How full is your life bus?

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Life is a lot like a bus ride

How full is your life bus?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

How full is your life bus?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

Life is a lot like a bus ride.

A metaphor I frequently use for my own life is how it has resembled a bus ride. Throughout life, as we ride along, people get on the bus, and they get off the bus. The longer you ride life’s bus, the emptier it gets.

Did you start life with a full busload of people?

If your life has been anything like mine and the lives of most other people I know, you started with some people riding the bus with you. Initially, you probably had a mother, a father, and maybe some grandparents. Unless you were the first or only child, you had older siblings, brothers, and/or sisters.

Did you start your life journey on an empty bus?

Some people begin life on a close-to-empty bus. You might’ve grown up in a home with a single mother or father or been raised by a grandparent or even a nonrelative. When you were first born, there may have been other people in the home taking the ride of life with you. But some of those people may have gotten off your bus even before you were old enough to remember them.

When you went to school, more people came into your life.

When you begin school, other people come into your life. I remember going to kindergarten and first grade. I made some new friends. Then we moved, and those early friends left my life. The more you move, the more people come and go, and the fewer people ride through life with you.

Sometimes, people get off the bus, and you never see them again.

Typically, the first people to get off the bus are grandparents or great-grandparents if you are fortunate enough to have had the chance to meet them. Gradually, other older relatives exit your life. Sometimes, one or even both of your parents leave your life. When people leave because of death, you don’t see them again, at least not in this life.

Sometimes, people come back into your life.

Sometimes, a person who has ridden partway on the journey of life comes back into your life. I moved several times and, more than once, ended up meeting people at another school that I had gone to school with earlier. Sometimes, you are disconnected or alienated from a parent or grandparent and reconnect later in your life. Some people even reconnect with an old boyfriend or girlfriend from back in the day. It can be a very happy occasion when you reconnect with someone. But sometimes, you only reconnect for a short ride.

The people around you may keep changing.

One constant in life seems to be the way people come into your life and exit it. Some people you share the ride of life with are a joy to be around. Some people are a real pain. Well, you know what I mean.

Changing the route you travel in life means you ride with other people.

Family members may move away. You may get into relationships, and you may get out of them. Close friends may die or move away. Moving because of work changes your social circle. If you stop riding the same route, work a different job, or attend a different school, you probably lost contact with old friends forever.

As you get towards the end of the line, the bus gets empty.

One of the great challenges of accumulating more miles on your journey, adding more years to life’s tally, is that the life bus gets emptier. It takes a lot of effort to stay connected to other people. Unless you periodically invite more people to share your life’s journey, you may find yourself driving the bus all alone.

One way to avoid the loneliness that comes from traveling through life all alone is to make an extra effort at every stop to invite other people into your life. Sometimes, it pays to greet them at the bus stop and invite them to join you in your travels.

Making new friends and keeping your life full of companions requires a particular set of skills we call “making friends.” Whether you’re good at making friends or it’s a challenge, you must continue adding people to your life. Having friends and a support system is the best cure for loneliness. Loneliness is, after all, the result of having many people leave your life but not being able to invite more people to join you on the next leg of your life journey.

More on the topic of making and keeping friends can be found at: Friends

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Recently, I began working with a telehealth company called Grow Therapy. If you’d like to make an appointment to work with me, contact them, and they can do the required paperwork and show you my available appointments. The link for making an appointment to talk with me is: David Joel Miller, LMFT, LPCC 

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Perceptive

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Perceptive
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Perceptive

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“Every act of perception, is to some degree an act of creation, and every act of memory is to some degree an act of imagination.”

― Oliver Sacks, Musicophilia: La musique, le cerveau et nous

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”

― Lao Tzu

“The outer world is a reflection of the inner world. Other people’s perception of you is a reflection of them; your response to them is an awareness of you.”

― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Passive

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Passive
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Passive

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum….”

― Noam Chomsky, The Common Good

“Leave behind the passive dreaming of a rose-tinted future. The energy of happiness exists in living today with roots sunk firmly in reality’s soil.”

― Daisaku Ikeda

“Let no one think of me that I am humble or weak or passive; let them understand I am of a different kind: dangerous to my enemies, loyal to my friends. To such a life glory belongs.”

― Euripides, Medea and Other Plays

“He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.”

― Martin Luther King Jr.

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Emotions and Feelings.

Inspiration

 

Admiration

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Admiration
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Admiration

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“Poirot,” I said. “I have been thinking.”

“An admirable exercise my friend. Continue it.”

― Agatha Christie, Peril at End House

“Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably.”

― C.S. Lewis

“The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.”

― Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

I feel like a fifth grader again

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Technology
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

I feel like a fifth grader again.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

Rapidly changing technology makes me feel like an overwhelmed fifth grader.

Last week, I sat at my keyboard and experienced an overwhelming desire to break down and cry. I haven’t felt this overwhelmed and helpless since my elementary school days. Being a senior citizen, I have a lot of life experiences, and being a professional counselor, I have a lot of tools at my disposal. Still, sometimes the frustration gets so bad the only conceivable response is to act as immaturely as possible. Let me tell you about my growing frustration with the tech gods.

Recently, I’ve been struggling more than usual to keep up with rapidly evolving technology. Ever since the start of the Covid epidemic, when we moved to remote technology, I have been struggling to catch up. The upward curve of technological change turned into a vertical wall and is now an overhanging cliff.

I thought I was doing reasonably well. I moved the lecture materials between blackboard, canvas, and canvas companion with the adept skill of a fire juggler. I’ve learned to turn my lecture material into PowerPoints and my PowerPoints into videos. I have even established a YouTube channel so those videos are available continuously around the clock.

Despite some struggles, I’ve managed to keep my primary mental health blog going and occasionally add some posts to my writer’s blog. And through all this, I have written and published seven books. I thought I was doing reasonably well. Then, the avalanche of tech changes collapsed on top of me.

Let me tell you a parable about an overwhelmed ten-year-old.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far, away from sunny California, in a rural area where people ignored troublesome laws, there lived a sheltered, naïve ten-year-old boy. His family’s largest claim to fame was the mass quantities of ethyl alcohol, which they frequently consumed. One particular older male habitually consumed alcohol to the state of extreme incapacitation.

On this particular night, it was imperative that the man who could no longer walk on two legs and was having difficulty crawling on all fours somehow reached home before he froze to death in the snow. Hence, the patriarch of this story decided to have his ten-year-old son drive him back across the open fields to the farmhouse. What follows is my vague remembrance of the conversation between the father and son.

“Son, you gots to drive me home,” The old man said.

“But Dad, I don’t know how to drive,” the boy said.

“It for to is easy, I teaches you how. Here, tase these keys.”

“Now what?”

“Get in car and drive.”

“I can’t get in. The door is locked,” the boy said.

“Unlock the door.”

“How do I do that?”

“Stick the keys in the lock.”

“I put the key in the lock, but the door still won’t open.”

“Did you turn the key?”

“I have to turn the key?”

“Yes, yous got to turn the key.”

“I turned the key around, but the other end won’t fit.”

“Here, Leslie, me dooes it.”

At this point, the conversation is terminated when the patriarch falls face down in the snow, and their connection is terminated. If we were to wait several hours for the older gentleman to regain consciousness, we could listen in on the continuing conversation as the young man struggles to figure out how to put the key into the ignition, put the car into gear, and then drive across the open field without ending up in the ditch. I hope you can see how totally frustrating this might be to the young boy.

Fast forward sixty-five years later.

Four emails arrived in one day, all indicating that the protocols for logging into email accounts have been changed. Each of the four companies the boy, now an elderly adult, works for has decided to change their login, password, and security system. Each has changed in a different direction using different outside vendors.

“Tech support. How can I help you?” The tech bot says.

“I’m having trouble logging into my account.” The man says.

“Did you download the login app? You need to download the login app.” Click.

What download app? The old man asks. Only to be greeted by silence and, finally, the hum of the dial tone.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. If I am hearing a dial tone this is not a cell phone. Click. Again.

Minutes later the man connects with tech support.

“Did you download the login app?” Tech support says.

“What’s an app?” The old man replies. Click.

Clearly, this conversation is going nowhere.

A five-year-old gets to cry.

What does a seventy-five-year-old man get to do?

The old man calls tech service again after struggling for several hours to download the Bloody app.

“I can’t get into my login app. What do I do?”

“What kind of authenticator are you using?”

“What’s an authenticator?” The old man asks. Click.

Imagine that this scenario repeats itself four times with four different vendors.

I don’t have to imagine this. That sort of scenario seems to be happening to me on a regular basis.

I think I could catch up if they would just stop changing things.

How about you? Are you having trouble keeping up with technology?

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Overjoyed

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Overjoyed
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Overjoyed

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“Always serve too much hot fudge sauce on hot fudge sundaes.

It makes people overjoyed, and puts them in your debt.”

― Judith Olney

“Remember, no human condition is ever permanent. Then you will not be overjoyed in good fortune, nor too sorrowful in misfortune.”

― Socrates

“You said you wanted an in-your-face, overjoyed kind of love that knocks you backwards.” He takes a beat. “But our love is that and better. Our love is headstrong. It never yields, never dies. And when it knocks you backwards, it pulls you upright again.”

― Krista Ritchie, Alphas Like Us

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

 

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Life is a road trip.

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Life is a road trip

Life is a road trip.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Life is a road trip.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

Have you ever taken a road trip without a map?

I think life is a lot like a road trip. My life has been a road trip without a map. I don’t know about you, but when I came home from the hospital after being born, I didn’t get that instruction booklet that told me where to go and what to do.

For most of my life, I’ve been driving along, heading for one destination or another. Sometimes, I encountered a closed road and had to change my direction. Without that grand plan for life, you can encounter lots of dead ends. Sometimes, you come to a fork in the road and have to decide whether you go to the left or the right. The longer I’ve been traveling the road of life, the more I wonder what would’ve happened if I had made different turns and selected different routes along the way.

Early in life, you follow the flow of traffic.

In the beginning, your life direction is largely set by your parents or by the other people in the home where you live. If you come from a dysfunctional family where driving backward is the norm, you pick that up as a habit, and the longer you do it, the harder it gets to change.

When you begin attending school, you start learning and accepting directions from people outside your family. In the early grades, it’s likely to be “do what the teacher says.” A little later, people start to follow the Maxim, “We should do what the principal says.” This becomes an appeal to a higher authority. Some people stick to that habit for the rest of their lives.

Sometimes, the directions are contradictory.

Trying to navigate life’s challenges can get very confusing when the directions you get contradict each other. For some people, this results from having one parent tell you one thing and the other parent tell you something entirely different. The more you move around, spending time with grandparents or stepparents, the harder it becomes to decide which directions to follow. Some people just give up following the rules and follow the motto “do whatever you want.”

Sometimes, the road is bumpy.

Everyone has parts of their life that feel like navigating a road full of potholes. Depending on your driving skill and the options you have, some bumps are barely noticeable, and others can throw you completely off course. Not everyone who goes down a particular stretch of road hits the same potholes.

I’ve learned that some people have an early life event but quickly recover, while other people are injured so severely by that event that they struggle for the rest of their lives.

Other times, you run out of gas.

Thinking about this metaphor, taking the road trip of life, I’ve learned that there are people and times when you can keep going on and on no matter what’s happening. But other times, driving over rough roads wears you out. Sometimes, you just run out of gas and give up on the trip altogether.

One form of running out of gas is professional burnout, a condition where going to work each day is so tiring that you can’t rest up. When you’re worn out from taking the course you have been following, you may decide you don’t want to travel with the people that are currently in your life. Sometimes, you get so discouraged that you doubt your ability to chart a course in life.

For times like these, the only alternative is to give up your travel plans and chart a new life. Over the last few years, I’ve seen a lot of people who burned out at their current jobs, went back to school, and started off on a new career, which took them in a totally different direction.

Occasionally, you discover something magnificent.

Sometimes, the struggle of driving that winding road requires traveling a little more slowly, but if you take the time to look around, you may be surrounded by magnificent scenery. Some of the best things that happen in life can result from a serendipitous experience.

What if you make a wrong turn?

I’ve heard from researchers who have studied end-of-life regrets that the greatest regrets don’t come from the roads you took. At the end of life, the largest regrets usually come from the times you played it safe and stayed on the straight interstate freeway. It’s those side roads that you always wanted to take but passed up in your hurry to get to the end of your journey that you are likely to regret.

So, how is your life road trip going?

Are you happy with the direction your life is going? Are there side trips you wanted to take but never let yourself go there? When you get to the end of your journey, what wonderful stories will you have to tell? If the life you’re living is not taking you where you want to go, how might you change your direction?

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Being socially anxious may be a good thing.

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Anxious woman

Social Anxiety
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.

Being socially anxious may be a good thing.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

Recently, many of the people I’ve been talking to report that they are suffering from social anxiety. They become so anxious that they are afraid to leave their house or be around others. Some of this may be a residual effect from what we were calling the Covid pandemic. But I think it goes deeper and has been around a lot longer than just our experience with the Covid virus.

Western culture emphasizes rugged individualism.

During my lifetime, there has been a lot of discussion about the value of being an individual, charting your own course, and being your own man or woman. There are certainly some advantages to individuality. I don’t think living in a world where all the songs sounded the same would be very enjoyable. Sometimes, it’s worthwhile to follow your own path and do your own thing, but I think there’s also something to be said in praise of the value of a certain level of conformity.

Social anxiety may well have started out as an evolutionary advantage.

Think about living in a preindustrial society with no modern weapons or houses. One person going out into the forest or jungle alone, even if they had a sharp stick, was at risk of being killed and eaten by a mountain lion or a tiger or bear. But a group of 10 men, all with spears, can fight off that predator. When you go hunting in a group, it’s better if they all like you. If you’re the one being attacked by the mountain lion, you don’t want the other saying, “I’m not going to risk my life for him!”

All societies have rules.

I hear many people saying that they shouldn’t have to follow certain rules, but I think they’re not conscious of how often they actually follow them and how offended they would be if others didn’t. Parents who are separated will tell me that the problem with their children is that when they visit their other parent, there are no rules. I find that hard to believe. The rules may be different in different places, but I think most people, children included, can learn that there are different rules in different settings.

Most people are pretty good about going in the bathroom to do their business. You don’t see people defecating and urinating next to their table at the restaurant. I think we all would agree that in most places, people don’t walk into stores without wearing clothing. The point here is that we all seem to, at some level, think certain rules should be understood without having to be posted and reiterated.

I get that many of these rules were learned early in childhood, but that’s what parents, the extended family, and your village or society are all for.

The need for social conformity is less than it was.

When you live in very small groups with other people, you have to follow the rules or risk their wrath. In this modern society, more and more people live alone, as childless couples, or with relatively few people in their homes. Aside from a few legal exceptions, what you do in the privacy of your own home is your business. But as soon as you leave that house, it’s a good idea not to offend too many people. Particularly the people who are called law enforcement.

So, how do you keep social anxiety in its proper place?

People need to develop social intelligence. Performers and politicians might refer to this as “reading the room.” Remember, there are certain fundamental rules; people won’t like you if you don’t follow them. An essential part of this skill is a characteristic we call emotional intelligence. If you spend some time learning and appreciating the variety of emotions people might be having, you’re more likely to interact with them in a positive way and less likely to provoke a conflict.

What’s the problem with social anxiety?

People with social anxiety go too far down the road of trying to please everyone rather than realizing what they need to do or the need to follow social conventions. You’re off base if you constantly worry about what others think of you and how they judge you. But you should ask yourself if you are doing the right or acceptable thing. Beyond that, whether other people like you or don’t like you, whether they think you’re wearing the correct brand of clothing or not, is probably none of your business.

Being different isn’t always safe.

Sometimes, being different sets you apart. Entertainers, celebrities, and influencers all want to be different and unique. But being too different can make other people anxious, and people who are high in anxiety or provoked can do some pretty dangerous things. While our society encourages people to be individuals, each one of those individuals should recognize that not everyone will like your brand of individuality. Social anxiety warns us that sometimes going against the crowd has its price.

How about you? Do you think of yourself as an individual? Are you highly in social anxiety and constantly worrying about what other people think about you? How do you balance your needs with the need to not provoke others? Let me know what you think about social anxiety’s disadvantages and benefits.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out https://counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Obsessed

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Obsessed
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Obsessed

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”

― Franz Kafka

“When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“We can’t win against obsession. They care, we don’t. They win.”

― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“You become what you think about all day long.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Do I have a personal mission statement?

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My personal mission statement.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Do I have a personal mission statement?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

My personal mission statement.

I recently wrote a post for this blog about creating a personal mission statement. (Creating the life you want.) I offered several suggestions on how to go about defining the mission of your life, the essential thing or things that gives your life meaning and purpose, and how to write a personal mission statement. This raises the question of whether I have done this process and what my personal mission statement is.

Maybe explaining my own personal mission statement will help you in crafting yours.

Let me tell you about my personal mission statement and how I came about writing it. I wrote a personal mission statement several years ago after having taken a class on creativity and how to apply that creativity to writing. I followed the instructor’s suggestions for creating a personal mission statement. I have no doubt that the instructor was primarily thinking about a mission statement for my writing activities. However, I had taken the viacharacter.org character strengths and virtues test shortly before, which influenced my thinking.

A mission statement should be the “why” of what you are doing.

I especially like Simon Sinek’s book Start with Why. While the book is mainly about businesses and what makes them successful, the principal has a broader application. People who know why they are doing something are much more likely to be successful and happy with their lives. Planning a course of action based on what you will be doing, rather than why you’re doing it, may take you in the totally wrong direction.

For example, many people start with, “I’m going to make my life happier by making a lot of money.” Then, they set out on whatever path they think will make the most money. I see many of those people end up in jobs or careers that make them miserable, but they continue to try to convince themselves they must do it that way because, in their minds, they will be happier if they make more money. The connection between money and happiness is much more complicated than just more money equals more happiness. I’ll write more this year about happiness, what this strange creature looks like, and how to achieve it.

I seem to be chronically busy. But why?

In working on a mission statement, I had to think less about what I wanted to do and more about why I was doing it. Some parts of my life didn’t fit together coherently. I’m one of those people who has spiraled through various careers. My most recent career, and one I’m still working at, is being a counselor, therapist, and coach. Clearly, one of my joys in life is trying to be of service and help others. But that didn’t fit clearly with the other parts of my life.

I also spend a lot of time reading, and I read very widely. Some of its technical counseling-related publications, and I read a large amount of research. But I also read a lot of novels. It’s hard to spend a lot of time talking to people, which is what a counselor does, and still get a lot of reading done.

The other thing that brings me a lot of joy is writing. I find it hard to spend time writing, and I often procrastinate. But once I get started putting the words on the page, it brings me a great deal of joy. So, taking all of these various aspects, the things that I was struggling to find time to fit into my schedule, and making them into a single coherent “how do they fit into my life’s mission” was a challenge.

I started by incorporating my core strengths into my mission statement.

My top core strengths, listed in order, are as follows: 1. Love of learning 2. Creativity 3. Curiosity 4. Humor 5. forgiveness, and 6. Zest. There are, of course, 24 character strengths overall, but I thought if I could incorporate at least those top 6 into my mission statement, it might provide a blueprint for organizing the rest of my life.

My mission statement needed to include what I would do and why.

Love of learning and curiosity go well together. My whole life, I’ve been incredibly curious, which has led to me learning a little bit, often more than just a little, about a wide variety of subjects. Clearly, this fits well with all the books I read and the fact that I’ve been going to school, either as a student or a teacher, for over 70 years now. But that didn’t exactly address the why.

Creativity certainly fits with writing a blog, writing books, and creating YouTube videos, all of which are certainly activities I enjoy. Still, there needed to be a deeper meaning and purpose for all this frantic activity.

The frantic minutes of my life certainly are addressed by core strength number 6. I’ve always had a lot of zest for living. Most of my life, I couldn’t wait to get out of bed in the morning and get to doing all the things I wanted to do that day. I’ve learned that my to-do list needs to be things I “want to do,” not things I “have to do.” I’m much happier when I can do as many of the “want to do’s” as possible each day.

How did I incorporate forgiveness into my mission statement?

It dawned on me that I started my counseling career working with people with substance use disorders, criminal justice populations, and people with serious mental illnesses. One of my firm beliefs as a therapist is that people can change. So, no matter what they’ve done in the past, I tried to see the potential that if they learn more, they can change their thinking, feeling, and behaving and create a positive well-functioning life.

What was the end result of my personal mission statement?

My mission in life is to learn, create, and share with joy, enthusiasm, and love.

That statement pretty well sums up the direction my life is headed these days. I hope you enjoy reading some of the things I’m writing or watching some of the videos I’m making and that, in the process, you might create that positive, flourishing, happy, and contented life you deserve.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

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