Category Archives: Self Help

My Scary Encounter with the Department of Motor Vehicles

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My Scary Encounter with the Department of Motor Vehicles
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

My Scary Encounter with the Department of Motor Vehicles

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

The longer I live the more challenging life has become.

Recently, I was forced to confront the fact that I have gotten somewhat older. I have been putting off calling myself a senior citizen. Even though it’s not politically correct, I continue to refer to myself as an “old person.” For some reason, I’m resisting the term senior citizen. Maybe it’s because I’m so old that I’m stuck in my ways. In the interest of full disclosure here, I will turn seventy-six in the early days of 2024. I think seventy-six qualifies as an old guy.

Has the earth begun to move more rapidly?

Everything about life seems to be moving at an accelerating pace. I realize that one possibility might be that I am moving more slowly. But I’m doing my best to keep up. I think I do pretty well for an old guy, considering I am still working somewhere near full-time. I do write a blog, and I do have a YouTube channel. I did need to use the services of some technical consultants. One of my interns showed me how to answer a text message. And a preschooler has been teaching me how to stream videos. Even with the help of some younger people, it’s still getting harder to keep up.

Why did the rules keep changing?

One of the major challenges of adding more trips around the sun to your total is that the rules of life keep changing. Recently, I received a letter from the nice folks at the California Department of Motor Vehicles, informing me that since I was past seventy, I would need to take a written test at the DMV to renew my license. No more mail or online renewals for me. This struck terror in my heart.

What does an old academic do when faced with a challenge?

Of course, the first thing I did was go online and locate a copy of the current driving rules. I was flabbergasted to find out that they had significantly changed the driver’s handbook since I passed my first written test in 1964. Warning here: beware of online guides to passing your driver’s test. Even though I typed “California driver’s exam” into the search bar, I discovered some of the answers they taught me do not apply to California.

What new rules did I need to learn about?

It seems quite a bit of new content has been added to the driver’s handbook since I first learned to drive. I’ll only give you a short summary here.

Bicycle lanes.

I don’t remember anything about bicycle lanes in the driver’s handbooks from the nineteen sixties. If it was there, it wasn’t important. I was learning how to drive, after all. I had been riding a bicycle for ten or twelve years by this point. What was new and surprising were all the rules about when a motor vehicle could enter a bike lane. Bikes have lanes?

Some other things they snuck in just to confuse me.

Most of these changes in the rules came on, so gradually, I simply learned how to cope with them by watching what other people were doing and driving each day. But when it came to passing a written test on these changes in the law, I discovered I really needed to study.

For example, what are the rules applying to roundabouts? What are those blue signs and those blue zones? Of course, I knew about blue zones from having had a family member with a disabled parking permit, but the blue signs, they were a mystery.

I also discovered that there is a new sign appearing on the back of slow-moving vehicles. Apparently, we need to be told that horse-drawn carriages move more slowly than motor vehicles. I didn’t think I needed to be told that with that special sign since I remembered that they were on the roads first, and those of us driving vehicles came later.

Are all the stoners being discriminated against?

As I have aged, I’ve given up a lot of things. Among them are alcohol, drugs, and staying up past midnight. But do you realize that now the use of marijuana is included in the driver’s handbook? Just like open containers of alcohol, possession of an open container of marijuana is not permitted in a motor vehicle. Who knew?

Staying relevant can be quite a challenge as you age.

I felt pretty good that I could use the terminal to take my written driving test. Some people who were ten years younger than me needed to use the written test. And I did pass on my first try. One poor young man, probably barely past seventy, who was ahead of me in line, had just failed his written test for the third time.

I shouldn’t feel too cocky, however. I had just come to the DMV from picking up my new glasses. I now have one pair of glasses for looking at computer screens and a second set specifically for driving.

I have to feel sorry for the clerks at DMV. As hard as it must be for some of us senior citizens to be told our days of driving are coming to an end, it must be very hard for the employees to have to tell someone they can’t renew their license. All the people I talked with that day who worked at DMV were very kind and courteous. But the experience does serve as a reminder to me that the day may be coming when I will not be able to do some of the things, I used to be able to do.

Compared to DMV, my encounters with the technology people over the last few weeks suggest that some of the ghouls, fiends, and sadists who were unemployed after Halloween had moved into the technology sector. But that is a topic for another post.

In the meantime, try to have the best life possible, whatever that may mean to you.

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Kind

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Kind

Be Kind
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Kind

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.”

― Henry James

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”

― Plato

“Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are.”

― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Why I decided to give up making New Year’s resolutions.

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New Year’s resolutions
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Why I decided to give up making New Year’s resolutions.

By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Counselor.

An alternative to New Year’s resolutions.

I’ve tried making New Year’s resolutions more than once. Most of those resolutions are forgotten by the second week in January. Every year, right around New Year’s, many people make New Year’s resolutions, most of which last only a few days. I found a much more effective tool to shape my life in the directions that I wanted to go.

I decided against making a bucket list.

I considered writing out a bucket list, but I concluded that that’s a very negative way to look at things. I don’t know about the rest of you, but for me, envisioning a list of things I have to get done before I die is just too much pressure. I have no intention of kicking the bucket anytime soon, but one never knows. The trouble with the bucket list is it’s too much like the way I used to use to-do lists.

Is your to-do list your friend or your enemy?

A bucket list is very much like that list of things I need to do each day. Those to-do lists were really beating me up. Every night before I went to bed, I would make a list of things I needed to do the next day. Why did I write to-do lists out each night just before bedtime? My plan was to empty my head so my brain could stop thinking about tomorrow and allow me to get some sleep tonight.

The following day, I would struggle all day to finish those ten or twelve things on the to-do list. If I was lucky, I accomplished at most two or three. That left me feeling more like a failure than like someone who accomplished a lot. I decided that instead of a list of things I needed to do tomorrow, I would create a list of things I wanted to do. Now, if I finish three things that I want to do each day, I feel good about my day, even if there are a whole lot more things left on the list. So how can I apply this process to the idea of a bucket list or, more importantly, to my scads of New Year’s resolutions, which never went anywhere?

Try creating a life list.

A few years back, I decided to create a life list. I read a lot, and I came across this idea somewhere. Can’t remember where. But I thought this was an idea I could apply to all those abandoned New Year’s resolutions.

I have a binder on my desk, which I use to organize my life. One section includes the counseling and coaching appointments I have each day. Another section consists of a calendar of blog posts and when they will be published. I try to stay up to date on that list, although in the last few years, through the pandemic and the aftermath, writing blog posts has had to take a much smaller priority.

One section in that binder is now devoted to my life list.

I set aside one section in my trusty old binder for my life list. Whenever I get an idea for something I want to do, I write it down there. Every time I do one of those things, I cross that off the list. It doesn’t matter whether the thing I want to do is a small one or a large one.

One day, I was watching a TV show, and they were talking about eating kiwifruit. It occurred to me that I’d never eaten a kiwi. So, I put it down on my list. The next time I went to the grocery store, I bought some kiwifruit and put it in the refrigerator to chill. The following day, I ate my kiwi. One thing I scratched off my life list having done something I wanted to do.

One of the advantages of having a life list is that it doesn’t matter whether the thing you want to do is small or large. Whether it’s eating a new food, writing a book, earning another college degree, or just taking a two-hour class, any goals I come up with get written down. Every time I complete one, I scratch it off.

Reaching these goals may require various processes. One thing I learned about making my life list was to keep the goals very small and specific. Writing a blog post about New Year’s resolutions is much easier than writing an entire book on setting and keeping those resolutions.

To be perfectly honest, the last time I reviewed that life list, I crossed a few things off the list that I hadn’t done. Just because I think I might want to do something doesn’t mean I have to do it. I can cross something off the list at any time. Changing my mind about something on the life list feels much better than saying I gave up on one of my New Year’s resolutions.

Shifting your thinking from a list of things you must make yourself do to a list of things you want to do makes it much easier to manage. What do you think of this idea? Are you ready to give up making resolutions you know you won’t keep and start doing more of the things you want to do?

Does David Joel Miller see clients for counseling and coaching?

Yes, I do. I can see private pay clients if they live in California, where I am licensed. If you’re interested in information about that, please email me or use the contact me form.

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

Want the latest blog posts as they are published? Subscribe to this blog.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For more about my books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

January

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January
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

January

Inspiration.      Post by David Joel Miller.

“We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives…not looking for flaws, but for potential.”

― Ellen Goodman

“December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.”

― Mark Twain

“If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.

[Inaugural Address, January 20 1961]”

― John F. Kennedy

“For January, I don’t care how the story ends as long as I spend it with you.”

― Emily Henry, Beach Read

Since time is such an important part of human existence, humans being finite after all, the passage of time on planet Earth has affected our customs and our thinking. After writing a series of posts about various feelings and, character strengths, and values, I thought it might be worth exploring the connection between the seasons and our experiences and emotions.

Because planet Earth is tilted, the seasons in the northern and southern hemispheres are opposite. How you experience Mother Earth and our changing weather depends on where you’re situated on this planet. My apologies to those who might read this who live in the southern hemisphere, but since I am much more familiar with the weather and the seasons in the northern hemisphere, I’ll am following that system.

Our current calendar is heavily weighted toward the Roman calendar. Originally, there were only ten months with the stormy times after New Year’s left out. Eventually, two more months had to be added to cover what we now call January and February. The Irish calendar, sometimes called the Celtic calendar, begins each of the seasons one month earlier, probably due to the difference in the weather farther north. I hope you find some of these thoughts worthwhile.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

A New Year is Dawning.

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Inspiration for a new year     Post By David Joel Miller.

The New Year

New Year Dawning.

Happy New Year
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.”

― Oprah Winfrey

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.”

― Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you please share them.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Intoxicated

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Intoxicated
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Intoxicated

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“Live the full life of the mind, exhilarated by new ideas, intoxicated by the Romance of the unusual.”

― Ernest Hemingway

“For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

“Young people are in a condition like permanent intoxication, because life is sweet and they are growing.”

― Aristotle

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Winter Solstice has arrived.

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Post by David Joel Miller.

It is Solstice.

Sunrise at Stonehenge.

Winter Solstice
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Winter Solstice

Inspiration.      Post by David Joel Miller.

The winter solstice marks the day with the fewest hours of daylight and the maximum number of hours of darkness. In the northern hemisphere, it can occur annually on either December 21st or 22nd. This year, it will happen on Thursday, December 21, 2023, at 10:27 P.M. EST.

At this point, the North Pole reaches its maximum tilt away from the sun. For those of you who are in the southern hemisphere, this will mark your summer solstice.

In some spiritual traditions, the Winter Solstice, sometimes referred to as  Yuletide, marks the end of things the way they were, as past lives come to an end. This is the time to take the pain and suffering of the past, put it in a box, and bury it. From this point forward, people either stay stuck in the problems of the past or begin to grow in a new direction.

The days between the winter solstice and Christmas as we know it are often filled with visits from family and friends and frantic activity as we prepare for the feast that marks the end of Christmas.

By some accounts, the five days between the Winter Solstice and Yuletide are the equivalent of the 5 unlucky days that appeared at the end of the Aztec calendar. During these days, everyone stayed home and avoided beginning new projects or taking risks.

For most people, the days between the Winter Solstice and the New Year are a time of celebration and reflection. Major decisions and life changes are typically made in the form of New Year’s resolutions.

Whatever your religious or spiritual tradition, the period from Winter Solstice to New Year’s is an excellent time to take stock of what happened in the year past and chart new directions for the year to come.

I hope you find some of these thoughts worthwhile.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Irresistible.

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Irresistible.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Irresistible.

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.”

― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”

― Robert Frost

“But in Shakespeare’s world, passion is irresistible, not embarrassing.”

― M.L. Rio, If We Were Villains

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you.  Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Interested

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Interested
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Interested

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn’t matter. Explore the world. Nearly everything is really interesting if you go into it deeply enough.”

― Richard P. Feynman

“Why are women… so much more interesting to men than men are to women?”

― Virginia Woolf

“We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken.”

― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel

Emotional

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Emotional
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com

Emotional

Sunday Inspiration.     Post by David Joel Miller.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”

― Helen Keller

“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science.”

― Albert Einstein, The World as I See It

“Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. I’ve also included some words related to strengths and values since the line between what we think and what we feel may vary from person to person. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.

Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings, strengths, and values.

Emotions and Feelings.                      Inspiration

Staying in touch with David Joel Miller.

For more information about my writing journey, my books, and other creative activities, please subscribe to my blog at davidjoelmillerwriter.com

Seven David Joel Miller Books are available on Amazon now! And more are on the way.

For these and my upcoming books, please visit my Amazon Author Page – David Joel Miller

For information about my work in mental health, substance abuse, and having a happy life, Please check out counselorssoapbox.com

For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel