life of this recurring issue?

Do you think of the counselor as a friend instead of a professional helper?

If you find you are going because your therapist is your friend then you may be ready to end this relationship. A counselor’s job is to help you develop the skills you need to move on in life. You should be working on making other friends and developing a support system.

No one person in your life can be your one and only support system. If you are dependent on your counselor because you have no friends outside that relationship you need to be working on how to create that support system. The counselor can support you in the process of creating other supports but they should avoid creating a situation where you become dependent on them.

If you start worrying about your therapist’s feelings and how they will take your desire to end treatment, then you have shifted from being the client to trying to caretake the counselor’s feelings. You probably are done, at least for now.

You find it hard to give up other activities to go to therapy.

If you find that you are passing up on other activates you would like to participate in to go see the counselor this suggests you are getting ready to end the sessions. The goals of therapy, depending on the identified problem, should be for you to reach the point you can function at work, with family and friends, and that there are things you enjoy doing.

If this problem is no longer interfering with those social and job-related activities and you are not feeling distressed over your problems then you are getting ready to transition to living life without that weekly therapy visit.

What was the problem? It’s time to end therapy if you can’t remember why you are going.

If you talked all up and down and around and now find that you can’t identify a problem that needs work you are ready to end treatment. If you have moved from getting treatment for a problem to just wanting advice and ideas on how to be happier or more productive you have transitioned from doing therapy to something more like life coaching. Licensed Therapists and Counselors can do life coaching. If you have any mental or emotional issues I recommend you get your coaching from someone trained in mental health. Remember though that life coaching is a different skill from therapy and probably is not covered by your insurance.

You are not making any progress on your issues.

At times there are periods where work is going on and you do not yet see the results. Do not give up before the miracles happen. But if you feel you have moved as far as you can with this provider or this therapeutic approach. Talk this over with your counselor and see what insight they can offer. Sometimes you need a break from therapy and at other times you may need to work with a new person who can offer you a new perspective.

There are other reasons that you may want or need to end counseling, but those are some of the bigger ones. Have you found it hard to end therapy? Have you stopped going and how did that work out for you?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Why do mice and researchers get it wrong?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Sometimes the mice get it wrong.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Why don’t the things we find in mouse studies work for humans?

Quite often these days we hear about a new research study that sounds like someone discovered a cure for some disease or a drug that helps a particular condition. I and other writers read these research studies. The news media may get hold of it and there go the articles about how someone may have found a cure for a particular disorder. And then nothing happens. Worse than nothing, eventually that medication or procedure is tried on a human and it just doesn’t work.

Why is it so much easier to find medications for mice than for humans?

Recently Dr. Insel, director of the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) wrote an editorial on just that topic, titled “Lost in Translation.

Let me preface this by saying I am a writer and a talk therapist, not a research scientist. My way of understanding and telling you about these complicated science things is to create an analogy that helps explain them. Hopefully, my analogy is not too far off. For the full story in the technical language check out the original editorial.

Mice brains are like human brains, sort of. We have structures in our brains very much like those in the mice brains and nervous system. Additionally, we have a whole lot more things in our brains.

Think of this as trying to evaluate new designs for cars by trying them out on bicycles.

Yes, bicycles have wheels and a steering mechanism vaguely like a car, but that car has a lot of parts not found on the bicycle. So what might work when installed on the bike, may be worthless on an auto going 65 miles per hour.

Our human brains are not all one giant thing. There are a host of parts and pieces in that brain. Some of the things that go wrong in the human brain could be because one part is not working right or is too big, too small, or because that part is not talking (Communicating) with other parts correctly.

We can test our new med on the mouse but since he lacks some of those parts that the human brain has the result in humans is different. Over the last few years, researchers have found drugs that could cure most mental illnesses in mice. Unfortunately, most of these discoveries did not work in humans.

One solution to this problem is to test new medications and procedures on animals that are more like humans. Non-human Primates are one possibility. The larger the primate and the closer their brain is to humans the more that med should work in the primate’s brain the same way it would work on a human. But there are problems with this approach.

First, we have the question of ethics. Is it right or necessary to test new drugs on primates? In fact, there have been some suggestions, mostly well-founded, that too much stuff is tested on animals when we already know what it will do and this causes these animals needless suffering.

If you have a family member who has Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s you are probably OK with us testing some drugs on animals that might save your family member’s life or their cognitive function. Considering the number of mice and rats that are poisoned each year for health and sanitation reasons it seems hard to object to research on rodents as long as it is done in a humane way. I will not try here to define humane and will leave that to the reader’s sensibilities.

Far fewer people will be willing to see us test a host of drugs on primates, especially the big primates, like Gorillas and Baboons, which act so much like humans, unless this is absolutely necessary.

Another possibility is getting a lot of use these days. We can grow cells in the lab and then test medications on those lab-grown cells. This works some of the time but has some of the same issues as the mice brain. What works in the lab, in a test tube or petri dish, does not always work the same way in humans.

These same issues of transferability or “generalizability” occur in behavioral or psychological studies in humans. We try something with a few dozen college students at one particular school and then someone suggests that this same approach will work with – say – inner-city kids in another country.

With mental health treatments, there is, here in the United States, a registry of things we call “Evidenced Based Practices.” For medications, there are long testing processes before a drug can be sold for use on humans.

Keep these issues in mind as you read articles about psychological research, whether it is in the counselorssoapbox blog or elsewhere. I will do my best to tell you about new research and what we know or think we know about mental and emotional issues and their treatment but that “what we know” may change as more and better research comes in. Even with its shortcomings, the newest research says we know far more about humans, their brains, nervous systems, and how to help them than we knew even a couple of years ago. Let’s see where the future goes.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Why DCFS says see a therapist

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Therapy.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

You have a lot to do – why do they say you need therapy?

Clients tell me that “I am not crazy. I don’t need to be here.” Mostly I tell them I agree they are not crazy. But I do think some counseling or therapy could help them. Counseling may help them develop better life skills, find a better job, have better relationships, be a better parent or it may simply get that agency off their back. Government agencies, DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services), CPS (Child Protective Services, Parole, Probation, and welfare agencies of all sorts refer people to see therapists every day.

People often come because someone, somewhere, who has some control over their life says they need to see a therapist or counselor.  They may not understand why, but I do think seeing a counselor or therapist could help them. Here are some reasons you might get a referral to see a therapist and how to make use of that referral to improve your life.

Depressed parents create problems for their children.

Depression, anxiety, stress, and a bunch of other problems do not just affect the parent. If you have struggles they are affecting your children. Being a parent is a lot more than the simple mechanical part of reproduction.

Most parents try to be the best parents they can but if you’re struggling each day just to get through the day you have nothing left to give your child.

The time to get help for your children is “the sooner the better.” Some things they may just outgrow but if you go for help no harm done. If your child does need help early intervention can change the trajectory of their life.

The most powerful intervention for children many times is helping their parents work out their problems. Marriage counseling for the parents can be helpful to a child with ADHD. Who can concentrate in school when your parents were having a loud argument last night?

Parents who are struggling have difficulty with relationships.

It takes a lot more skill to have a happy relationship than most people think. Navigating life takes skill unless you have fantastic luck. Even the lucky need some skills to make use of those lucky breaks. What is happening in your life affects your relationship. What happens in your relationships affects your life.

If you and your partner are having conflicts at home that results in you taking that relationship stress to work. Being in a bad mood after an argument with your partner may cost you your job.

The reverse is also possible, Have a tough day at work and you are at risk to have arguments with your partner. Learning relationship skills that help smooth the way at work and at home can make your life more successful. A counselor can help with all these skill sets.

Finding a job is good for your mental health.

Finding a job is tough sometimes, the worse the economy the tougher that search becomes. Plenty of people have come to counseling discouraged. They may have been trying really hard but their job search is not working. They are applying at places that are not hiring, they lack the skills for the job they want and they had not thought about doing the job that is hiring.

Career counseling can help you figure out what job you want to do, what you might be good at, and how to get from where you are to where you want to be.

Getting a job does wonders for many people’s mental health. Finding a career that you love and that pays well can make a permanent improvement in your mental health. When you are down it is harder to find a job.

If your parents were not good at parenting you will have difficulties.

If your parents were not the best or if you were busy growing up and missed the lessons on being an adult and how to parent you should have received, then counseling can help.

Clients with no children and no plans to become parents can still benefit from taking a parenting education class. You may need to learn about the developmental tasks you should have learned at each age and if you did not get them along the way you need to learn them now.

Besides, you may encounter children in life other than your own and it is helpful to know about them.

Staying mentally healthy is a skill people can learn not something you were born with.

Regulating your emotions is a skill and skills can be learned. Some people picked this up on their own. Some had great teachers or parents in their life. Most of us had to learn about anger and sadness and how to cope with negative emotions the hard way.

There are things you can do every day to improve your mental health and there are things you may be doing that can make that emotional life of yours worse.

Most people know about skills to stay physically healthy whether they use those skills or not. Learning skills to be mentally healthy, that is something you might need help with. You could get that help in small doses from the internet or reading self-help books, but to really get focused help working on your problems you need in-person individualized help.

If your emotional issues have gotten severe enough that you have developed a disorder, a mental illness, depression, anxiety, a substance use disorder, or anger problems, then for sure you need professional help to get out of that mentally unhealthy place.

You could wait for that physical illness to just go away on its own but most people are wise enough to go get medical help when they have an illness in their body. A mental or emotional illness responds to treatment in the same way.

Many people do not have good support systems.

Some people have great support systems, most do not. Family and partners can get worn out listening to your problems and sometimes what you need most are to talk those problems out.

The family gets emotionally involved, they want you to do certain things or not do them. They may take sides in disagreements. A counselor can be supportive while helping you find the answers that are best for you.

Stressed out people tend to use drugs and alcohol to cope and the family pays the price.

A huge number of referrals by agencies are for people who are using or abusing drugs or alcohol. The agency may not even know that you are using, but excessive reliance on substances can result in impaired ability to fulfill the other roles in your life.

Many people with emotional problems turn to substances to cope. A little beer or wine to relax or some stimulants to keep going. Over time that reliance on a substance can begin to cause problems rather than solve them. A counselor can help you judge whether your use is impacting other areas of your life and help you decide what you want to do about that.

I have written in other places about the times that the counselor has to report that kind of use and the times they can maintain that secret. That is a long discussion and you may need to read those other posts or the full version in a book that I am working on that should be out soon.

Rest assured that most therapist’s goal is to help you cope, not to get you to say something that they will use against you.

If you have been referred to counseling or therapy consider what you want to accomplish in your life and how that counselor might be able to help you make your life better.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Can’t tell your counselor that?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Can't Say That

Can’t Say That

What do you do if there are things you can’t tell your counselor?

Clients and commenters have told me a number of times that there were things that they had not felt able to tell their therapists in the past. Some said they were afraid to cry in front of the counselor or there were secrets they just hadn’t been able to tell.

For therapy to provide the maximum of help there really should not be anything you can’t tell your therapist. If you are holding back there are some questions you should ask yourself.

Counseling should be a place where you can talk about anything. It needs to be a safe environment and you need to feel that the counselor will not violate your trust. If you are having doubts ask yourself why? Do any of these reasons apply?

Is it really unsafe to tell them?

If you are being interviewed by the police psychiatrist you need to talk to your lawyer first. When the other person does not work for you and is deciding your fate there may be a reason you need to withhold information.

Therapists have certain legal mandates. You talk about ongoing child abuse and we probably will need to report that. I have written in other posts about those legal mandates. Remember that the reason we need to make these reports is not to get you punished but to help you and the victim to end the problem. If you are suicidal we want to help save your life.

I hope if you went to the therapist for an abuse or harm situation you are there to get help in changing the situation. If you don’t want to change the situation why are you seeing the therapist?

Is your therapist judging you?

This is a recurring problem in religious and ethnic communities. If you have selected a counselor because they are a member of your particular religious community or they are of the same ethnicity as you there could be things that you will feel unable to talk about.

A good therapist should be able to set their personal beliefs aside and help you. Some counselors feel so strongly about a particular issue that they can’t do that and while they may tell you upfront about their beliefs, that point of view may permeate the conversations.

Some ethnic communities are small and everyone knows everyone. Say your family is from a particular culture and you have been dating someone from a different culture.

This has been a particular problem in the faith-based” communities. A woman told me that she saw a therapist from her particular religious group. This therapist had a strong pro-life anti-abortion view and had pro-life items displayed in the office. One of this client’s core issues was that she had guilt over having had an abortion in her younger days. She felt unable to share about that guilt and felt judged by her therapist’s disapproval of abortion and sex outside marriage.

Clients struggling with sexual issues, coming out because they are gay or past relationships that were outside of wedlock have told me that when they broached these topics their counselor reacted so negatively towards those behaviors they felt they could not talk about these issues in the future.

Sometimes there are advantages to seeing a therapist that is outside your religious or ethnic group as they will have less of a tendency to judge you over current or past actions that were outside the beliefs of your group.

Are you still trying to pretend you are OK?

Some people believe that if they give in to their feelings they will “fall apart” and never get back to where they are. People have commented that if they start to cry they will never stop. I haven’t seen that yet.

What we do see is people who have things they really need to cry about. Crying is a part of grief, loss, and a lot of other life issues. The problem often is not that you won’t stop but that you have something you need to cry about and not letting yourself feel your feelings is keeping you stuck.

One school of counseling uses a technique called “prescribing the symptoms.” In this approach, the client is told to cry more not less. Each night when you are able to get alone you plan to cry for at least an hour. Most people will find it hard to cry that full hour. After a few days of crying many people run out of tears.

What you learn is that they are so many tears needed and no more. Another thing you might learn from making yourself or allowing yourself to cry is that if you can make yourself cry, then you can turn the tears off when you need to.

Do not ever be afraid to cry, be weak, or be struggling when you are with your counselor. We know that people have emotions they need to deal with and what better place to express them than in the safety of the therapist’s office?

Have you been feeling there are things that you will never be able to tell your therapist? Think about why there are things you find it hard to talk about with your therapist and see if you can get past this impediment to your recovery.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Choosing between the law or your ethics, a dilemma for counselors.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Ethics.

What if the law says the counselor should do something but doing it will hurt someone?

Occasionally a reader sends in a question that has far-reaching consequences. The question below made me stop and think about what we counselors and therapists do, and how that fits into the larger context of the world around us and the issues of what is right and wrong.

“What if a 16-year-old girl is being sexually abused by her uncle and he threatens her not to tell anybody, but she tells her therapist. On the other hand in the girl’s culture, any girl who lost her virginity before marriage should be killed, what would a therapist do in this situation?”

Every profession has those times when the ethics of that profession conflict with the laws of that time and place. Psychiatry and mental health are not immune to these conflicts.

In past posts, I have written a lot about what counselors have to report and what they can keep confidential. My posts were based on the laws and customs of America, California in particular. They assume that the people who live here all adhere to the dominant culture and values and that things will work out the way they are supposed to.

What about the times that things do not go according to plan?

Psychotherapy as it is currently practiced, talk therapy, has a distinctly western flavor. The things we take as givens here in America may not be truths in other places. What is true today has not always been true even here in the United States.

The status of Women and Children has changed dramatically in the history of the United States. The standing of women, their rights to education, the vote, and the treatment that they can expect are all very recent developments here. As recent news stories have demonstrated the consequences of violence towards women and children continue to evolve.

We have heard older colleagues, those who lived in Europe during the time of World War II and the Holocaust, told in detail why they would resist telling any government what a client reveals in therapy for any reason. This question from a reader suggests just such a reason for not revealing a mandated report.

Making exceptions to confidentiality is and always has been a slippery slope. Trying to apply current American standards to the practice of therapy in another place is highly problematic. Lest the reader think this is only a problem in some countries somewhere over there, I need to remind them throughout this essay of the times that American Therapists have been asked to lower the bar and report crimes of all sorts.

First, let me deal with the specifics of this question as it might happen here in California, then what might happen if American therapy was being practiced in a country with non-western laws, and lastly how these values creep may affect clients everywhere in the future.

To try to navigate this conflict between confidentiality and the government’s desire to know what people in therapy say we have created a host of laws and those laws have been modified by further statutes and court decisions. I am no lawyer but the lawyer’s rigged this game by telling us that “ignorance of the laws is no excuse.” Here is my lay understanding of our laws and an encouragement to anyone who is faced with these kinds of situations to consult your own legal advisor rather than rely on my imperfect understandings.

In the question above. The client is over 16. There would be different rules if she were 14-15 and other laws if she was under 14.  A client over 16 can consent to most kinds of sex. If the uncle is younger than age 26 and the sex is vaginal, no report. We report child sexual abuse, not crimes. What if the Uncle was 40 or he sodomized her? Then by law, we need to make this report.

A goal of child abuse reporting is to protect children. So if Child Protective Services believed that, based on cultural values, this family might kill this daughter for not being a virgin they could ask for a hold and remove the child from the family to protect her. Will they? That is questionable. The police or courts may not approve of the removal. The family may deny that they will harm the child and the child may stay in the home.

There have been cases reported in the media here were women committed adultery and the family knowing that they could not harm her here have returned to the country they came from where she could be stoned to death for that adultery. If this situation happened here in California could the family still kill this child or send her back to their home village where she would be killed? I think this is possible. Should our system protect her? Absolutely. Can we guarantee this? Maybe not.

This is a case where the therapist will need to consult with an attorney and then may elect to talk with the Child Protective Services or not depending on their belief that the system could protect this client, that and their sense of right and wrong. This is one reason that “informed consent” is so important. This client and all clients should be told upfront about what will and will not be reportable. In practice, this means trying to guess what things the client will want to talk about and doing the informed part, having long documents explaining informed consent, or having to stop if things are getting into an area that may be a problem and explain this as it applies to that client.

What if this therapist is practicing in a country where killing women who lost their virginity before marriage is an accepted practice? I think that American notions of ethical behavior may not apply well when a professional tries to practice western style therapy in a place that does not uphold western values.

Take an extreme case. If a counselor was still practicing in an area now controlled by ISIS (ISIL) they may be required to report clients who are practicing a “heretical religion” the result might be therapists who are ferreting out infidels and marking them for elimination. A therapist working in a totalitarian country would have to be very careful to not become a tool of the state in finding undesirables. Think about therapists who practiced in Nazi-occupied areas. See why they might be opposed to any requirement to report anything to the government?

Is America asking therapists to become informants?

I think that there is an increasing pressure to have therapists spot people who are doing illegal things and tell on them. Every time there is a violent crime on the news there are questions about why some mental health person did not spot this and report or stop it. There are many reasons why this does not work. The majority of people do not see therapists at all, ever, even when they need to. Those who do see a counselor often do not tell us that they are planning to do something.

Every therapist sees lots of people who have anger issues or emotional regulation problems and who MIGHT get violent. So far I have seen no system that predicts potential violence accurately enough that we could start locking people up who may do something in the future. There are just so many potentially violent people that the jails would not hold them all. Only a small fraction of those who “might become violent” ever do.

We have gone a long way to prevent people from being locked up for what they think or what someone else thinks they may do. There was a time when any man could get his wife locked up in a mental hospital for years just by saying she was crazy. Now the standards to detain people are pretty high and then only for a few days to be sure.

So what other things are therapists being asked to report?

Think of some of the things that could be potential reports and therefore exceptions to confidentiality. How about domestic violence? Or cruelty to animals? What about someone with AIDS who is not using protection and has multiple sexual partners. Are they doing something that could kill another person? Should we tell women if their partners are having affairs or what about homosexual experiences?

What about people who drive drunk? Or do drugs? If someone is selling drugs to elementary school kids? Should that get reported? Or maybe just drug dealing in general? How about cheating on your taxes or financial fraud?

While we are at it what about reporting terrorist activities?

There are some things, like child abuse and plans to kill yourself that most of us would agree need to be reported. I very much believe that therapists and society in general needs to keep all these exceptions to confidentiality at a minimum otherwise we will be turning therapists into practitioners of “enhanced interrogation techniques.”  Any of you who say that those techniques are not torture, would you like your ex and her lawyer to question you that way?

In a free society, we need to maximize people’s ability to be safe in what they tell their counselor. We also need to recognize that it can be a short hop from mandated reporting to fingering people who are members of an unpopular religion or political group. Remember that many societies are not as free and safe as we are here and in America. Staying this free requires vigilance and it means keeping the standards of confidentiality as high as possible.

To the reader who asked this question my suggestion is that someone in this situation should not be talking about this unless they can be sure about their safety. They should look for someone who can help them get to safety if possible. Try to find a way to end this situation soon or an unwanted pregnancy may end you.

Sometimes all a counselor can do is to help a client learn to cope with the situation and hope that situation will change. Hope this long answer shed some small light on the topic of confidentiality and mandated reports.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

What is an evidence based practice?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Counseling questions

Counseling questions.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Which therapy methods really work?

If you have a particular “mental illness” what treatment would be best for you and how would you find someone who did that type of therapy? Should you seek out a CBT therapist or a DBT one? Is there really a difference?

The answer is more difficult to find than you might think.

The fields of counseling and therapy are full of practitioners who each have created their own varieties of treatment. Unfortunately what works for one client does not always work for another. Also what works when one therapist uses it does not always seem to work when another counselor tries it.

So how do we establish what methods work and what are wastes of time and money? If insurance, private or public programs, are going to provide or pay for the treatment they want some assurance that the treatment will work. If you are paying out of your own pocket you deserve the same level of confidence.

Some “schools” of therapy have been very resistant to being evaluated; others have embraced the processes of evaluation. There are at this point in time more questions than answers.

National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices.

Creating a list or registry of therapies that work is one possible solution. Here in the U. S., the most comprehensive list is found at the National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices. This is however not the only list.

The last time I looked, this database contained 340 different programs or practices that had been registered and evaluated. Not all of these programs are equal. Some have many studies and are deemed very reliable and others have few studies, with only small groups of people and are still questionable.

Nevertheless, having a list that we can look at helps narrow down the range of treatments that may be helpful. This list also seems to rule out some treatments that are questionable or unhelpful.

Just looking up your condition and finding a treatment that was shown to work in a particular study is not the whole answer. Given one treatment model, not all therapists are equally good at using it. A treatment that worked well with military veterans may not be right for teens. The group or “population” being treated matters.

Another factor is how close to the original method a therapist works. Some providers will stay very close to the original model and others will vary what they do depending on the client. Some methods seem to work best when the practitioner sticks to the “script.” Other methods work better when tailored to the client. Some practices have detailed manuals the provider is supposed to follow and others are more general theories

No matter what theory or method a therapist uses the success of the treatment is hugely influenced by the relationship between the therapist and the client. If you think this person can help you then they can. If you do not believe in what the therapist is doing then it is much less likely to be helpful.

While professions continue to develop ways to be helpful to clients what you should be looking for is someone who can help you with your particular problem. Find someone who feels right to you if possible. Expect that you will need to do some work and sometimes that work will feel uncomfortable. Therapy may even feel painful at times when you have to face traumas and hurts from the past.

Keep in mind that good therapy is not something the therapist does to you, but a process you and they do together that helps you create the best life possible.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Why counseling does not take.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Therapy

Therapy.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

4 Reasons counseling does not work for you.

You go for counseling and while you are there in the counseling room everything seems better. You know what you need to do. You are ready for a change. Only over the next few days the vision of recovery you had in that counseling room fades and the things you thought you understood all get lost.

Why can’t you hold onto what happened in the counseling room when you get back to that real life?

Personally, I am skeptical of counseling that goes on for years with nothing changing. How long the process of change will take you depends on where you started your journey and how far you need to go to reach your recovery.

If you are not making the progress you think you should be making, discuss this with your counselor. I learned early on that it is not exclusively what happens in the therapy hour that helps clients but what they are doing to practice these new life skills in the other 167 hours each week that they are not in therapy.

As a cognitively oriented therapist, I like to suggest practice sessions, a form of homework, which clients need to do each week between sessions so that when we meet again we can talk about how to improve their recovery not just go over the same ideas again.

Here are some reasons that your work in the therapy session may not be transferring to the out of therapy world.

1. You can’t learn to swim in the classroom.

A long time ago the preferred method of teaching swimming and scuba diving was to show lots of classroom movies and have slide shows and demonstrations of how to swim and how to put on your scuba gear underwater.

What the trainers quickly discovered was that what people learned in the classroom did not translate well into the water.

The best way to learn is under real-life conditions. So if you get your instruction on swimming in the pool each thing you do is quickly reinforced.

Lots of cognitive therapy is about learning life skills and perfecting those skills takes practice. I encourage clients to come to the session and talk about the times they tried to use their new skills outside my office and how that worked out for them.

In some situations, therapists have needed to go out into the field and help the client walk through the new life skill under real conditions.

So whatever you are trying to change about yourself practice between therapy sessions and then discuss the results the next time. Do not leave the lesson in the office.

2. Insight does not change you.

Many people come to counseling wanting to know why they are doing things. I can’t fault you for wanting to learn all you can about yourself. Getting to know you is a lifelong adventure.

The fallacy in this approach is that having once come to understand your inner workings you may still keep doing the things the same way you always did.

Several stories about this topic come from the realm of substance abuse. More than one alcoholic has gone for psychoanalysis, sometimes or a long period of time and at a great cost, when their therapy concluded the client was sure that now, understanding their inner workings, they would never drink again. Within days that person was drinking to intoxication again.

Overheard in a bar; one patron was telling the other that they were an alcoholic, the second patron replied, me too. So they sat for a while and discussed why they both were alcoholics.

The conversation concluded, they both ordered another round.

Insight by itself does not result in change. Change takes more than insight. It takes motivation. It takes practice and once those changes have been made change takes maintenance.

3. Venting does not help if you keep filling up the negative emotions.

People like to think that getting it all out will rid them of negative emotions. We used to try this with couples who were having excessive arguments. The couple would yell and scream at each other in the session. Some therapists even had the couple hit each other with foam rubber bats.

The result of this venting was not a reduction in anger. The “venting session” resulted in couples who went home and then hit each other with real bats.

Venting can function as a rehearsal. The more you vent the more you become quickly triggered by anger, depression, or cravings for drugs and alcohol.

4. You never talk about what is really bothering you.

The best predictor of successful therapy is your belief that this person you are talking to can help you. If you do not feel comfortable and really open up then the big stuff that you are holding back will never get taken care of.

One recovery saying is that you are only as sick as your secrets. This is especially true in therapy if you do not feel safe to open up and talk about what is ailing you. If you are not sure what secrets your therapist will tell and what they will keep secret, look back at some of the past posts on this topic or ask your therapist to explain confidentiality to you.

If you are in therapy now or have been to therapy and you did not feel it was helpful these are some of the reasons it may not have “taken” there may be other very personal reasons also. Make sure you tell your current counselor about those past efforts and especially tell them any reasons you felt it was not helpful to you.

An informed therapy client gets more benefit out of counseling.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

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