By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Stress.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Feel trapped in your current position? Is your work contributing to your anxiety and depression?
David Miller, LMFT, LPCC.
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Counseling questions.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Some of you have read my posts on LPCC’s and the establishment of Professional Clinical Counseling here in California. Those who know me personally, in the before the blog days, have probably heard me talk about my belief that there is a difference between MFT’s, LCSW’s, and the new LPCC profession.
I have written some posts about LPCC’s and my experience with taking the GAP exam. I became licensed as an MFT (LMFT) because at the time California did not offer the LPCC license as an option. When the opportunity arose to take the GAP exam and become licensed as an LPCC I took it. Because in private practice I do see children, couples, and families I will continue to maintain both.
Most other states license Professional Counselors, Clinical Counselors, or some similar title.
Not all states licensed marriage and family therapists. (Update: I am told they now all do.) In fact, the California Association of MFT’s (CAMFT) has more members than the national association (AAMFT.) States that recognized LPCC’s first were slow to recognize MFT’s and vice versa.
It has taken a while to recognize the importance of mental health as an integral part of providing health care. The various specialties within the area of mental health, substance abuse, and co-occurring disorders continue to evolve and differentiate.
It took a long time to establish that there were other mental health specialties beyond Social Workers and psychiatrists. Some states elected to license Professional Clinical Counselors first and other states recognized Marriage and Family Therapists first. Eventually, I believe, both professions will be recognized everywhere as important additions to the mental health field.
My past posts on LPCC’s were written from my perspective as I took the step to take the GAP exam and complete both licenses. See:
Therapist, Counselor, or Social Worker?
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) Update
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) in California
Recently I have been talking with CALPCC about ways in which I could become more involved with CALPCC. More about that in a future blog post.
If you are interested in CALPCC or the profession of Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors take a look at CALPCC’s website. http://calpcc.org/
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Counseling questions.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
There are lots of life’s problems that need attention, but they don’t fit neatly under our definition of a mental illness. As a result, most insurance providers won’t pay for treating these problems or if they do there are severe limits on the amount of counseling that you can get for these issues.
These everyday problems that can derail someone’s life get a “V” code. That does not mean they are not important, but it does mean that generally, we don’t see them as an illness, more like a challenge the person must face and overcome. There are over 20 of these “V” codes. (In the DSM-5 this list has gotten longer.)
Some of these are the kind of issues that make the news, the partners who kill each other, and the extreme cases of child abuse. They need treatment but we can’t say that every couple who fights is mentally ill. What we can say is that killing your spouse is not normal or acceptable.
Conflicts with other people are a big part of this, Partner Relations problems, sibling relational problem, parent-child relational problem. These conflicts can cause a lot of damage and they need treatment. Marriage, family, and child counselors specialize in just these issues. The list of relation problems goes like this:
Partner Relations problem
Sibling relational problem
Parent-child relational problem
Relational Problem related to medical or mental disorder
Other Relational Problem
There are life-stage issues we all need to navigate. Some of us move through these concerns with no problem. Other people struggle with one or more of these issues. Each of these can become a reason to see a counselor and they do not mean there is anything wrong with you.
Occupational Problem
Academic Problem
Acculturation Problem
Phase of life Problem
Religious or Spiritual Problem
Borderline Intellectual Functioning
People who injure others need treatment. Sometimes they are required to go for treatment and may even be made to pay for that treatment. Victims of abuse, neglect or violence get a special status in the DSM and their treatment is found under the 995.xx codes, which are almost always paid for by society. The person doing the abuse or neglect gets the “V” code and mostly has to pay for their own treatment. The categories of misbehavior towards others that may be the focus of treatment include:
Neglect of a child
Sexual Abuse of a child
Physical Abuse of a child
Physical Abuse of Adult
Sexual Abuse of Adult
The last group of things that may need attention but don’t get counted as full mental illnesses are things that people do, other than abuse or neglect, that we as a society do not like. This includes things like career criminals who know what they are doing but do the crime anyway. The term “Behavior” is used here to differentiate those who don’t know that what they are doing is wrong or can’t control themselves as in Antisocial Personality Disorder vs. those who know it is wrong and do it anyway, as in Antisocial Behavior. These items include:
Adult Antisocial Behavior
Child or Adolescent
All these things and many more may be good reasons to see a counselor or therapist even if you don’t have a diagnosable mental illness.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Sex?
Photo courtesy of pixabay.
Ethically this is never considered acceptable. If the client was a child we would report this as child sexual abuse. If they were adults they need to report this to the licensing board. In California, we have a nifty little book called “Professional Therapy Never Includes Sex.” We are supposed to keep this book handy and give it to anyone who tells us they had sex with a previous therapist. What they do about the situation is up to them.
One reason sex with patients is not considered acceptable is the trust clients put in their therapist to help them sort out emotions. Getting into a relationship other than the therapeutic one is likely to result in the therapist taking advantage of the client.
What to do about this situation generally is up to the client, not the new therapist. Laws could, of course, be different where you live but second relationships with clients are considered unethical most everywhere.
More on this is here and info on what counseling should be is at Counseling as a novel relationship.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Counseling questions.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Morning Question #17
YES! Sorry folks I know sometimes this is a pain.
If you are an intern say you are an intern. If you are a trainee say so. Once you say what you are, you may end up needing to spend some time explaining the designation. When people call me Dr. Miller I have to explain that I am a Therapist and Counselor and that I have a Master’s Degree, not a Ph.D.
People with a doctorate may be able to call themselves “Doctor” but they need to explain that they are Ph.D.’s or PsyD’s not medical doctors. In most places, Ph.D.’s can’t prescribe and we all need to help clients understand what we do and not mislead the public.
If this bothers you, go into something with a less rigorous code of ethics.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Drugs and alcohol are top men’s issues.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
What are Men’s issues and how are they different from the other issues that bring clients to counseling?
Men have issues. We are not talking about back copies of the swimsuit issues either. Men traditionally have avoided coming to counseling for those issues even when they really could have used some help. Men try to tough it out and cope without asking for help. That reluctance to come to see a counselor is changing. The result of this trend has been an increase in counselors who specialize in “Men’s issues.”
Men will spend thousands on a career counselor or a life coach to help them with jobs or business success but when it comes to relationships, children, and their own happiness and well-being, they have been slow to accept the need for assistance.
When I started in this profession, I was surprised to see relatively few men in the classes with me. There were few men counselors and very few men in treatment. The few men who did come to see a counselor were referred to treatment by a judge, parole, or probation.
When I worked as a substance abuse counselor there were lots of men. They predominate in treatment and in the profession when it comes to substance abuse, domestic violence, drunk driving, and similar issues. When it comes to social work or the therapy room the men disappear on both sides of the desk. Among clients, this is beginning to change as men realize the need for more resources in managing life’s problems.
Men report to me that they have felt like their role in the family was that of a prepaid debit card. They go out and make money which is placed at the disposal of their family. If they fail to earn enough they are likely to be discarded like a maxed-out credit card. Beyond the simple maintenance of their most basic needs, food, sex, and a few expensive toys, men were conditioned to think that they should not have feelings or weaknesses.
For a man to ask for help implies accepting failure. Men kept going even when injured emotionally until they could not keep going. The homeless veterans of past wars, tortured by the symptoms of PTSD, are a testimony to the way in which men that showed a weakness can be discarded. To ask for help with an emotion was tantamount to accepting failure.
This situation is changing and for good reason. Men are learning that to acknowledge feelings is not a sign of failure. To seek consultation for struggles with life’s problems is not weakness but wisdom.
More men than ever before are assuming the role of primary custodians of their children. They are moving into the areas of childrearing that once were the exclusive territory of women. Methamphetamine and other drug addiction have accelerated this trend as more women leave their children and run the streets. Some men step up and become Mr. Mom and Dad.
Men come to counseling for information on being a good parent. They want to know how to raise happy children and they want to know how to experience this happiness after the loss of their illusion that all they needed to do to make things come out right was to earn more money.
The major “men’s issues” continue to be the traditional issues of men forced to treatment by someone else with some new issues brought on by the changes in the American family and society.
The top “men’s issues” in my practice are:
1. Career
2. Achieving success
3. Fatherhood
4. Single parenthood
5. Maintain relationships with children after divorce or separation
6. Getting close and trusting others
7. Substance abuse
8. Anger management
9. Male sexual issues
10. Trauma
These Top Ten Men’s Issues have a lot in common with issues that bring women to therapy. The largest differences I see in the experiences are that women are a lot more attuned to the idea of working with and paying attention to their feelings. Women are schooled in expressing their feelings as a way to get relief from unpleasant experiences. Men tend to ignore feelings until overwhelm by them.
Men come to counseling looking to find solutions to their problems. What they may discover is that feelings are a valuable source of information that they will need to use to find the solution that is right for them and their relationships.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
By David Joel Miller.
Do therapists have to report a crime?
Picture courtesy of pixabay
The general answer is NO! The more you can talk to a therapist about the more likely you will be helped to change your behavior. Therapists have a legal and ethical duty to NOT repeat what you say. Any exceptions to that rule are determined by law. See my posts on “How Much Should You Tell a Therapist?” or “Why pay a therapist when you can just talk to a friend?”
So could a government somewhere make a law that the therapist had to report a crime? Sure could.
There are laws in many places that protect patient and psychotherapists communication, very similar to doctor and patient privilege. The relationship between a patient and a psychotherapist is held to be special, like that between a person and a religious priest.
The principle exceptions to not having to report crimes are, abuse of children, the elderly, and the disabled, (see – Does abuse of seniors and the elderly get reported?), and if you are suicidal or plan to kill someone else. Also if you are being investigated by homeland security we may have to report. As long as homeland security confines their investigations to known terrorists I am OK with this, as it falls under that duty to protect other intended victims. Some therapists have worried that this could be interpreted as needing information of a particular religion or political party and we would mostly be opposed to that sort of reporting.
Short answer: past crimes usually do not get reported, future and ongoing crimes like abuse or a plan to kill probably will be reported.
See also – How much should you tell a therapist?
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Therapist.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
There are three main reasons counselors lose their licenses and a few minor ones. Frankly, most Counselors who “lose” their licenses don’t actually lose it. Everything here about counselors also applies to psychotherapists, therapists, psychologists, and related professions in most places.
Remember that as serious as these reasons are, most, almost all, counselors do this kind of work because they want to help people. The FEW that get their licenses revoked is just that – a very small number.
If a counselor or therapist is accused of committing a serious offense the licensing board investigates. Should the accusation turn out to be true the license board “revokes” the license. That revocation can then be “stayed” meaning the license is not gone yet but the counselor has to do certain things to get the license cleared.
One thing they have to do is pay back the licensing board for the cost of the investigation and any fines or fees. Second, they have to go through classes or additional education. They will also need to work for a period of time under the supervision of another licensed counselor just like when they were an intern or trainee. The hardest part of all is the requirement that they tell each and every client they are being supervised and by whom.
Sometimes the counselor will decide to give up or surrender the license rather than go through all this.
The three biggest reasons for revocation of a license are:
This is never OK. Forget all those stories about falling in love with the therapist or teacher. Most of the time this happens because both people are having problems and the relationship is never one of two equals. For someone who has a position of authority to become sexual, betrays the client’s trust.
Frequently the counselor loses their license over this and then the relationship breaks up, creating two ruined lives. This has happened a lot with substance abuse clients and then the client relapses leaving the counselor out of work and in a relationship with a using addict.
In California we are required to have a copy of the book “Professional Therapy Never Includes Sex” with us whenever we counsel and give a copy to any client who says they had sex with a previous provider. This book is available free at the California Board of Behavioral Sciences website.
Most other states and countries have similar regulations. Check the website for the agency that licenses counselors in your jurisdiction.
This mostly means being arrested and often involves the use of drugs and alcohol. Since most counselors believe in recovery we like to see impaired professionals go for treatment. What is not good is for them to continue to see clients while using and drinking.
Counselors also get licenses revoked for committing crimes that result in jail or prison time.
The big dual relationship is number one – Sex with clients. But lots of counselors fall for number three also. Your therapist should not borrow money, get into a business deal or otherwise be involved in your finances other than to help you decide what to do. If they stand to make a buck on you for any reason other than the rate they charge per hour this is looking bad.
Mostly this involves a counselor billing public insurance for work they didn’t do or for way more time than they actually spent with the client. It is really suspicious if one counselor bills the state for a thousand dollars a month worth of work and another counselor bills – say twelve million. For a big lie like that, you get to lose your license, go to jail, and get the stupid person of the year award.
Remember the vast majority of counselors and therapists do NOT get their licenses revoked. The few professionals who do harm clients by doing the things that cost them their licenses make things bad for everyone, especially for their clients.
Hope that answered the question “Why counselors lose licenses” and helps people to find honest ethical help in their local area.
For more on this subject see:
5 Rules for Picking the Right Therapist
What to do if Therapy is not helping
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Counseling questions.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Sometimes counseling involves looking at painful things. Clients don’t like doing things that will hurt. I don’t like making them hurt either. I want them to have a happy life, not a pain-filled one. But sometimes the counselor needs to take you there if they are going to help you.
Clients come to see the therapist like an accident victim, they are covered in bruises. Handling them roughly just increases the pain for no good reason. No counselor should add to the client’s pain for the sake of “being honest” with them or getting them to face problems. But if your counselor wants you to heal, they made need to help you walk through the pain. Sometimes the burn victim needs the wounds cleaned if they are to heal even when the wound cleaning process makes them hurt.
The client’s life may be like an old refrigerator, full of things they should have thrown out a long time ago, things that smell and are messy. A good counselor helps you clean that stuff out. They aren’t horrified by the discolored things or the smelly ones. If the whole cleaning out process becomes too much we may need to leave some things untouched for a while until you are feeling well enough to let go of some more of the rotten things from your past.
If you have a wound, physical or emotional, it needs cleaning. It may hurt more if you leave it. Long untended wounds take the most effort to heal. You may not be up to feeling all that pain at once. Like peeling an onion you may need to work at your pain until you cry and then next time peel away another layer.
Doctors know when it is better to open up a wound, feel the pain, and then let that wound heal slowly from the inside out. A good counselor should be able to work with you on that type of emotional healing.
The beginning counselor may try to quickly cover up the pain, get you to look away and avoid the thing that could lead to your healing. I would love to end each session with a few words of encouragement, tell the client everything will be fine. I know sometimes that is not true. They need gentle honesty.
Often that one hour of therapy is the hour we operate on the longstanding pain. I see them for that one hour. The rest of the week that client has to carry that burden for 167 hours until I see them again. The real healing happens in that other time outside the therapy hour when the client heals slowly from the inside out without the burden of the memories that we have let out during our session.
Counseling doesn’t always need to hurt, sometimes we clear up confusion or we help clients talk through a choice in life. The kind of counseling where I get to teach new life skills or coach someone to improve their game of life, those make me happy.
But sometimes I know I need to sit with the client while they let out that pain from the past and begin their healing journey.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Therapist.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Longer answer: There is nothing special about the once a week, 50-minute hour, therapy session. Psychoanalysts often see clients twice a week or more. If you have a personality disorder, especially Borderline Personality Disorder, at least 2 to 3 times a week is recommended. Once to work on current problems, once to learn skills to avoid having more crisis type problems and more sessions as needed for addressing the past and long-term suffering.
In substance abuse, the preferred method of treatment is lots of sessions and meetings in the beginning, and then less as time goes on. Many programs begin with residential around the clock treatment to make quick gains followed by daily group sessions to consolidate the gains and lastly weekly follow-up sessions.
In Coaching or goal setting situations a single session may be all you need. That first session is sometimes followed by a booster session every so often.
Most of the time the number of sessions, frequency, and duration of treatment is determined by who is paying. Insurance may limit you. So might public funding. Court-ordered treatment may set a minimum. If you need more sessions your provider should be able to advocate for you and help you get what you need.
The more serious the illness the more treatment will be needed. For some conditions you will need to stay on medication for the rest of your life and that medication will need monitoring even when you discontinue therapy.
The question of how much, how often, and for how long are definitely things to discuss with your provider.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
counselorssoapbox 