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About David Joel Miller

David Miller is a California Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Clinical Counselor, faculty member at a local college, certified trainer and writer.

You want to write but what should you write?

By David Joel Miller.

David Joel Miller Books

David Joel Miller Books

What direction should your writing go?

There is a phenomenal amount of material on the Internet about writing. When I first started writing, I read a lot of that material. I still read about writing now, though I am more selective about what I read these days. Some useful content is available for free. Some of the most prominent writing material functions like a funnel, telling you that if you follow their methods, you will become a successful writer. Some of these classes run into thousands of dollars. I can’t tell you which classes work and which don’t. But I would suggest that before you spend a lot of money on trainings, you need to get clear on your goals for writing.

Becoming a best-selling author, making a lot of money involves a lot of hard work and an enormous amount of luck. Like classes or camps on how to play basketball, you can learn a lot, improve your game, but no one can guarantee you will make it to the big leagues.

What are the reasons you should write?

Probably the best reason to write is to express yourself. If you have a story to tell or a point of view you would like to share, writing is an excellent way to express yourself. Writing can also be an excellent way to become clear about what you think and feel. Counselors often encourage their clients to write, commonly called journaling, as a way of clarifying their thoughts.

Personally, one of the things I enjoy most in life is learning new things and then passing on what I have learned. Both teaching and writing are excellent ways to pass on the things that matter to you. Some writers do become famous, some make a lot of money, but both of those things are rare. If you’re planning to write for fame or money, there are other paths to your goal that are more likely to take you where you want to go.

Here are some writing possibilities and why you might choose them.

Journaling.

Recording your thoughts in a journal can be very useful. Over time you can see how your life, your thinking, and your feelings change. Journals are rarely meant to be read by others, at least not in the short-term. Private diaries have turned out to be valuable source material for historians. The great thing about a journal is that since it’s not meant for others to read you can feel free to express anything. Some people keep journals in written notebooks. Increasing journals are being written on computers and saved to electronic media. Writing your journal on a computer has the added advantage of being easy to password protect. Keeping your writings private avoids criticism from others. If you are high in anxiety or only want to escape the trolls on social media, consider writing in a journal.

Leaving comments on blogs and book reviews.

Some people exercise their creativity by writing book reviews. Authors who sell their books on e-platforms such as Amazon appreciate reviews. Your review may help someone else decide whether to purchase that book.

Leaving a comment on someone else’s blog tells them people are reading what they write. Your comments are your chance to share your opinion and your personal experiences. Many people create screen names so that they can comment and still preserve their confidentiality.

Writing a blog.

Some people begin their writing journey by publishing a blog. Writing a blog is extremely different from posting on social media. Just because you write does not mean anyone will read your posts. Creating a blog will require learning some technical skills. If you grew up texting, you might have an advantage over those of us who had to learn all these new technologies. To develop a blog with regular readers can involve some hard work, but seeing people reading your posts and leaving comments can be quite rewarding. I began my writing journey by creating the counselorssoapbox.com blog. In future posts, I’ll talk more about all the lessons I learned from publishing that blog.

Writing a nonfiction book.

If you have knowledge in a specific area or are willing to do the research required, you may decide to write a nonfiction book. Getting your book published by an established publisher can be a long and challenging process. Many people today self-publish their books. Print on demand has made it possible to create your own paperback book even if you sell only a few copies. Publishing a book, either through a legacy publisher for self-publishing, does not mean the book will sell or that you will make any money.

The process of publishing and marketing your book involves a lot of steps long after you’ve finished writing. I discovered I needed to learn many skills to get my finished nonfiction book from a completed manuscript into the marketplace. E-books have significantly increased the books available. Many authors today choose to self-publish their books in electronic formats. My self-help book Bumps on the Road of Life is available in both paperback and electronic editions. Eventually, I would like to tell you the story of how that book was created and how I continue to work on it. Hopefully, my experiences will help you write the book you were meant to write.

Writing fiction, short stories, and novels.

There’s always a demand for a good story. Many writers enjoy creating a tale. Some people publish these for free, and others try to make some money from their writing. It’s quite possible to write fiction stories under a pen name. The process of creating a novel is significantly different from the process involved in creating a nonfiction book. In Nonfiction, you need a good knowledge of the subject matter, and the ability to explain that information clearly. When writing fiction, you need to master the skills of creating interesting characters, a believable and intriguing plot with surprising twists, and a great many other storytelling skills. It’s not surprising to find that a successful novelist has written 10 or more practice novels before completing the story that was finally published.

Writing for pay.

Some people who have polished their skills at writing copy or editing write for other people. You might ghostwrite a book for someone else, or you could write copy to sell a product. Some people also use their skills to help other writers by editing, professional reviewing, and proofreading.

Other forms of communication.

Communicating today has expanded far beyond written materials. Some people produce videos, and others produce screenplays to be made into movies or TV shows. While the resulting product can be visual or auditory and visual, there is often script the formed the basis for the finished product. Audio “books” are a fascinating innovation, while they are neither written nor tangible physical books they fill the same function.

I hope this has sparked your interest. If so, please leave a comment. In future posts, we will talk more about my experiences along my writing journey. I have learned a lot along the way, some of it from painful mistakes, and I continue to learn. Stay tuned for more of the story of my writing journey.

You’ll find more posts on this topic under – Writing.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Why you are burned out.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Match on fire

Burnout.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Are you experiencing burnout?

Burnout has been one of the major problems of the last century, and it’s getting worse, not better. As more people work in jobs that involve contact with other people, stress has been magnified. Among social workers, burnout was called “compassion fatigue.” Teachers experience burnout, so do bankers. Customer service representatives and those who work in phone centers commonly experience burnout.

High levels of stress, particularly in situations where you are low in your ability to control the situation, can result in burnout. Once you experience burnout, you may never be able to return to that job again. For some people, burnout is so complete that they become disabled and are never able to work afterward. Here are some of the things that may be putting you at high risk for burnout.

Trying to do too much results in burnout.

Worldwide, everyone seems to be doing more and finding less happiness. Today, most families are either single-parent or both parents work. With more hours put in on the job, there is less time for children, relationships, and self-care.

The price we have paid for more material possessions has been long commutes, more stress on the job, and declining life satisfaction. Recently, we have seen a tremendous increase in anxiety disorders, depression, and stress-related disorders. Poor mental and emotional health is resulting in poor physical health. If your whole life consists of running from one thing to the next, you’re at high risk to break down and not being able to do anything in the future.

When you don’t say no, you take on too much.

Whether it’s on the job or in your personal life, not being able to say no puts you at an increased risk of burnout. If you’re one of those people who feel guilty when you say no, you are sacrificing your health for other people’s approval. Taking on that one more project may be the one too many that leads to emotional exhaustion.

Not taking care of your body leads to burnout.

Most people are chronically sleep-deprived, not out of necessity but out of choice. In that respect, electricity has been a mixed blessing. People set their alarms so they can get up before the sun. It’s a rush to get yourselves and your family ready for the day. The evenings are spent bingeing on electronic entertainment. It’s common for people of all ages to stay up late online, frantically pursuing pleasure. Junk food provides the bulk of the fuel for human bodies today. Being overweight or obese adds another burden, physically and mentally, for you to carry around each day. Poor physical self-care leaves you emotionally depleted as well and at high risk for permanent burnout.

When other people’s opinion matters too much, you risk burnout.

Social media likes have become the measure of personal satisfaction. A diet of craving other people’s approval leaves you starved for self-esteem. If you don’t feel good about yourself, you will never be able to get enough approval from others. One of the first signs of burnout is feeling chronically, physically, and emotionally exhausted.

You will burn out if your brain never gets time off.

It’s common for people in therapy to report that their mind races. An unquiet mind can be a symptom of a particular mental illness, but it can also indicate stimulus overload. The human brain is designed to do most things automatically, without thought. Fewer things require serious deep thinking. When your brain is full of things you need to remember, and you are thinking deeply, your thought processes will slow down. When your brain is full, trying to do your daily job, life can be overwhelming.

Pursuing someone else’s goals causes burnout.

Some people look forward to their daily tasks. When you enjoy what you do each day, it energizes you. If you are pursuing your passions, are on the jazz about what you do each day, you are unlikely to experience burnout. Many people find they can tolerate an unpleasant workday if their leisure time allows them to pursue their passions. The more of each day you spend pursuing someone else’s goals, the less time you will have to reach your objectives.

Negative thoughts result in burnout.

The thoughts you have produce the feelings you feel. If your typical way of thinking is pessimistic, full of negative, unhelpful thoughts, you will become emotionally drained. As burnout progresses, people move from feeling physically and emotionally exhausted to being cynical and negative about other people, the situation, and the future. When you begin to feel that you are incompetent, unable to do your daily tasks correctly, you are at the end of the line for burnout.

More posts about – Burnout.

David Joel Miller, MS, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC)  Mr. Miller provides supervision for beginning counselors and therapists and teaches at the local college in the Substance Abuse Counseling program.

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seems like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get their life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books, please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Creativity.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Creativity

Creativity.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Creativity.

“Creativity takes courage.”

― Henri Matisse

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”

― Albert Einstein

“The chief enemy of creativity is good sense.”

― Pablo Picasso

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.

Inspiration

From Wanting-to-Write to Published Author.

By David Joel Miller.

David Joel Miller Books

David Joel Miller Books

The journey from wanting to write to published author almost didn’t happen.

While having lunch the other day with a couple of colleagues they had a lot of questions for me about how I got from where I started to where I am today. Our conversation got me to thinking about all the experiences I’ve had learning, first to blog, then to write some books, and finally to see two of those books published. It’s been a long journey and one that almost didn’t happen.

I can’t say I have all the answers at this point, but I have learned a lot along my journey. One thing I discovered is that one of the best ways to consolidate knowledge, so you don’t forget it, is to try to teach it to someone else. Starting with this post I wanted to share with whoever might be interested in some of the things that I have learned along this journey that almost never happened.

Doing something I didn’t think was possible.

For a good part of my life, I didn’t think that writing something worth reading was a possibility for me. As an elementary school child, I wrote a poem that ended up in the school newspaper, and for many years afterward I thought about writing, but given all my struggles in English class, I didn’t think it was a possibility, not for me anyway.

The consensus back then was that to be a successful writer you need to have great handwriting, be skilled at typing, and especially you need to be a fabulous speller. Writing something that others would read necessitated you to be perfect with your grammar, and able to insert punctuation with perfect precision. While I was passable at public speaking when it came to written language, I had none of those required skills.

Being left-handed I learned to write less than legibly. Several people suggested that I should have become a doctor. While I couldn’t spell standard English or any other language for that matter, I was highly creative. Within a single paragraph, I could find at least 3 to 4 different ways to spell the same word.

For the record being creative with your spelling is not something I invented. If you read some of the books written in colonial times, you will find that back then, spelling was far from fixed. King James is reported to have said: “I never trust anyone who only knows one way to spell a word.” While I can’t be sure that quote is accurate, up until about 1999 I followed the practice of writing as little as possible and then with total disregard for spelling and punctuation.

And then the world started changing.

I’ll spare you the detailed stories of walking to and from school, uphill, both ways, in the snow, though before 1960 I lived in the Midwest and I did walk to school in the snow. The world in this millennium is for me, like moving to a foreign country and having to learn a new culture. To give you some perspective, as a child I visited my grandparents. There was no running water. There was an outhouse out by the back fence, and the kitchen sink was built over the well. Each time you use the pump you had to save a glass of water to prime the pump for the next use. The whole town had one phone line and if too many people picked up when the phone rang, you couldn’t here anymore.

Then came the second millennium.

For most of America’s history, almost everyone worked in agriculture. Back then something like 5 percent of the US population lived in big cities. By the 1900s people had started working in factories and retail stores. Only one of my four grandparents graduated from high school. Back then you didn’t need a diploma to get a job.

In the year 2000, more than half the country lived in big cities and to get even a low-paid job was likely to require more than a high school diploma. The pace of change began accelerating. By the year 2020, it’s probable that almost all jobs will require at least a 2-year college degree.

The other massive change that occurred since 2000 is the rapid acceleration in technology. Like an immigrant to the new digital technology world who was learning a new language, I had to learn how to log on to the computer. Today I spend the bulk of my day online navigating programs, and I take journeys everywhere across the world-wide-web.

Some 21st-century writing and technology experiences.

About 2000 I learned to use the computer at work. Shortly after that, we got our first home computer connected to the Internet by a dial-up modem. Remember those days? In the 20 years since I’ve had to replace computers and programs multiple times as programs and operating systems became outmoded. Today I have a desktop computer that I use for most of my writing and a laptop computer which can connect via Wi-Fi when I’m away from my home office.

I was shocked when some of my coworkers began to openly talk about using a “cell phone.” My understanding used to be that the only time people use a cell phone was when they made a call from the drunk tank using the payphone on the cell wall.

In 2005 I attended a conference (The Evolution of Psychotherapy) and encountered a shocking face-to-face encounter with the new technological universe. One of the speakers told us that if you wanted to work in some parts of the counseling field you needed to have a portable “cell phone.” I quickly purchased a flip phone.

I encounter a phone that is smarter than I am.

When my old flip phone gave up the ghost, I make the upgrade to a smartphone. Unfortunately, way too many people who know me “have my number.” They started sending me startling messages using a thing called “text messaging.” I am especially thankful to one of my interns who taught me how to open a text message and how to reply to it.

So, there you have some of the story about how I began the journey from being someone with a learning disability of written expression, unable to write a sentence containing correctly spelled words which were correctly punctuated, to someone who writes a reasonably well-read blog and has written and published two books.

It’s a glorious new age for writing and publishing.

In the past, if you wanted to be a writer you struggled for possibly decades. Most writers had day jobs and filled the evenings and weekends while struggling to learn their craft. In the early days, if you wanted something published, you had to come up with the cash to get it printed and then try to sell it yourself. There are still a few companies who will print your book for you if your sole goal is to be able to hold your book in your hand. But don’t expect much in the way of book sales.

The other approach to getting something you wrote published was to send it off to the “gatekeepers.” The used to be a lot of magazines that would pay small amounts for short stories. Then the publishing of books became concentrated in New York and a few other major cities. Authors had to work for years writing and submitting and hoping someone would like what they’ve done well enough to agree to publish their book.

Technology keeps moving forward.

The invention of the automobile resulted in the demise of the whole horse and buggy industry. Today’s technology, computers, word processing programs, spelling and grammar checkers along with e-books and on-demand printing has entirely altered the way the written word is produced and distributed.

For centuries, people who would learn to read and write have said they wanted to write a book. I know of several of my friends and relatives who always wanted to write a book. Most of them never did. A great many people had a manuscript tucked away in a drawer somewhere that was discarded when they died.

Today technology makes it possible for almost anyone to write something. Whether you can spell or punctuate you can still create an understandable sentence, paragraph, chapter, and book. Even if you can’t type, you can dictate. Personally, because of carpal tunnel syndrome, I’ve had to switch from typing to dictating. For better or worse the new technologies have made writing and publishing accessible to anyone willing to put in the effort, even if you’re not a digital native but an old dinosaur like me.

Possible, however, does not mean easy. In upcoming posts, I want to share some of the experiences I’ve had to reach this point in my writing experiences and some of the lessons I have learned along the way. Hope you’ll join me again for other blog posts on the topics of writing and publishing.

You’ll find more posts on this topic under – Writing.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Why do you worry?

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Man worrying,

Some things you do not need to worry about.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Excess worry damages your mental health.

Many people know that worry and rumination can damage their mental health. Those same people may hold contradictory beliefs that they must worry in order to prevent bad things from happening.

People who hold both positive and negative beliefs about worry are likely to be higher in anxiety, experience more depression, and have impaired physical as well as mental health.

Positive beliefs about worry encourage worrying.

People who are high in worry often have firm beliefs about the positive consequences of worrying. The way you think about worrying plays a role in creating and maintaining that worry. It’s hard to give up worrying, no matter how painful it is, if you have positive beliefs about the benefits of worrying. If you worry a lot, examine your beliefs about worry. You may be expecting worry to play a role in life; it’s not able to fill.

People who worry a lot believe Worry will keep them safe.

People who worry a lot often have a belief that worrying will make possible future negative events less likely to happen or will prevent those bad results from happening altogether. People who worry a lot expect that worry will reduce the consequences should a bad event happen.

Some worriers believe that worry motivates them.

Humans tend to be loss-averse. Most people will work a lot harder to avoid losing something they have than they will work to get an item of equal value. If you worry about flooding, you may buy flood insurance.

When they are unhappy with their current job, a worrier is likely to put more effort into avoiding the loss of the current job then they will put into securing a new better job.

People who frequently worry may believe worry helps analytic thinking.

At the beginning of a project, most people see only probable success. Worriers have the belief that by worrying about what could go wrong, they will spot possible dangers.

Frequent worriers believe that they need to control their thoughts.

People who are high in worry often believe that their brains will think dangerous thoughts. Sometimes they confuse the difference between thinking about something and causing it to happen.

Worriers are intolerant of uncertainty.

People who have difficulty accepting that some things are out of their control are at increased risk of developing excessive, pathological worry. People who are high in worry and anxiety believe they are responsible for controlling outcomes. Not being able to predict what will happen, coupled with the belief that with enough thought and effort, you should be able to control the results, can result in debilitating worry and anxiety.

Worriers use the “as many as I can” worry stop rule.

These are the people who plan to focus on all possible issues. Worriers attempt to anticipate everything that could go wrong. Because of their efforts to anticipate every possible negative outcome, worriers spend a lot of time focused on low probability events and often are unprepared for the things that do occur. People who are low in worry use the “good enough worrying” rule. They worry only about a few high-probability outcomes.

Worriers believe they must have cognitive confidence.

People who worry a lot value high levels of confidence. They’re uncomfortable with uncertainty. Many life events contain large amounts of uncertainty. Worriers try to reduce that uncertainty by turning the possibilities over and over, looking for other things that could go wrong.

People who worry a lot tell themselves that worry is uncontrollable.

The focus of worry is on preventing negative feelings and consequences rather than on preventing worry. If you believe worry is uncontrollable, then it is something you are required to do. Believing worry is uncontrollable, but that you are responsible for controlling what happens, leads to superstitious beliefs and may result in repetitive obsessive-compulsive disorder behaviors.

High levels of negative feelings create worry.

Feelings of pessimism, personal inadequacy or incompetence, and personal despair and hopelessness make it more likely they will worry. People who are sad or depressed are likely to worry more.

Worry can be used to avoid facing unpleasant life events.

When you worry, you can stay focused on what might happen, and you don’t have to think about what is taking place in your life today. Studies have demonstrated that people use worry as a way of avoiding unpleasant situations and feelings. By staying “up in your head” in worry, you can block the part of the nervous system that processes feelings.

If you worry a lot, now might be a good time to challenge some of the beliefs you have about worry.

David Joel Miller, MS, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC)  Mr. Miller provides supervision for beginning counselors and therapists and teaches at the local college in the Substance Abuse Counseling program.

Recommended Mental Health Books

David Miller at counselorssoapbox.com is an Amazon Affiliate and may receive a small Commission if you purchase a book or product using the link on this page. Using the link will not increase the cost to you.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seems like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get their lives out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books, please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Bliss.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Sunday Inspiration

Bliss.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Bliss.

“To be happy–one must find one’s bliss”

― Gloria Vanderbilt

“The highest form of bliss is living with a certain degree of folly.”

― Erasmus

“If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living.”

― Joseph Campbell

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.

Inspiration

Don’t miss the Writing Wednesdays posts.

By David Joel Miller.

Man writing

Writing.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Writing Wednesdays.

Wanted to alert you to a new feature on counselorssoapbox.com. I was delighted to see how many people read yesterday’s post about my writing journey. Thank you, folks, for all the reads, likes, and follows.

For the next 8 to 10 weeks, there will be a post every Wednesday on some aspect of writing, blogging, and other things creative. After that, who knows? If you readers find these posts helpful I will see if I can keep the series going.

If this topic interests you, I encourage you to revisit the blog next Wednesday or better yet subscribe so you won’t miss an episode. Thanks again to everyone who reads the counselorssoapbox.com blog.

You’ll find more posts on this topic under – Writing.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Have you always wanted to write?

By David Joel Miller.

David Joel Miller Books

David Joel Miller Books

What is holding you back from writing?

If you are one of those people, who has always wanted to write but has never written anything you are not alone. For years, decades, I wanted to write, thought about writing, read what others wrote, but never actually put any words down on paper. Maybe you are like that. I had a family member who always wanted to write a book. He passed away with that book still unwritten. I decided that wouldn’t happen to me. I hope if you’re one of those people who has always wanted to write you won’t be one of those people who wanted to write but never did. In this and some future blog posts, I’d like to share with you my writing journey and some suggestions if you decide to embark on a writing journey of your own. Forgive me for being a bit philosophical, to begin with.

What it means to write has changed in this millennium.

What it means to write has changed dramatically over time, so has who was allowed to write. Writing has evolved from a purely utilitarian purpose to something much more expressive. Writing was once used largely by people in business, keeping track of money and goods. Today we call this accounting. Writing’s other use was for recording religious and philosophical texts. When education was limited to the few, the rich and powerful, and those that served them, there were relatively few written materials and equally few who could read them.

Universal education is a relatively recent idea. There are still people in the United States who are illiterate, can’t read and write. Many of these people are in prisons, but that’s a topic for a different blog post. Over the last 100 years or so literacy has become widespread. The result of this increase in literacy has been the transformation of literature from a mystical activity understood only by relatively few, into an activity done by many simply for the pleasure of it.

Rules about writing keep changing.

If you read the writings from the 1600s and 1700s you will find a great deal of variation in the way they spelled words and punctuated sentences. Over the next 200 years, the rules of spelling and grammar became more fixed. Definitions of words became codified in the books we now call dictionaries. Rather than being the final authorities on words, dictionaries reflect the way words are being used, and the dictionaries keep changing.

With more rules about how one should write, writing, at least writing for others to read, became more rule-bound. Writers had to submit their books to publishers who decided what was worthy of being called literature. The process of writing and publishing a book excluded a lot of people who may have had good ideas or interesting stories to tell but were unable to get their writing approved by someone else.

If you struggled in school with spelling and grammar, writing something for another person to read may have been a traumatic experience. Having someone read what you wrote who completely ignored the ideas you expressed and picked out only the misspelled words and the missing commas, may have deterred you from ever expressing yourself against.

Technology has changed what it means to write.

Since the advent of computers, it has become much easier to put your words into a form that is easily understood. Computers can check your spelling, find grammatical errors, and even help you improve your writing. The process of seeing your errors highlighted in various colors can be extremely helpful in improving skills.

Speech to text programs has obliterated the line between the disciplines of public speaking and writing. A major portion of what used to be communicated by writing is now communicated through video. Expressing your ideas is more possible now than ever.

Technology has spawned many new ways of communicating ideas.

E-books allowed many more people to write and publish books. Books that would not have been accepted by a publisher can be self-published and reach a worldwide audience. Blogs have replaced people traveling the world delivering speeches by allowing ideas to be published once and then read by people all over planet Earth in various places at various times. Blog posts I wrote five years or more ago continue to be read today.

If you’ve ever wanted to write now is the time.

In upcoming posts, I’d like to share with you my journey of learning to write, creating the counselorssoapbox.com blog, writing, and publishing two books, with more to come. I won’t pretend I have all the answers, but I’d like to share what I have learned. If you would like to take a similar journey, I will try to be your tour guide. If you have questions, please send them along. Thanks for reading.

You’ll find more posts on this topic under – Writing.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Politeness in close, romantic relationships.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.

Polite.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Is politeness in short supply?

You don’t have to look far to notice a decline in politeness. Rude behavior seems to be the order of the day. We might be able to blame this decline in politeness on the media. Reality TV, politicians, and talk shows set an extremely poor example. It would be easier to forgive these public displays of incivility if the rude behaviors were spilling over into our close relationships.

Family counselors, particularly those who do couples counseling see a severe lack of politeness within the family. Research tells us that most people are far more polite to strangers than they are to those described as their “loved ones.”

Distressed families, couples headed for a breakup, are the ones who have run out of positive feelings for each other. One way to keep your close relationships positive is to practice your politeness closer to home. Here are some tips for improving politeness with your family and friends.

Give genuine compliments, not backhanded ones.

Say you did a great job, not “well you finally did something right.” Make it a point to notice when those close to you do something praiseworthy. Commenting on the accomplishments of your loved ones should be a time to build them up not an opportunity to try to make yourself feel better by putting them down.

Say what you can or will do.

Avoid focusing on what you can’t or won’t do. Constant negative expressions poison relationships. Rather than always being on the defensive, look for ways to express things positively. If someone asks you to help them today, avoid the temptation to assert yourself by setting boundaries in a negative manner. Rather than complaining that they are always expecting you to do things, consider a polite reply. Instead of saying “no, I can’t do everything for you,” say “I can help you with that this weekend.”

Be considerate.

Avoid self-centeredness. Before responding think first about their needs and their feelings. Avoid defensiveness and try to see things from other’s points of view. Look for ways to create positive interactions.

Focus on the new.

Let go of the resentments of the past. Continuing to rehash the resentments of the past damages relationships in the present. The way to get over past hurts is to create pleasant experiences in the present. Look for ways to strengthen relationships rather than ways to get even. Think of your relationship as being part of the team. The team doesn’t win by fighting each other. It’s a hollow victory if you win by hurting your partner in destroying your relationship.

Notice the positive in people and situations.

Be careful to avoid putting those close to you down. Whatever you pay attention to, you will get more of. Always picking on the faults of those close to you, turns the relationship negative. When people conclude there’s no way to please you, that everything they do is wrong, they learn to be helpless and give up trying. Focusing on the positive creates a happier relationship.

Show appreciation whenever possible.

Do not complain, nag, or berate others. Avoid the attitude of expecting everyone to always do what you want. Show them some appreciation. Make it a point to notice all the helpful things others do for you every day. When you show appreciation, you make it easier for others to appreciate you.

Let them finish talking.

Do not interrupt. Especially when you think you’ve heard this before, practice patience. When you hear people out, you may be surprised at the things they say you were not expecting. Being willing to hear someone out is a sign of respect. If you want to be respected, you need to respect others.

Listen to them. Do not monopolize the conversation.

It is more important to understand other’s points of view than to sell yours. Do not monopolize the conversation. It’s not a conversation if one person does all the talking. Listening involves more than hearing the words. Pay attention to the feelings behind the words they are saying.

Evaluate ideas, not people.

Do not put yourself or others down. Lots of ideas look good on paper. It’s natural for people to think their ideas have merit. When you disagree, stay focused on the idea. Avoid calling people stupid or ignorant. Trying to win arguments by attacking others damages relationships.

David Joel Miller MS is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC.)  Mr. Miller provides supervision for beginning counselors and therapists and teaches at the local college in the Substance Abuse Counseling program.

Staying connected with David Joel Miller

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!

My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.

Story Bureau.

Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.

Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.

As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.

Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.

Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.

Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.

Planned Accidents  The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.

Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.

What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?

Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.

For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller

Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Activity.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

Activity.

Activity.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Activity.

“Happiness is a state of activity.”

― Aristotle

“It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. Do not mistake activity for achievement.”

― Isocrates

“Many of us feel alone and assaulted by the meaninglessness of what we are doing. But, at such times, we are doing; the problem is not a lack of activity with a point, but rather questions about the point of the activity.”

― Carolyn G. Heilbrun, The Last Gift of Time: Life Beyond Sixty

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.

Inspiration