Tag Archives: aging

My Scary Encounter with the Department of Motor Vehicles

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My Scary Encounter with the Department of Motor Vehicles
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

My Scary Encounter with the Department of Motor Vehicles

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

The longer I live the more challenging life has become.

Recently, I was forced to confront the fact that I have gotten somewhat older. I have been putting off calling myself a senior citizen. Even though it’s not politically correct, I continue to refer to myself as an “old person.” For some reason, I’m resisting the term senior citizen. Maybe it’s because I’m so old that I’m stuck in my ways. In the interest of full disclosure here, I will turn seventy-six in the early days of 2024. I think seventy-six qualifies as an old guy.

Has the earth begun to move more rapidly?

Everything about life seems to be moving at an accelerating pace. I realize that one possibility might be that I am moving more slowly. But I’m doing my best to keep up. I think I do pretty well for an old guy, considering I am still working somewhere near full-time. I do write a blog, and I do have a YouTube channel. I did need to use the services of some technical consultants. One of my interns showed me how to answer a text message. And a preschooler has been teaching me how to stream videos. Even with the help of some younger people, it’s still getting harder to keep up.

Why did the rules keep changing?

One of the major challenges of adding more trips around the sun to your total is that the rules of life keep changing. Recently, I received a letter from the nice folks at the California Department of Motor Vehicles, informing me that since I was past seventy, I would need to take a written test at the DMV to renew my license. No more mail or online renewals for me. This struck terror in my heart.

What does an old academic do when faced with a challenge?

Of course, the first thing I did was go online and locate a copy of the current driving rules. I was flabbergasted to find out that they had significantly changed the driver’s handbook since I passed my first written test in 1964. Warning here: beware of online guides to passing your driver’s test. Even though I typed “California driver’s exam” into the search bar, I discovered some of the answers they taught me do not apply to California.

What new rules did I need to learn about?

It seems quite a bit of new content has been added to the driver’s handbook since I first learned to drive. I’ll only give you a short summary here.

Bicycle lanes.

I don’t remember anything about bicycle lanes in the driver’s handbooks from the nineteen sixties. If it was there, it wasn’t important. I was learning how to drive, after all. I had been riding a bicycle for ten or twelve years by this point. What was new and surprising were all the rules about when a motor vehicle could enter a bike lane. Bikes have lanes?

Some other things they snuck in just to confuse me.

Most of these changes in the rules came on, so gradually, I simply learned how to cope with them by watching what other people were doing and driving each day. But when it came to passing a written test on these changes in the law, I discovered I really needed to study.

For example, what are the rules applying to roundabouts? What are those blue signs and those blue zones? Of course, I knew about blue zones from having had a family member with a disabled parking permit, but the blue signs, they were a mystery.

I also discovered that there is a new sign appearing on the back of slow-moving vehicles. Apparently, we need to be told that horse-drawn carriages move more slowly than motor vehicles. I didn’t think I needed to be told that with that special sign since I remembered that they were on the roads first, and those of us driving vehicles came later.

Are all the stoners being discriminated against?

As I have aged, I’ve given up a lot of things. Among them are alcohol, drugs, and staying up past midnight. But do you realize that now the use of marijuana is included in the driver’s handbook? Just like open containers of alcohol, possession of an open container of marijuana is not permitted in a motor vehicle. Who knew?

Staying relevant can be quite a challenge as you age.

I felt pretty good that I could use the terminal to take my written driving test. Some people who were ten years younger than me needed to use the written test. And I did pass on my first try. One poor young man, probably barely past seventy, who was ahead of me in line, had just failed his written test for the third time.

I shouldn’t feel too cocky, however. I had just come to the DMV from picking up my new glasses. I now have one pair of glasses for looking at computer screens and a second set specifically for driving.

I have to feel sorry for the clerks at DMV. As hard as it must be for some of us senior citizens to be told our days of driving are coming to an end, it must be very hard for the employees to have to tell someone they can’t renew their license. All the people I talked with that day who worked at DMV were very kind and courteous. But the experience does serve as a reminder to me that the day may be coming when I will not be able to do some of the things, I used to be able to do.

Compared to DMV, my encounters with the technology people over the last few weeks suggest that some of the ghouls, fiends, and sadists who were unemployed after Halloween had moved into the technology sector. But that is a topic for another post.

In the meantime, try to have the best life possible, whatever that may mean to you.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Retired

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Retirement
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com   

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.”

― Betty White

“Whether we’re a preschooler or a young teen, a graduating college senior or a retired person, we human beings all want to know that we’re acceptable, that our being alive somehow makes a difference in the lives of others.”

― Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember

 “For it is in your power to retire into yourself whenever you choose.”

― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

As we are about to retire the year 2021, I thought now was a good time for this post. I personally have no intention of retiring, so long as I have more life left in me. As we move into the new year, I hope you will continue to read some of the things I write and find them useful.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Growing Old

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Growing old picture of books

Growing Old – photo courtesy of Pixabay

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

As the year comes to an end, I thought this was an excellent time to look at this topic.

“We are always the same age inside.”

― Gertrude Stein

“The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.”

― H.L. Mencken

“Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”

― Betty Friedan

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.

Inspiration

Aging.

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Aging.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Aging

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”

― C.S. Lewis

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”

― Mark Twain

“When I was your age, television was called books.”

― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.

Inspiration

The Golden Years Don’t Have to Be Sexless

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David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Affectionate Couple.
Photo courtesy of unsplash.com

The Golden Years Don’t Have to Be Sexless

Contrary to popular belief, sex isn’t just for the young. It’s a great stress reliever, a form of physical intimacy, and overall health booster for people of all ages, especially the older population. Here are some ways to ensure it stays a part of your life for as long as you want.

Address age-related issues

With age comes several physical changes that can affect our performance or enjoyment in the bedroom. Hormone levels drop and reactions to sexual stimuli slow, which can wreak havoc on your sexual health. There are several ways to address these issues, however, to enjoy a healthy and fulfilled sex life, no matter your age.

Older men who experience erectile dysfunction– like 60% of men in their 60s do, mildly or moderately– should speak with a doctor about a daily medication like tadalafil (generic Cialis) that improves the ability to get and maintain an erection, and enjoy more dependable functioning. Older women who have dryness– which nearly 1 in 3 experience after menopause– can benefit from a vaginal estrogen cream like Premarin that helps rebuild tissue atrophied with age, and provide a more comfortable experience. Facing these issues head-on can help ensure you and your partner maintain satisfactory sex lives, despite any physical changes that often come with age.

Get creative in the bedroom

If you and your partner have grown old together, your relationship may have become a little too familiar. All too often, the cause of a sexual dry spell is due to boredom in routine. If you and your partner have become indifferent in your physicality, it may be time to bring in some new experimentation to your sex lives.

Many couples benefit from adding in different aspects to their intimacy, like new positions or foreplay in order to experience a sense of freshness and excitement. And, trying something new together is a great way to build intimacy in your relationship and bond as a couple. Just be sure to bring up any thoughts to your partner ahead of time to ensure you’re both comfortable trying, then consider making it a game or competition to stay positive and fun. If your partner is uncertain, it’s imperative that you’re patient so you can maintain a healthy channel of sexual communication with them.

Communicate with your partner

As most couples have experienced, a significant aspect of physical intimacy relies on emotional closeness and effective communication. If you struggle to openly communicate with your partner, whether about your physical intimacy or your relationship in general, look into the root cause. Do you or your partner shut down conversations once they get uncomfortable? Does either of you tend to take an accusatory tone when discussing solutions? These are all ways to sabotage your communication as a couple and can filter into issues in the bedroom as your relationship grows older.

Be sure you’re both being open, honest, and understanding while trying to share your feelings, and don’t put any limits on the conversation. Get comfortable being completely open about your thoughts to develop a deeper intimate connection and improve your sexual satisfaction. Then, discuss likes, dislikes, or fantasies in the bedroom; it’s crucial that you and your significant other are performing constant check-ins before, after, and even during sex.

Whatever method you and your partner use, be sure you’re not becoming complacent in your sex life together. It’s important to both your relational and personal health that your sex life lasts well into your golden years.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Excess Medications – Poor Sleep linked to Dementia and Alzheimer’s?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Sleepwalking

Sleep Walking.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

New research is linking a lot of factors with cognitive decline.

Came across some interesting research recently about factors that may be increasing people’s risk of cognitive decline.  Both excessive medication and sleep problems appear to be risk factors for memory and thinking problems. We are a long way from any final answers when it comes to cognitive decline but some of this research is so convincing that I wanted to share it with you.

Poor sleep in the first few hours of the night, the time when memories and thoughts are processed and stored appears to be connected to eventual dementia. Low levels of oxygen also increased this risk.

There is a brief article on this research at PSYBLOG

One study does not make for final answers. This study was on only Japanese men and done in Hawaii. It made the connection between poor sleep, low oxygen, and dementia but did not find a connection to the subsequent development of Alzheimer’s. The source for the research? Published in Neurology.

So is the answer to this poor sleep and cognitive decline to put more people, seniors in particular, on sleep medications? Not really.

Turns out that many seniors are being badly overmedicated. The older you get the more likely it is that a doctor will prescribe sleep medications or anti-anxiety medications. The increase in anti-anxiety meds is troubling as research has told us that many seniors become less anxious not more so as they age.

The National Institute of mental Health published an article titled – Despite Risks, Benzodiazepine Use Highest in Older People.

This article reported on research into the prescribing of Benzodiazepines for older adults. The older you get the more likely it is that your doctor will prescribe a benzodiazepine for either poor sleep or anxiety. As you age you are more likely to be prescribed higher doses, for longer periods of time.

Most of these Benzodiazepines were prescribed by primary care doctors rather than by psychiatrists. Now here is the problem with that.

Taking lots of Benzodiazepines appears to increase your risk of developing Alzheimer’s. The more you take the higher the risk. Take these meds for 180 days or more and your risk of developing Alzheimer’s DOUBLES, or so this one study tells us.

The text of this article as published is on PubMed.

There is another reason to be concerned about this high use of Benzodiazepines among seniors. That is the interaction between Alcohol and Benzodiazepines. We know from the experiences in the substance abuse treatment field that as we age the body’s ability to remove chemicals from your body declines. Any drug use by the elderly is risky. Just because the drugs are prescription ones does not eliminate the risks.

We also know that a large part of drug overdose deaths is the result of the interaction of alcohol and Benzodiazepines. People are tempted to use alcohol to sleep and when this is done to excess the result is poor sleep not improved sleep.

What is the solution?

Please do not suddenly stop taking prescribed medications based on this blog post or any other online source. If in doubt talk with your doctor. Do all you can to manage your health concerns, get that diabetes or heart condition under control. Lose weight, all those other healthy things you know you should do. No pill is a substitute for a healthy lifestyle.

Consider all those things that we loosely refer to as “sleep hygiene.” There are lifestyle changes that can help you sleep better. Also if emotional problems are impacting your sleep or causing you anxiety or depression, consider counseling or therapy for those mental health issues. You do not need to be “mentally ill” to benefit from counseling.

Science has not given us a cure for cognitive decline just yet, that may never happen. It is possible to do everything right and still develop some cognitive loss. But until we have a better answer to this problem do all you can to reduce the risks and get more mileage out of that brain of yours.

P. S. There have been a couple of broken links in these posts recently. Who knew that links could be so fragile? If you find a bad link please let me know and I will attempt to fix it.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Binge drinking, memory loss, cognitive decline and Alzheimer’s

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Drinking

Binge drinking.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Binge drinking your way to Memory loss, cognitive decline, and Alzheimer’s.

Once you get past age sixty-five, it doesn’t take much in the way of binge drinking to impair your cognitive abilities. A recent study by Dr. Lang of the University of Exeter reports that the threshold for memory loss as a result of binge drinking is a lot lower in senior citizens than previously thought.

Seniors who binge drank TWO times per MONTH were 250% more likely to have memory loss and cognitive decline than those who did not binge drink.

The study defined binge drinking in seniors as four or more drinks on one drinking occasion. Given what other studies have found about the declining tolerance of seniors for alcohol, that four drink figure sounds awfully high. See a previous post on binge drinking for more on the effects of substances on the elderly.

This study does not draw a conclusion about any connection between binge drinking and either dementia or Alzheimer’s. But the conclusion that even occasional episodes of four drinks by seniors can impair the memory makes me question the safety of these promotions trying to get seniors to drink a little for their heart.

This study was presented at the Alzheimer’s Association International Conference. A second study presented at the same conference examined the effects of “moderate” drinking on older women. In this one over 1,300 women age 65 and up were studied for twenty years. The result?

Moderate alcohol consumption did not protect memory in older women.

We also suspect that binge drinking coupled with prescription medications increases the risk of blackouts in Seniors.

The drinking by seniors conclusion?

Alcohol consumption by seniors does not protect the memory and even occasional binge drinking, as few as four drinks in one day, maybe less, can result in memory loss for those in the senior community.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel