By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Your thinking may be the cause of your depression.
3 thoughts can create or worsen depression, even when life is going well for you. These three thoughts sometimes are referred to as the cognitive triad. One of the challenges people with depression experience is avoiding falling into thinking patterns that make the depression worse.
Have you ever thought “I’m no good?”
People who mentally run themselves down create depression. For a long time, there was a widespread perception that acknowledging your successes would give you a swell head. Parents avoided praising children. People thought they could motivate others by pointing out all their faults. The idea that verbally beating yourself up will make you work harder and accomplish more is a fallacy. Constantly criticizing yourself results in you defeat even before you’ve begun.
Criticizing yourself, saying you’re no good, and rehashing all your faults often overlaps with perfectionism. It’s wonderful to strive to be and do the best you can, but disqualifying your accomplishments because of one in perfection leads to paralysis and the inability to do anything.
Learn to recognize your accomplishments and build on them. No one is perfect. But focus on all the less-than-perfect things you’ve done in your life will keep you from accomplishing the many good things you might have done.
Several unhelpful thoughts can become habits that lead to this type of thinking. Do you routinely disqualify anything positive? Do you have a mental filter in place that allows you to see only the mistakes you make? Have you drifted into all or nothing thinking where you believe you’re either perfect or you’re worthless? If these unhelpful thoughts are fueling your depression work with a professional to eliminate them.
Do you often think that people are no good?
Every day we hear the news, and it’s full of stories of bad things happening. All that negativity isn’t offset by that one feel-good story they run at the end of the news. While bad things do happen every day, it’s also true that a great many good things happen too. Spotting terrible events is easy. Learning to recognize the good around you takes practice.
Every day all around us, people are doing good deeds. Those good deeds, those good things, are not as exciting as the stories of awful events. The human brain is often biased towards remembering the horrible things. If you lived in the woods or the jungle and you ate a berry which made you sick, your brain will remember that forever to protect you from eating something poisonous. If you find something that tastes good as you walk through the woods, your mind may not pay attention to that good thing. There’s no guarantee that the next time you come this way, there will be more of that good tasting fruit.
To reduce your depression, learn to look for the good in others.
Do you tell yourself it will never get better?
Some people do this as a way of protecting themselves from disappointment when bad things happen. This approach can bias the brain even more towards negative, depressing thoughts. If you lose hope, of course, you’ll become depressed. Every day all around us some people are succeeding. Learn to look for the positive and your brain will become better at recognizing it when it does happen.
One of the secrets to becoming a happier person is to become a happiness expert. Seek out happiness and learn to recognize it when it walks past you. Whenever you have any of these three negative thoughts or to challenge them. Tell yourself you are okay the way you are. There are still good people in this world. And most importantly, don’t give up hope that the future may be better than the past.
Feeling helpless and hopeless are the chief ingredients in maintaining depression. Look for the hope in every situation. If you reach the state of being helpless and hopeless, seek help. Professional counselors or therapists can often see the good in you and the potential for growth when all you can see is darkness.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Six David Joel Miller Books are available now!
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Some family secrets can be deadly.
What if your family secrets put you in danger?
Letters from the Dead The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead?
Casino Robbery is a novel about a man with PTSD who must cope with his symptoms to solve a mystery and create a new life.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Sasquatch. Wandering through a hole in time, they encounter Sasquatch. Can they survive?
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Books are now available on Amazon.
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Want the latest on news from recoveryland, the field of counseling, my writing projects, speaking, and teaching? Please sign up for my newsletter at – Newsletter. I promise not to share your email or to send you spam, and you can unsubscribe at any time.
For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse, and Co-occurring disorders, see my Facebook author’s page, davidjoelmillerwriter.