How Stress destroys your health.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Stress person

Stress.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Your body stores up stress and then makes you sick.

Most of us know the effects that stress can have on our mental health but few people notice that the way they feel emotionally is affecting their physical health. We use that same word “feel” for both sensations in the body and emotions we attribute to the mind. This leads to lots of confusion. Your mind, by which most people mean their thinking, is not all that separate from your body.

What you think about can take its toll on your physical health.

Physical symptoms are often the first indicators of a serious mental illness. It is smart to get your health checked out by a medical doctor. Having physical illnesses that are caused by stress or trauma does not mean you are going crazy and it sure does not mean that your problems are “all in your head.” Your body participates in everything your mind experiences.

When we say someone is a pain in the neck, take that literally. That unpleasant experience has caused your neck muscles to tighten. That person who makes you sick to your stomach really is affecting your digestion. So if you have seen a doctor and they can’t find anything medically wrong with you, consider getting some emotional help.

Here are some of the physical signs and symptoms that you are under too much stress or that your feelings are signaling your body they need some attention.

Appetite changes reflect feelings.

Can’t eat? Constantly hungry? Changes in appetite that are not connected to physical activity and caloric needs are a common indicator of an emotional crisis. Changes in appetite along with a loss of pleasure are at the top of the list for symptoms of depression. Loss of appetite can signal an anxiety disorder. Relationship issues and all manner of other stresses change your appetite.

Sleep responds to emotions.

Sleep, too much or too little is another mental health indicator. Sleep changes are a feature of depression. Low need for sleep or not sleeping at all and having plenty of energy could be signs of Bipolar Disorder. Just because you have not been diagnosed with Bipolar in the past is no reason to ignore this. Many people have had only episodes of depression and the blues before that first big manic break.

Aches and pains can be from stress.

Stress impacts your nerves and your muscles. One study reported that more than half of those with Fibromyalgia also met the criteria for PTSD. Living with lots of stress or trauma extracts a price from your nervous system. Do not wait till your nerves quit to get that stress under control. While thinking things away will not cure physical illnesses alone, what you do about that stress can affect the course of your physical illness.

Cravings signal something is going on in your feelings life.

Cravings for foods could be a nutritional deficiency but it could also be the warning sign of depression coming. Craving for behaviors or chemicals are hallmarks of addiction. While most behavioral addictions have not yet made the list of recognized mental illness, counseling is helpful if you find yourself craving things that could be harmful to your health or your life.

Loneliness can cause or be caused by emotional issues.

Feeling lonely or emotionally needy is a sign that your feelings life is in need of help. You should not hesitate to get assistance for emotional cravings. Loneliness is a recognized cause of relapse for substance use disorders. What is often missed is that feelings of loneliness and neglect can be triggers for mental and emotional disorders.

Lowered resistance to colds and flu may have an emotional cause.

Depression, Trauma, and stressor-related disorders all lower your resistance to illness. Happy people have more resistance to physical illness and are more resilient to emotional letdowns. If you are having trouble getting over a physical illness, take another look and see if your emotions need mending also.

Temperature regulation – sweating could be anxiety or panic disorder.

Sweating and poor temperature regulation has been connected to anxiety and stress-related disorders. Learn deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness. Cut back on the high rumination diet and see if your body does not stop sweating things.

Out of willpower – procrastination? Is it caused by stress?

Lack of energy, low willpower, and a general malaise are all signs of emotional disorders. Depression and anxiety are the chief suspects here but other mental disorders can result in low motivation and a lack of willpower.

Irritable – low blood sugar – the two are connected.

Low blood sugar makes people more irritable and leads to anger and conflict. The opposite connection can exist. Poor emotional regulation can play having with your efforts to regulate blood sugar and other hormones. Make sure you are taking care of your emotional health and see if that does not help you improve your physical health.

Panic happens more often when you are stressed.

Panic may be appropriate if they are shooting at you or if the lion is hunting you. Panic in the sense of a sudden mobilization of effort. But if you are having panic attacks on a regular basis, if the setting on your anxiety or panic meter is turned up way too high, your emotions are going to create a lot of physical symptoms that will not respond well to the doctor’s prescription of medication.

Is emotional stress having an impact on your physical health?

Anxiety

Depression

Emotions and Feelings.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders (OCD)

PTSD & Stress

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Hope looks out windows

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Hope is

Hope Looks out windows
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Hope is like the stars

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Hope is like the stars

Hope is like the stars

“Hope itself is like a star – not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity. ”

― Charles H. Spurgeon

Hope: To have confidence; trust with earnest expectation of good.

To entertain or indulge an expectation of something desired

Expect; regard as likely to happen

– Century Dictionary, 1889

What give you hope?

12 Steps to increase your confidence.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Confidence

Confidence.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Increase your self-confidence by following these 12 easy steps.

1. Stop trying to be perfect – no one is.

Focusing on being perfect keeps you thinking of the negative. Focus instead on your personal best. Work on being just a little better each time you do something and over the long haul you will see improvement. Skills take constant polishing to develop and to maintain.

2. Improve yourself.

Learn a new skill, tackle something you have never done before. Confidence is based on having a wide variety of areas in which you feel competent. Freed of the need to be perfect in everything, you can be however good you are at lots of things. The more skills you have, even rudimentary skills, the more confidence you will have.

3. Don’t compare your private self to others public selves.

We all know our private self. The times we have done something we regret. You know your imperfections. It is easy to compare yourself to someone else’s P.R. image. Do not compare your naked self to someone else’s red carpet costume. Time and again we have seen a public person that many thought had it so together, only to find out that this public person hid a major flaw.

4. Accept yourself warts and all.

The key to increasing your self-confidence is to accept that the way you are now is perfectly OK, all the while striving to become the best person you can be. Being self-deprecating is not being humble. Stop putting yourself down. Accept yourself and you make it easier for others to accept you. Reject yourself and no amount of accomplishments will make you feel good about yourself.

5. Please yourself first for increased confidence.

Trying to please others first results in being chronically unsure if you measure up. Outside people do not know you the way you know you. There will be others in your life you will never be able to please. Some parents think the way to get their children to do better is to always point out their offspring’s flaws. The result is that those children feel they can never measure up and some give up trying altogether, a thing we call learned helplessness. As adults, many people can trace their lack of confidence to a lifetime of trying to please impossible others.

If you have or had someone in your life like that, realize that pleasing them is an impossible task and focus on pleasing yourself.

6. Take more chances.

The great basketball players take more shots. Many highly successful people have tried a number of careers or businesses before they found their niche. You do not protect yourself from failure by sticking to the things you already know. Trying new things helps you discover talents you never knew you had.

7. Have a gratitude list.

Creating a list of the things you have that you are thankful for. Write down a list of your life accomplishments.  Remembering the things you have accomplished in life boosts your confidence. People who lack self-confidence tend to dismiss their accomplishments and discount what they have because they focus only on the things that are lacking.

Recognizing the things you have and the part you have played in creating those things can boost your self-confidence.

8. Use affirmations to increase your confidence.

Affirmations are an incredible tool for boosting confidence. Tell yourself that today you will have a great day and your brain creates it. Say these positive affirmations to yourself every morning. When you need a boost of confidence, repeat them to yourself.

For maximum effectiveness pick affirmations that you believe. Do not try to lie yourself into self-confidence. If you want to be more famous your brain may not accept the affirmation I am famous. It could accept that “Today I will do things that people should notice.”

9. Do your homework – be prepared.

Giving a speech about something you know nothing about will not inspire confidence. Teachers, even those who have been at it a long time, will prepare before classes. New to a field? Learn the basic vocabulary and the “who’s who” of your job. The more you know and the more subjects you know about the easier it will be for you to have conversations with people. Knowing what you are talking about breeds confidence.

10. Educate yourself – read.

Confident people know a bit about a great many things. Self-assured people read and read widely. Read about your own field but also read about things outside your interests. Being well versed in many things will help you interact with others in a confident way.

11. Find the things you care about.

Know yourself and know your interests. It is much easier to be confident when talking about or doing something you really care about. Self-knowledge should make you more confident not less. Accept your good qualities and do not dismiss them lightly. It takes time and practice to become proficient at things. Pick things to practice that you enjoy and you will learn them more rapidly and become better at them.

12. Look for the happy things in life – smile and laugh.

Being a happy person draws others to you. Happiness is a skill. It requires practice and observation. The negativity in the world yells at you every day. The positive happy things wait patiently to be noticed. Make happiness watching a skill you hone every day.

More self-esteem info

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Do you have delusions of inferiority?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Delusions.

Delusions.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Do you suffer from delusions of inferiority?

Most of us are familiar with the term delusions of grandeur. In delusions of grandeur, people think they are more important than they really are. In my practice as a therapist, I find that far more people suffer from delusions of inferiority. What are some of the signs of delusions of incompetency and how would you recognize someone who has these delusions?

Normal people have moments of doubt. Low self-esteem is a frequent problem. They wonder if they are doing things well or if others like them. People who suffer from delusions of inferiority see only their shortcomings and never notice anything good about themselves.

People with extreme feelings of inadequacy are prone to overcompensate and hold others to a higher standard than they hold themselves because they believe that others are more capable than they are. This can look like narcissism. Some writers have suggested that narcissists all suffer from delusions of insecurity that they cover up by thinking only of themselves. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is an extreme case of a person not being able to see things from another’s perspective.

Here are a few of the ways that people who suffer from delusions of inferiority exaggerate their shortcomings and minimize their positive qualities.

Do you believe that you have to be perfect to be worthwhile?

That constant focus on perfection and the beating yourself up for each and every perceived flaw can take you to a place of thinking you are not OK. People with delusions of inadequacy forgive imperfections in others but not in themselves.

They tend to see things in black and white terms, no middle ground. Either they are perfect or they are worthless.

Do thoughts of you make you want to kick yourself?

When you look in the mirror do you see only defects? You are focusing on the negative and discounting anything positive about yourself. Focusing on your flaws does not keep you humble or motivate you to do better. Delusions of inferiority keep you unhappy and immobilized.

People with delusions of inferiority do not like themselves and would not want them for a friend. This impedes their ability to make real friends and makes them suspicious of others who try to befriend them.

Are you constantly telling yourself that you are stupid or incompetent?

Constant put-downs are not something you should take from others and you certainly shouldn’t be doing that to yourself. You can’t beat yourself into being a better person. Run yourself down enough and your brain starts to believe what you say.

Martin E. P. Seligman tells us in “Authentic Happiness” There is not a shred of evidence that strength and virtue are derived from negative motivation.

Beating yourself up will not make you try harder or be more moral. At least not in the long run. Some people think that by running themselves down they are preparing themselves for when they fail, softening the blow. What they are in fact doing is creating the failure they fear.

People with delusions of inferiority think others are more capable.

This belief that others are more competent and you are less competent results in setting up high standards for everyone else. People who suffer from delusions of inferiority live a life in which they are constantly disappointed when others do not live up to their expectations.

Another risk for the person with delusions of inferiority is that they will push their offspring to be more than they were. The effort here is to live through their children’s accomplishments. The result is, most often that the child can never be enough to meet this parent’s needs and the next generations of delusions of inferiority are set in place.

You discount your accomplishments.

If you feel that you are inherently defective or flawed you need to discount your accomplishments. Rather than see the things you do as evidence you are just as worthy as others, the person with delusions of inferiority will dismiss their successes as just luck, an accident, the result of someone else helping them; as something of no great value.

Giving yourself a round of applause for something well done will not result in a swelled head or any of those other maladies people who are stingy with compliments fear. There is more danger from not ever hearing praise than from hearing too much.

You find it impossible to accept a compliment.

Do you find it hard to accept compliments? Do you wonder why people say nice things about you? You may have so thoroughly convinced yourself that you are less than others that you think people who are complimenting you are lying.

People with delusions of inferiority will avoid potential friends as they can’t imagine anyone wanting them for a friend.

You seek praise and popularity.

People with low self-worth, delusions of inferiority may constantly seek praise and compliments even when they are unable to accept those compliments. When you do not feel you deserve praise no amount will satisfy your hunger.

There are some thoughts about delusions of inferiority, their causes, and their cures. What do you think about this subject? Do you feel unworthy or are you moving towards the happy life you deserve?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Hope is Spring Flowers

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Hope is Spring Flowers

Hope is Spring Flowers

“You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming.”

― Pablo Neruda

Hope – a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

What brings you hope?

10 Characteristics of Emotional Vampires.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Emotional vampire.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Emotional vampires take your energy.

There are those people who drain the energy of everyone around them. They can suck the happiness right out of a room. In the beginning, you may think they are your friend or they are in need of help, maybe they are family. Over time you discover that they are feeding off your emotions and leaving you exhausted. Sometimes you ask yourself is it you? Or is it them? Others tell you that you are being emotionally abused.

Here are ten ways to spot an emotional vampire before they drain you of all feelings.

1. Their problems are always worse than yours.

You listen to them tell about their trials and tribulations all the time but should you ever face a difficult situation do not expect anything from an emotional vampire. No matter what difficulty you are having they have a story to top that. Every conversation turns to their troubles current and past. They have no interest in hearing about your problems because only their issues matter to them.

2. They take and never give.

You help them out because they need it. But let one time arise that you need a little help they will have a hundred excuses why they can’t. You may start to feel resentful when they ask you for something and then you question yourself. You should help out your friend’s right? But one day it dawns on you that they are never there when you need them. Emotional vampires take with no thought of giving back.

3. Nothing you do is ever good enough.

They can find fault with any and every gift they have ever been given. You try to please them and they point out your shortcomings. The gift is never good enough and the deed is never enough. Whatever you did for them you should have done more, done it faster and someone else does it better than you.

4. They can find a problem with good news.

Happiness destroyers can never see the positive in anyone or anything. Tell them that something good just happened and they will quickly tell you why this boon is nothing. They get a job and tell you that they know that it won’t last, the place is just trying to take advantage of them. You graduate from school and they will say with that degree you will never find a job. When they get a compliment they throw it back saying no one really appreciates them.

5. They make you walk on eggshells.

When you go to say something, you think first about how they will react. There are things you can’t talk about, people you better not mention, and topics that are off-limits.

When talking to an emotional bloodsucker you worry about every word you might use, being the one to set them off. Your time with them is spent worrying about what you need to do and say to not upset them.

6. It is all about them.

Everything that happens has happened or will ever happen is all about them. Every conversation turns to them and how it is always someone else’s fault they are miserable. Introduce a new topic of conversation it quickly turns back to their misery and their expectations that others will let them down. You need to constantly placate them and do for them and still, it is not enough.

7. You are a tool to get them what they want – manipulation

Feel like you are constantly being manipulated? You probably are. Emotionally abusive people believe that if you spotted their game you would not play. Do you feel that this person never comes right out and asks for what they want but tries to use guilt and manipulation to get their needs meet? Are they feeding off your emotions to make themselves feel better?

8. They look for ways to hurt others.

Emotionally abusive people are bent on revenge. They have a list of enemies and expect you to be on their side in getting revenge on that other person. Emotional vampires will make you chose, them, or the other. If you do not prefer them over everyone else you become an enemy also. For emotional vampires, friends of their enemies are their enemies. Anything short of total loyalty to them is a reason for them to lash out at you.

9. Their life is full of drama and it sucks you in.

If you have family or friends who are always in the midst of drama you will find that this is not healthy for you. Each day in their life is another soap and they expect you to be their constant sidekick in all this drama. Eventually, you will come to feel that your life has followed theirs down the drama queen highway. Your own life is always in second place to their current crisis.

10. They always need to be right.

People who are emotionally needy find it impossible to ever be wrong. They will keep the argument going till you finally give in and agree that they are right. Even after you agree with them they will continue to insist on how they are right. Any contribution you make to the conversation will be dismissed and may be interpreted as yet another disagreement with their always correct position.

Have you had emotional vampires, emotionally needy, and abusive people in your life? How have you protected yourself from them?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Anxiety makes you sick in so many ways.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

anxiety

Anxiety makes you sick.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Lots of illness, is it anxiety telling you to be sick?

Many mental illnesses have very real physical symptoms. Those symptoms of depression and anxiety are not just in your head. Stress puts your body through some very debilitating changes. Having an anxiety disorder can look like a physical illness. If Anxiety goes on too long, those chemicals your nervous system is throwing out can lead to some long-term physical illnesses.

The mind-body connection does not just work in one direction. Physical illnesses can cause emotional problems. Emotional problems unrecognized and untreated can contribute to many physical illnesses. If you have any of the following psychical problems check first with your doctor. If that doctor can’t find a physical cause, consider working with a mental health professional to reduce your stress or treat your anxiety and depression.

Getting mental health help does not mean you are “crazy” or are losing your mind. Not getting help is you cheating yourself out of something that could do you some good.

Because anxiety symptoms mimic physical health symptoms when in doubt see your physician.

Anxiety causes sleep disturbances.

Being anxious interferes with your sleep and poor sleep contributes to physical illnesses. If you are lying awake at night turning problems over and over in your mind, a process called rumination, your anxiety is out of control and needs treatment.

Anxiety causes your mind to race.

Mind racing interferes with work and with relationships. Your mind leaves on its own and there is no space in your head left for the things you need to be thinking about. Mind racing from anxiety is very different from the inattention in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or the impulsive thoughts in Bipolar Disorder. In anxiety disorders, the racing mind is about what has happened and what might happen and how terrible it would be if those things were to happen.

Anxiety leads to indecision.

Anxiety uses up so much of your brain that there is not much “computing capacity” left for other decisions. People who are high in anxiety find it hard to make decisions and remember everyday items. This leads some to question if they are developing Alzheimer’s or dementia.

With Anxiety, you may find it hard to breathe.

People with high levels of anxiety tend to breathe from the upper chest, almost the throat area rather from way down deep near the diaphragm. The symptoms of this altered breathing are easy to recognize. They remind me of the dog that is out of breath and pants fast and shallow. Healthy breathing puts air in the bloodstream, anxious breathing, hyperventilating, leaves you worse off.

Anxiety leaves you light-headed.

That strange disoriented feeling, where you feel light-headed and out of things may be the result of excess anxiety. The changes in breathing described above contribute to these feelings of light-headedness.

In “Anxiety Attacks” the heart races. Having sudden episodes of anxiety is common if you are in a dangerous situation or under stress. When these events get severe they get diagnosed as Panic Disorder, a recognized mental illness.

These feelings of chest palpitations result in people with anxiety symptoms ending up in the emergency room. The first few times the symptoms of a panic attack can resemble a heart attack. You need a doctor to check you out to be sure. People who have frequent panic attacks come to recognize the difference as they have been through this before. Unless you are sure, it is wise to get this checked out. One sure way to tell the difference is to try slow breathing and hold your breath for a few seconds between breaths. As the breaths slow down the symptoms should subside if this is a panic attack.

Anxiety prevents swallowing.

Anxiety can constrict your throat and make it hard to swallow. That feeling of choking that can happen before anything has entered your mouth likely is anxiety. Fear of something bad happening can create the same symptoms you feared.

Anxiety kicks in the flight mode.

High levels of anxiety prepare you to run, There may be trembling in the legs like a car revving up to take off. You may develop a restless feeling and want to run. Some people report jelly-like legs. Sweating and shivering may also be caused by anxiety.

Anxiety disturbs your appetite.

Some experience this as a loss of appetite, others feel nauseous and unable to eat. You might also have feelings of wanting to throw up. All of these digestive interfering results of anxiety are the body’s ways of lightening the load and diverting blood from the stomach to prepare you to flee. If you really do need to run, all well and good. But if you, like many other people in modern life, have more anxiety than you need, these digestive irritations can do harm to your digestive system over time.

With all these health-related symptoms there is a huge tendency for people to ask for, even demand, medication from their doctors. Anti-anxiety meds can be helpful in the short run but reducing the stress and anxiety-provoking situations in your life coupled with other anxiety-reducing techniques will work in the long run without the risk of becoming medication dependent. People who combine medication and counseling intervention seem to get past the anxiety faster.

Do any of these symptoms of anxiety affect you? Have you seen the doctor? Have you found other methods to control or reduce your anxiety?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

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For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Unhelpful thoughts that are holding you back.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

How many of these unhelpful thoughts are you holding onto?

Most people have a number of negative dysfunctional thoughts that get in the ways of having the happiest life possible. Some counselors call these thought patterns self-defeating thoughts or self-sabotaging.

Recently I have come to think of these thoughts as hugely unhelpful. Calling them unhelpful thoughts makes them easier to transform. If you have any of these unhelpful thoughts filling up your head and getting in the way of you being the person you want to be, if these kinds of thoughts are between you and your happy life, then now is the time to change these thoughts.

I should never make a mistake.

Do you think it is wrong to make a mistake? Making mistakes is a part of doing. The only way to avoid mistakes is to do nothing and that is a mistake. Cut yourself some slack and stop trying to be something you are not. No one is perfect. Accept this and let your best be good enough. Insisting on perfection keeps you stuck in mediocrity.

I am right and they are wrong.

This is sometimes called “right fighting.” Insisting on being right does not foster better communicator or move things along towards a resolution. It does not matter who is right. Rarely will continuing to insist that you are right, make any difference. Let other people have their own opinions. Just because others may not agree with you should not diminish your view of yourself.

There is something missing in my life.

You have what you have. Continuing to focus on what is missing keeps you stuck. Really believe you need something? Then go out on a quest and find the missing element. What happens to so many people who spend their lives looking for that one missing element is that when they find it, it turns out the search was what they needed not the thing.

More money will fix what is wrong.

Money helps sometimes. More money creates more options. But most of life’s really major problems can’t be solved by money alone. If you put off action thinking that only money will make a difference you will miss out on a lot of other possibilities in life. Having money rarely happens all at once. People who have true wealth build it a little at a time over the long haul. Invest in yourself and the rest will follow.

Others need to change before I can.

Making others change is really hard. Most of the time you will not be able to make them change. If your reaching your goals requires others to change you are out of luck. The best way to create change in others is to change yourself first and then see how that puts others in a position to change in response.

My problems are someone else’s fault.

People can ease your path or make it more difficult. Continuing to blame others keeps you stuck in the past and in the problem. While others may have contributed to where you are, for good or bad, you are the one deciding whether to stay stuck in the past or move forward in the present.

Accepting that you are responsible for your choices and taking back your power over your future is on the path to recovery. Want to get unstuck? Start making your own choices. Stop looking over your shoulder at what others did to you in the past and start to look forward to what you will do for you in the future.

Things should not be this way.

The world is as it is. Energy focused on the problem is energy diverted from the solution. Dwelling on all the things that are wrong and insisting that things be the way you wish them to be will not change them.

Don’t like the way things are? Go about making changes. Start by changing you and then work on being of service to those around you.

I must have someone to love me.

To attract love into your life you need to be someone who loves themselves. Work on being the best you possible. Be your own best friend. Do kind loving things for you and those around you.

A partner can’t overcome the things you do not like about yourself.

 Other people must like me.

No one is ever liked by everyone. The more people do the more others will criticize them. Do what is right. Do what pleases you. You cannot please everyone all the time. If you please, one person, you may displease others. Focus too much on pleasing others and you will lose yourself.

I need to prepare before I can do something.

You are always doing what you are doing. You will not start out being perfect. Life is about growth and learning. Becoming good at anything requires practice. If you never begin because you are waiting to be fully prepared you will never get started.

My past controls my future.

Your past may have made you who you are but what you do now will make you who you will become. Every moment of every day we have choices. Some are small choices and some are larger. Those small choices can add up to large changes over time.

Which of these unhelpful thoughts are holding you back? Which will you begin to change today?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Two David Joel Miller Books are available now!

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Casino Robbery is a novel about a man with PTSD who must cope with his symptoms to solve a mystery and create a new life.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

Want the latest on news from recoveryland, the field of counseling, my writing projects, speaking and teaching? Please sign up for my newsletter at – Newsletter. I promise not to share your email or to send you spam, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse, and Co-occurring disorders see my Facebook author’s page, davidjoelmillerwriter. A list of books I have read and can recommend is over at Recommended Books. If you are in the Fresno California area, information about my private practice is at counselorfresno.com.