By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

What should you do if counseling doesn’t seem to be helping?

Some people come to counseling for a couple of sessions and then drop out saying that counseling doesn’t work for them.

Other people come for therapy over a very long period, and while they feel counseling is helping them, other people don’t see any change. How do you evaluate the progress you’re making in therapy?

If you don’t feel you’re getting the results, you would like to see in therapy your progress, or lack of progress should be the primary topic you talk about with your therapist. Here are some questions to ask yourself and some of the factors that impact the effectiveness of therapy.

Is your problem acute or chronic?

Some problems are acute. Something has happened, and you can tell your counselor what happened and when. Treatment for acute problems can be very brief. You decide you need to change something in your life, or you may need to accept the change which has happened. What you may need is an empathetic person you can tell about what happened to you.

The problem some more chronic you’ve always been common anxiety, or you don’t ever remember being happy. Treatment for these problems is like treatment for a chronic medical problem. Managing long-term mental health problems can be like managing high blood pressure or type II diabetes.

The professional may be able to help you initially, but a significant part of the process will be your learning life skills to manage your problem over the long term.

How long have you been in therapy?

When you’re in pain, whether it’s emotional or physical, you want it to stop. Go to the doctor he can give you pain meds, or he can look for an underlying cause and treat that issue. If you have gone to therapy for a while but aren’t feeling better discuss with your counselor how long treating your condition should take. Many people have unrealistic expectations for talk therapy.

Treating emotional problems is a process. How long this process will take depends on your specific diagnosis and your personal characteristics.

How good is your relationship with your therapist?

Most of talk therapy is done through conversation. The best predictor of success in treatment is the relationship you have with your counselor. If you feel uncomfortable discussing certain things with that therapist those unsaid things could be holding back your progress. Ask yourself if the problem is your difficulty in talking about what you need to deal with or in your lack of trust in the counselor. Not every counselor is a good fit for every client. If you have been working together for a long time and don’t see progress, you may need to try working with a different therapist.

Are there some problems you’ve avoided discussing?

The issues you don’t deal with are the ones likely to be keeping you sick. Sometimes people go to counseling and talk about the surface day-to-day events. Every time you go you feel a little better. But if you never get down to the real core of your issues, each session is like a Band-Aid placed on a deep wound.

Therapy can involve treating deep emotional pain. Looking at your core issues can be uncomfortable. The process can be like peeling an onion. You go as deep as you can and then you cry little. When you have processed that material fully you go a little deeper. Over time you can heal all these deep wounds.

Are you working on your problem between sessions?

Your problems are with you between sessions. Talk therapy can be very instrumental in healing past wounds are in clarifying values and goals. For things to change in your life, you need to start making changes. For every one-hour a week of therapy, there will be 167 other hours when you’re not in therapy.

If your counselor is teaching new skills in session, you need to practice those skills outside of the therapy hour. The students who learn most in school not only attend class but also do homework outside of class. You can’t become a great musician by taking a weekly lesson. You need to practice your music between lessons. As you learn new emotional skills, you need to practice those skills between therapy sessions.

You’ll make more progress if you have clear therapy goals.

One reason people don’t make good progress in the therapy is fuzzy goals. Think about your goals for treatment. Discuss these goals with your counselor and make sure the counselor is working towards the same goals.

Consider adding medication to talk therapy.

Medication has not been shown to cure any mental or emotional illness, but medication can be very effective at managing symptoms so that you’re able to work on the causes. I’ve had lots of clients tell me they don’t want to take medication because they don’t want to become dependent on drugs. Unfortunately, many of those same clients are using alcohol, marijuana, gambling, or sexual addictions as ways to manage their problems. Newer psychiatric medications are much safer than the medicines that were available in the past. Discuss medication with your medical doctor and your mental health provider. Medication and therapy together are often more effective than either separately.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

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