Ways to take care of yourself.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Taking care of yourself

Self-care.

You deserve to be well cared for.

Did anyone teach you how to take care of yourself? Did they tell you that taking care of yourself is being selfish? Don’t listen to that kind of talk.

Taking good care of yourself is not being selfish. You can’t give others something you do not have. How can you expect your children and others around you to take care of themselves when you do not set a good example?

Having the guts and determination to keep on pushing forward despite the obstacles is an admirable quality. But eventually, even the superheroes need to rest and relax. Living your life as if the objective is to see how much you can suffer and push yourself is no way to live.

You are only here for one life. Try to get the most out of that life by living a life full of self-compassion.

Here is a list of simple to do self-care acts that can make you a more self-compassionate person.

1. Let yourself rest when tired – sleep.

This one is at the top of the list for a reason. Sleep is not unproductive time. You do not get more accomplished by sleeping less. When needed you can probably get by on less sleep for a few days or even weeks but eventually, that lack of rest catches up with you.

Sleep is the time when your brain cools down, increases blood flow, and cleans out all the waste products. Your brain and nerves heal and memory’s get consolidated during sleep.

Fail to get enough sleep and your daily performance will decline. You may even damage that computer in your head and there are no replacement parts for the model brain you are using.

2. Take care of your body.

Eat healthily and get some exercise. If you are too busy to eat well or exercise you are too busy. Eventually, parts of the body get worn. You need good nutrition and some physical exercise to keep the machine you call your body working well.

Pushing yourself long hours on poor quality fuel results in excessive wear on your body and a shortened lifespan.

Want to get the most done in your career or home. Keep yourself in good shape for the whole journey.

3. Respect how you feel.

Do not ignore your feelings. If something is bothering you attend to it before it becomes a major problem. Talk that issue through with a trusted friend or professional. If the issue is between you and your spouse then your partner is the one you need to be talking with.

Having healthy supportive relationships keeps you mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy.

If your emotions are running rough do not ignore the feelings. Take yourself in for an emotional tune-up if needed. Most people think that seeing a counselor or therapist is something you do after you have a nervous breakdown. Get emotional help in the early stages and there may be no breakdown.

4. Schedule time for you.

Never have any time for yourself? Then you are giving too much of your life away. Make time for yourself, your interests, and enjoying life.

You are the only you there will ever be. Enjoy every minute you spend with yourself. Being alone some of the time should not equal being lonely. Balance the time around others with the time you spend in solitude.

5. Pause to take stock of where you are in life – have goals.

One good habit to get into is a periodic review of your life. Businesses take inventory at least once a year. Are there things in your life that are obsolete? Have a clearance sale and get those activities that are taking up your time but providing no value out of your life.

Are your activities taking you where you want to go? Review your goals and the strategies and tactics you are using to get to those goals.

6. Reward your hard work.

Make sure you build in rewards for the hard work you do. What special rewards will you give yourself when you reach a goal?

7. Challenge yourself to build a sense of accomplishment.

People have comfort zones. When you step just a little outside that zone you feel some anxiety but when you try on a new behavior and are successful you get used to this new area. Keep moving just a step outside that comfort zone and you will stretch out the area of things that you can comfortably do.

8. Give yourself a round of applause for things well done.

Be your most enthusiastic cheerleader. Make sure you notice the things that you do and give yourself a round of applause every time you are able to master a new skill or challenge.

Accept compliments when offered. Do not reject those compliments with a self-deprecating “It was nothing.” A simple thank you to the party that offered you the praise will go a long way in building your self-esteem and theirs.

9. Invest time and money in yourself.

You have a set amount of time each week. You can spend that time wisely or foolishly. Budget those hours and include an investment in yourself as part of that budget. Take a class, read something that interests you.

There is a difference between spending money and time for momentary pleasure and investing in yourself for the long run. Investments in yourself, in learning new skills, or expanding your experiences, pay dividends down the road.

What other ways have you found that help you take care of yourself?

Start taking care of yourself.  

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

9 ways to be your own worst enemy

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Undesirable person

Undesirable person.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

With a friend like that you don’t need enemies.

Do you treat yourself in a way you wouldn’t take from anyone else? Do you Self Sabotage? There are lots of things we do to ourselves that are not very affirming. You should strive to be your own best friend, not your own worst enemy.

Here are some things that you may be doing to yourself that you would never do to a friend and you probably wouldn’t and shouldn’t accept from someone close to you.

Lying to yourself.

Do you lie to yourself? Make excuses for why it is OK to do things that harm yourself? It is easy to let yourself do unhealthy things. We encourage our family and friends to live healthy all the while ignoring our own self-care.

Overdoing and not saying no.

Are you often overworked, overloaded, and behind schedule? Do you have trouble saying no to others and take on more than you should? Sometimes we are afraid to say no to others when they ask us to do things. It is easy to keep saying yes and doing more and more until one day you reach the breaking point. Do you stop and draw boundaries or do you work yourself to death?

Not learning anything new.

Are you uninformed? Do you avoid learning anything that might make you more confident and successful? Self-improvement takes time and effort. Do you invest in yourself or are you so unsure of your self-worth that you neglect to develop and sharpen skills?

Taking time for pleasure.

Is it O. K. for you to enjoy yourself? Do you do things that are just for fun? It is not selfish to take good care of yourself. We all need a little pleasure and relaxation from time to time.

Refuse credit or compliments for things well done.

Do you belittle your own accomplishments and fail to give yourself credit for the things you do well. It is easy to notice and praise others when they do something noteworthy but we often feel uncomfortable accepting praise for things well done.

Put yourself down.

If you repeatedly run yourself down and say negative things about yourself you will start believing those statements. Someone who is called fat and stupid by those around them may begin to think of themselves as fat and stupid. Years later after the bullies and tormentors are gone you may still be calling yourself those names and you may believe that this is the way you really are. If you believe something negative about yourself you may create it happening.

Make sure to say good things about yourself. Do you say good things to yourself every day? Do you praise yourself?

Listen to criticism or let it stop you.

People who are sensitive may be hurt by listening to criticism. Learn how to listen to criticism and decide which things to take and which to leave. Learning to self-monitor and change your behavior are valuable skills. Avoiding criticism may be neglecting to use a valuable source of information.

Let others decide for you.

Do you get your sense of self-worth from outside? People who are constantly looking for others approval look helpless and over needy. You wouldn’t like someone that needy and if you do this you won’t like yourself.

Do anything to get people to like you.

Constantly trying to get people to like you can result in your not being true to yourself and becoming someone so fake that even you would not want yourself around. The more you are acting the way you want to be and the way you want to be is the way your beliefs tell you that you should be the more mentally healthy you will be.

Consider all the ways you may be your own worst enemy and decide to stop self-sabotaging and become your own best friend.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel