Tag Archives: relaxation

Fast Stress reduction.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Stressed out

Stressed.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Ways to quickly defuse stress.

Life is full of stress, some good and some bad.  Even the good kind of stress can wear you down. The longer you hold on to stress the more harm it will cause you.  Work on releasing your stress as rapidly as possible. Avoid stress when you can. Eliminate unnecessary stress when possible. For the unavoidable stresses in life try practicing some of these rapid stress reduction methods.

For less stress focus on your breathing.

Breathe slowly, breathe deeply.  Rapid shallow breathing increases anxiety.  Slow, deep breathing relaxes and destresses you.  Anytime you feel overwhelmed shift your focus to the way you are breathing. In goes the oxygen, out goes the stress.

Change the music.

Music strongly influences our moods. The music you listen to can reflect your mood; it can also change your mood.  When you are feeling stressed, put on some soft, relaxing music. Instrumental music can be especially relaxing. Music connects with our inner feelings in a deeper way than words alone.

Cool down for less stress.

Chill out to reduce your stress.  Your body temperature can affect the feeling of stress.  When you are feeling under stress, pay extra attention to the way, your body experiences the temperature.  When possible turn on a fan, move to a cooler spot, or drink something cold. A small desktop fan can blow away the stress along with the heat.

Give yourself a timeout to allow your stress to subside.

Allow time for you to think things over instead of reacting too quickly.  Look for ways to disengage from the stress if only for a few minutes. Counting to ten is a start. Longer timeouts are even better. Glancing away when safe, even for a moment, can help to interrupt the cycle of escalating stress. Taking short breaks will not detract from your productivity. Those rest breaks will keep you at top efficiency.

Disengage from artificial environments.

One quick way to reduce stress is to re-engage with the natural world.  Get outside for a few minutes.  Pay attention to the trees, the flowers, and the world around.  Artificial environments can add to your stress. Spending some time in nature can reduce that stress. In times of stress, reconnect with nature. If you can’t get outside, try looking out a window. Having a houseplant on your desk can be relaxing.

To destress move your body.

Do a little exercise, take a walk. A little bit of physical exercise can be a great help in reducing and managing stress.  It does not need to be strenuous exercise.  Get up and walk around, take a trip to the copy machine, or the water cooler.  Something as simple as shifting your body position can take the strain off your muscles and allow you to refocus on the task at hand.

Life becomes less stressful when you can picture the outcome you want.

Visualize having overcome your obstacles.  Sitting ruminating about your problems only magnifies the stress.  Think about what it will look like, what others will see, when you have overcome this obstacle.  If you can picture a positive result, you are on your way to overcoming your stress. When you shift from a problems orientation to a results outlook, the process of getting to your goal is less stressful.

Fuel and rest your body.

Drink some water. Your body and brain do not work well when you are dehydrated. Eat a snack, a good lunch to cope with stress. Low blood sugar will interfere with your body’s ability to run efficiently.  Don’t neglect nutrition, hydration, or to get an adequate amount of sleep.  A worn-out body is less able to cope with stress.  Avoid high sugar snacks and heavy meals, both of which can result in a temporary boost of energy followed by a deep crash.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Calm.

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Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Calm waters.

Calm.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Calmness.

“Nothing is so aggravating as calmness.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

“I will be calm. I will be mistress of myself.”

― Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

“Self-control is strength. Right thought is mastery. Calmness is power. ”

― James Allen, As a Man Thinketh.

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Relaxation.

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Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Relaxation.

Relaxing picture

Relaxation.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

“It’s a good idea always to do something relaxing prior to making an important decision in your life.”

― Paulo Coelho, The Pilgrimage

“Now this relaxation of the mind from work consists of playful words or deeds. Therefore it becomes a wise and virtuous man to have recourse to such things at times.”

― Thomas Aquinas

“Turn off your mind, relax, and float downstream.”

― John Lennon

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Amused.

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Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

amusement

Amused.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Amused

“I have found that the key to being happy — well, one of the keys, anyway — is to be easily amused,”

― Wil Wheaton

“amusement is a sort of relaxation, and we need relaxation because we cannot work continuously.”

― Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”

― Will Rogers

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Tools for Stress Busting.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Stress person

Stress.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Feeling stressed out? Try these stress reduction tools.

Life is full of stress. Good stress, bad stress it all adds up. The more gadgets we get the more there is to do. Stress can damage your mental and your physical health. Continuing to pile up stress without discharging it can do you harm. Here are some simple suggestions for stress reduction.

If you have too much unhealthy stress in your life how about trying some of these methods for reducing stress.

Take a brief break to lower stress.

Staying at the grindstone or the computer long after you have worn yourself out does not increase your productivity and it can be detrimental to your health. Take a few brief breaks from the stress in your life. Stop and look out the window, go for a walk, daydream a while.

Brief breaks do not reduce productivity, they enhance it. Just be careful to avoid other time-consuming activities during those breaks. It is not a break if you use the time to tackle another stressful activity.

Breathe deeply to feel less stressed.

Slow deep breaths increase the oxygen in your bloodstream. Deep breathing can reduce anxiety and reduce stress. Forgetting to breathe is one of the first effects of excessive anxiety. Shallow breathing can set off panic attacks as the body interprets that lack of oxygen to a life-threatening emergency rather than to your inattention to breathing.

Declutter your environment for less stress.

Some few of us like clutter. Everything needs to be visible for them to find things. But for most of us, all that clutter is a constant reminder of things we still need to do. Clean off those unneeded items. Make piles throw the unneeded things out.

Having a clean well-organized workspace can make working less stressful. Throwing out unneeded items and filing things away can give you a quick boost in your feelings of getting things done.

A clean organized environment can reduce stress for most of us.

Play your tunes to reduce stress.

Sound effects your mood and emotions in ways that words can’t. Music reaches parts of the brain that are oblivious to the spoken word. Having your songs playing in the background can keep you in a more relaxed and de-stressed mood.

Pick “white noise” type tunes if possible, thinks that screen out the rest of the world without distracting you. I have some personal favorites that are meditation and relaxation recordings I keep playing in my office. People who come to see me often comment on how relaxed that music makes them feel.

Put your mind on silent, meditate to banish stress.

Meditation far from being a time-waster can be a huge asset to creative thought and concentration. Let your mind empty out and make room for those insights to flow in. One immense source of stress is a mind full of things competing for attention.

The mind consumes a lot of calories and does a huge amount of work each day. We rest our bodies but many of us continue to pile work on our minds even while the body rests.

Learn to meditate as a way to take the stress load off that brain.

Get adequate sleep to manage stress.

People in industrial societies are chronically sleep-deprived. Sleep is not a waste of time. Sleep is when the brain does its repair work. Waste products from the heavy lifting are removed from the brain during sleep.

Memories are consolidated and moved around during sleep. Getting a good night’s sleep just might improve your memory and help you retrieve those facts when you need them. When we are overtired, mentally, or physically we are more prone to injuries and to make mistakes. A rested mind can conquer stress, a tired mind is no match for even the smallest amount of stress.

Take a stress-reduction walk.

Walking is a great way to reduce stress and exercise the body. Make walking a part of your routine and use a walk, even a short one to reduce stress during the workday. You will see benefits from walking in both your physical and your mental health.

Short walks increase attention and alertness. They make you more able to stay on task and reduce the stress of feeling overwhelmed with things to do.

Eat Healthier for less stress.

A healthy body is a key to having a healthy mind. Give your brain good nutrition and see how much more it can do. Running on low-grade brain fuel produces additional wear and tear on the thing you will need for your entire life – your brain.

Practice these stress-busting methods and see if your life does not improve. Do you have any favorite stress-busting techniques that you would be willing to share?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Getting rid of Nightmares that maintain Depression and PTSD

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Nightmares maintain depression and PTSD.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay

Then Come Nightmares.

Frequent nightmares play a major role in maintaining depression, PTSD, and other mental health problems. It is common for people to think that they need to cure the PTSD or Depression and then the nightmares will go away.  The opposite approach is more likely to be productive.

Most treatments for PTSD do not target the nightmares. There are treatments for nightmares available, some as brief as three sessions. These have been shown to help reduce nightmares and promote recovery from other problems.

Treatment for nightmares has been shown to reduce symptoms of PTSD and depression.

Children also suffer from nightmare related problems. Children who are fearful because of a family problem, moves, divorces, or separation develop symptoms of mental illness. “Bad dreams” are the result of the child’s out of control fear and are at the root of many childhood attention or conduct disturbances. When the child gets a good night’s sleep they behave, when they don’t sleep they don’t pay attention, and they don’t mind.

Nightmares are associated with high levels of anxiety. They are fear-based.

Most people who have PTSD, depression, bipolar disorder, or any other diagnosis also have a co-occurring anxiety problem. Now sometimes anxiety is good, it protects you from danger. But when the anxiety circuits do not turn off the anxiety gets to be the problem rather than the solution.

We also see lots of disturbing dreams in clients recovering from substance abuse problems. Substance abuse counselors report clients sharing about drug-using dreams. We have some simple interventions around those issues, but not much research has been done in this area because substance abusers, people with Bipolar Disorder, and people with psychosis are routinely excluded from research studies. I believe that the treatment for nightmares will work for anyone.

The solution is to tone down that fear circuit.

Before I describe a treatment method for reducing nightmares – a word of caution, working on nightmares, especially those that maintain PTSD, can be a painful process. It is best to work with a therapist or other professional person, and you need to make sure you have a strong support system in place in case you have difficulty coping.  For more on support systems see “How to develop a support system” or “How supportive is your support system?”

Taming nightmares involves three steps.

1. Learn relaxation methods.

Nightmares are fear-based, and the fear persists after you awake. Sitting thinking about the scary part of the dream might reinforce the nightmare and result in memorizing your nightmare. Fear and relaxations are not compatible. The more you relax, the less fear you will have. As you get better at relaxing your fear shrinks and your dreams become less traumatic.

2. Learn sleep hygiene

Keeping regular bedtimes, reducing or eliminating caffeine especially in the hours before bedtime and other efforts to improve sleep naturally are helpful. It is important to allow plenty of time for sleep.

People who stay up late and get up early gradually become sleep deprived. Lack of sleep aggravates all sorts of mental health issues. Insufficient sleep increases the possibilities that you will be suddenly awakened and will remember the “bad dreams.”

During sleep the brain keeps working on our issues, memories are consolidated and thoughts organized. We only call dreams “nightmares” if we awake during the dream and have memories of it. Better sleep can result in fewer nightmares.

3. Begin treatment of the nightmares once you are relaxed and well-rested.

The process of “reframing” nightmares makes them less scary and more manageable. Reframing or reprocessing is helpful for intrusive daytime thoughts as well as for nightmares.  The application of this to reducing or eliminating nightmares was described by Rhudy et al. in their 2010 article on CBT treatment for nightmares in trauma-exposed people, where they called it “ERRT” therapy.  Ben Furman has also described a similar approach for use with children.

Disclaimer- Rhudy et al.’s study, like most research in the mental health area, excluded substance abusers, people with mania or psychosis, and probably screened out all people with Bipolar Disorders. The sample size was also low with about twenty people per group. There is so much overlap between substance abuse, bipolar disorder, and PTSD in the clients I see these studies leave out exactly the people who most need new effective treatments. That said – the ideas appear to be fully appropriate for clients with co-occurring disorders.

Here is how it works:

To reprocess or reframe nightmares do the following things:

A. Write out as full a description of the nightmare as possible.

Getting it down on paper tames the story and makes it manageable. It also allows you to go back over it and add missing details. In step C you will be rewriting it with added insight.

Remember that it is a normal process for your brain to use your dreams to make sense of your experiences. In dreams, your brain will turn the experience around and examine it from all sides. Your brain may also play out multiple alternative endings for the event. It is not the dream that is the problem; it is the connection between the dream and fear that makes this a nightmare.

If you have several versions of the dream try to write them all down.

B. Read the nightmare story aloud.

Listen for the themes in the story. What are the fear messages? I think it is helpful to be able to read this to a therapist or other support person who can keep you from being overwhelmed and can provide some insight into things you may not immediately see. Just don’t make someone listen to your nightmare that is not emotionally able to hear the story.

C. Re-script the nightmare.

What is the expected ending? What is an alternative ending? Write out the story this time with a new less scary ending. Read the new version out loud. Has seeing a new possible ending tamed the fear?

Furman described a story, not sure where it originated, in which a grandmother applied the sort of approach to her grandson’s nightmare.

The child came to the grandmother scared because of a nightmare.

“Grandma, ” he said, “I had a nightmare.”

“There are no such things as nightmares,” The grandmother said “Only goodmares. All dreams should have happy endings. The problem is you keep waking up before the end. What is a good ending that could have happened?”

In this story, the child then works with his grandmother to find new happy endings for these scary dreams. The result – fewer scary dreams and less fear when bad dreams occurred.

Warring – in people with PTSD who were treated with re-scripting the fear declined first, anger later and the frequency and length of nightmares were the last things to decline.

Talk to your care provider about this process. If you try this process, see if it works. Learn to relax more. Tame your sleep. Then tame your nightmares. If you have had success in changing your nightmares ending please share your success with the rest of us.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel