Category Archives: Mental Health

What causes Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder – ADHD?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Sad child

ADHD?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

What do were really know about who gets ADHD and why?

Developmental Psychopathology is the discipline that studies why one person gets a mental illness and another does not. This discipline also looks at how a disorder develops over a lifetime. Developmental psychopathology has a lot to tell us about who gets ADHD and why.

The picture, when it comes to ADHD and most other disorders is not as clear as we would wish. With all the people currently taking meds for ADHD, you would think that professionals would know what ADHD was and what was causing it.

Both of these questions are fuzzy.

Developmental psychopathology tells us that there are two primary ways of behaving. Some people internalize and hold it all in. They are prone to depression and anxiety.

Other people externalize and let it all out. They are likely to get in trouble, get labeled oppositional defiant, conduct disordered, or even anti-social.

People with ADHD may internalize, externalize, or do both.

What we call ADHD is in essence three different problems and those problems can occur in multiple combinations. First the three problems and then the possible causes.

1. Impulsivity – poor behavioral inhibition is the defining characteristic.

Poor impulse control is a prominent feature of most children. It also affects many adults both with and without ADHD. So if you find it hard to control your impulses you are at risk of getting an ADHD diagnosis.

This makes ADHD hard to differentiate from bad behavior or criminal behavior for that matter. Some have argued that most people in prison are there because they have ADHD. I find that hard to believe.

But when we see the way addicts and alcoholics struggle to not drink and use, then that feature of loss of behavioral control seems to fit a lot of socially unacceptable behavior.

Impulsivity looks a lot like acting out or externalizing behavior.

2. Inattention.

Paying attention, in my view, is a skill that people can learn or improve. We believe, partly based on the existence of the ADHD diagnosis, that there are some people who have difficulty focusing their attention when they try to do that.

Impulsive people have more difficulty sustaining their attention because they keep getting distracted by other things that catch their attention.

Inattention or impaired ability to sustain attention is a characteristic of internalizing disorders. When you are depressed you can’t pay attention. Neither can the anxious person. So professionals need to be very careful to not call depression or anxiety by the wrong name – ADHD.

3. Hyperactivity.

This is a problematic criterion some of the time. What is hyper or excessive activity is in the eye of the beholder. The child who will not sit still in class looks hyperactive when they are in class. The child who sits quietly in their seat looks normal.

But put these two children out on the soccer field and the child that sits down and watches rather than plays looks underactive and the child that runs after the ball for long periods of time, they become the star player.

Increase the amount of exercise and the child that is hyperactive may calm down and sit still. This running to cure ADHD is the precise opposite of the fall-behind-in-your-work and you lose your recess approach.

All three of these factors, poor inhibition of impulses, inattention, and hyperactivity can occur in varying amounts and combinations in any one person. This makes us wonder about the causes of ADHD.

Is there one cause of ADHD or many?

A number of things have been identified as risk factors for ADHD.

There are also ADHD protective factors.

1. Genetics play a role in who gets ADHD.

Up to 75% of the risk of getting ADHD can be accounted for by various genetic factors. Wish this explained something. There are at least 7 different genetic mutations affecting two different neurotransmitter systems that increase the risk. These 7 genes in all the possible combinations result in up to 5,000 different combinations of genes that may increase the risk. But this risk factor does not guarantee you get ADHD and there are other risks and protective factors.

These genes are not specific to ADHD so they may be causing other mental illness and these illnesses may be risks for ADHD.

2. Environment, especially parenting, is a risk factor that may explain the other 25% of ADHD.

For most people parents provide both genetics and environment which makes it hard to disentangle the effects of the two.

One thing we find that helps solve this puzzle is that if a parent has two of the symptoms of ADHD, say dad has ADHD and is inattentive and impulsive, there is a high chance that his son will not only have ADHD but will also be inattentive and impulsive.

The children of parents that have ADHD have a high incidence of the same form of ADHD the parent had.

Things would be simpler if people had one and only one disorder. But most people with ADHD have two, three, or more.

Almost half of all children with ADHD also have a diagnosis of Anxiety disorder. This complicates treatment for children with ADHD. In adults, one thing we are told to recommend to our clients is to reduce their intake of caffeine and other stimulants, like amphetamine. But for kids with ADHD and anxiety disorder, the treatment is to put them on a prescribed amphetamine.

I find this confusing. If it makes you wonder, talk with your prescribing psychiatrist about your or your child’s meds. (Yes there are non-stimulant ADHD meds but they do not get prescribed all that often.) Side effects of prescribed medications can look like a mental illness. If you have confusion, depression, or anxiety and are taking prescribed medication discuss your emotional problems with your doctor and see if your meds could be causing some of your symptoms.

A second disorder that coexists with childhood ADHD is substance use or abuse disorder. Occasionally the ADHD child is doing drugs but a lot of the time it is mom that is on drugs and this increases the risk of the child having ADHD even if mom does not start drugs until after the child is born. Yes having a mother who is using increases childhood ADHD.

Having a depressed or anxious mother also is a risk factor for developing ADHD.

There have been even more studies on dad than mom in the ADHD area. If dad had any acting out problems as a child there is at high risk that the child, boy or girl, will also act out and get in trouble at school and with the law.

We do know that the ability to pay attention develops over time and that there are ways to increase your ability to pay attention other than taking meds. It also appears that the brain circuits that control attention also overlap those for emotional regulation. More on these topics in posts to come.

Did that help explain ADHD and its possible causes?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

How many kinds of attention are there?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Attention sign

Attention sign.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

You need more than one kind of paying attention skill

One kind of paying attention skill is not enough. From the first day of life, you had to pay attention. As you grew and developed you needed to learn other attention skills. There are reasons why you may have found one kind of paying attention more difficult than another.

In a previous post, we looked at ADHD and how people get the ADHD diagnosis because of behavior. That behavioral deficit gets blamed on the attention paying part. Turns out that we are not all talking about the same thing when we say “pay attention.”

Starting from the day you were born here are the paying attention skills humans need to learn.

1. Alert attention – recognize that there is something out there

From that first day, babies begin to attend to physical sensations. They recognize and respond to hunger and thirst, hot and cold, and all the other physical needs.

You will never stop paying attention to those feelings of hunger or the startle response to loud noises.

Many people have their alert attention volume set to high. The result is that a nose in the next room causes them to jump out of their skin. This can result in an anxiety disorder. Some people get ADHD diagnosis because of anxiety not any lack of attention. They just respond to and attend to sights, sounds, or smells in an excessive manner. They can’t seem to ignore these Alert attention cures.

Life experiences, single or complex traumas, can increase this startle response form of “paying attention.”

2. Orienting attention.

By three months of age, a baby not only alerts to a stimulus but tracks that stimulus. You hear a sound, you jump. Then you look intently for where this is coming from. You stare at the stimulus. In the meantime, you have forgotten all about what you were doing and thinking about.

This tracking, attending behavior, draws you away from what you were attending to in the first place. This easily distracted form of attention tracking can keep you safe if something dangerous is going on but it can be annoying to other people, notably adults if the child stopped paying attention to the adult to attend to tracking this sudden stimulus.

3. Sustained Attention.

This paying attention skill causes the most problems for most people who end up in therapy. Too much or too little of this attention paying skill gets you an ADHD diagnosis.

In sustained attention, you need to keep your attention on one thing while ignoring all others. So the teacher tells you to read your storybook for the next ten minutes. Sustained attention keeps you reading.

People who find that they are paying attention to alerts have problems sustaining attention. Someone in the back of the class starts talking you turn around to listen and you get in trouble for “not paying attention.”

If you are good at tracking attention you might see someone walking by the classroom window and you track their progress. You might even get up and walk over to the window to see where they are going. This gets you in trouble for “not paying attention” to your reading despite the fact that you are getting really good at tracking attention.

Too much-sustained attention is a bad thing.

After ten minutes, your teacher tells the class to stop reading it is now time for math. You, having mastered sustained attention, do not hear her and continue to read. You are now attending to the story and it is interesting. The result is you get in trouble for “not paying attention” to what the teacher is saying.

There is a related phenomenon we see in substance abusers. When under the influence of a stimulant drug, methamphetamine, in particular, they have excessive sustained attention. They refer to this as “getting stuck.” The person may begin to clean the kitchen floor and two days later is still down on their knees cleaning the cracks in the tile with a toothbrush. They have become stuck and can’t shift their attention.

This makes me wonder if some of the benefits of stimulant ADHD medications are the result of “Stuck attention” in which the person can sustain the attention for long periods of time but may not be able to use the other forms of “paying attention.”

What you needed at this point is the next form of attention “Executive attention.”

4. Executive attention is the ability to move your attention around as needed.

With good executive attention, you can attend to what you want to or should be attending to. Sometimes as in the last example these two attention demands are in conflict. You want to continue reading but you need to shift your attention and take out your math book. This attention issue is one you will continue to develop across your lifetime.

Remember your first-grade teacher’s demands for attention when you are retired and your spouse asks “were you listening to me?”

5. Selective attention.

Most attention researchers list three kinds of attention. The trouble is they do not list the same three types. Some researchers include selective attention under executive attention others under sustained attention.

What happens is that over time you develop personal rules for how you decide what you will pay attention to. This may have to do with your interests. It may also have to do with how hard you get hit if you do not select the form of attention an adult is expecting.

Worth noting is that problems with selective attention overlap almost all known forms of mental, emotional, or behavioral disorders. Defects in selective attention processes are linked to autism spectrum disorders, depression, bipolar disorders, anxiety, psychosis, ADHD, learning disorders, behavioral and conduct disorders.

This makes me wonder if ADHD, or selective attention defects specifically, is a cause of symptoms in these other disorders, or is it a symptom of another problem that is not getting recognized until much later in life? You can have ADHD, Anxiety, depression, and a substance abuse problem. But which is causing which is another topic.

Stay tuned for more posts on the subjects of attention, ADHD, and how you might learn skills to improve your attention.

Keep working on your ability to use all the types of paying attention.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

What is causing the ADHD epidemic?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Sad child

ADHD?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

What is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and why is it on the rise?

ADHD appears to be everywhere. It is spreading faster than obesity. In my therapy practice, most of my adult clients tell me that they were diagnosed with ADHD at some time in the past. Most of them have children with an ADHD diagnosis. It is common for the young people who come to see me to have, as their first diagnosis, ADHD.

ADHD is now something everyone gets. Over a nine-year period, the number of girls diagnosed with ADHD increased by 600% (Robinson et al., 2002.) It is no longer exclusively a diagnosis of children as adults and even senior citizens are receiving the diagnosis.

One author tells us that if the current trend continues, within 20 years, half of all children will be on an ADHD med (paraphrased from Shannon, 2009.)

Why is ADHD so common and what is fueling its spread?

To answer this question there a number of factors we need to look at. What is ADHD? Even more basic, what is Attention, and what is hyperactivity? We also need to know is attention abilities something you are born with or does it develop over time? Are there things you can do to improve your attention or is this just the way you are? Are there alternatives to taking stimulant meds and do those alternatives really work?

The relationship with other mental emotional and behavioral disorders is also important. There is a lot of overlap between having ADHD and having Autism, depression, anxiety and substance use disorders.

There are also cultural factors in ADHD. Certain population groups are more likely to get the ADHD diagnosis than others. Who gets diagnosed also is affected dramatically by who does the “testing” and who gives out the diagnosis.

There has been a lot of research on ADHD and its treatment recently. As I am able to read that research I want to report back to you what I find out and how you may be able to apply these ideas to your life or the life of someone you care about.

From the day a child is born there is pressure to behave in certain ways. Some children are more active than others. Some from day one have better abilities to “pay attention” but genetics is not the whole story of why some people are diagnosed with ADHD and others are not.

Learning to pay attention.

Regardless of age, a person can learn skills to improve their ability to “pay attention.” We can also learn skills to reduce or increase our behavior. Let’s begin our review of the ADHD phenomenon.

ADHD is not one thing but several.

We professionals used to have two separate diagnoses for these issues, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD.) If you go back farther in the psychiatric literature these issues had other names.

The idea was that some people, mainly children, were not good at “paying attention.”  Mostly we thought that this was a lack of effort on their part and that they just needed to listen better. Most people with a predominantly inattentive issue did not cause anyone any problems and so did not get noticed until they were much older and came asking for help. Sometimes this inability to “pay attention” was written off as low intelligence or a learning disability. Sometimes those things were factors but often they were not.

We have studied attention a lot and it turns out there are a number of different skills that we call “paying attention” and that those skills develop with time and can be learned. More on the subject of what attention is and how it develops in upcoming posts.

Most ADHD diagnoses are about Behavior!

Most ADHD diagnoses come about because the child’s behavior is upsetting an adult. The child does not stay in their seat, talks too much, and generally disrupts the classroom. Some parents tell us that their children are “hurricanes” and are always in motion. So if the child does not stay in one place, moves a lot, and causes problems for adults, this gets them evaluated and probably diagnosed.

Hyperactivity is very situational. If a child runs all through the soccer practice and is fast at running around the track, they get A’s from the coach and may become track stars or pro soccer players. That same child who is never in their seat in the classroom will get in trouble and probably placed on meds.

To avoid this ADHD diagnosis the child needs to develop the ability to regulate his behavior. A whole lot of factors, like diet and opportunities for physical activity, can affect a child’s ability to sit still. When most people lived on farms and in rural communities there were more opportunities to “work off” that energy. Now, most people on planet earth live in cities and they stay inside a lot more.

Some of my clients have told me they are not allowed to go outside because of the gangs and the drive-bys. Their parents tell me they are scared to let the kids out of the house. One client has two bullets in him from drive-bys. Any questions why his kids never leave the house?

One theory is that ADHD, the hyperactivity part, is a failure of human evolution to keep up with our changing environment. This may also be true of the inattentive part as we will talk about in the future.

ADHD also coexists with depression and anxiety

Many children’s first diagnosis is ADHD. They are then placed on stimulant medication to treat this hyperactivity on the premise that the behavior problems are caused by an inability to “pay attention” meaning a failure to do what the adult says.

It does not stop there. Before long, because their behavior is causing adults problems, we change this diagnosis to “Disruptive Behavior Disorder.” Eventually, this may run the gamut of “bad child diagnoses” to Oppositional Defiant Disorder or even Conduct Disorder.

In the teen years or adulthood, we then discover that this person was depressed or had an anxiety disorder all this time.

One treatment for anxiety disorders in adults is to tell them to avoid caffeine or other stimulants. This is a conflict if they are taking stimulant meds for their “ADHD.”

I fully believe that there are children who warrant the diagnosis of Disruptive Behavior Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or even Conduct Disorder. They and the others in their lives need help. Just saying that we professionals and society need to be looking for depression and anxiety issues also.

So the next stop would need to be this area of attention. What is the ability to “pay attention” how much are we born with and how does it develop.

The day you were born you had some ability to “pay attention.” In the next attention post, let’s look at this day-one ability and how your attention abilities change and develop over time.

Please think about how you learned to pay attention or what the barriers to that were.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

What is a mental health relapse?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Relapse

Relapse.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Do people with depression, anxiety, or emotional problems relapse?

The term “Relapse” is increasingly being applied to mental illnesses and for good reasons.  Many people are familiar with the idea that people with a substance use disorder, alcoholics, and drug addicts can relapse. The idea that people with a mental illness can relapse is becoming a recognized part of the mental (or behavioral) health field.

Wellness and recovery.

We know more now than ever before about mental and emotional illness. Professionals no longer think of the mentally ill as somehow different from others. We now know that them is us. In their lifetime half of all Americans will experience the occurrence of an emotional or mental health problem that meets the criteria for a mental illness.

Looking at mental health issues as chronic conditions rather than once and forever problems has helped us to understand how someone with a mental health issue can “relapse.”

Mental health and illness lie on a continuum.

There are not two discrete groups, the well and the ill. People who appear to be emotionally and mentally well may gradually develop symptoms. Disorders can come on suddenly or slowly. People with mental health issues can and do recover. They get better.

Along this continuum, people can move from unwell (ill) to less unwell to well. Others can move from well to unwell. Across your lifespan, you will probably make many trips back and forth on the continuum. You get sad and depressed or anxious and then you get better.

People can have a mental illness and then get better.

For professional treatment, we have set the point at which people get diagnosed as mentally ill very far over on the continuum. Your condition needs to interfere with school or work, prevent you from having good relationships, upset you, or impair some important part of your life for it to be diagnosed as a mental illness.

Plenty of people get life problems that almost, but not quite reach the point of being mental illnesses. These people benefit from counseling also if they are able to get some. For milder issues (subclinical) self-help books, blogs like this one, religious and social activities, and so on can help them maintain their mental health.

Mental illnesses are often chronic conditions.

Mental and emotional issues are a lot like being overweight and developing type two diabetes. Once you have been diagnosed as a diabetic it is unlikely that this will come off your medical file. You may take medications, exercise, and watch your diet. All those things may get your blood sugar back under control.

With chronic conditions, and mental and emotional disorders fit this pattern well, even once you recover there will be things that you need to do to keep your condition under control.

Our understanding of the need to do things to maintain mental health recovery is informed by the stages of change model. See Stages of Change for a list of all the posts on this process.

In that model, we discovered that when someone recovers from a condition, excess weight, substance use, depression or just the normal problems of life, there are things that they will need to do to maintain those changes. We call that recovery the “Maintenance steps or Maintenance Stage of Change.”

People with mental illnesses do relapse.

By relapse, I mean a return to symptoms or an increase in symptoms that were previously under control. Sometimes that relapse is a result of new life events. Someone with PTSD or complex trauma may experience another trauma or something that reminds them of past trauma.

Someone with depression or anxiety may have an experience that is sad or makes them anxious. As these levels of emotion rise, the person may become overwhelmed. If their support system is not being supportive or their coping skills are overwhelmed then the person moves to being less well, less able to cope and they may experience another episode of whatever we chose to call their mental or emotional issue.

This continuum of wellness and the possibility of recovery is easier to see when we talk about relatively well know conditions. Anxiety, the most common of all mental illness, and depression, that cousin of sadness, are good examples of how the journey from wellness to illness and back may occur.

We have all experienced some anxiety and can see how it may get better or worse. Depression is understandable. Sometimes in life, we get sad, if we get too sad or stuck there too long that might turn into Major Depressive Disorder.

What about really serious mental illnesses, the ones where it is harder to understand the symptoms. Do people with Borderline Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia or Dissociative Identify Disorder ever recover?

There sure do. There are treatments for all those conditions. Most of these treatments are skills-based. Someone who hears voices all the time, they can learn to listen to the police officers voice and not the one in their head. This is not easy, it takes lots of skill development and practice, but many people with even the most serious of emotional issues do recover.

Do you get the picture that I and other mental health professions are coming to be strong believers in wellness and recovery? Recovery happens. If recovery happens, sometimes there may be a return of symptoms. When that happens we expect a return to doing the things that helped the first time to help them recover even faster than the first time.

If there are other skills they need to learn, well during a relapse is a really great time to try out new skills and find a way to create your happy life, however, you define it.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Use Thought Stopping to get rid of negative thoughts

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Thought Stopping.

Thought Stopping.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Are your own thoughts causing you problems?

Negative emotions, depression, anxiety, and anger are often preceded by negative thoughts. If your own thoughts are making your life worse it is time to get those thoughts turned off.

Thought stopping is a tool you can use to quiet the mind and get those runaway thoughts to stop controlling you. When you find your mind occupied with an unhelpful thought, train yourself to mentally yell STOP or any other command you find effective in getting that thought to stop talking.

Arguing with the unhelpful thought or “disputing” this thought creates room for more helpful thoughts. If you have the thought “I never do anything right” tell yourself “Stop that, I do to do things right some of the time.”

Using this STOP command, especially with an added “correction” helps you reduce unhealthy thoughts and increase positive thoughts in 3 ways.

1. You train yourself to have fewer negative thoughts

Practice telling those unhelpful thoughts to stop and over time you will get fewer of them. The mentally yelling stop becomes a form of punishing the negative thoughts. Punishing the negative thoughts rather than beating yourself up for having them rewards you by having fewer negative thoughts.

The more you practice thought stopping the more positive you become and the healthier your mind becomes. Breaking entrenched habits takes many repetitions and thought stopping is something you can easily do many times a day.

2. Thought stopping distracts you from an unhelpful thought.

Stay focused on the unhelpful thought and it gets reinforced. The more you think that negative thought the more it becomes an automatic thought and eventually it may reach the level of a core belief.

Tell someone they are stupid often enough and they believe you. Tell yourself that you are stupid and eventually your mind will make mistakes to try to make this self-talk true.

Use as many methods as you can find to take the focus off those negative thoughts and you will interrupt their control over your mind.

3. Disputing that thought can turn a negative thought into a positive affirmation.

If yelling at them or distracting yourself from them does not get those negative thoughts out of your head try adding a tag on the end. Include an argument with this negative thought in every conversation and the unhelpful thought will start talking less.

Have a recurring thought that “I can’t take this?” Next time you hear that tape play, add on the disclaimer at the end. “Yes I can take this, I have handled tough situations before.”

The alcoholic or drug addict gets frequent thoughts from their brain – “I need a drink, I need to get high.” Recovering people have learned to tell themselves every time those thoughts come scratching around – “No I don’t need a drink or a fix.” “I am in recovery and can handle this clean and sober.”

The results for thought stopping?

Thought stopping has been shown to be effective about 70% of the time for phobias. The more unreasonable the fear or phobia the better thought stopping works. It is reported to be very helpful in coping with cravings in addiction or managing other urges.

Thought stopping has been less effective when the problem is obsessive-compulsive behaviors. For compulsive rituals, the success rate for thought stopping is closer to 20%. Thought stopping is primarily meant for getting rid of negative or unhelpful thinking. For OCD behaviors something more complete like exposure and response prevention is recommended.

Exposure and response prevention is not recommended for addictions. Having an alcoholic sit in a bar and test themselves increases the risk of failing one more test and convincing themselves they will never get clean.

If you are unsure what will work best for your condition, try working with a professional or experienced peer person.

Do you have any default thoughts that are not helpful? Might thought stopping help you get those thoughts under control?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Do you have hidden anger?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Hidden anger.
Picture courtesy of pixabay.

Hidden anger can poison you and your relationships.

You may not feel comfortable expressing your anger. There may be others around you who try to pretend that they are not angry about things when deep down inside they are seething. Allow that anger to live inside you and no matter how much you try to hide it eventually it will seep out.

Hiding anger and keeping it inside is sometimes called “Stuffing your anger.” Stuffed anger will make you physically ill. Those people who try to pretend they are not angry, find their unacknowledged anger leaking out all over the place. One major way anger leaks out is through passive-aggressive behavior.

Hiding anger does not make it go away. Hidden anger will make you sick or poison your relationships. Expressing it in aggressive ways can destroy you and others. There are ways to avoid letting this anger build up and most of those ways are about seeing things differently before the anger takes hold and resolving conflict in positive ways.

You can’t defuse hidden anger if you do not recognize it. Here is a list of some ways anger stays camouflaged and how hidden anger will leak out. These problems may have started with hidden anger but unrecognized and not dealt with these symptoms can develop into depression, anxiety, or another mental illness.

1. Foot-dragging, lateness, and procrastination may be hidden anger.

Once someone develops a resentment towards you, they may begin expressing that anger in passive ways. They say they will do something or stop doing something but the thing they promised just keeps slipping their mind.

People can develop hidden anger and obstructive behavior even while believing they do mean to do the thing you ask. Passive-aggressive behavior can be an unconscious behavior.

If you find that you are habitually late for an appointment with someone, look carefully and see if you have anger over having to do something for them. Are you procrastinating about doing something? Is it possible that you have some anger over having to do this task?

Take a close look at the things that you never get around to doing and you may be able to diagnose a case of hidden anger.

2. Difficulty falling asleep or frequent awakenings may be the result of hidden anger.

Changes in sleep are often symptoms of an underlying emotional or mental issue. If you find yourself tossing and turning and thinking about someone or something examine this sleep issue and see if it is a hiding place for hidden anger.

3. Bad dreams and nightmares about the person who made you angry.

Bad dreams, nightmares, and their hurtful cousin, night terrors may have their source in anger that you can’t express. Hide that anger and the brain will continue to work on the feeling while you sleep.

Not every dream needs an interpretation, but recurrent disturbing dreams invite a closer look. Dreams that contain the effects of hidden anger are a good place for hidden anger to hide. You will find the hidden anger is readily recognizable when you begin to recall that bad dream.

4. Feeling tired, run down, and like you can’t take any more may be unresolved anger.

Anger that is not recognized continues to try to make itself heard. One theory about the causes of depression is that it may stem from anger that is turned inward rather than outwards towards the real cause of your discomfort.

When someone does something that could be a cause of anger and you are unwilling or unable to express those feeling the result can be a loss of drive. Nothing is fun, you can’t feel happy and all you want to do is lay around and try to rest.

All of those symptoms of hidden anger look like symptoms of depression and underneath a lot of depression, we find some anger.

Consider also that it does not need to be someone else that you are angry at. Anger at yourself is a prime candidate to become hidden anger.

You wish you had not done something, you resent the consequences, but how can you punish yourself for this error? Stuffing a mouth full of anger and making yourself sick in the process is one possibility.

5. Sarcasm, innuendos, and backhanded compliments maybe anger based.

Watch out for those backhanded compliments. When the things that get said to you are full of sarcasm and innuendo suspect that the humor is an attempt to hide some anger that the other person does not want to be direct about.

6. Icky sweet people may be disingenuous and hiding some anger.

You know the people I mean. They smile with even the back teeth showing. There can be something menacing in their smiles and greetings. Despite all their repetition of “dear” and “friend” you feel threatened not welcomed.

If this other person slips your name into sentences more often than a call center person from a third world country, suspect hidden anger.

Are you full of hidden anger? Are you the recipient of hidden or thinly disguised anger? Consider some work on getting the air cleared and the real problems dealt with. Or failing to be able to talk honestly about what is eating you or bugging them, consider if this relationship is really a healthy one.

Are there other varieties of hidden anger you have experienced? What other types can you add to the list?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Ways to overcome shyness.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Shy Person

Shyness.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Here are some suggestions to get past your shyness.

Shyness can keep you on the sidelines and out of life. Some people have been shy since early childhood and others are only shy in certain social situations. Whatever your personal issues with meeting or being around others these tips can help you get past that shyness and get into a fuller, richer life.

Some people have been shy since early childhood and others are only shy in certain social situations.

Whatever your personal issues with meeting or being around others these tips can help you get past that shyness and get into a fuller, richer life.

1. Positive self-talk – keep telling yourself you can.

Keep telling yourself that you can do this. Have a personal mantra or affirmation that helps you keep your fears at bay and maintains your focus on meeting others and making new friends. Repeat the self-affirmation silently to yourself. Concentration on your coping slogan takes your mind away from your fears.

Remember the children’s story about the train engine that kept saying it could. When you are repeating positive thoughts there is less room for self-doubt.

2. Slip into character.

Some performers, actors, musicians, and even public speakers, are shy people in their personal life. But when they get on stage they think of themselves as filling that role. When you think of yourself as a “rock star” there is no room for shyness.

Create a person for yourself. Become the leader of the group, the den mother, or some other role. When you realize that you are here to represent something it is easier to get into that role and be that outgoing extrovert. Pretend to be extroverted a few times and you will find yourself being transformed from shy to confident.

3. Take a friend along.

A friend is reassuring. You can introduce them and they introduce you. Having someone there as a cheerleader can give the confidence to tackle challenges you might otherwise find impossible.

Two people challenging their fears may be just the strength you have been needing to take that step towards being more outgoing.

4. Play to your strengths.

Engage in activities that make you feel comfortable. Do you like to garden? Join a garden society and you will have like-minded others to talk with. Like to read? Join a book club.

Make it a point to attend activities that you enjoy and feel good about engaging in.

5. Do your homework.

Going somewhere new? Try to learn something about the people you will be meeting and their interests. Attending a charity function? Look up the charity and see what they do and who the leaders of the group are.

Knowing a little about your host’s interest or the place you are going helps you feel more confident in conversation.

6. Ask lots of questions.

Feel embarrassed when talking about yourself? Ask the other people lots of questions about themselves. Most people are delighted to talk about themselves and if you give them the chance they will carry most of the conversation. Once the conversation ball starts to roll you can add value to the conversation as the chances present themselves.

7. Make technology your friend.

Stay connected in between face-to-face meetings by emailing or texting. With email, you get extra time to think about what you want to say and to proofread to get your message right.

Give yourself time to compose your reply. You are not required to engage in Ping-Pong emails.

8. Put your hand out and introduce yourself.

A simple Hi my name is — will go a long way towards breaking the ice. Be the first one to say hi and you will become the sought-after friend of others.

There are 8 short ideas to help you overcome your shyness in positive ways without having to resort to drugs, alcohol, or other negative behaviors. Which one of these suggestions will you try first?  Have you found other ways to overcome your shyness?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Conquer Your Fears and Anxieties

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Fear.

Fear.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

How do you get past those fear and anxiety feelings?

Fear likes you to think it is a roaring lion.

We all have our fears, but some people let fear stop them while others do things in spite of those fears. Here are some tips to help you manage your fears and anxieties. These are techniques you might use to go about shrinking those anxieties down to kitten size roars.

1. Take a close look at the fear – what are you really afraid of?

Many fears are vague fuzzy creatures. You feel if you do something or don’t do something else, then for sure, something bad will happen. Take another look. What are you really afraid of? If you can’t identify specific, high probability bad possibilities, the chances are that what you are really afraid of is change and the unknown.

What is the worst that could happen? What is the best that might happen? Is it worth the risk?

Take another look at that fear and you may find that it is nothing you really need to let stand in your way.

2. Make an inventory of your fears and anxieties.

If you find that you have lots of fears and anxieties you need to start by learning to identify them. Write them all down by name. What are you afraid of? Give them ratings. How much do you fear each item you have listed? Arrange them in order and start by challenging the least terrifying fear. As you work your way up the list you may find that you were fearing things that are not scary once you bring that fear out of its dark hiding place into the light.

3. Is anxiety telling you the truth?

Challenge each fear. Is it telling you the truth? Just because something seems scary does not mean it is really dangerous. Gather evidence about the real risks of this thing that scares you. Do your friends and other supporters have this same fear? How do they cope despite those fears?

Fear tries to manipulate you by telling you lies. Cross-examine that fear and present it the evidence you have gathered on why this thing is not the awful calamity it pretends to be.

4. Keep your eye on the goal of being fear-free.

When you have your mind set on getting something you will find that fear will get out of your way. Want to help or protect your child from danger, then you will have less difficulty with your anxiety.

How much do you want or need that job? Keep reminding yourself of your goal and the importance of getting where you need to go. Keeping your eye on the prize keeps you moving forward regardless of the fear.

5. Keep stretching your comfort zone.

Our anxieties are at their worst when you get too far outside your comfort zone. Think of the things that you have done in the past that you did not feel comfortable doing, but because of a friend’s encouragement or a real desire you did it anyway.

Having stepped a little outside your comfort zone and realizing things went well can stretch your confront zone.

Keep stretching out that comfort zone a little at a time and see how brave you will become.

6. Do not let fear steal your life.

Fear is a thief. Anxiety is a bully. They want to take your life away from you. Keep control of your life and let your fears and anxieties know that you are in charge. You can choose to do or not do something, but no fear or pint-size anxiety will keep you from having the life you want and deserve.

7. Use positive self-talk.

Keep telling yourself that you can. Remind yourself of what you want and why. Words matter. We humans think in words and what we think tends to come true. Tell yourself you can’t and you create the failure. Tell yourself that you will give it your best effort and see what happens.

Occasionally you will give it the best shot you have and something will still turn out badly. Do not take this as a confirmation of your fears. Believe that no one hits 100% but that if you keep on going despite those fears there is no limit to how far you will go.

What have you done recently to give your fears and anxieties the boot? Leave a comment and let the rest of us know what works to keep the anxiety beast at bay.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

19 Ways to manage your anxiety

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Anxiety provoking.

Anxiety.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Too much anxiety in your life?

You do not need to let the anxiety monster run your life.

Turn down the volume on that anxiety and take back control of your life.

Anxiety monsters come in all sizes but these tips may help you with the one you are living with. Here are some ways that can help you manage those anxious moments.

1. Make to-do lists.

Trying to remember all the things you need to do will keep your head full of little working memory to keep track of what still needs to be done. The result of all that anxiety in your head is that you will forget something, probably something really important.

Write it all down, prioritize, and start with the most important thing first. Cross things off the list as you get them done. This way you won’t forget to do something and if there is something left on the list at the end of the day it will be a less important thing.

2. Update your calendar.

Like daily list-making, try keeping a longer-term calendar to plan those important must do and must not forget projects. This can help reduce your anxiety over forgetting to do things.

3. Empty your mind – write it down.

Just remembered that you need some milk on the way home? Not sure if you sent the power bill in this month? A coworker mentioned a book and you are thinking you would like to stop on the way home and pick up a copy. Will you really remember all these things at the end of the day?

Writing down these things-to-remember frees more memory space and reduces your fear you will forget to do something important.

4. Be on time for things.

People who get to things on time and are well prepared have less anxiety. Show up late and your anxiety goes up. This is especially true if you are going somewhere for the first time.

Being on time is a skill most of us can learn. For more on being on time see the post about how those punctual people do things titled “How to be on time.”

5. Create routines and rituals.

Having a systematic way you are doing things can help take the stress and worry out of daily life. Clean out a place for something you do often. Have all the parts or ingredients necessary at your fingertips. Having a book bag for school books and a drawer in your desk for your writing things can reduce the last-minute frantic search.

You need rituals and routines, so does your family. See the post – Happy Families have routines and rituals for more on this topic.

6. Interview your anxiety and make it your friend.

Sit down and have a talk with your anxiety. What is it trying to protect you from? Why is it following you around? This may be the result of something that happened in your past that you are resolved to never let happen again. It might, however, be an effort to get total control over the world around you, something you should have left behind in middle school.

7. Sit and hold anxieties hand – learn to be comfortable with anxiety’s presence.

Sometimes anxiety, like fear, is justified. There may be risks involved. Anxiety can help you keep an eye out for unexpected events. Do not let the presence of your anxiety keep you from doing things you might enjoy or that might be beneficial for your life.

It is OK to feel anxious some of the time. Just feel what you are feeling. Say Hi to Mr. Anxiety and then move on.

8. See your doctor.

Some physical conditions can result in an increase in anxiety. Some medications turn up the volume on your anxiety. Worry about your health is a leading cause of needless anxiety.

Work with your doctor on managing your health and on being sure that your medications are not making your anxiety worse.

Finding out if that little pain, you know the one, is a real health challenge or just something common, can reduce your need to worry and feel anxious.

It there is something wrong with your health the sooner you face it the better.

9. Keep your body in good shape – exercise, eat, drink enough water.

A healthy body helps keep your mind running well. A poor diet makes it harder for you to cope with life.

Having energy and feeling healthy can reassure your anxiety that you are back in control and it does not need to protect you anymore. Low blood sugar from not eating right can increase your symptoms of anxiety. Dehydration can put you on edge.

Lack of exercise keeps your body in protection mode. It can’t cope if it never gets to do anything.

10. Prioritize dealing with those high risks issues.

High risk and high priority worries control you until you take control of them. The sooner you take action on these important issues the less time you have to spend worrying about the outcome. Rarely does putting off an important action make it come out better.

11. Discover what relaxes you.

Pay special attention to those times in your life when you feel genuinely relaxed. Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing when you are at peace? Recreate those moments whenever possible throughout your day. Pay attention to those gifts of calmness. What you notice hangs around longer.

12. Reexamine your habits – caffeine, drugs, alcohol.

Excessive use of stimulants is a real problem for anyone who has an anxiety disorder. Cut out the caffeine and other stimulants. Avoid street drugs. Using drugs and alcohol to cope with your anxiety only makes the situation worse. They work for a while, but when they wear off the anxiety returns worse than ever.

Smoking damages your health, short-term, and long-term. Do not tell yourself that you will quit when you get the anxiety under control. Quitting smoking and those other habits will help turn down the volume on the anxiety.

13. Get more sleep.

Being chronically sleep-deprived makes you irritable and overwhelmed. Being well-rested gives you the confidence to tackle more of life’s challenges. Most of us do not get enough sleep and the sleep we do get is low quality. Work on the things that promote good sleep hygiene.

14. Deal with those nightmares.

Nightmares play a role in maintaining mental health issues. In a previous post “Getting rid of Nightmares that maintain Depression and PTSD,” I wrote about the role of nightmares in depression and PTSD, Nightmares can both reflect and magnify anxiety. The treatment for nightmares is very similar regardless of what your issue is.

15. Systematic Desensitization.

This is a specific treatment that has been shown to be effective in reducing the effects of fears in creating and maintaining anxiety. A similar treatment “Exposure and response prevention therapy” has been effective in treating Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD.) Generally, these treatments are done with a professional but there are self-help books based on these principles available.

16. Strengthen your support system.

Having a strong support system makes you less at risk to be overwhelmed by anxiety or any other disorder for that matter. There are several posts on counselorssoapbox.com about developing a good support system. The post – 11 rules for Making Friends & Creating a Support System is a good place to start.

17. Pray and meditate to clear out the worries.

Religious and spiritual practices can be helpful in managing your worries regardless of your particular faith. I try not to take sides in the debates on this subject. I am neither a religious expert nor a theologian. What I do know is that consistently clients have told me that religious and spiritual practices are helpful in managing their issues, whatever they chose to call those issues.

People who believe in something have better mental health, as a rule than those who believe in nothing.

19. Get professional help.

See the post – Anxiety – fears and phobias can be treated There are a number of treatments for excess anxiety, some better than others but seeing a professional counselor or therapist can be very helpful in managing your anxiety. Medication can be helpful for short-term or temporary control of anxiety also.

There were some of my suggestions for managing and reducing your anxiety. Have you found others that have been helpful to you?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Binging on food – Binge Eating

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Food.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Out of control eating is officially a mental illness.

With the advent of the DSM-5, Binge Eating Disorder (307.51 F50.8), is officially a recognized mental illness. Reading through the description of this newly recognized disorder it occurs to me that this is not what most non-professionals have been thinking of when they talk about people who overeat. What follows is my oversimplified explanation of how I understand this and how it might affect clients I see. For the full official description, you would need to read the APA’s DSM-5 text.

Why does Binge Eating Disorder matter?

Given the APA’s estimates, the number of people in the U. S. who currently have or meet the criteria for Binge Eating Disorder would run from 2 ½ to 5 MILLION people. A look at the criteria also indicates this is a lot more serious condition than we might first think. A lot of the criteria remind me of the features we see in alcoholism. This is more than just liking to eat. Binge Eating Disorder goes all the way to losing control.

First, some things that do not appear to be included in the definition of Binge Eating Disorder and then the things that might define the disorder.

What Binge Eating Disorder is not:

Binge Eating disorder is not being overweight or obese.

We think that excess weight is a medical problem. There are a lot of reasons someone could be overweight or even obese that have nothing to do with binge eating. Mental Health and obesity have a lot of connections but Binge Eating Disorder is not the only one. (More on how mental illness may be making you overweight in an upcoming post.)

Binge Eating Disorder is not Holiday Eating.

That Thanksgiving dinner is a good reason to gorge yourself. It is almost Un-American to eat lightly on that holiday. Lots of families have other traditional family or holiday celebrations and the food is a major part of that celebration. We do not count social eating events as Binge Eating Disorder even if after the holidays you find you have packed on some pounds.

Snacking all day is not Binge Eating Disorder.

Some people have told me that eating small amounts of food at many small meals a day is healthier than a few huge ones. I am also told that eating lots of food is healthy if you can do it all day long. (I am skeptical of that argument.) There was a time when low weight people died every winter and a fat baby was considered a healthy baby. Modern healthcare has severed that connection, but I know new parents often worry if their child is not gaining weight as rapidly as they expected.

Eating because you are chronically hungry is about poverty, famine, or bad nutrition.

If someone is low in body weight and eats a lot that is probably not Binge Eating Disorder. If they are staying low body weight because they do other “compensating” behaviors that is a different kind of eating disorder most likely Bulimia Nervosa.

Eating frequently because you are growing, expending energy, or just plain hungry is not Binge Eating Disorder. Binging is sneakier than that.

What factors do make it Binge Eating Disorder?

 The Binge eater feels bad when they do it.

People with Binge-eating Disorder may eat alone so others do not see how much they eat. This behavior reminds me of the alcoholic sneaking drinks. The Binge Eater does not want others to see them binging. They may eat in solitary, hide the evidence, and feel guilty or ashamed of what they do.

Eventually, that shame and or guilt become a separate problem that needs treatment and may be the thing that keeps the binging behavior going even if they want to stop.

Binge eaters lose control of their eating.

This loss of control takes many forms. The binge eater eats fast, very fast. They eat more than they want. They can’t stop eating even when they are overfull. They may keep on eating to the point of feeling sick to their stomach.

One of the defining features of this disorder is the tendency to eat huge amounts of food in a short period of time. A binge eater will eat enough food for two or three people and do it in 2 hours of mealtime or less.

Binge Eaters do these behaviors a lot.

This is not something that the binge eater does occasionally. To get this new diagnosis a person would need to binge at least 13 times over a three-month period.

The Binge Eating Disorder diagnosis allows for a range of severity.

The minimum is 13 times in three months. Extreme Binge Eating Disorder is binging two times a day all 7 days a week. To meet the 3-month rule and have extreme Binge Eating Disorder would require over 180 episodes of binging with no compensating efforts to lose the calories.

Emotional Eating does not automatically count as a Binge.

Most counselors have heard clients describe times they “emotionally eat.” You have a fight with your partner and there go the whole two gallons of ice cream. Those uses of food to make yourself feel better are more likely a part of depression, anxiety, or that often overlooked but sometimes fatal Adjustment Disorder.

The Binge Eating conclusion?

If you are overweight or obese see your doctor and work on your physical health. If you occasionally use food as a drug to treat your emotional problems work on those problems. But if you find that you or someone you know is repeatedly binging on food, feels shame and guilt about this behavior, or has lost control of how much they eat, it is time for some professional help.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

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