New Counseling Website

New Counseling and Therapy Website

Update.

After trying this for a while, I discovered I didn’t have the time to write two blogs. I am still teaching and writing books, as well as producing a few videos for my YouTube channel. I do still see a few clients for counseling but these days this is all done by distance counseling methods. 

The new website for my counseling practice launched yesterday. Honest. This is no Joke. That I got this up and running is truly amazing, me, that old guy, who used to think that a “computer” was that guy in accounting, has my own therapist website. Mostly it is about information for my clients in private practice here in Fresno California. There is a page of “Frequently Asked Questions” about counseling and therapy that some of you may want to look at. Shortly there will also be a page of suggested resources. So check it out and let me know what you think.

I would never have gotten it done had it not been for the experience of using WordPress to do this blog. Don’t panic though. The counselorssoapbox.com blog will continue also. That’s it then.

Trauma Steals Your Sleep

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

sleep

Child sleeping.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Trauma alters your sleep.

Trauma, especially the kind that produces Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) alters the brain in a host of ways. One major result of trauma is a change in sleep patterns. Those changes in sleep result in a host of other mental and behavioral changes. Children who are abused or neglected or witness a traumatic event have problems sleeping. Rates of sleep disorders in abused children and adults with PTSD range from 50% to 90%. The majority of all people who experience trauma have a sleep disruption that causes other mental health problems.

While the trauma and the resulting change in sleep often go unreported, other changes in behavior get noticed. These issues frequently follow child victims of trauma into adulthood. Adult victims of trauma have the same types of outcomes and they or others may think they are just acting childish. There are reasons the brain changes and things that can be done about those changes.

Not everyone who witnesses a traumatic event develops PTSD- we know that. There is a whole area of study on the topic of resilience and why some people can bounce back and others become “traumatized.” Even people with very high resilience can develop PTSD if they experience enough trauma often enough. Children who are abused, molested, or neglected are at high risk, so are women who are abused and anyone witnessing the horrors of modern warfare often enough is likely to develop PTSD.

One result of exposure to trauma is an increase in attention to things that look like the cause of the trauma. We call this hypervigilance and many times it is a good thing.

Say you walk into the street and are hit by a car. In the future, you will be much more careful. If it happens to you as a child you may grow up to be afraid to cross streets. You may even become fearful when your children need to walk to school and feel the need to go with them to keep them safe.

A woman who is beaten and raped by some men wearing a particular color of clothing, something gang-related or a sports team’s logo, will be very careful when she sees that style of clothing again. This may keep her safe if she avoids dangerous situations. But sometimes the increased vigilance becomes a problem.

When someone becomes afraid to leave the house or to go where there are crowds because that feared person can’t be seen? What if they become afraid of all people? What if a dangerous person changes their clothing and they do not get recognized because that woman is looking out for only one clothing style? The vigilance is now turned up too high and focused on too little.

A child who is punished for a poor score on a test may try harder the next time. But if the punishment is excessive – if it turns to abuse – that child may do anything to avoid taking a test – for the rest of their life!

How does this excess vigilance, which started out to protect the person begin to rob them of sleep and undermine their mental health?

The human body and brain move through a series of sleep stages during the night. Some stages are deep and some are shallow. Most people reach a shallow stage and then fall back asleep. Not someone with PTSD.

Children with PTSD as a result of abuse have difficulty falling asleep. Their sleep is shallower all through the night because of the hypervigilance. They wake up many times during the night. When they wake up they become fearful. Is something dangerous about to happen? Was there a sound that woke them up?

Children with disrupted sleep as a result of past trauma are more likely to wet the bed. They are also more likely to get up and check the house to see if they are safe. They may sleepwalk. They may have sudden awakenings as a result of the smallest of noise and it may be hard to get to sleep again after the awakenings. They often have nightmares and sometimes night terrors when they awaken suddenly screaming in fear.

Now a lack of sleep at night makes the person with PTSD very tired the next day. They often get diagnosed with ADHD or Bipolar disorder. I question sometimes, with the clients I see, if a large amount of trauma they experienced in childhood did not cause the brain to grow and connections to form that resulted in the Bipolar condition. Since there is a genetic component to many mental illnesses, and children who have a genetic risk factor may also have parents who have a mental illness. This is not an argument for taking more children away from parents. What I am suggesting is that we need more early intervention. Kids who grow up with PTSD may have trouble being appropriate parents and the problem gets passed on before it is recognized.

During the REM sleep stage, memories are moved from short-term memory to long-term memory. Poor sleep can result in things that were learned one day being forgotten when the person gets up the next morning. Lack of sleep can also result in conditions that look like psychosis.  Staying awake too long by choice or from PTSD results in the brain making things up. Before long you can have problems telling if something is real or if you are dreaming it up. You may walk around all day more than half asleep.

People who are traumatized, with or without PTSD, and who have a sleep disruption, as a result, are much more likely to abuse alcohol or drugs. In many drug treatment programs, clients who report trauma in the past exceed 50%, sometimes the rate approaches 100%.

When the thoughts of the past keep you awake at night it appears to make sense to take something to help you sleep. Many people turn to alcohol which does not make things better, it makes them worse.

As a person drinks more the body develops a tolerance to the alcohol. It takes more and more alcohol to knock the drinker out. Being unconscious is not the same thing as sleeping. This is one reason a person who drinks and passes out is so tired the next morning.

So there you have it. Trauma especially in large doses, the PTSD kind, results in poor sleep. The poor sleep results in lots of symptoms that look like other problems. The treatment of choice here is to work with someone who specializes in treating the Trauma or PTSD and at the same time make getting lots of good sleep a priority.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Bipolar Disorder Genetics Research Study- Come one come all

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Person with masks

Bipolar.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Here is another Bipolar research study that I thought was worth passing along.

This was announced last month but I just came across the post.  While it may not help anyone with their current symptoms these kinds of studies help us understand more about

This was announced last month but I just came across the post.  While it may not help anyone with their current symptoms these kinds of studies help us understand more about Bipolar disorder and other conditions that just look like bipolar but aren’t. Here is the full press announcement from the March 1, 2012, update from the NIMH partner’s email. Let me know what you think of these blog entries on Bipolar research programs. Are they helpful? Have you heard about this before? Feel free to leave a comment on the counselorssoapbox.com blog.

“Nationwide Recruitment: Bipolar Disorder Adult Research Study

Bipolar Disorder Genetics: A Collaborative Study

Individuals diagnosed with bipolar disorder may be eligible to participate in a research study at the NIH Clinical Center. The purpose of this study is to identify genes that may contribute to the development of bipolar disorder (manic depression), and related conditions. Bipolar disorder is a common and potentially life-threatening mood disorder. The tendency to develop bipolar disorder can be inherited, but this is poorly understood and probably involves multiple genes. This study will use genetic markers to map and identify genes that contribute to bipolar disorder.

Families and individuals who have the disorder are asked to contribute personal information and a blood sample to an anonymous national database. This information will aid scientists around the world who are working together to develop better treatments for this serious mood disorder.

To find out more information, please call 1-866-644-4363 or email kazubad@mail.nih.gov.

National Institute of Mental Health, National Institutes of Health, Department of Health and Human Services

For more information on research conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health in Bethesda, MD click here http://patientinfo.nimh.nih.gov.”

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Overcoming anxiety by computer

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Computer

Internet.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Treating anxiety by Computer.

There is an interesting new study on an experimental treatment for anxiety using an interactive computer program. The study, done in Israel and partially funded and conducted by U. S. researchers looked at treating teenagers for anxiety using a new computerized treatment. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health diagnoses in America and approximately 25% of teens are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at some point in their teenage years.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is commonly used to treat anxiety disorders and has been shown to be especially successful at reducing anxiety symptoms. About 70% of the time CBT reduces or eliminates anxiety symptoms in children and teens. Unfortunately, CBT treatment is not available to all the teens that need it. Without therapy, the only alternatives are medications, which may have strong and permanent side effects or letting the child suffer untreated. Most adults who suffer from anxiety disorders first experienced the symptoms as children or teens but the symptoms when untreated or undertreated.

Why factors might explain why CBT helps only 70% of those who go for therapy? How can we explain that a computer program worked to treat anxiety disorders?

People with anxiety disorders unconsciously pay more attention to threatening things than non-anxious people. Paying attention to threats and having some anxiety is protective when you are in a dangerous situation. The problem for chronic anxiety sufferers is that they pay too much attention to threats in situations that are not that threatening. People with anxiety disorders have difficulty moving their focus from a potential threat to another non-threatening item.

Now this problem of focusing on the negative is not limited to anxiety provoking things. The same principle has turned out to be effective for treating chronic pain and depression. People with chronic pain are extra attuned to their pain. They tend to focus on the pain to the exclusion of everything else.

When people with chronic pain are taught to focus on other things, pleasant positive things and they learn techniques to shift their focus from the pain to something positive they report the pain is reduced or eliminated. When you are having fun you forget your pain if only for a moment. This ability to shift focus also may explain why laughter and jokes are also an effective treatment for reducing symptoms of many common mental health problems.

Reducing symptoms is not the same as a permanent cure. But not having anxiety or pain even for a while is a great thing. And the more the symptoms are reduced the more likely you will be able to live with your condition. Recovery from many conditions does not mean completely eliminating the problem. Recovery may mean for some people an improvement in their quality of life.

We have known that thinking has a huge impact on feelings for a very long time. People with a negative bias, they think everything about themselves, the world, and the future is bad, are more likely to be depressed.

So if you are anxious, depressed, or in a lot of pain and your current treatment is not helping, consider working on changing the things you focus on. Working with a good counselor or therapist can help you learn to shift focus. So can a good self-help book.  However, you learn the techniques you will need to practice shifting your focus from the negative problem-based view to the positive recovery and resiliency point of view. My thought is that the computer-based system helped people with excess anxiety because it included a lot of practice at changing their focus in a short period of time. Even without the computer program, the more you practice shifting your attention the better you can become about changing the way you look at things.

The full article on the computer based anxiety treatment experiment is available at the NIMH site.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/science-news/2012/computer-based-treatment-eases-anxiety-symptoms-in-children.shtml

Try this experiment, try shifting the things you pay attention to and see if your anxiety, pain, or depression shrinks. If you do this experiment leave a comment on this blog and let the rest of us know how it worked out.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

New Bipolar drug trial

Person with masks

Bipolar.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

In past blog posts, I mentioned that one difference between people with Bipolar disorder and people with unipolar depression was the way that people with Bipolar Disorder sometimes react suddenly and dramatically to medications, especially anti-depressants. I came across this article on a new trial of drugs being conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health. Thought this might be of interest to some of you. But please folks, don’t try this at home. New drugs should only be tried after consulting with your current provider and medication should always be supervised by a medical professional. If any of you are involved in this trial or hear more about it let us know what you find out.

NATIONWIDE RECRUITMENT–BIPOLAR DISORDER RESEARCH STUDY: ANTIDEPRESSANT RAPID EFFECTS OF KETAMINE

Individuals who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder may be able to participate in a trial designed to understand the causes of depression and rapid antidepressant response. Specifically, this study is testing whether ketamine, a drug that affects glutamate in the brain, will improve symptoms of depression within a matter of hours.

Individuals between 18 and 65 years of age who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and previously failed to respond to treatment may be eligible for an inpatient trial designed to bring about a rapid antidepressant effect. After completion of the study, the participant is transitioned back to a clinician in the community. In addition, all research participation is without cost and NIMH will cover all transportation costs from anywhere in the United States. Compensation is provided for study procedures. To find out more information, please call 1-877-MIND-NIH (1-877-646-3644) or email moodresearch@mail.nih.gov. For more information on research conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health in Bethesda, MD click here http://patientinfo.nimh.nih.gov.

The photo above is from Wikimedia and is not the drug they are talking about for the study. You will probably need to cut and paste the link above. Short post tonight but more is on the way. Until next time, have a happy life. David Miller, LMFT, NCC.

Two kinds of fear

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Fear.

Fear.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Underneath many of life’s problems is an ancient enemy – fear.

It is at the bottom of most negative emotions, the ones that infect our lives and undermine our happiness. Fear is at the bottom of anxiety, depression, and the problems of daily living that keep knocking us off the road to happiness. Whatever disguise fears are wearing, we each have our own special boogeyman, there seem to be two primary species of fear. This is not a new idea, I heard it a long time ago in a self-help meeting, but the more I have thought about it, the truer it seems to me.

We are usually either afraid of not getting something we want or afraid of losing something we have.

Most often we are afraid of not getting something we want. The fear that you will not get your needs or desires met is a powerful one. Unfortunately the more we have the more we need.

Think about stalkers here. They become obsessed with wanting someone, usually someone that is out of reach. I know there are stories about someone who pursued a romantic interest over a long time and much difficulty and in the end, the relationship happened. But once your intended romantic partner has gotten married, had children, and gotten a restraining order against you, it is time to give it up.

Some people try so hard for a particular job only to fall into a deep depression when it doesn’t come through. Wanting a career is wonderful. Pursuing your dream is great. But what will happen if that doesn’t pan out? You might be surprised at how many kids tell me they plan to go into major league sports. Most don’t make it. Some can’t make it and it ruins their whole life. What is really sad is when they become so fearful about failure that they self-sabotage and destroy their chances.

Ever hear the story of – well the name doesn’t matter – He was so sure his girlfriend was going to break up with him that he broke up with her first. Do you ever do that? Let your fear get control of you and destroy your chances before they began?

Therapists see some very sad cases of this fear. We see people who are not happy when alone, jump into a relationship because they are afraid that they will never be happy without a partner. Often they settle for a partner, any partner, and a relationship that is far short of what they wanted or deserved. Not surprisingly, to their counselor, they find that their partner is not happy either. Two unhappy people rarely make a happy relationship.

The second big cause of fear: We can be so in fear of losing something we have we forget to notice what we do have.

We old people have trouble keeping up. Two kids are sitting on a bench, each busily texting, neither one is speaking. I look over their shoulders. What could be so engrossing they don’t have time to talk? They are texting each other. I remember a time when my grandparents got a phone. Not everyone in the town had one. They felt lucky to be one of the first families to have one. I see a teen come into the psychiatric hospital, she cut her wrists, her parents had taken away her cell phone and she felt she had nothing to live for.

An old saying, only the rocks, and the hills are forever. Today with strip mining that may not be true. But we can get so into fear of losing something we miss out on the joy of having it. Remember in a hundred years not very many people, maybe no one will remember. For everything we have, we probably gave up something else that could have been.

Yes eventually that old car of yours, the one you saved to buy, it will break down. Keep it in the garage and never drive it and it will not get wrecked until your descendants take it out and drive it if it still runs then.

So have your fears controlled you? Do you fear you won’t get something you want and does that lead to anger, depression, or anxiety? Is that fear keeping you from trying?

Do you fear losing something so much that you can’t enjoy what you have? Is it time to challenge your fears? Don’t let fear keep you from having a happy life.

More on this is at 2 large reasons for your fear and Anxiety

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Wall Street is crazy!

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Mental Health or Mental Illness

Mental Health or Mental Illness?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Have you noticed that Wall Street has gone crazy?

Not the prices or the up and down of the market, more the way they are talking. I used to think all the “loony tunes” were in Washington. Have they moved to Wall Street?

Have you noticed they keep stealing our words – depression, schizophrenia even bipolar have turned into market terms.

I noticed it the other day. I was looking for articles on Major Depressive Disorder. Every article I came up with was about the economy. Suddenly depression is about a slow economy and not about a mental illness. Who do they think they are fooling?

With the exception of the “Great Depression” of 1929 past economic slowdowns were not called depressions. Even that one got the term because of the widespread sadness in the country as a result of the economic slowdown.

I even got a nasty comment on my blog, which I did not approve thank you very much, from a broker who was upset that we called sadness – depression. He did not like the idea that people could be sad. Investments – yes. People – no.

I read about the “occupy movement.” I can understand why they might want to occupy some places. Anyone for occupying Hawaii? But really guys – why occupy Wall Street? Would you occupy a VD clinic? Aren’t you afraid of catching something while on Wall Street? Something for which there is no treatment?

Let me remind those financial types that business slowdowns used to be called “Commercial Revulsions.” Look it up on Wikipedia if you doubt me. The idea was that purchasers became repulsed by the goods offered for sale. If you have looked at some of the cheap, tacky stuff in your local “Walleye World Store” or the “Cheaper Than a Buck Place” you would know what I mean. Some of that stuff makes me sick. In fact, I got so “commercially revulsed” that I wanted to vomit.

After “Commercial Revulsion” some smart ad man went to calling these downturns “Panics” they had a whole bunch of “Panics” up until our financial leaders decided that having a biannual “Panic” might not be good for consumer confidence.

We called them recessions off and on but that designation got to be so watered down we were having annual rescissions every time some retailer did not make a profit projection. So this time around they decided to borrow some mental health terms to explain why so many people are out of work and sad. In therapy we call these problems “Adjustment Disorders,” so far Wall Street hasn’t stolen that name. They are not used to adjusting to anything that is not their way but give them time.

We also used to have lots of bubbles. Remember the South Sea Bubble? (See Wikipedia again.) I remember sales on Arizona swampland and Florida homesites that were underwater. Wait a minute did that just happen again? Is this a rerun? This time underwater means they owe more than the stuff is worth. Last time it meant there was seawater on your home site. Another way to fleece a –

They have also taken to calling some CEO’s and CFO’s schizophrenic because they can’t seem to make up their minds. There is more to schizophrenia than indecisiveness. There are auditory hallucinations and there are things we call negative symptoms. Come to think of it some of those Wall Street types must have been hearing voices all through the housing boom. And now they have started making me real negative. Still not sure they should get the diagnosis of schizophrenia though.

And when did bipolar get to mean moody? I wrote a post about that but still, some stock guy wants us to think that today’s up and down market price is a sign of bipolar.

Next week I expect to read about a stock with “Dissociative Identity Disorder” or a CEO who has an “attachment disorder.”

Could you Wall Street types leave our vocabulary alone?

Could it get any worse? I just e-searched for more depression articles. Our depression word has been hijacked by a group of meteorologists. There was a whole page of articles on “Tropical Depressions.” What is so sad about going to the tropics it would make a meteorologist depressed?

Until next time, safeguard your illness from theft and have the happiest life you can.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

.

Should you be happy?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Happy faces

Happiness.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Are you comfortable feeling happy?

There are lots of articles on the net and lots of blog posts about depression and anxiety, but not much being written these days about being happy. We can’t blame those people who are focused on their depression or anxiety for this state of affairs.

If you ask people what makes them happy, many people can’t answer that question. Most people have never even thought about what might make them happy. In therapy sessions, I often ask people to describe some basic emotions, things like happy, sad, afraid, or mad. Most people in crisis can’t tell what makes them feel the way they do. They just know they are in pain and turmoil.

When I ask them what would make them happy, they often sit and look at me for a long time without an answer. The question stumps them. They have never considered just what it would take to make them happy. Usually, the pain is so acute that just ending the pain is all they can think about.

Loss of pleasure is one of the symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder, that I know. Yes, sure, in my practice I work with many people who are so depressed or anxious that they can’t even think about happiness just now. What surprises me the most is that most of them have never stopped to think about what it would take to make them happy.  Many times they are not even sure they should be happy. What would you say if I asked you that question?

Do you deserve to be happy?

There are those people who hold the religious view that the time on earth is a trial and they expect to suffer. They tell me they expect to suffer. Unfortunately, they frequently mean that they want everyone else to suffer. I see their kids in therapy after the kid has given up on life and wants to die. Please, if suffering makes you happy, try to do it in a joyous manner and let those around you have the happy life they deserve.

Now I know there are lots of challenges in this world. There are families that live in poverty.  There are single parents struggling to provide for their families on one low paying income. Families have sick children. Sometimes one or both parents are ill. Sometimes awful things happen to these people. Some people suffer horrifically.

The surprise here is that sometimes in two houses, side by side, both undergoing hardships, one family is happy and the other is miserable. Why?

How is it that some people can go through life’s trials and still values their existence while another person will suffer terribly?

One major difference between those who walk through a trial and continue to be happy and those who are overwhelmed is the mental attitude they have. I know that this is so easy to say and so very hard to do. Fortunately, there are people who are willing to help you change your view of the world if you are willing to change. I am not just talking about professional counselors and therapists here, though that is their job in my opinion. There are also self-help groups, books, and support systems of friends. The key is to be willing to give up our attachment to suffering and to embrace the idea that it is possible to have a happy life.

There are at least three things that can move you towards a happy life.

1. Give up the notion that you need to suffer and embrace the idea that it is possible for you to be happy and that you deserve this happiness not because of what you do or have but simply because you are the one unique you. Embrace the quest for a happy life. A happy life is not all about pleasure. Drugs and things are not likely to make you happy.

2. Change your thinking. Most of us have a whole pack of must’s, should’s, and have-to’s that we hold onto. Being able to let go of things and move on is critical.

3. Nurture your resilience, that ability to bounce back. This is a real life. It has its ups and downs. I can guarantee that things will happen to you that you will not like. But then if you keep on track those good things will happen also. So if you keep looking at the failures you will grow them. Learn from life’s trials but grow from them also.

You and I both know that if you are down right now all this is hard to do. When you lose your job, end a relationship, become homeless, or are struggling with sickness it is easy to get down and depressed. It is easy to get into fear and worry. Look for help. Find someone that you can talk to that will understand and support you.

In future blog posts, I want to talk to you about all these issues and many more. As our country struggles with a great economic illness we seem to have neglected the mental and emotional health of our people. Do all you can to fight mental and emotional illness by carving out all the happy life you can. And share that happiness. Happiness shared is not diminished it is multiplied.

See also:

Finding happiness

How to be happy

Buying happiness

13 ways to make yourself miserable

Till next time. Wishing you the happy life you deserve.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

More depression these days?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Depressed person

Depression.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Is there more depression now than they used to be?

More anxiety? More ADHD or PTSD? In fact, could we say there are more diseases like cancer now than in the past? Is the increase in disorders the result of chemicals or toxins or something else?

Let me be radical and suggest something here. Now remember I am coming at this from a therapist’s, this therapist’s to be more precise, viewpoint. I am not a medical researcher and I do not have data to back up this viewpoint, though I can cite some authorities in those fields who seem to explain this issue.

There are probably less of most diseases than ever before! Does that surprise you?  What has changed is the salience of diseases. Salience is a new word, relatively. It first started being used in 1836. FYI the word allergy did not make the dictionaries till much later. Before 1900 presumably, no one had allergies because there was no word in the dictionary for this. Lots of people had hay fever though. So does changing the word for something change the number of people diagnosed with a condition, yes. Does changing a name alter the amount of human suffering, I think not. What about mental illnesses and depression in particular?

The ancient Greek writers talked about bile and humors. One-color made you sad and depressed another made you overactive and impulsive. The descriptions remind me of depression and mania. I suspect there was a lot of depression during the great ice age but they didn’t blog about it.

Sapolsky tells us that one reason for the increase of certain disorders is that we are living longer.  When the average lifespan of Americans was 40, most people did not live long enough for us to worry about cancer or Alzheimer’s. Many of our current physical health issues are the result of people living long enough to be diagnosed with diseases of old age. For the record, they may not have had Alzheimer’s way back when but my great-grandmother died of senile dementia. Not sure what the difference is but I want to live long enough to find out.

When half the people in town die one summer from the black plague no one worries about the person who killed themselves as a result of depression.

Depression is a new name. In older books, they wrote about Melancholy (literally black bile.) But that disorder was usually reserved for the upper or aristocratic class. Poor people were too busy dying of dysentery and milk sickness to live long enough to be depressed.

If you read journals of the early American settlers you would find plenty of stories about suffering, just back then we all accepted suffering as inevitable, just part of God’s will. People began to distrust that bad things might be part of some higher powers plan and started thinking that we just might be able to reduce human suffering without challenging the power of the Almighty. Then we started looking for cures to conditions that might have been considered normal in the past.

Until this last century, we thought mental illness was incurable. There were only two choices, pray over them and hope or chain them to the wall. Then we discovered that there were medications that could turn previously “crazy” people into functioning members of society.  This discovery took mental illness out of the demon possession category and moved it over into the treatable illness category.

There are still some people, politicians mostly, that think that people with mental illnesses are faking it to get out of work and just need to snap out of their disorder.  Other times they will tell you that these people are really just criminals and need to be locked up. There are lazy people and there are criminals for sure, but that is a different group than the mentally ill, though sometimes a person can have two or three conditions.

For sure there are toxins and environmental hazards. Some of these things have increased the rates of specific illnesses. But I can’t blame them for depression or anxiety.

The last century was a turning point in the fight to control diseases. We began to use antibiotics, vaccines and now we have advanced diagnoses and treatment. The next century holds promise for the integration of mental and emotional disorders into the mainstream of care. Let’s hope that the increased awareness and detection of mental health and substance abuse disorders increases society’s willingness to tackle these sources of human suffering.

So for the record, I don’t think there is significantly more depression or more of most other diseases. The numbers of people diagnosed with a particular illness do go up and down. But as we are able to see them, the diseases become more important. But isn’t ending suffering, both physical and mental a part of having a happy life?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Best of Blog Recap – January 2012

Counselorssoapbox.com

Thanks to all of you that read this blog. Some of you have been with me from the beginning and some just joined. I appreciate each and every one of you. This month has marked a change in the blog. My original plan was to increase the number of posts from one or so per week to at least three. Along the way, the comments came in both on the blog and off, so did a lot more likes. It is always nice to be liked and to know that what you are trying to do is of interest to someone. As a result, this month I wrote some articles that turned into series and the final result was a lot more than the three a week I had planned on. We will see if time permits me to keep up the writing at this level.

The theme of this blog continues to be – having a happy life. That topic includes issues related to mental health, substance abuse, parenting, recovery, and resiliency.

Here are the top read blogs of the last month.

1. How does therapy help people?

2. Stages of Change – Early action

3. Is relapse a part of recovery?

About the author and Bipolar – misdiagnosed or missing diagnosis? Where close to the top also. Thanks for all your interest.

From the last year the top posts were:

1. How does therapy help people?

2. Treatment for teen’s risky behavior

3. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD and bouncing back from adversity

4. 7 “new drugs” parents should be aware of.

Over time lots of you have viewed the home page and “about the author” page also.

Thanks to all my readers for being part of this effort.

Next month we will explore some other topics and see what we come up with.

Till next time, David Jole Miller, LMFT, LPCC.