Happiness secrets.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Happy faces

Happiness.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Ever wondered how some people can be so disgustingly happy?

Some people have a knack for being happy, come what may.

Life has its problems, but people who study happiness and become happiness experts discover some little secrets which they practice every day. Happiness experts will find the happiness even throughout life’s difficulties.

Here are some tips for increasing the happiness in your life

Like who you are.

Incurably happy people have come to accept themselves just the way they are. They work on improving themselves rather than focusing on any imperfections. The more you come to know yourself and accept yourself the happier you will be. Don’t try to live your life being someone else’s ideal person.

Do what you like.

Whether it’s a job or a hobby, spend your time on things you like. Pursue a career because it interests you. If you do what you like you will like what you do. People who are happy on their job, are frequently more successful. People hate their job rarely succeed.

Don’t judge others.

Avoid judging others. Be less judgmental, with yourself also. Other people won’t live up to your expectations. Humans are full of imperfections, just like you. The more severely you judge others, the more severely you will judge yourself. Harsh self-judgments take all the joy out of life. Judge others and yourself by what you do, not who you are.

Be honest.

Honest people don’t have to worry about being caught in a lie. Especially be honest with yourself. Being dishonest with yourself will make you happier. When you’re honest with yourself you will accept the things, you cannot change, and you will focus on improving the things that are within your power.

Be nice.

Be nice to others and to yourself. Being nice costs you little or nothing. Being miserable towards others makes you a miserable person. Don’t abuse yourself. The way you treat others becomes the model for the way you treat yourself. Be careful not to teach others to mistreat you.

Cooperate.

The more you cooperate with others, the less conflict you will have in your life. Happy people live lives free of unnecessary conflicts. The process of reaching goals is sometimes more important than the result. Strive each day to make the activities you do with others happy and cooperative.

Compete fairly.

There may be times in life when you can win a contest by cheating. If you must cheat to win, you will not feel very good about yourself. When you compete fairly, you can feel good about yourself, and feeling good about yourself should make you happy.

Laugh a lot.

Learn to laugh. Laugh at the funny things in life and especially learn to laugh at yourself. Do not take yourself too seriously. Laughter makes you happy.

Know who you are.

Having a clear understanding of who you are and who you are striving to become keeps you from being dependent on other people’s opinions of you. Happy people have a good sense of self.

Focus on the big stuff.

If you want to be happy, take inventory of your life and decide what’s important. Focus your time and your efforts on those things that matter most to you. Don’t waste your life on trivial things that don’t matter.

Hang out with happy people.

Remember the old saying misery loves company? You hang out with unhappy people tend to absorb that unhappiness. Spend as much time as possible with happy people. Whenever possible spread happiness as you go. The more happiness you give away, the more you will have.

Be spontaneous, go with the flow.

Happy people learn to adjust to things as they are. Don’t resist change. Learn to master change by riding the ups and downs. Become a life surfer.

Be curious.

The curious find pleasure in discovering something new. Strive to learn one new thing each day.

Be interested in others. Listen to them.

People who care about others increase the happiness in their life. More time you spend being interested in others the less time you will stay focused on your own problems.

Appreciate what you have.

One happiness secret is to enjoy what you do have. The more you focus on the gap between what you have and what you want the larger that gap will seem. In your focus on achievement don’t lose the enjoyment of what you already have. For maximum happiness, be satisfied with what you have while you work towards the future.

Stop comparing yourself.

You are not someone else. Others may look happy on the outside, but you have no idea what their pain or struggles may be. There will always be someone with more than you. Continually comparing yourself to others diminishes who you are. Accept yourself as you are while working to make you the best you possible.

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Daring.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Bold and brave

Daring.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Daring.

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”

― Helen Keller, The Open Door

“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”

― Robert F. Kennedy

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Scared.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Scary stuff

Scared.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Scared.

This is the time of year we scare ourselves about things that won’t happen, to take our minds off all the scary things that did happen the rest of the year.

― David Joel Miller

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”

― Eleanor Roosevelt

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.”

― John Wayne

“I tend to scare myself.”

― Stephen King

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Guilt.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Guilty

Guilt.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Guilt.

“Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.”

― Voltaire

“We gather our arms full of guilt as though it were precious stuff. It must be that we want it that way.”

― John Steinbeck

“To me, a wicked man who is also eloquent seems the most guilty of them all. He’ll cut your throat as bold as brass because he can dress up murder in handsome words.”

― Euripides, Medea

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Faithful.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Faithful dog

Faithful.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Faithful.

“Be faithful in small things because it is in them your strength lies.”

― Mother Teresa

“Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

“Faith consists in believing what reason cannot.”

― Voltaire, The Works: Voltaire

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Excited.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Exciting adventure.

Excited.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Excited.

“Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears.”

― Edgar Allan Poe

“Do not stop thinking of life as an adventure. You have no security unless you can live bravely, excitingly, imaginatively; unless you can choose a challenge instead of competence.”

― Eleanor Roosevelt, The Autobiography of Eleanor Roosevelt

“The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting”

― Andy Warhol

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Envy.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Envy

Envy.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Envy.

“Envy is ignorance,

Imitation is Suicide.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

“Unconsciously we all have a standard by which we measure other men, and if we examine closely we find that this standard is a very simple one, and is this: we admire them, we envy them, for great qualities we ourselves lack.

― Mark Twain

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.”

― Theodore Roosevelt

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Content.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Contentment

Content.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Content.

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.”

― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

“If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.”

― Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours..”

― Henry David Thoreau

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

How to stop overthinking.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Overthinking.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Overthinking is harmful to your mental health.

People who do a lot of overthinking, sometimes called rumination, increase their anxiety and their sadness. Unchecked overthinking, far from being helpful, can result in worry and leads to mental health issues such as anxiety disorders and depression. In overthinking your mind becomes your adversary, not your ally. If your mind is constantly turning things over and over and is wearing you out or if you find your overthinking has begun to interfere with your sleep and your relationships, it’s time to do something to put a stop to that overthinking.

If you suffer from overthinking here are some ways to get off that destructive path.

Notice when you overthink.

Overthinking can become an insidious habit. Become aware of when you are feeling distressed or anxious. The first step in getting overthinking out of your life is to become aware of how frequently you are overthinking. Avoid the trap of overthinking your overthinking.

Practice thought stopping.

When a child is doing something, they shouldn’t, we tell them to “knock that off.” When your mind starts taking you into bad neighborhoods, tell that mind to “stop that.” Another technique for stopping negative thoughts is to shift your focus to something positive. Search your memory for the happiest event in your life or imagine a happy event. When your brain begins to overthink possible negative occurrences, tell it to move to the positive.

Focus on the things that are likely to happen.

Most worry and overthinking is the result of an excessive focus on things that might or could happen but are very unlikely. Don’t spend large amounts of time thinking about things that are unlikely to happen. Most of the things we worry about never happen. Overthinking low probability events distracts you from dealing with the things that need doing today to prevent problems in the future.

Become a happiness expert.

Overthinking makes you an expert on unhappiness. Having a laser focus on what could go wrong obscures your vision of what could go right. People who are high in anxiety and depression develop a cognitive bias towards the negative. They don’t see the positive in their lives, and when they do they discount it. Notice small positive events in your life. When something good happens, don’t blink right away. Continue to look at and think about those positive, happy occurrences.

Avoid perfection paralysis.

Frequently people who are high in overthinking consider themselves perfectionists. An excessive focus on perfection can leave you paralyzed. Pursue excellence. Try to become the best person possible, but avoid an emphasis on absolute perfection. Whatever you achieve should be valued.

Accept yourself as you are.

Failure to accept yourself, as you are, leads to a lot of unhappiness. However, you are, is perfectly acceptable. Acceptance values how far you have come. If you spend all your time looking for flaws you will miss your unique, individual qualities. Acceptance of yourself, others as they are, and the world the way it is rather than insisting that people places, and things must be the way you want them to be will increase your happiness and reduce your anxiety-provoking overthinking.

Inventory what you have not what’s missing.

Our society today, with its emphasis on the lifestyles of the rich and famous, has resulted in a lot of people believing their life is missing something. Constantly thinking about what’s missing from your life robs you of the enjoyment of the things you do have. When your focus is on keeping up with the Trumps, you will never have enough. When you adopt an attitude of gratitude, you can enjoy the people and the things you do have rather than grieve over your lack of those things that others have.

Take the long view.

Overthinking takes the short view. The focus is on what’s lacking now, the problems of today. Ask yourself what difference today’s problem will make 20 years from now? How about 50 years from now? When you start focusing on where you want to be in the future the problems of today shrink and become insignificant.

Reframe the scary as exciting.

Before an athletic contest, teams try to psych themselves up. If you expect to be beaten badly, it will take all the energy out of your performance. Worry about failing a test is likely to result in lower scores. Go into life’s adventures expecting them to be exciting and regardless of what you do you can have fun. Focusing on the scary parts of life prevents you from ever-living.

Get into action.

A great way to overcome overthinking is to get into action. Stop ruminating about what could go wrong and start doing. Some of what you do today will be the great memories you will be storing up for the future.

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Bored.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Bored.

Bored.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Bored.

“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”

― Frank Zappa

“I warn you, if you bore me, I shall take my revenge.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien

“Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.”

― Bill Gates

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

“Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?”

― Friedrich Nietzsche