Tag Archives: Emotions

How to tame and train emotions and feelings.

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Man with feelings

Managing feelings.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

3 step process for making feelings a part of your recovery.

There was a time, back in the Victorian days when feelings were suspect and the goal was to stop feeling and to think logically. This approach has resulted in feelings and intuition getting a bad name.

If you have struggled with an emotional or mental illness, say depression or anxiety, it is hard to keep in mind that in smaller doses that anxiety or sadness could have been your friend. A little bit of anxiety can keep you safe in dangerous situations. But if that anxiety beast has gotten unruly, you need to get them back to being well-behaved.

People who have abused substances, taken drugs or drank to help them be less anxious will find their emotions have gotten out of control like a house full of unruly children when the parents are away. Using alcohol to sleep or to not feel leaves you exhausted the next day and beyond.

Feelings can tell you things, provide you with the information you need if only you are willing to listen to them. If you grew up around others that did not pay attention to feelings, yours or theirs, or pretended they did not have feelings, you may be at a disadvantage when it comes to managing your emotions.

Learning to manage your emotions, feel what you need to feel but not let your emotions take over complete control of you requires you to develop a better relationship with your feelings.

Here are the three basic steps to learning to make peace with your emotions

Step One – Recognize that you are feeling.

Many people are accustomed to ignoring their emotions. Whether you are recovering from depression, anxiety, substance abuse, or any other life problem the first step to integrating feelings into your new recovered life is to become aware that you are feeling something.

Our bodies hold on to emotional feelings even when the mind is trying to ignore them. If you say that someone is a pain in the neck, check your neck. If your stomach is upset, look inside to see if there is someone or something “making you sick to your stomach.”

These body sensations are your nervous system’s way of telling you that something is wrong. Remember that you have lots of nerve cells outside your brain. One estimate places the number of nerve cells outside that brain at over fifty percent. You have nerve cells throughout your body for many reasons. One of those reasons is to convey information, especially emotional information, to the brain.

Learn to recognize that you are feeling something. Look for where in the body that feeling is staying. What physical sensations do you feel? Does this rev you up or shut you down.

Step Two – Name that feeling.

When you do not have a word for something it is more difficult to think about that item. To learn to make emotions your friends you need to learn their names. There is a lot of difference between being sad and being angry. Learn to recognize what you feel when you feel it and then name that feeling.

When you first enter a new field you do not have the vocabulary to talk about that field. New on a job you may find the old-timers see and react to things you had not noticed. As you get more familiar with things you learn their names and you respond more readily.

For an example of this take a look at my difficulties in understanding what a friend was talking about when I knew nothing about her area of interest. In this example, I could not remember or talk about something because I did not know enough about it to recognize it when I saw it.

What purple glass? Memory and the expert effect

Step Three – Apply your feeling change tools.

Once you recognize that you are feeling something, are able to describe where in your body you are feeling it, and then are able to name that feeling, you are well on your way to learning how to manage that feeling.

There are all sorts of feeling management tools. Many people are required to attend an anger management class because they never learned to follow these steps. If you just suddenly find yourself furiously angry then you are at a loss to know what to do about that anger once you have it. But if you learn to recognize that anger is coming on and how it is affecting you, there are all kinds of tools you can use to avoid excess anger and to manage that anger once it arrives.

Tools that are used for anger management work, most of the time, when they are applied to other feelings. One of the early stage feeling management tools is the process I have described above. Learn to recognize that you have feelings, identify what that feeling is, and then decide how you will respond.

Other emotional regulation tools include cognitive tools, changing your thinking and behavioral tools, physical things you can do to manage emotions. For more on tools to manage feelings look at other blog posts here on counselorssoapbox.com and keep an eye out for my book, in progress, which is nearing completion.

Move your feelings from out of control to friends.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

How many feelings do you feel? The feelings problem

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Man with feelings

Managing feelings.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Do you let yourself feel too much or too little?

Two types of feelings problems cause people distress.

Some people feel too much. Excesses of fear and sadness keep them from having the happy life they want. Other people have an insatiable appetite for pleasure. They overindulge, damage their relationships, and suffer the consequences. They act impulsively and then regret the result but they tell me they can’t stop themselves even when they try.

Other people tell me they can’t feel anything. They are numb, cut off from their emotions. They don’t know what they feel even when they are feeling it. The numbness robs them of the chance for happiness.

How many feelings are there?

The list of feeling words is immense. Psychologists have looked for ways to make this understandable and have constructed shorter lists of primary feelings. These lists typically include 7 to 11 basic feelings.

1. Joy

2. Interest

3. Surprise

4. Fear (anxiety)

5. Anger

6. Sadness

7. Disgust

All of these feelings have survival value at times. Joy and interest might stimulate us to find and eat food. Fear could help us avoid a man-eating animal. Not everyone experiences these feelings in the same way. We could lump the emotions of fear, anxiety, nervousness, scared, or uncomfortable together. Experience has shown me that teenagers will deny feeling any fear but may have a sizable list of things that make them nervous or uncomfortable.

Individual variation

Not everyone experiences the same event by feeling the same emotion. One person may see a tornado and experience fear, another sadness and a third may experience interest and becomes a storm chaser. Past experience, beliefs about the event, and genetics may all play a role in how we perceive an event.

Negative and Positive Emotions

It may be easier at times to think of feelings as either negative or positive. The seven feelings could be separated into positive and negative lists. Hundreds of other feeling words might be added to the lists as variations or shades of these feelings. We could also use certain words to describe combinations of feelings or the co-occurrence for two feelings at the same time.

Joy, Interest, and Surprise are frequently seen as positive, though too much interest in certain things gets diagnosed as a mental illness if it interferes with your life. Fear or anxiety, anger, sadness, and disgust would form the core negative feelings. Research clearly indicates that while positive feelings are relatives and negative feelings come from the same family there are perceived differences between the feelings on each list.

The gender gap

Men in counseling often report having only three feelings, good, bad, or pissed-off. Women often have very differentiated feelings pallets. Men say Red, Yellow, or Blue, maybe purple. Women talk about things being Wisteria, Fuchsia, Lilac, Plum, and so on. Women typically have more feeling words and they understand the labels differently than most men.

Sometimes this feelings situation is reversed and the woman may report mostly being “numb” or disconnected while the man wants her to be able to express more of her feelings.

We learn our feelings from others

There was a time when expressing feeling was not appropriate. People were expected to be gigantic mechanical creatures who never expressed anything. To have feelings was to give in to the flesh. So some generations grew up unable to express how they feel and experiencing regret if feelings ever leaked out.

Many men remain unable to express feelings appropriately. They “suck it up” and go forward even when it would have been appropriate to show some emotion. The result is that unable to express emotions men lose the ability to name what they are feeling and as a result of not being able to categorize feelings and learn appropriate responses they may do nothing until overwhelmed.

So the feelings that are kept bottled up and unrecognized come exploding out under anger or alcohol. These people, disconnected from their feelings, are forced to reconnect when in anger management class or marriage counseling.

When feelings can protect you

Some feelings are protective. That feeling in your gut that tells you this is dangerous, that feeling we sometimes call intuition is meant to protect you from harm. People who don’t feel anything lose the assistance of feelings that tell you this is something you should not do or that is something good you need to get in on. Courage is not the lack of fear, pretending this is not dangerous. It is the ability to fully feel and appraise the situation, but to take action even in the presence of a real danger.

Positive feelings can help create and expand friendships and working relationships. Negative feelings can warn you to avoid dysfunctional relationships and abusive situations. People who use feeling as sources of information lead happier and more productive lives.

Do you feel your feelings? Are feelings your friends or do they cause you problems?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

m.

Why Blaming, Scolding and Criticizing don’t work

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Why blaming, scolding, and criticizing don’t work.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Ways to tame the blaming, scolding, and criticizing.

We all know someone who relies on these techniques and we know that these methods of communicating don’t make us want to do what they are asking. In many families, this becomes the primary way in which people communicate even when the person doing the blaming knows they don’t like the feeling of being on the receiving end of this sort of communication.

You can recognize someone doing these behaviors easily, but recognizing when you are doing them and changing to more effective behaviors takes some effort and practice. Responding to a scolder with scolding does not solve the problem. It only further escalates the conflict.

Blaming as communication.

Blaming is one of the three “communication stances” described by Virginia Satir, one of the founders of family therapy, and others of her colleagues. She describes people as communicating in three basic ways – Blaming, Placating, and congruent communications.

Blaming is the looking down on other’s stance, it includes all sorts of putting the person you are talking to down and making them “less than.”

Placating communication scrambles the message.

Placating might be described as the “victim stance.” We see puppies take this stance when they roll over and expose their bellies. Children will cower when yelled at. Placating says I give in. It says nothing about agreeing.

Congruent communication.

Congruent communication is the preferred mode in which people talk to each other as equals. Congruent communication does not look for whose fault it is that things are out of whack. the goal here is understanding.

Criticizing sabotages communication.

Criticizing has been described as attacking the person, not the action you want to change. Scolding includes a range of behaviors, verbal and physical that is designed to make the person being scolded “smaller” and the scolder feels more powerful and in control.

Some authors have suggested there is a difference between “complaining” in which you ask for a change and “criticizing” in which you just run the other person down in an effort to get revenge. One way to become more aware of these behaviors is to actually practice them until you recognize when you are doing them. Ben Furman has described some of these behaviors related to scolding. Done as a group activity the behaviors can be exaggerated until they become downright funny.

Here are the things a good blamer, scolder, and criticizer should be able to do automatically.

1. Tower over the person to be upbraided.

Parents have a natural advantage here. They are taller to start with. But if the person you are trying to demean is near your size, wait till they are seated and then pulling yourself up as much as possible and crowd in close so they can’t get up. In a pinch, a ladder or standing on a chair might help.

2. Stick your finger in their face.

This gesture, the universal sign of I am right and you are no good works, best if the finger motion includes several wags. Practice the up-down pound them into the ground move and the left-right “bad dog” move.

3. Leave no doubt that they are totally worthless.

Use plenty of words that leave no room for them to ever make it up to you or redeem themselves. You never, you always and other categorical statements should prove their worthlessness.

4. Demean their intelligence.

Statements like “anyone with half a brain would know” are especially good. Remind them they are dumb, stupid and that they have none of that rare commodity “common sense.” It helps to remind them how much common sense you have.

5. Ask questions for which there are no answers.

Don’t you understand that—?

Why did you do that?

6. Call them names.

Calling the person you are talking to “stupid” or “idiot” is sure to get a dramatic response out of the person you are talking at. Not a positive response necessarily, but a huge response none the less.

7. Be as vague as possible.

Never ask specifically for what you want and if by some chance they should request a clarification fall back on the old standbys “you know what I mean” or “If I have to explain it, you wouldn’t understand anyway.”

8. When all else fails try threatening.

Remind your children that if they don’t start doing as you tell them you will ground them for life. Threatening to take away the cell phone till they turn thirty can be especially ineffective. Make threats as large, outlandish, and impossible as you can. No sense in threatening with something you might actually be able to do.

Now should you want to really communicate in a positive way, which may be harder and require more work, then reverse the process and do the opposite of the things described above.

There you have it, 8 suggestions for becoming really good at Blaming, Scolding and Criticizing, and one antidote for poor communication.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Meditation for people who don’t meditate

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Tree.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Are you a meditator or a non-meditator?

For a very long time now I have been convinced that there are two kinds of people, meditators, and non-meditators. I was sure I was a non-meditator. Turns out I just might be a closet meditator after all.

There are lots of meditators out there. I read about them and the benefits of meditation. I am sure it must be immensely helpful to those who practice it, but like weight loss and exercise it has always on my “to do” list not my “done” list till now.

Meditation fits nicely with all those pleasant eastern religions, but I am a hopelessly western person. How could meditation fit into my life? I have been to a twelve-step meeting where they talk about prayer and meditation but getting into meditation has been an awfully long stretch for me.

One problem with my meditation efforts may have been the tendency to think that somehow I needed to close my eyes and block out the world. That is the way we are supposed to pray in church so that was the way I tried to meditated. The same problem occurs with both prayer and meditation when I close my eyes. First, my mind floods with thoughts about everything in the world. These are important thoughts, creative thoughts and I don’t want to lose them so I keep trying to remember these important ideas while trying to empty my mind. Ever try to empty a large pool of water using a running hose?

This flood of ideas happens at other times, like when I am supposed to be writing my blog post. At those times I use a “capture tool” for those pesky other thoughts. Rather than trying to remember the idea I just got for tomorrow’s post while typing today’s installment, I write it down on a clipboard next to my computer. This “captures” the thought and lets me drop it out of my mind and concentrate on the idea at hand. I tried that with meditation but it seems disrespectful to the meditation leaders to always be writing things down while others are trying to meditate. Seems downright sacrilegious, in a non-religious meditation way.

My training as a counselor has been mostly centered around the western style of cognitive behavioral therapy. Get a head change, change your thinking and the emotions will follow. Meditation might work for some of my really anxious clients but I was a little unsure how to teach them the benefit of something I had always been sure I didn’t do – till now.

Someone recently told me they meditate by watching the leaves in the trees. There was a brief flash of thought, not willing to call it enlightenment just yet, but I started to wonder – could watching the leaves in a tree be a form of meditation?

In counseling, we work on a skill called “attunement” with clients. We try to not only get the meaning of their words but also the feeling behind those words. We try to see the world from the client’s point of view. If we can attune to people why not trees?

It suddenly came to me that the times in my life which were the most peaceful were when I could attune with something in nature. Sitting on the ground staring away at the leaves, watching the wind making its way through the tree and feeling attuned to the tree, that occasion was one of the most peaceful times in my life.

Trees have a lot to tell us. From a distance, they look a lot alike. Close up it is amazing the variation. No tree is perfect but you don’t need to be perfect if you are a tree, you just grow and give shade.

Like most people I have moved all around looking for the place I belong, that tree outside my office has lived in that same spot since the day it was born. In all likelihood that tree will still be here after all the people who work in the building have come and gone.

The tree has its struggles. Last winter there was a wind storm and the tree lost a branch, broke off all of a sudden. The tree lost part of its self and still just kept on growing, reaching for the sun. We humans sometimes stop growing after a loss like that.

Trees aren’t the only non-humans we need to attune with. There are birds that act out their drama while living in that tree. The rain comes and it plays with that tree until drops fall to the ground and flow away.

Watching the river run downstream is also a peaceful centering experience. Water, by the way, does not care if you watch or close your eyes to meditate. If you close your eyes while attuned to a river, it will sing to you.

There you have it. While I will probably never be able to sit quietly staring off into space and meditating, I find great joy and contentment in watching the wind play games with the tree outside my window and the rain run down the stream to the river and eventually the sea.

Could you accept that attunement to nature is a very productive form of meditation?  It’s a version of meditation that works for me.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

DSM-5 Diagnoses begin to disappear

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Medical record

Diagnosis.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

UPDATE – changes in the DSM.

You can erase most of this post from your memory. During the process of updating the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) from the DSM-IV to the DSM-5 a lot of things were proposed. Some of those suggested changes were instituted and others were left out. This post includes mostly ideas that did not make it to the final DSM-5. Because these ideas were included in a lot of research articles and other blog posts, I have left the post up but need to tell you that some of this information is now out of date.

Mental illnesses appear and disappear like magic – More DSM-5.

The effort to improve and refine the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders continues. This round of revisions has created a lot of concern about the way in which things we thought we knew about the nature and treatment of mental illness can change dramatically in a short time span.

There has been a lot of opposition to some of the proposed changes from both inside the American Psychiatric Association (APA) and those outside the association who have to work with the manual. The effects for consumers and clients may not be obvious for some time.

Recently the APA posted a notice on their website about changes they are making to the proposals for the new edition of the DSM. Not surprisingly, those revisions in proposals have coincided with the APA’s convention. The pressure to get this worked out is on now as the new edition is due out next year at the May 18-22, 2013 APA convention. That means the decisions need to be made and the book sent to the publishers by the end of 2012. The APA is accepting comments on their website from May 2nd to June 15th, 2012.

Most of these ideas are tested in carefully controlled trials with strict adherence to criteria. Unfortunately in daily practice clients don’t come in with only one problem and clinicians don’t have the time or resources to do extensive testing and diagnosing. The question remains, will this new understanding of mental disorders help or hinder the efforts to get clients the best possible care and still stay inside agency’s budgets?

Here are some of the most recent changes

1. Mixed Anxiety and Depression

This is getting moved to the back of the book under diagnosis for further study. We know that clients often have both of these together but then they also may have diabetes and sore throats but so far we are not creating lots of combo diagnosis. Bottom line if you have two mental illnesses you get two diagnoses, not one “combo,” for now.

2. Attenuated Psychosis

This moves to the back of the book also. We have plenty of psychosis class diagnosis, not sure one more will make any difference.

3. Depression gets a footnote about being careful not to make normal things into mental illnesses.

But that always has needed some judgment. If it is causing you too many problems it gets diagnosed if it is within normal it does not. So we still try to keep categories of illnesses while we also allow for variations in degree.

4. The Non-Suicidal Self-Injury Diagnosis (often called cutting)

So far has not worked the way they thought it would. Some have proposed adding Suicidal Behavior Disorder also. Currently, neither of these is considered a mental illness. They are symptoms of something but we are not all agreed on what they are symptoms of. These two are likely to end up in the back of the book along with that complex grief thing.

So the announced changes in the draft move us back closer to where we were before – except that to this point the APA is staying with their proposed changes in Autism and Substance Use Disorders. Only time will tell.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Where do you belong?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Family of teddy bears.

Belonging.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

“I don’t belong here.”

Lots of people say they don’t belong here. Have you ever felt that way? Sometimes people who say and think that, mean here, now, in the present situation or place. Sometimes they mean on this earth.

When you don’t feel like you belong it is hard to be motivated, to have a purpose. Some people despair of ever finding a place where they can belong.

We talk about our “belongings,” the things we own. But feeling like someone’s possession, that can’t make us feel like we belong. Feeling that you are where you should be is not about things.

For some people belonging is about being tucked safely and securely in a close affectionate group. It might also mean feeling like we are the same as those around us. For other people belonging is being surrounded by people who accept us for who we are and encourage us to be ourselves even if that self is different from the self they have.

Some kids who have moved a lot tell me they feel this lack of belonging. People from families that never accepted them for whom and what they are; say they don’t feel like they belong also. If your family does not affirm you or if you have no friends it is not likely you can feel that you belong there. But where do you belong?

When you are always moving, starting over with new friends, new routines, it is hard to feel like you fit in. Some people find that right place, that time they fit in, early in life. Some of us spend our lifetimes looking for that place.

It is not just kids; adults say the same thing. They have spent their lives looking for that one place they fit in, that belief, cause, or activity that makes them feel that this is their one special place, the place they belong, the place they ought to be.

Sometimes it is a relationship where we belong, which gives out lives meaning. But relationships can end and then we ask if we still belong.

Elizabeth Lesser in her book Broken Open says it this way. “The first time I assisted at a birth, I had that feeling that I belonged exactly where I was, that there was nowhere else I would rather be.”

Some of us grow up not knowing where we ought to be. We may travel the world only to return to the place where we started and find there the place we always belonged, the place we needed to be.

Others of us travel and somewhere in those moves we find a place where we finally can say this is where I belong.

People will tell us that they find that belonging feeling in a spiritual place, a church, temple, mosque, or a clearing in the woods. We might find the place we belong in a cause or political movement. Why it is that one person feels at home in one place and another in a quite different setting I cannot say.

Recovering people have told me that the first time they ever felt at home, like they belonged there, was in a twelve-step meeting, among other people who understood their struggles and who welcomed them home.

Many among us will work their whole lives at a job so that they can finally retire and go on their quest for the place they belong, the thing that gives their life meaning. Others find that calling early in life and belong doing what they do their whole life. Sadly some people never do find that place where they belong.

Have you found that place where your life has meaning and purpose, a place where people accept you, that one place where you belong?

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Getting emotionally better

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Life pie

Healthy Pie of Life.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

How do we get better emotionally?

There are so many people telling us we should do this or not do that it is hard to know what to do to really see an emotional recovery. Which method works best?  Recovery is a process. So is resilience. Most of the self-help blogs and books focus on one of the things you need to do to get better but not many integrate all three processes.

1. Become aware that you are feeling something.

This is the providence of mindfulness. Dan Siegel calls this “monitoring.” People who had unhappy experiences in early childhood, we sometimes call this “attachment problems” – they often are numb. Ask someone with emotional numbness what they are feeling and they can’t tell you. So the first step in emotional recovery is simply to become aware that you are feeling something.

Ask yourself where in your body are you feeling this sensation? Is it pleasant or unpleasant? It is not important to name this feeling just yet. Sit with the feeling a while. What else is associated with this feeling? Is it memories? Do you see pictures from your past? Maybe the feeling is part of a story in your head.

In anger management or impulse control treatment this is a common first step. Often people react to an outside event with no realization that they have had a feeling that propelled them into action.

There is also an important connection between feelings and thoughts. We interpret events based on a “schema” or blueprint that is stored in our nervous system. We rarely recognize that this emotional blueprint was created a long time ago and has been biasing our reactions in one direction or another.

Becoming aware of your feelings can involve a variety of data collection techniques. Mindful meditation, thought records and journals, can all be used to capture the fact that you are having feelings. Not sure what you are feeling? Try drawing a picture of your feeling. Crayons are not just for our kids anymore.

2. Find a label for what you are feeling.

In group therapy, particularly with men’s only groups, we find that people have a limited vocabulary to describe their feelings. Developing a larger vocabulary for feelings allows you to discriminate between the various shades of feeling. Many groups use a chart that shows drawings of people’s faces that portray a variety of feelings; all neatly labeled under the picture with a name we can call this expression.

Many people have only three names for their feelings, good, bad, and pissed off. Good and bad are judgments about the feelings not really names of feelings. Does good mean content or excited? There is a world of difference between those two. People have a need for security but too much security may become boredom. We all like a little excitement but too much coming at us can be terrifying.

3. Transform or modify the feeling

This is the tricky part. As long as you insist that you don’t feel but that others “make you feel” you are in a reactive victim place. It is likely that there are some feelings that are primary biological functions but our responses to those sensations are learned. CBT therapists tell us that our thoughts heavily influence our feelings.

For example, when your stomach has a non-pleasant sensation we try to do something to relieve that feeling. Most people who have that feeling think they are hungry and they eat. Research has shown that more than a third of people who think they are hungry are in fact thirsty, they are dehydrated. If they learn to try drinking water first, wait a while, say thirty minutes, many times what they thought was hunger goes away, dissolved by the water.

We learn to interpret body sensations and we also learn to interpret emotional ones. If we have limited names for these feelings we start putting the wrong label on the feeling and we respond incorrectly.

Narrative therapists think we create stories for ourselves about how we “should be” or how things “are.” Creating new stories for ourselves allows us to do new behaviors. So if the schema or blueprint in our head is fuzzy we need to take another look at how it was drawn, correct the faulty parts, and develop a new way of relating to our feelings.

Most thinking is done with words. The more words you know the more potential thoughts you might have. Most of us have learned a lot of technical words, about our jobs, sports, and hobbies. But we lack the vocabulary to talk about feelings.

This three-step process, feel, identify, and transform can go a long way to help us heal from emotional pain.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Gloomy day in my head

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Tree

Tree.

Weather influences our mood.

When I left the house today it was gloomy. Before I knew it I was gloomy. Guess that’s the way it works. The wind was blowing and everything is wet. For most of you that won’t sound unusual, for me it is. I live in a very dry part of Central California; water does not fall from the sky and get everything wet all that often. I checked to see if my neighbor turned his sprinkler up to high. He hadn’t. The street was wet everywhere.

The last time my car was this wet was when I went through the car wash. Why did a little bit of rain put me in such a dark mood?

This would be a nice day to sit curled up by a fire. I used to love to sit by the fire in another place, long ago, when we had that fireplace. How primitive. I imagined how long ago people might gather around the fire in their cave. Now we have houses with fireplaces. Today might be a “no burn” day because of the air pollution. We have more bad air alerts than before. I would huddle around the fire but I have central heat and air. Huddling around a floor vent just isn’t the same. Besides, I have to go to work.

Does the weather really affect my mood that much?

Was it just a few days ago that we changed the clocks? Ever since the time change, everyone at work has been complaining that they have not been able to sleep right.  Is it because the weather warmed and the days are getting brighter? Do my moods really change at the drop of a few sunbeams or raindrops? All this civilization and my mood changes with the weather like a plant growing towards the light. Does today know it is gloomy?

The birds are missing from the tree today. I miss the birds. Most days they are up and cooing when I leave for work. I have not seen them nesting yet. I know that when they build their nests the male will be missing all day sitting on the nest. Then only the female will come around in the daylight looking for food.

I have had a fondness, a sense of connection to the birds, the pigeons, and doves, ever since my father and I built that building in the backyard to house my first two pigeons. And that day he told me the story of how his father, my grandfather, used to raise birds in his backyard. Birds mostly nest alone. They must have hunkered down somewhere. The world seems so empty when the birds are away. Do the birds get lonely when the sky turns gloomy?

The Camellias look so defeated. The rain in the night has beaten them down. I remember other camellia bushes from long ago. Sitting under the windows at the high school I used to attend. They looking forlorn another day I remember so long ago, the day the loudspeakers in the school told us that the president had been shot. That day was gloomy also. The blooms remind me of my youth, the blossoms knocked to the ground tell me of things past.

There are no squirrels out today. They must all be snug in some nest in a hole in the ground. The idea of crawling into a hole in the ground does not make me feel any less gloomy. Maybe you need to be a squirrel to understand the comforts of holes. Do squirrels get gloomy?

As I drive through the rain, I think about the way I feel. There is that friend I haven’t seen in a long time. I need to make the time to see friends again. I think about an old friend, No emails between us for a long time. Maybe tonight after work I will write that email I have been putting off. Maybe I will talk with someone today while we work.

Is that the difference between animals and people?  They say animals when frightened or upset look for things, holes, nests, and caves. People, when we are gloomy and sad look for other people.

My cat stares at me from the window and watches as I drive away.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

How many mental illnesses are there?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Confused brain

Mental illness.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

How many mental illnesses do you know about?

Most people are familiar with a few mental illnesses. We have an official book called the DSM-4-TR which lists all the ones that are currently recognized, but professionals all know that sometime very soon there will be a new list and then this will all change (UPDATE now the DSM-5). Sometimes, as with manic-depressive disorder, we change the way people think about an illness by changing the name. The new name for this is Bipolar Disorder and that lets us start drawing small distinctions between people who get the same diagnosis but their symptoms are so very different. Then there are a lot of things we might call “problems of daily living.” These problems send more people to counseling than most of the well known mental illnesses.

Now in addition to this, there are a lot of things in the back of the DSM (pick an edition here) that are only recognized in a particular culture. There is also a long list of diagnoses suggested for further research, which means some professionals think it should be a disorder and other professionals don’t.

So currently the DSM lists about 400 give or take mental, emotional, or behavioral disorders. Even professionals forget to use all these codes a lot of the time.

When I teach classes in substance abuse counseling, I try to give prospective substance abuse counselors an overview of all these disorders. We don’t expect them to learn to diagnose disorders, just to recognize when a problem might be a mental illness and need a referral to a mental health professional. Here is that very oversimplified way of understanding mental illnesses. We will reduce that list of 400 to about 6. For the rest of the list read the book or better yet go to a professional.

1. Problems of daily living.

These are the most common. That does not mean they are the least important. This includes adjustment disorders and relationship problems. Job loss, breakups, and divorces, and parenting issues are common but they can be fatal. Ever hear of a person going through a divorce who kills themselves or others? These adjustments to life’s changes can throw people for a loop and result in severe disability. They result in the majority of referrals to therapists in private practice. Despite the fact that these problems can cause death, violence, and lots of suffering, not all insurance covers this kind of counseling. Publicly funded programs for adults often require that you actually try to kill yourself before they will treat you. Kids get a break most of the time. We need to make therapy and counseling more available but you knew I would say that. Didn’t you?

2. Anxiety disorders.

Does it surprise you that anxiety is in second place? It would be the first place in those disorders most programs are set up to treat. Lots of anxiety out there. PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is on the rise. Lots of shades of anxiety from phobias like fear of snakes to panic attacks.

3. Mood disorders.

This includes depression, bipolar disorder, and a whole bunch of other labels we use less often. I have written several blog posts on these disorders and how we fail to catch them early. If you feel that you or someone around you have emotions that they can’t control, seek professional help.

4. Substance use disorders.

This includes addiction or substance abuse and dependence as we are now calling it. Some of you will argue that this is not a mental illness. Taking drugs or drinking is a choice right? Well not exactly. Think of substance abuse in the same way we might look at type two diabetes. This has been characterized as a “disease of excess calories.” So if you exercise more and eat less you may not get it. But the truth is that whatever the reason you got it, voluntary or not, once you have it, you have it.

Substance use disorder is like that. It is characterized by an increase in tolerance to a drug, a physical or psychological withdrawal, and a loss of control over the amount the client uses once they start using. Once they get it they need treatment or help to stop.

P.S. on this – in the DSM-5 there is more emphasis on the cravings that go with chemical and behavioral disorders.

5. Psychoses.

Most people would immediately think of a “paranoid schizophrenic” as an example of this. That would be wrong. Most people would also have started the list with this one. People think psychosis is a lot more common than it is. For the record, there are lots of psychoses other than Schizophrenia. Not all paranoids have schizophrenia by the way, and not all people with schizophrenia are paranoid.

Psychosis is a distortion of reality, sometimes referred to as a loss of touch with reality. That sounds more like a politician than a mentally ill person to me.

6. Problems of kids and growing up.

Things like developmental delays and mental retardation show up most often before a child goes to school. Learning disabilities and ADHD get diagnosed in the early grades and behavioral problems get diagnosed in middle school most often. This is not because these problems develop then but because as the child ages our expectations of them change and we notice different problems. Autism, Asperger’s Disorder, and Pervasive Developmental Delay NOS also get diagnosed most often when the child is young. Of course, most any of these conditions could show up in adulthood if they had not been spotted before. A group of issues we call attachment disorders could show up here but many adult clients are just now dealing with issues that began when they were very young. Things like abusive or neglectful parents. They have just managed to hide and put off dealing with these problems until a life stressor brings then out.

P.S. on that one also. In the DSM-5 we see a recognition that while something like ADHD may be first recognized in childhood it can continue your whole life. Just cause you never got this diagnosed in childhood should not keep it from getting recognized and treated later in life.

So there you have them – 6 broad categories of mental illnesses. I am sure I have left some other things out but these are the biggies that bring lots of suffering and drive people to therapy or meds. If any of these issues are affecting you or someone you care about, consider therapy, counseling, or possible meds.  There is help out there and most of the time suffering in silence does not make the pain go away.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

How does therapy help people?

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By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Therapy

Therapy.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

People ask just how it is that therapy or counseling works.

The short answer is that there are many ways, not just one way in which therapy may work to help someone. Professionals all have their own preferred theory of therapy which is the basis of their practice. What they do is highly influenced by the theory they use, though the truth be told most of us borrow from other theories if we see a procedure that might help a client.

The way counseling might help also varies with the problem the client brings to the office. In the early days, there was one profession that largely dealt with problems of the mind, psychiatrists. Today there are many specialties that work to help people with their problems of living. A caveat here, I have my preferred way of trying to be helpful. This is my opinion so I won’t pretend to fully explain all the procedures.

Therapists are empathetic, non-judgmental listeners.

There are some things people don’t feel comfortable talking to their families and friends about. One school of therapists, Rogerians, believe that most of us have the answers to life’s problems we just need to talk them out. Being able to talk through urges and fantasies helps people to understand themselves and may lead to an improved ability to control their behavior. Clients sometimes say their therapist just sat there, listened, and didn’t tell them anything. If you want or need more than listening, discuss that with your counselor.

Therapy can be a corrective emotional experience.

Many clients tell me they have trust issues. Often this is because there has been no one in their lives they could trust or because they were not trustworthy themselves. If their family was never very affirming, a positive therapist can help them to learn to affirm themselves. Group therapy is especially good at teaching people how to deal with interpersonal problems by allowing them to experiment with new behaviors.

The counselor can provide reality testing.

Clients may come to therapy with incorrect perceptions. People think they are fat when they are normal or below in weight. They think of themselves as too old or too dumb when they are in fact at a normal developmental point in their life. People make plans that they do not have the skills or resources for, they have expectations of others that are not realistic. Having someone to “bounced ideas off” can help ground plans in the real world.

Counselors help people change life stories.

Many people have a “story” about themselves that started in early life and which they have been unable to alter. People with call themselves “a loser.” This personal story, saturated with problems, may keep them from trying new things because they expect to fail at any new effort.  Narrative therapists help people create a new story.  Cognitive therapists would call this a “thinking distortion” and use various methods to get the client to challenge this belief and create a new belief about themselves that was more adaptive. Instead of thinking of themselves as a “loser”, the client may begin to see themselves as a “survivor” who has continued to try in spite of obstacles.

Counselors teach clients new skills.

A substance abuse counselor would teach a client refusal skills. A career counselor might teach his client how to use online career inventories, interviewing skills, or resources to use to conduct a job search. Marriage counselors may teach couples communication skills. Family counselors may teach parenting skills. Skills-based approaches may involve recommendations for books to read and real-life homework to increase skills. School counselors primarily work on academic issues, what classes to take, and how to succeed in school.

Counselors help clients get in touch with themselves.

Exploration of the self, personal growth, and discovery are all legitimate reasons to see a counselor. Counselors don’t make decisions for clients, but they can teach clients decision-making skills and encourage clients to practice these skills. Therapy can help clarify values and assist clients in evaluating choices. People may come to counseling confused and in need of help in gaining clarity.

Psychotherapy can assist in changing personality.

Psychotherapists often focus on basic personality characteristics. Psychologists can give and administer personality tests while psychotherapists can spend time working through personality characteristics the client may wish to change.  Changing an underlying personality characteristic takes more time and effort than the crisis-driven techniques but it can result in long-term changes in coping skills. Psychodynamic therapists work on the unconscious. More cognitive therapists would approach personality issues by trying to help the client gain a new worldview. “Getting a new pair of glasses” results in seeing the world and problems differently.

There are sure to be more ways in which counseling is helpful. What do you think? Are you a client who has been helped? What was helpful? If you are a therapist, what do you think helps clients?

This post was featured in “Best of Blog – May 2012”

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel