Today August 7th – Dark Family secrets – Kindle edition will be free on Amazon.
What if your family secrets put you in danger?
Some family secrets can be deadly.
Doris Jones formally Doris Barnes desperate for a job moves back to her father’s hometown to take a teaching job at the high school. Doris discovers her family has dark secrets. Some people hate her because of her family and others want to harm her.
Alcohol many parts of the human body. How does alcohol affect the gastrointestinal tract, pancreas, liver, and the immune system?
12 ways to get things done, when you don’t feel like it.
Get more done.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
There are lots of excuses we give ourselves for why we are not getting things accomplished. Life gets busy. Some days you are tired. Writers have a special excuse they use called “writer’s block.” If there are things you want to accomplish in life, you must do them, and the longer you stay stuck, the harder it is to get moving again. If you have things you say you want to do but aren’t making progress here are some suggestions to help you get things done.
Cleaning off your desk, putting away unneeded items, can pay big dividends by getting the things that you won’t need to do today out of your eyesight. Try creating a daily routine that gets you in the mood to be productive. Some people find it helpful to do their exercise in the morning before they start work. A few minutes of mindfulness or meditation practice may be useful.
As long as you are thinking about things you want to do someday, you never get anything done today. There’s something about writing things down that makes them more real. Every day has 24 hours, and it can seem like there will be plenty of time to get things done right up until you run out of time.
Start by making lists of things you’d like to accomplish. Estimate how much time each of those things is likely to take including extra time for setbacks, delays, and the inevitable procrastination. Break large projects down into smaller components. If you wait until you have time to sit down and write your novel, you will probably never get it done. What you can do is spend an hour each day, or more, outlining and then writing that book chapter by chapter.
Make sure the goals you are setting for yourself are, in fact, possible. Don’t overload your day by putting too many things on your to-do list. It’s easy to create unrealistic goals, which become excuses for never having accomplished anything. For years I said I wanted to write a book, but I
kept putting it off. What finally got me writing was the decision to write something each day until I finished the book.
Trying to multitask can easily result in less productivity, not more. Very few people can do two tasks at the same time. When you try to do multiple things at the same time, you will waste a lot of time switching back and forth.
Work on the things you’d like to avoid while you still have energy. I find I wake up in the morning with a small amount of willpower. If I spend that willpower doing lots of little pleasant chores that one big, unpleasant task never gets tackled. If the unpleasant chore can be completed in one day break it into chunks and do a little each day. What you see the progress you’re making in that area you will be more optimistic about tackling the other things you need to do today.
Life happens. Plenty of things will come up to get between you and the things you say you want to do. Having a deadline in mind and doing small amounts each day, week, or month moves you forward. It’s natural to procrastinate and to be distracted from time to time. Once you have set a deadline for yourself, it helps you refocus each day on whether you’re moving towards that deadline.
For several years now, I’ve participated in the NaNoWriMo novel writing contest. The goal of this contest is to complete at least 50,000 words during November. If you don’t finish your 50,000 words by November 30, your book can be a winner. That self-imposed deadline has resulted in November each year being my most productive writing month.
Set and enforce boundaries with others. Make firm commitments to yourself on things you will and won’t do. To devote yourself to one thing, you have to let other things go. Whatever you’re working on a big project, little things can chew up all your time. Don’t let other people distract you from pursuing your goal.
Sometimes to make progress, you need to get away from what you been doing. Don’t use these breaks as ways to get out of the habit of doing. If you don’t feel like working on something for yourself, do something for someone else. Helping others can brighten your mood and get you moving again, ready for your own challenges.
Positive people build you up and energize you. Negative people can drain you of all your energy. We all need somebody on our team whose cheering for our successes. The more you associate with positive people, the more positive you become.
Many people find their more productive if they get up an hour early. This only works if you get to bed at a reasonable time. Being chronically sleep deprived is like overdrawing your bank account. There will be additional long-term health consequences from being chronically short on hours of sleep.
Make sure you eat healthy meals. Start your day off with breakfast. Make sure you do the things you need to do for your mental health. Remember the good self-care does not mean vegging out, doing nothing, or doing things that might be harmful.
You don’t get very far running on empty. Include time in your schedule for reading, listening to music, and for maintaining your social connections. Spend some time each day learning something new. Check out the literature on productivity.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Six David Joel Miller Books are available now!
Dark Family Secrets: Some family secrets can be deadly.
What if your family secrets put you in danger?
Letters from the Dead The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead?
Casino Robbery is a novel about a man with PTSD who must cope with his symptoms to solve a mystery and create a new life.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Sasquatch. Wandering through a hole in time, they encounter Sasquatch. Can they survive?
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Books are now available on Amazon.
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Want the latest on news from recoveryland, the field of counseling, my writing projects, speaking, and teaching? Please sign up for my newsletter at – Newsletter. I promise not to share your email or to send you spam, and you can unsubscribe at any time.
For more about David Joel Miller and my work in the areas of mental health, substance abuse, and Co-occurring disorders see my Facebook author’s page, davidjoelmillerwriter.
Timid. Sunday Inspiration. Post by David Joel Miller.
Timid.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
“Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty.”
Thomas Jefferson
The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid.
Claudia Lady Bird Johnson
“Shyness is only the effect of a sense of inferiority in some way or other. If I could persuade myself that my manners were perfectly easy and graceful, I should not be shy”
― Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility
Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.
Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.
Today July 31 – Letters from the Dead – An Arthur Mitchell and his dog Plutus Mystery – Kindle edition will be free on Amazon.
Letters From the Dead
Free Kindle book Today only
Letters from the Dead The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead?
Arthur Mitchell discovers a letter from Abigail Morton Pettengrew to Inspector Detective Thaddeus Kincaid describing a kidnap and murder. Abigail and Detective Kincaid are both dead and now someone is out to end Arthur’s life.
How does growing up around alcohol affect drinking and drinking problems? What temperaments increase or decrease the risk of developing an alcohol problem and what are protective factors?
By David Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor.
Unhappy.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Everyone has days when they’re feeling down. When that down feeling goes on too long, and it interferes with your life, it becomes a thing we know as clinical depression. Treatment for depression can involve three separate approaches, medication, counseling, and changes in thinking and behavior. For that occasional blue moon, medication is not recommended. Using chemicals to change the way you feel can result in a substance use disorder.
Talking to people whether you’re in counseling or have a support system is useful even when your down mood hasn’t reached a diagnosable mental illness. People who incorporate talking and active behavior reduce the risks of developing depression, and these tools can be used to prevent relapse if you have been treated for depression.
Exercise doesn’t have to be strenuous for you to receive benefits from it. Walking as little as 20 minutes a day can improve your outlook on life. More important than the intensity is the frequency. You can’t sit on the couch every day and then expect to make up for it by exercising all day on Saturday.
Getting into motion has lots of benefits. Many people report that they don’t feel like doing anything, but once they start moving, that sluggish feeling disappears.
Brighter light helps your mood, so does fresh air, and being in nature. If you’ve ever been to the mountains or the lake you probably felt better. Researchers believe that there are healing benefits for humans being around nature. The recommended dose of mother nature is at least two hours a week.
Positive outlooks on life are contagious. Humans are social animals, and they tend to copy the people they spend the most time around. Pick your friends wisely. If you hang out with gloomy people, the joy leaves your life.
We all need a support system. It’s terrific if you have one person in your life you’re close with. But a support system needs to be more than one person. Having good Friends keeps you connected and prevents Loneliness.
Get plenty of sleep on a regular basis even if you have to cut some things out of your life to do it. Eat healthy food and drink plenty of water. When you’re tired, hungry, or thirsty, your mood suffers, and you become irritable.
When you have difficult tasks on your to-do list, don’t procrastinate. The longer that hard-to-do project sits on your to-do list, the more anxious or depressed you’re likely to become. Tackle that challenging project first, and as you see progress, towards your goal, you can take pride in your accomplishments.
Straighten the things around you. Do a quick cleaning up project. Eliminate clutter. A little bit of rearranging can make you a lot more comfortable in your surroundings.
Doing for others is a proven way to elevate your mood. Any time you spend doing for others is time you’re not thinking about your challenges.
The process of learning something can elevate your mood. Learn a new skill. Study something you’ve always wanted to know about.
Lots of people watch TV or online videos. But there’s something about “reading” a book that has a lasting impact on people. Whether you read a physical paper book, read an electronic version, or listen to an audiobook, you will engage your imagination. Videos show you everything. Books suggest things, leaving you to fill in the details. Reading more can increase your creativity and make you feel better.
One way to break out of a down mood is to smile more. People who smile begin to feel happy. People who laugh more are more fun to be around.
Being happy is not selfish. It makes you an easier person to be around. Happy people are easier to get along with, more productive, and more likable.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
Suspicious. Sunday Inspiration. Post by David Joel Miller.
Suspicious.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
“Many people today agree that we need to reduce violence in our society. If we are truly serious about this, we must deal with the roots of violence, particularly those that exist within each of us. We need to embrace ‘inner disarmament,’ reducing our own emotions of suspicion, hatred and hostility toward our brothers and sisters.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
“Pure love and suspicion cannot dwell together: at the door where the latter enters, the former makes its exit.”
― Alexandre Dumas
“Suspicion is a virtue as long as its object is the public good, and as long as it stays within proper bounds. … Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel.”
― Patrick Henry
Wanted to share some inspirational quotes with you. Today seemed like a good time to do this. There are an estimated 100,000 words in the English language that are feelings related. Some emotions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant, but all feelings can provide useful information. If any of these quotes strike a chord with you, please share them.
Look at these related posts for more on this topic and other feelings.
What causes alcoholism? The role of genetics in alcoholism. Alcoholic rats.
Ways to Build Intimacy in Relationships
Intimacy.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com
Discover the many meanings of intimacy
What do you associate the term, “intimacy” with? Do you picture a candlelit dinner, an impassioned embrace, or a long walk on the beach? Intimacy is so much more than a purely physical or romantic moment. It’s a hard-earned mental, emotional, and physical connection with a partner.
You can be intimate over an ordered-in pizza and movie, a quick kiss goodbye, or silent car rides. It’s most often found in the little moments of comfort and closeness, so it’s important that you don’t put too much pressure on finding intimacy in grand gestures. Instead, look for it in small activities and find ways to work it into your day-to-day in order to enjoy a stronger relationship.
Talk about your physical connection
However, a big aspect of intimacy is, in fact, physical connection: hugging, holding hands, kissing, sex, and simple spatial closeness. It’s crucial that you both feel comfortable and fulfilled in this aspect of your intimate partnership in order to build your sense of intimacy in the relationship.
Be honest and open with your partner: the more you talk about desires or issues you’re having in the bedroom, the easier it will be to address them and enjoy the moment. If you keep thinking of new things you want to try, don’t hide them from your partner. Open communication is key to feeling close with your significant other and it can allow them to better understand your needs.
Ask for help where you need it
It’s also important to keep in mind that experiencing difficulty with physical intimacy is normal, especially for older couples. For example, about half of all men experience erectile dysfunction, and nearly a fifth of women face vaginal dryness. Don’t let these get in your way of physical intimacy; have a simple conversation with your doctor to learn about easy remedies. They can connect you with treatments ranging from an erectile dysfunction medication that improves male performance to a gentle personal lubricant that can make intercourse more comfortable for women.
If your interruptions are more mental, consider meeting with a therapist or discussing different ways to approach sex with your partner. There are several ways to be physically intimate that avoid traditional sex, it often just takes some creativity and understanding from a partner.
If you and your partner are having issues feeling emotionally intimate, consider seeking out a couple’s therapist or a marriage counselor. A professional, unbiased party can help open lines of dialogue in a relationship, pinpoint areas in need of attention, and flesh out issues that might be preventing emotional closeness.
Find common connections
It’s also important to find ways to build intimacy in other ways. Connecting with your partner about similar interests is a great way to foster closeness and rediscover your common passions. Whether that means trying out something new to both of you, or investing time in each other’s hobbies, finding these common connections will help you develop more emotional intimacy.
It could also be beneficial to use creative ways to learn more about your partner. Often, couples who are together for years begin to feel that their relationship, or even their partner, has become repetitive and uninteresting. Instead of settling into a comfortable routine with your significant other, challenge them (and yourself) with new activities or thought-provoking conversations. Consider using some interesting questions to guide your dialogue to give you some new, intimate insight into your partner and allow you to feel emotionally closer to them.
If your relationship is lacking intimacy, consider some of these ways to find closeness and rebuild passion between you and your partner.
Staying connected with David Joel Miller
Seven David Joel Miller Books are available now!
My newest book is now available. It was my opportunity to try on a new genre. I’ve been working on this book for several years, but now seem like the right time to publish it.
Story Bureau is a thrilling Dystopian Post-Apocalyptic adventure in the Surviving the Apocalypse series.
Baldwin struggles to survive life in a post-apocalyptic world where the government controls everything.
As society collapses and his family gets plunged into poverty, Baldwin takes a job in the capital city, working for a government agency called the Story Bureau. He discovers the Story Bureau is not a benign news outlet but a sinister government plot to manipulate society.
Bumps on the Road of Life. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, low motivation, or addiction, you can recover. Bumps on the Road of Life is the story of how people get off track and how to get your life out of the ditch.
Dark Family Secrets: Doris wants to get her life back, but small-town prejudice could shatter her dreams.
Casino Robbery Arthur Mitchell escapes the trauma of watching his girlfriend die. But the killers know he’s a witness and want him dead.
Planned Accidents The second Arthur Mitchell and Plutus mystery.
Letters from the Dead: The third in the Arthur Mitchell mystery series.
What would you do if you found a letter to a detective describing a crime and you knew the writer and detective were dead, and you could be next?
Sasquatch. Three things about us, you should know. One, we have seen the past. Two, we’re trapped there. Three, I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to our own time.
For these and my upcoming books; please visit my Author Page – David Joel Miller
Want the latest blog posts as they publish? Subscribe to this blog.
For videos, see: Counselorssoapbox YouTube Video Channel
counselorssoapbox 