By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Writing.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
If you’re one of those people who has memorized the entire Code of Federal Regulations section on proper punctuation, you probably have little sympathy for my proclivity for loose relationships with punctuation.
I will plead guilty to abusing commas and neglecting my hyphens, but with an explanation.
I grew up without a good role model for punctuation. What I know about her I learned on the streets from certain undesirable types who use punctuation purely for oral communication. I learned early, that people who came from proper punctuation homes followed a certain code. But when you learn your punctuation for use in ordinary conversation, you’re likely to ignore some of the punctuation etiquettes.
Someone who is effective as a public speaker inserts frequent pauses for dramatic effect. The resulting (pregnant pause) often is in no way related to (pause) the proper use of Miss Comma. If you’re used to the looser variety of commas, you would prefer that they spoke plainly, telling you what they mean rather than hiding behind a fan of proper punctuation rules.
I find it disconcerting, when reading aloud the text of the speech that someone gave, to encounter Miss Commas smiling face in places where the speaker would never have permitted her while eschewing to allow that same Miss Comma to continue to maintain her ongoing relationship with that person’s speech. I realize that proper punctuation is all the rage these days. I prefer my punctuation to be plain-speaking, saying what she means and meaning what she says rather than hiding behind her cousins, dashes, colons, and semicolons.
No matter how much the dictates of fashion might change, my taste seems unchangeably fixed. Despite the current proclivity towards severely underweight women, I continue to prefer women with a little meat on their bones. Likewise, despite frequent opportunities to date some of these newer punctuation marks, I would rather spend my sentences was several commas than to engage in a dalliance with even a single frivolous dash.
I trust you will forgive an old man for this philosophical digression.
You’ll find more posts on this topic under – Writing.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
How to tell when drug and alcohol use is a problem? How do professionals diagnose Substance Use Disorders? Today’s video looks at the topic of identifying drug and alcohol problems.
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Therapist.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Many people avoid going to the doctor as if seeing a doctor would be the cause of their illness. Avoiding counseling, in one form or another, is even more common than avoiding medical treatment.
Most people who put the effort into counseling see improvement in their lives. Here are some of the reasons people commonly say they are avoiding therapy.
Not at all. Going for treatment does not mean you’re weak or giving into your symptoms. What it does say is that you are willing to face your problems. We used to think that there were two kinds of people, normal people, and the mentally ill. We now know that being mentally healthy requires more than a lack of illness. The things we call mental illnesses are treatable. Facing your problems reduces their impact on your life.
The fear of being diagnosed as mentally ill is a throwback to the days when there wasn’t an effective treatment for mental illnesses. Our system of care used to be designed to try to immediately cure people. If you break a leg, a doctor can set it. When we didn’t have effective treatments for mental illness being diagnosed meant there was no hope.
Today we know that there are talk therapies that have been shown to be effective in curing some mental illnesses. Even those that can’t be cured can be made substantially better. Seeking treatment for a mental health challenge does not mean you’re weak. It says you are acting to make your mental life healthier and happier.
Highly successful athletes still have coaches. My view of counseling is that it should function in a similar way to coaching. The goal should be more than merely detecting what’s wrong with you. It should also entail finding solutions to your life problems so that you can have a happy, productive life.
In the same way that a baseball player or a golfer can’t see their own swing, many people can’t see the unhelpful thoughts. A counselor can help you with other ways to look at your problems and help you learn the skills to overcome life’s difficulties.
One significant difference between counseling and life coaching is the professional counselors and therapists are specially trained in diagnosing and treating mental illness. In most places, they are also licensed. While some life coaches can help you work on becoming more successful professional counselors can help you with the depression or anxiety that is interfering with your life.
Counselors are committed to keeping what you talk about with them confidential. Outside of a few legal exceptions, such as plans to kill yourself or others and abuse of children and the elderly, what you are going to talk to the counselor about will not leave the consulting room. Questions about what is and is not confidential and what counselors would keep confidential is one of the most common reasons people visit the counselorssoapbox.com blog. For more about confidentiality, please look at the posts under Law and Ethics.
Talking about your problem could be embarrassing. During their career, counselors hear a substantial number of secrets. Chances are your counselor has heard something remarkably like what you’re about to tell them. They’ve also studied the kinds of problems to bring people to counseling.
Counselors try to approach people empathetically, being able to mentally put themselves into the client situation. They also try to practice unconditional positive regard. Regardless of your problem or what you have done in the past, the counselor wants to see the best in you and try to help you change and become a better person. It’s not the counselor’s job to judge you.
Some life problems are more difficult to treat than others. Talk therapy can help even those people with the most severe mental illnesses to improve the quality of their lives. Many people are surprised to find how much their problems are like the problems of others around them. I believe that while some mental illnesses can’t be cured, all of them can be managed. Recovery from mental illnesses just like recovery from addiction and alcoholism is possible.
Overnight successes are often the result of years of struggle and practice. Medication can help you manage your symptoms, but it won’t eliminate all your problems. Quick fixes like drugs and alcohol can distract you from your life problems for a while, but eventually, they quit working and living with an even more serious problem called addiction.
Counseling for mental health challenges is often covered by insurance. Even if you had to pay out-of-pocket, you should compare the cost of getting counseling with the costs you incur trying to solve the problem with other methods.
Couples sometimes think they can fix the relationship with a romantic weekend somewhere. They spend thousands of dollars on that trip but then tell me they can’t afford to come for marriage counseling. The cost of marriage counseling is substantially less than the price of obtaining a divorce.
Compare what you will spend in time and money to get a two-year or four-year college degree. Education is an investment in yourself. If your mental or emotional problems prevent you from being successful in school or in life, all that effort and money will have been wasted. Investing in your mental health is one of your best investment opportunities.
When you’re deep in life’s problems, it’s hard to see how things could get better. Counselors are trained to help people overcome life’s difficulties. If you’ve lost hope, the counselor may help you get it back. If it feels like nothing you’ve done in your life has worked may be working with the counselor can help you find the things that will work.
It’s easy to move through life thinking that your problems are where you live. People tell me that they can only move somewhere else then they would be happy. When I asked him why they don’t do it, they give me all kinds of reasons why they must stay where they are and be miserable.
Wherever you are, whatever work you are doing and whoever you are in a relationship with you are responsible for your own feelings. Counseling can help you learn how to make the best out of where you are and how to decide when it’s time for a change.
People often believe that their problems are someone else’s fault. If that person would only change they could be happy, or maybe only less depressed and anxious. Counseling can’t change that other person, but it can help you improve your thinking and behavior. Sometimes if you change the way your living your life, the other person will change. Even when you can’t change others, you can find ways to reduce the impact they’re having on your life.
Have you been telling yourself you need to talk to somebody about your problem? What’s holding you back from finally taking responsibility for your life and seeking out the help you need to create the most effective life possible?
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Boldness.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Boldness.
Sunday Inspiration. Post by David Joel Miller.
“Freedom lies in being bold.”
― Robert Frost
“They did not know it was impossible, so they did it.”
― Mark Twain
“Boldness be my friend.”
― William Shakespeare
Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.
Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.
By David Joel Miller, Writer.
Writing.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Planned Accidents cover
As some of you are aware, I spent the month of November participating in the NaNoWriMo (the National Novel Writing Month) contest. This event is the fourth time I have attempted this and the third time I have succeeded in completing a first draft of a novel in one month.
Participating in the contest has taught me a great deal about writing a novel. What I’m struggling with now, even more than writing a novel, is the process of revision, trying to turn that first rough draft into something worth publishing. I would like to share with you some of the challenges I’m experiencing in revision, but first a little background.
Planned Accidents is the second in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series. Arthur’s adventures began in the book Casino Robbery. After the financial crisis in 2008 Arthur Mitchell, accountant, gave up working at Fantastic Finance to take what he thought would be a safe and stable job working as an accountant for a Las Vegas casino. Arthur was trying to avoid anything risky. What Arthur hadn’t expected was to be in the middle of taking his fiancée to lunch when the casino was robbed. During the robbery, the criminals shot Arthur and killed his fiancée.
Because of the robbery, Arthur developed a severe case of PTSD. Unable to return to work Arthur opened a small thrift and collectible store on a rural Highway between Las Vegas and Utah. Unfortunately for Arthur, it turned out that as being shot wasn’t accidental, someone had wanted him dead, and he was pulled into investigating the robbery. Arthur became both an amateur and an accidental sleuth.
Arthur has settled into running his thrift store, thinking the danger is behind him, when someone begins contacting the former employees at Fantastic Finance demanding money. First one and then another of Arthur’s former colleagues dies in mysterious accidents. At least that’s what the police think they are. Arthur’s not so sure any of this is accidental.
I started this novel with the working title Planning Accidents. What I found, as I wrote was that talking too much about planning the accidents took the focus off my hero Arthur and started me writing more about the people who could be planning these accidents. To shift the focus back on to Arthur and how he is drawn into investigating these supposed accidents, I’ve decided to change the title to Planned Accidents.
As I began my revision in January, I discovered I had included a lot of events that had nothing to do with Planned Accidents. Several times in the first draft I had Arthur buy some limited-edition lithographs. When Arthur inspects the lithographs, he discovers he has two copies of the same piece of art both with the same serial number. Somebody has been counterfeiting works of art and selling them directly to collectors. Once Arthur purchases the art from those collectors, the fraud becomes apparent.
Of course, the counterfeiters don’t want to be caught, and they make life extremely dangerous for Arthur Mitchell, as in they try to kill him. Once I realized this whole subplot had nothing to do with the Planned Accidents I pulled out the discovery of the duplicate lithographs and left that for Arthur to encounter in mystery number three or maybe even number four.
One of the lots Arthur buys at an estate sale includes a bunch of letters an elderly lady had written to a police detective which were returned to her unopened. The author of the letters wrote to the detective describing a murder she had witnessed. Again, I discovered I had another crime for Arthur to investigate but trying to send him in that direction while he is trying to avoid being killed by someone who is planning his accidental death just mucked up the plot a little much. I pulled out all the material about the discovery of the letters from the witness, and I’ll save that for another Arthur Mitchell mystery. Once I get Planned Accidents finished, I think I want to start on this mystery, currently with the working title of “Letters from the Dead.” I think once we start opening the letters we will find the elderly lady witnessed more than one shocking crime.
In the revision process, I struggle to decide whether I have written too much description or when there are insufficient details. I read a lot of other fiction, particularly in the amateur sleuth category. Occasionally I’m impressed by some extraordinarily brilliant description that produces a vivid image in my brain. More often though, when I reach long passages of description, I find myself speeding up, skimming over the description.
I am starting to feel like description, at least in an amateur sleuth mystery, is like spices in a stew. A little bit of spice, especially chili powder, can enhance the dish. But I don’t want my novel to resemble my stew, the time I accidentally dumped in a whole jar of chili powder.
I have an idea. If any of you readers would like to read draft two of “Planned Accidents” sign up for my mailing list or use the contact form and when it’s ready, I’ll send you an advanced reviewer copy of “Planned Accidents” and you can tell me if I’ve included too much or too little description. Of course, other feedback would be helpful also.
Something else I have been fixing as I’m working on draft number two is sorting out the role of Arthur’s dog Plutus. Plutus was important in the Casino Robbery book because he had belonged to Arthur’s fiancé’s Janet. In this mystery number two, Plutus kept turning up in various chapters but not doing much. As I revised, it became plain that Plutus unquestionably has a part to play in this story. Since Plutus helped Arthur solve the first mystery, I think I should put him to work helping to solve mystery number two and beyond.
There are some early thoughts about my revision project. I’ll share more with you in the future.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Why do people use drugs? Is drug use good or bad? In this video, we look at how drug use might progress from initial experimentation to a severe use disorder or addiction. We also examine some other drug-connected problems.
Quotes from Martin Luther King, Jr.
Today we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
The time is always right to do what is right.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Wanted to share some thought-provoking quotes with you.
Today seemed like a good time to do this.
Awareness.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Awareness.
Sunday Inspiration. Post by David Joel Miller.
“Awareness requires living in the here and now, and not in the elsewhere, the past or the future.”
― Eric Berne, Games People Play
“If, then, I were asked for the most important advice I could give, that which I considered to be the most useful to the men of our century, I should simply say: in the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.”
― Leo Tolstoy, Essays, Letters and Miscellanies
“I have often reflected upon the new vistas that reading has opened to me. I knew right there in prison that reading had changed forever the course of my life. As I see it today, the ability to read awoke inside me some long dormant craving to be mentally alive.”
― Malcolm X
Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.
Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.
Humans have a long history of using drugs. Drugs have many connections to our history here in the United States. This brief drug history video explores the history of drugs.
counselorssoapbox 