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Learning About Alcohol Video 8- Alcohol Use Disorders
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Do you have friends who are fake friends?
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Fake Friends?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com’
Some friendships are very conditional.
When things are going well, you’re likely to have many friends, but once things get tough, those friends disappear. When you’re throwing the party, they are there, when it comes time for the cleanup those friends have vanished. When your life is working, these friends want to be associated with you, but when times get hard, they moved on.
One article I read described these folks as “Clear weather friends.” When life is sunny, you see this person, but the first raindrop washes them away. There are many names for these people, fake friends, pretend friends, Fairweather friends, clear weather friends, unreliable friends. Underneath all their pretensions they want something from you, but they’re not willing to reciprocate.
It’s tempting to put up with these fair-weather friends thinking that without them they would have no friends. When you feel lonely, you may be tempted to settle for fair-weather friends. The worst form of loneliness is caused by poor quality relationships rather than by having too few relationships. So how can you spot these fair-weather friends?
Fairweather friends are never wrong.
Their motto is “I’m right; everyone should be able to see that.” If you’re afraid to disagree with them for fear of losing a friend, that’s a fake friend. When they let you know that you must always agree with them to keep their friendship, what you have is a fake friend, not a BFF.
When problems arise, you can’t tell Fairweather friends.
Fake friends expect you to listen to all their problems, but when your troubles come they don’t want to hear about it. They especially don’t want to hear when you have a problem with them. While they expect you to be empathetic toward their issues when you talk about your difficulties, their answer is, “you need to get over it.”
With Fairweather friend’s criticism is a one-way St.
Fairweather friends feel free to criticize you. They may preface the comments with the statement “I’m just being honest.” But their honesty always consists of telling you what’s wrong with you. They have no problem pointing out your every flaw. What a fake friend can’t take is anything remotely like you criticizing them.
You must always agree with fake friends.
Fake friends will tell you that “If you disagree with me about that there’s something wrong with you. I write, I know I’m right.” Rather than sympathy and understanding when challenged, they always attack. With Fairweather friends, it’s not possible to agree to disagree. They will always insist on being right and on your agreeing with as a condition of keeping their friendship.
Fake friends enjoy criticizing you.
Fairweather friends enjoy telling you what’s wrong with you. Rather than building you up, they tear you down to make themselves feel better. If you have a friend, and every time you’re with them, you come away from that visit feeling worse than when it started, good chance you’ve identified a pretend friend.
Fake friends are not empathetic.
Fairweather friends don’t want to hear about how you feel. How you feel is not important to them. They may even tell you that you shouldn’t feel that way. When you’re upset, you’re likely to hear, “Stop being so emotional.” They dismiss your feelings. But these Fairweather friends have no problem burdening you with their miseries. When it comes to conflicts, fair-weather friends will tell you, “If it upsets you, it is your problem.”
Why don’t you believe me, if I said it then it’s true?
Fake friends have the belief that if they say something, that makes it true. They expect you to believe what they say even when all the evidence contradicts their statement. They like to say, “Why don’t you believe me, would I lie to you?”
I don’t want to talk about it.
Pretend friends avoid discussing difficult topics. When problems arise in the friendship, they want to sweep everything under the rug and pretend it’s all your fault. Lack of openness is a characteristic of fake friends.
You will find related posts under – friends, Relationships, and Loneliness.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Prosperity.
Prosperity.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Sunday Inspiration. Post by David Joel Miller.
“Prosperity is only an instrument to be used, not a deity to be worshipped.”
― Calvin Coolidge
“We should not forget that it will be just as important to our descendants to be prosperous in their time as it is to us to be prosperous in our time.”
― Theodore Roosevelt
“If the human race wishes to have a prolonged and indefinite period of material prosperity, they have only got to behave in a peaceful and helpful way toward one another.”
― Winston Churchill
Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.
Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.
Learning About Alcohol Video Part 7
Part 7. Learning About Alcohol – the drinking experience.
One person drinks and becomes happy, another person drinks and becomes angry. Alcohol won’t affect the same way every time you drink. What are some of the factors that affect the drinking experience?
Self-care is more than playing hooky.
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Self-care.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Don’t confuse self-care with trips to the spa or vegetating.
When you hear the term self-care, do you think pampering? There’s a lot more to self-care than scented candles or taking an extra day off. Human beings are complicated. We need to take care of both our physical bodies and our emotional lives. Examine the various aspects of your life and make sure you are including self-care in everything you do.
Car care doesn’t involve letting the car sit in the driveway. A car that isn’t driven slowly deteriorates. If you’re not challenging yourself, you’re not growing. Include forward motion, moving towards goals as part of your self-care. Self-care may also consist of a life makeover.
Self-care includes increasing your self-confidence by tackling challenges.
Self-care includes training for that marathon or writing that novel, maybe both. When people age, the major regrets they have are often for the things they didn’t do. I’ve never heard anybody say they regretted not spending more days sitting on the couch. I have heard people say they always wanted to learn a foreign language or finish a college degree.
Self-care needs to include self-improvement.
Stretch yourself both physically and mentally. Join a gym or take up exercising. Take up a hobby. Sign up for that class, whether it’s in person or online. Anything that requires effort on your part can also bring emotional rewards. Do things you can check off on your list of life goals. Look here for more information about making self-care a part of your self-improvement program.
Do something at the edge of your comfort zone.
Avoiding things that make you uncomfortable may feel like you’re protecting yourself from anxiety, but if you avoid that anxiety for very long, your comfort zone will continue to shrink. Self-care can include challenging herself to do things that feel just a little uncomfortable or scary.
Self-care includes getting rid of things that are holding you back.
Eliminate the things that are holding you down. Trying to do too many things results in not getting anything done. Self-care includes giving up activities that you’re doing because you “have to” not because you want to. Pulling out the weeds allows room for the plants to grow. Eliminating unnecessary activities allows you to grow.
Cut the toxic people out of your life.
Examine your relationships. If your relationships can be improved, put the work in. The people you spend time will influence the way you feel. If someone in your life is dealing with a mental health challenge, then encourage them to get help. Eliminate negative people from your life where possible. If there are negative people you absolutely must deal with, try to limit the time you spend with them.
Doing less accomplishes more.
Businesses periodically take an inventory, and they get rid of the things on the shelves that take up space but don’t contribute to making a profit. It’s a good practice to inventory your life periodically. Eliminate as many of those needless activities as possible so that you free up time to spend on the important things. Stop spending so much time reading emails and spend a little time unsubscribing to the mailing lists that don’t bring your life any benefits.
Reevaluating your goals is a part of self-care.
Don’t be the person lost in the woods wandering around in circles. Don’t waste your life pursuing goals that don’t matter. Time spent getting clear on your values and deciding whether what you are doing is taking you towards the goals you really want to reach is time well spent. Don’t waste time pursuing goals that are no longer meaningful to you.
Self-care includes time spent maintaining your body.
Sleep is not a waste of time. It is an essential ingredient in self-care. Your body has a natural rhythm. While people vary slightly in their need for sleep, if you’re not meeting your body’s need, your lack of sleep will increase negative emotions like depression, anxiety, and irritability. Getting plenty of sleep will make for a happier, healthier you.
Include a healthy diet in your self-care.
A healthy diet doesn’t have to be bland and boring. Occasional indulgence makes life more fun. Try to include a lot of healthy food in your diet, so the occasional splurge doesn’t become your regular diet.
How will you go about improving the self-care you do in every part of your life?
Recommended Mental Health Books
David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Service.
Service.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Service.
Sunday Inspiration. Post by David Joel Miller.
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.”
― Barack Obama
“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.”
― Carl Gustav Jung
Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.
Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.
Free Self Help Book – Bumps on the Road of Life
By David Joel Miller.
Bumps on the Road of Life – Will is free one day only – today 6/26/19
The Kindle edition the self-help book Bumps on the Road of Life is free today only 6/26/19.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Learning About Alcohol Video 6 Acute Effects
Alcohol has both acute and long-term effects on the body. This video explores the immediate short-term effects on the body.
Excoriation (skin picking) L98.1
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Scab or skin picking?
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Sometimes skin picking is a mental health problem.
Excoriation, also known as skin picking, is included in the DSM-5 in the chapter on Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders. Excoriation is one of those unusual crossover kinds of disorders. Sort of a medical problem, but also a mental health issue. Most mental health disorders have either an F or a Z code.
What is Excoriation (skin picking?)
To meet the criteria for this disorder, the skin picking must be both recurrent and must result in visible skin lesions. People with skin picking disorder often spend a lot of time in this activity, and it made go on for years. The picking is commonly done with fingernails, but it may be done by using tools or instruments. While skin picking can take place anywhere on the body, is most often done on the face, the arms, or the hands. Some people try to hide the results of picking under clothing.
OCD mental health part involves attempts to control, reduce, or stop the picking.
Like other mental health diagnoses, the skin picking needs to impair social relationships, school or job function, interfere with other important activities, or be very upsetting to the person doing the picking. Skin picking often occurs in response to negative feelings. Excoriation can be triggered by unpleasant emotions and may be used to manage uncomfortable feelings.
Excoriation is reported much more commonly in females. Some reports estimate the rate of Excoriation at between one and two percent of the population. It is common for those with Excoriation Disorder to also have other OCD related disorders.
Excoriation is not the same thing as “Meth” or “Coke” bugs.
The kind of picking you commonly see among drug users is the result of abuse of stimulant drugs. Stimulant drugs create the sensation the bugs are crawling on the skin. If the user quits doing the drugs, the feeling of bugs crawling on the skin, he goes away. Long-term methamphetamine or cocaine users may have picked at their skin so much that there is permanent scarring.
What else could Excoriation (skin picking) be?
Before someone gets this diagnosis, medical causes and effects of drugs or other substances must be ruled out. If the picking is the result of a psychotic disorder or body dysmorphic, a stereotypic movement disorder, or is intentional, the picking gets diagnosed as part of these other disorders.
There are some similarities between Skin Picking Disorder and non-suicidal self-injury, also known as “cutting.” Nonsuicidal self-injury is currently considered a symptom of borderline personality disorder, but it continues to be studied and may one day be recognized as a separate disorder.
As of now, Skin Picking Disorder is recognized as a specific disorder that may coexist with other conditions. If you or someone you know has symptoms of Excoriation (skin picking), you need to get medical attention. If those urges to skin pick are being triggered by feelings, seeing a therapist could help.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Learning About Alcohol Video Part 5 Alcohol and the Body
How does alcohol move through the body, and how is it broken down?
counselorssoapbox 