Top Mental Health Blog Posts – counselorssoapbox.com 2015

By David Joel Miller.

2016 Becomes 2016

Top Mental Health Blog Posts 2015
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

What were the most read posts here in counselorssoapbox.com over the last year?

The year 2015 is coming to a close. Time to look back and look ahead. Below is the list of the top 10 most-read blog posts here on counselorssoapbox.com, some are old favorites and some are newer. If you missed any of these now might be a good time to take a look.

In the New Year, there are lots of plans. I will let you know about them as they come to fruition. Have a great night tonight, try to stay clean, sober, and in a happy frame of mind. In the morning we will start afresh in the year 2016.

How much should you tell a therapist?

Levels or types of Borderline Personality Disorder.

Is nicotine a stimulant or a depressant?

What do drug dreams mean?

Do people really forget what happened when drinking? – Blackouts

Do therapists have to report a crime?

What are the six kinds of hallucinations?

Do therapists like fall in love with, their clients? Why don’t they tell them?

Six ways to recover from Complex Trauma or Complex PTSD

Hyperthymia, Hyperthymic Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder 

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

The relationship you have when you don’t have a relationship.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Family torn apart

Divorce.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

When non-relationships take up all your time.

Do you spend lots of time thinking about people you are NOT in a relationship with?

Counseling sessions are frequently about the pain and wreckage of the past. For many people, the reason they decide they need to get help is because of the unfinished business of that past. Unpacking and lightening the load of baggage you are carrying around is a reasonable goal of therapy. One major thing most people need to talk about is the relationships that have come and gone.

Sometimes this process goes way wrong. The person talks to their friends and family and then their therapist repeatedly about their ex, the person that wronged them. Despite all their claims that they are done with that other person, they start and end every conversation with a reference to that other person. What they desperately need is closure around that past relationship, only closure never comes.

That repeated discussion and rumination about your ex may be the thing that is keeping you connected to the pain from that relationship. For you, it will never be over until you let go of that connection. Relationships are one of the few places we spend a lot of time thinking about what we are NOT doing. It is difficult, downright impossible to move on when you are still holding on to the past.

Do you obsess about your ex or someone who has done you wrong?

Rehashing that memory of the one who hurt or rejected you can become the worst form of obsession or addiction. If you spend much of your time insisting that something was unfair, that they should not have done what they did, you are holding onto the connection and insisting that the world and that person must be the way you want them to be. The relationship did not turn out the way you wanted, that is one reason it is over.

When you are really over someone or something, you stop caring. People who have really ended it and moved on start thing about the future, not the past. If they are not in your life then you should stop thinking about them. Only that is so very hard to do when there is still that connection you are afraid to let go of.  As long as you revisit them mentally you keep alive the possibility of reconnecting psychical.

When you have unfinished business with someone the connection remains.

If you still want to know why? Or are wanting to win an argument. Then you are unready to let that relationship go. Holding onto a relationship that has ended is like keeping a dead pet around. No matter how much you loved it back when, if you keep it around, eventually it starts to stink up your life.

Revisiting the thing that was and the “what should have been” keeps the connection to the past alive. Living in the past sabotages the present and prevents the future that could be. Closure will not come from that other person. It arrives when you loosen your grip on that past that did not turn out the way you wanted and you open your arms to embrace the future.

People can take up way to much space in your head.

The human brain only has so much capacity for thought. Most of the time there is plenty of idle space in your brain to learn new information and engage novel thoughts. But like that older computer, sometimes the problem you have your brain working on takes up all the thinking capacity in your brain. Ruminating about the past leaves no thought capacity to think about the future.

Letting someone take up mental space crowds out the brain space you need to think about positive things. Hard to start a new relationship with anyone when you are still holding onto the one that ended. If you still have your ex as a friend on social media and their number has not been deleted from your phone, there will always be a part of you staying connected to what you wanted things to be.

Occupying your brain with the one you hate creates so much stress in your brain that love, of yourself or others, has no room to grow.

Hate, anger, and fear keep you connected even after the relationship ends.

Negative emotions keep the connection growing larger and in a more intense way than positive ones. The most enduring relationship are those driven by hate and a desire for revenge. If you love something you can let it go but the thing you hate holds onto you forever.

People who walk through your life leave footprints.

Every person who has been a part of your life has made a journey through your mind. Some for the better and some have left scars. Just because someone’s path has crossed yours and they have left their footprints on your existence does not mean your soul has to follow their soul to bad places.

Have you kept holding onto a dead relationship? Is it time to let it go?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Who are you?

Sunday Inspiration    Post By David Joel Miller.

Who are you?

Finding who you are.

Who are you?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

“Do you want to know who you are?

Don’t ask. Act!

Thomas Jefferson

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Sunday seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you please share them.

Is the world a good or bad place?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Good world or bad world?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

You create the world you live in.

The question of whether the world is inherently a good place seems like a simple question on the surface, but how you answer the question and why you chose the answer you do has a profound effect on your life.

How would we go about finding out the answer to this question?

Should you look for evidence or trust your gut?

Is this something you “just know” or do your beliefs dictate that answer?

The evidence for a bad world.

There is certainly a huge amount of evidence that the world is, in fact, an awful place. Each night on the evening news we see a number of stories about crimes and killings, disasters, and suffering.

Our history books are a litany of examples of how terrible a place the world can be. From the Holocaust to the killing fields from what was Yugoslavia to the invasion of Chad, everything bears witness that man is capable of constant unabated cruelty to his fellow man.

Each night the stories from the Middle East bring us yet another example of ways in which this world is a horrific place. Are there no limits to how bad our world can be? Is the story of our world a horror-filled nightmare?

On rare occasions, we get good news.

Most newscasts try to wrap up their parade of suffering, with a “feel-good story.” Mother Teresa feeds the poor and the fireman rescued a trapped puppy or kitten. There are stories of people opening their homes to the victims of tragedies and those who try to do good in the world.

This episodic dose of good news seems like a dash of salt on the wounds of all the terrible things in the world. Are there so few good things happening in the world or is there a systematic basis in our media to present the bad in preference to the good?

Bad news sells the paper or the broadcast. A sprinkling of good news may keep us from throwing away the paper and turning off the broadcast. Is good news really such a rarity or is it that we have an insatiable appetite for the dark and evil side of mankind?

Forgive at this point the gender basis of the term mankind. While males seem to stand in the spotlight of bad behavior. I have little doubt that some women are capable of equivalent misdeeds.

When we add up all the evidence for good and bad we don’t get a total.

Every person on earth may be having a different experience of the goodness and the badness of this world. Even collecting all those scores and adding them or subtracting them won’t give us the result we are looking for. Times change, things get worse and then better and then worse again. We can’t ever be sure we have the final tabulation of the worth of the experience of life here on earth. How else may we determine the goodness or badness of this planet?

Some people just can’t help believing in the good of their fellow humans.

There are those people, disgustingly happy people, who despite the evidence see this world as a good and happy place. They chose to see things in a rosy glow despite all the evidence to the contrary.

Psychology tells us, at least one of the classes I took did, that realistic people are depressed and happy people live in an unrealistic world. So are happy people really delusional? And if so should we medicate them to make them more realistically depressed? Possibly continuing to believe in a good and beneficial world in some ways makes the world a tad better.

Some people staunchly believe that all people are essentially bad.

This point of view appears to be a widely held one, particularly by parents of small children who report they are convinced that unless supervised every moment from birth to death these children will, at the first opportunity, do all manner of nasty things.

There are those religious groups who will insist that being sinfully evil is the inherent nature of man and that only a large dose of following rituals and self-punishment to the tune they are playing will suffice to make these people less than totally unacceptable to some religious body and presumably their specific higher power.

You get to choose your worldview.

All the evidence notwithstanding, you can decide that you will like and enjoy the trip we call life. Or you can insist on thinking the worse about what will happen.

Jeff Bell in his book about overcoming OCD “When in Doubt Make Belief.” Talks about the helpfulness of creating beliefs that reduce your doubt. My view is that belief creates hope, and hope makes recovery and a happy life possible.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy along with positive psychology recommends picking beliefs that are helpful. For me, that would be believing those things that result in having a happy life regardless of the evidence to the contrary. If the belief is helpful it may be useful.

This also means that you may need to be aware that there will always be exceptions. You can insist that people are basically good and a few people will do evil things or you can insist that most people are evil and a few occasionally do good deeds. The choice is yours.

Personally, I go for having a happy life even though that means I may miss seeing some of the bad in the world. You can do either. The choice is up to you. Which belief do you want?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Darkness and Light.

Darkness

Sunday Inspiration.   Post By David Joel Miller.

dark before the dawn

Darkness and light.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

 

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

― Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches

“How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also if I am to be whole”

― C.G. Jung

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Sunday seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you please share them.

Relationship or being right?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Can't stop fighting?

Trapped in conflict?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Which is more important, a relationship, or being right?

The conflicts between people often revolve around who is right. Reminder, relationships do not all need to be primarily romantic or sexual ones. We have relationships all the time with people. Counselors spend a lot of time thinking about and working on something called the “therapeutic relationship.” The relationship between you and your therapist or doctor matters immensely.

Sometimes the most impactful relationships are the ones we have with people we say we are not in a relationship with. A lot of time in therapy is spent on the remnants of relationships past. You may still need support and healing from things that happened in that past relationship. You may have frustrations and anger from trying to deal with that ex now in the present.

Couples coming in for therapy wants to know who is right.

Don’t spend your time going for counseling to have a third-party decide who is right. It is a waste of your time. Sometimes a counselor can help a bit with a thing called “reality testing.” This means if someone’s thinking is a bit off we can give you some perspective. How does an outsider see things? That does not automatically mean that anyone is right or wrong.

What often should be on the table is the question, “Which is more important to you, proving you are right or saving the relationship?” Some people would rather toss the relationship than admit they were wrong about anything.

If you are thinking that describes you to a “T” then consider if you need to always be right, even at the cost of a friendship or relationship, may be saying volumes about the issues you should be working on in therapy. Mainly this means you need to work on you not them.

When you get into a disagreement is it important for you to be right?

If in a disagreement you feel you always need to be right, you may need to be right, and alone, a lot. People with intact egos can admit when they are wrong. Those who feel confident in their position do not need to prove others are wrong to validate themselves. It is usually the very insecure that need to stay on the argument until they force the other person to agree.

Right is in the eye of the beholder.

Two people can disagree and both of them can be right. Perspective makes all the difference. A couple comes in for relationship counseling. Over the weekend they went shopping for a new car. New to them anyway. They have no car and riding on the bus is making their work lives more difficult.

One of them, probably the man, picked out a car and insists they need to buy this one. His partner is insisting that they can’t afford the car it costs too much. This conflict has rapidly escalated from problem-solving to who is right and then heads for the stratosphere when they each begin attacking the other.

Things like “you only think about yourself” and “you are so selfish” get said. Who is right? How would the therapist know? You can ride the bus, maybe, but how long does it take to get there with the transfers? Does the bus even go to the place you work at? How far will you have to walk and so on? It is also very likely that this car is too expensive given this couple’s income.

The trap here is that each has a stake in being right rather than in solving the problem. Some of these need-to-be-right arguments tear relationships apart and may even end in divorce. See it was never about buying the car, it was always the emotions behind being right and having the other person support you.

You can’t beat someone into believing what you believe.

This form of conflict resolution and the need to have others agree with you has been going on as long as humans have walked on two legs. At least I believe it has.

We see this playing out on a horrific scale in the Middle East. From where I sit in the western world all members of the Islamic religion seem very alike. The differences between them seem minor. But they can see differences that lead them to violence in an effort to make everyone else believe what they believe.

Less we get smug about this, Christianity has a long history of fighting to get everyone to believe what they see as the absolute truth. Unfortunately, the Catholics see one truth and the Protestants see another. The Protestants have always prided themselves on being able to divide up into increasingly small groups and exclude all who do not believe correctly.

Despite our efforts to have a pluralistic society, there are plenty of conflicts over who’s belief about what is the correct one. When countries, religions, and political parties are so quick to fight it out over who’s belief is correct, is there any wonder why people extend this to closer relationships, like partners and friends?

Getting the other person to stop arguing with you does not make you right.

It is tempting to believe that if the other person or country stops fighting you then you have won and that means you were right. Neither of these things may be true. My earnest hope is that our leaders, political and religious, will find a way to get countries and religions to stop fighting over who’s belief is right. My efforts are more directed to helping couples, families, and individuals to work on putting their relationship before their need to be right about everything.

On the personal relationship level, when the other person stops expressing their opinion you have probably damaged the relationship.

Consider for yourself – is it more important to be right, win the argument even if this ends the relationship?  Win enough arguments and you can end up in a very lonely isolated world.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Possibilities

Sunday Inspiration    Post By David Joel Miller.

Possibilities

Possibilities
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

 

“If we all did the things we are really capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”

― Thomas A. Edison

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Sunday seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you please share them.

What is Recycling?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Recyclable materials

Recycling.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Do you really believe in recycling?

We have heard a lot about recycling in the last few years. Containers are marked recyclable. There are recycling centers and articles galore on the internet about how to recycle and what to recycle. Some people even describe themselves as “recyclers.” The biggest question in my mind is what precisely is getting recycled. Is recycling about things or about people?

People who talk recycling may be speaking many different languages.

It recently came to my attention that when people say recycle they may be talking about many totally different behaviors. They are also not in agreement on what needs to be recycled. Let me explain.  I have been in the habit of thinking of myself as a recycler for a long time. Other people just recently joined the recycling activity. We don’t all approach recycling in the same way or for the same reasons.

Cities have put on a big push to encourage recycling.

Cities, counties, sanitation districts, and so on have been pushing recycling because they needed to reduce the amount of materials entering landfills. Eventually, the dumps get full, and then we need to create another. All this, burying things, and then digging new holes for the next batch costs money. Bury less stuff and the agency involved spends less money. Money matters, but it is not the only thing that should matter.

All that waste that gets buried and then some of it decomposes. That results in gasses. Some of those gasses are flammable, some dumps are burning underground and some have exploded. Avoiding these problems is a good thing but that alone does not motivate a lot of people to recycle.

The residues of all that buried stuff are full of chemicals. Some of these substances are toxic and if water flows through all that rubbish it can reach the groundwater.  I am OK with drinking bottled water but do we really want to have to use that bottled stuff for cooking and bathing? How much caustic chemical do you want to rub all over your body in your morning shower?

All these are wonderful reasons to recycle, but that is not what most people in my town, and I will guess yours also, are thinking about when they talk about being recyclers.

Recycling centers pay cash for bottles and cans.

Paying cash for glass, metals and some plastics has really increased the amount of material getting recycled and this has kept a lot of stuff out of our landfills. It has also created a sort of marginal form of employment.

What many people mean when they say they recycle is that they separate out the part of their trash that they can sell to someone and get cash for. The rest of that stuff may be reusable but unless they are getting paid for it, they couldn’t be bothered.

Nowadays lots of people are picking up bottles and cans along the roadside and going through trash cans digging out things they can take somewhere and get money for.

I have witnessed “recyclers” who pull a couple of cans from the trash can for the few cents they will bring all the while tossing an armload of paper which could have been remanufactured into that self-same trash.

Thrift stores and charities do another kind of recycling.

There was a time when things were scarcer and it paid to repair broken items. Becoming a “repair” person was a potential occupation. Today many things are less expensive to replace than to repair. Worn or unwanted items get donated to thrift stores and charities.

Those items that are still in usable condition can be resold to fund future operations. Most charities receive a whole lot of donations that are hardly usable or which would require more cost and effort to repair than what they will bring. Disposing of the unsalvageable donations has become a significant problem for many charities.

Lots of waste materials can be used to create new things.

Paper can be reprocessed to make the next generation of paper. My belief is that many more things could be reprocessed or reused but the economics of collecting enough material and then reprocessing that material exceeds the cost of just making new items from scratch.

Briefly, we flirted with the idea of using garbage and waste food products to make alcohol. Vegetable-based fuel can be made but with the increased production of petroleum products and the decline in prices alternative fuels are becoming less and less viable.

Recycling may be useful to mankind in improving the environment, but to the individual, unless the recycling center will pay you to bring things in most people do not see these items as in any way recyclable.

Sometimes people need to recycle themselves.

People that were discarded by society because of their problems can be recycled also.

The mentally ill can recover. The addict and the alcoholic can get clean and sober and resume their place in society.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Types of auditory hallucinations – hearing voices.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

All radios

Hearing voices.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

How many types of auditory hallucinations are there?

Hearing voices or sounds that no one else hears occurs in people both with and without a diagnosable mental illness. Originally this question came in from a reader who asked about types of voices. What that reader was asking about was, voices that speak in the first, second, or third person, a very different discussion from what we are talking about here. Their question got me thinking that all those things that get referred to as “auditory hallucinations” can be quite different experiences.

Since these auditory events can vary so much it may be useful to consider some types of auditory hallucinations, “hearing voices” as the auditory hallucinations are often referred to, and we can see just how different these auditory hallucinations might be. Some of these events are easily explained and other sound events are reasons to suspect a long-term mental illness is present.

Some “voices” are misinterpreted sounds.

Hearing voices or other sounds and then finding out that others did not hear what you heard, happens more often than most people realize. At several times in the human lifespan, this is so common that it appears normal. In children and adolescents and then again among the elderly these auditory hallucinations type “hearing voices” are common enough that we are inclined to think this is a normal developmental event.

Mistaking one sound for another is a type of auditory hallucination.

Say you are sitting at a table eating lunch and then you think you hear someone calling your name. You look around and no one is there. Leaving out religious or supernatural interpretations here, you have just had an “auditory hallucination.”  If you hear an indistinct sound, your brain is likely to interpret this sound as something familiar, like your own name.

We have limited information on what these auditory hallucinations are like.

Auditory hallucinations are very individual experiences. Since part of the definition of auditory hallucinations is that they are heard by one person and not others we have only two sources of information most of the time. We, as in counselors, can rely on the reports of those who hear them or we can have observers who see people they believe are having auditory hallucinations describe how this is affecting the person who presumably is hearing voices. More information is coming in from brain scans but it will be some time before this begins to be widely used for diagnosis.

This more “objective” evidence of auditory hallucinations based on professional’s observations is subjective and involves a lot of guesswork and inferences. Clinicians may refer to a client as “internally preoccupied” and the presumption is that the client is listening to voices but they may also be lost in thought or because of concussions or dementia be unable to think coherently.

The experience of having an auditory hallucination has many personal features. The voice can vary in frequency from one time only to constant running commentary that never stops. Voices or other sounds can vary in intensity. Some voices are louder than others. Those hearing voices report varying degrees of ability to control the voices.

A person hearing voices may develop unique or special relationships with the voices for good or bad. Young children, especially those who have been under stress or traumatized, can begin to hear voices.

Here are some of the possible auditory hallucinations that have been reported by both clinical and non-clinical populations. Auditory hallucinations have been described in many ways and this list is far from inclusive.

Hearing hums or rhythmic sounds.

People who later develop distinct voices sometimes have told me that the “voices” began as indistinct humming or tapping sounds. For some people, this progresses and for others, it does not. Hearing issues, tinnitus, and hearing loss have similar symptoms.

Non-word sounds are more commonly heard by seniors, which does not automatically mean they are developing a psychotic condition. One research study I read recently reported that an imbalance in hearing between the two ears increases the risk that sounds will be miss-attributed. This is more pronounced if the left ear has less hearing ability than the right.

For this reason and a bunch of others, seniors are getting prescribed a lot of sedating antipsychotic medication.

Mumbling, whispers, or indistinct conversations or laughter.

Clients whose auditory hallucinations went on to become distinct voices have told me that in the early stages this was more like whispering or several people talking at once. Over time the voices are likely to get more distinct and clearer.

Positive voice or voices.

This kind of voice may be a departed relative or friend, guardian angel, or other spiritual force offering you encouragement. Clients have reported that they hear their grandfather, grandmother, or other relative telling them they can do something.

This coincides with research that reports hearing voices does not appear to make you mentally ill or worsen an existing mental illness if you take the voices to be positive things. Your beliefs about hearing voices determine how much it will bother you when you do hear those voices (Hill, et. al., 2012)

A recognizable person who is known to the client.

Young children especially those who have been under stress or traumatized can begin to hear voices. These voices are often someone who has been negative, criticizing, or even abusive. These kinds of voices may well be more a matter of memory failure, not being able to remember who said this to you in the past, than a current auditory hallucination.

A single unknown voice.

These voices do not appear to be anyone the person recognizes having heard in the past. This voice may be good, bad, or may vary over time. What this voice says and how the person hearing it interprets this experience is important in how it will affect them.

Male only or female-only voices.

This may be a part of a single voice as above or multiple voices described next. Sometimes this connects to a specific life experience and sometimes not. Freudian psychoanalysts can have a field day with these kinds of voices.

Multiple voices speaking at the same time or taking turns.

These voices may be talking to each other or they may be talking to the hearer. What they are talking about is sometimes significant. With this one and most of the ones to follow medication is highly indicated if it has not been tried yet.

A malevolent threatening voice.

This is a bad sign. Especially if the person hearing this voice has lost the ability to shut the voice up.

God or religious figure can talk to you.

Some people find this comforting, others think the devil is in their head and freak out.

Voices from inside the head.

It has been suggested this is the result of an “attribution” error. If you lose track of when you are having internal thoughts and your own thoughts begin to sound like voices this is a problem.

Voices from outside the head.

More problematic, less likely the person hearing these voices will accept that these are their own thoughts or misinterpretations of sounds.

Voices that are only heard in certain situations.

Some people only hear voices when they are very depressed or when they are very anxious. These can be their own depression and anxiety taking on the role of speaking to them or we might interpret this as problems with the brain as a result of a deficit in a neurotransmitter. Treat the depression and these kinds of voices usually go away.

Voices giving commands – command hallucinations.

This is very worrisome to me. How can the person who hears the voices all the time resist these commands? Anyone having command hallucinations, even potentially good commands, needs treatment. If the voices never stop, people will act on the voices, sometimes giving in and sometimes self-harming just to get the voices to shut up.

Voice is part of re-experiencing a past event.

Sometimes voices are the result of re-experiencing the past. An abuser said bad things about you and you remember their voice calling you names. But then again I tell my students that when they take licensing exams I hope they will remember my voice telling them the answers. A good teacher hopes their student will take their voice with them. Bad teachers find the student can’t get that critical voice out of their head.

Hearing voices is not always a bad thing.

I should also mention that not everyone agrees that hearing voices, is a bad nor an abnormal event. Take a look at some of the things that the Hearing Voices Movement has to say about their perspective on hearing voices.

If you have experienced voices or have talked with someone who does feel free to comment. I will get to the comments as quickly as I can and this time of year that may take a while but rest assured eventually I will respond to your comments.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

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Love yourself

Sunday Inspiration    Post By David Joel Miller.

Loving yourself.

Love yourself

Love yourself
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”

― Gautama Buddha

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Sunday seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you please share them.